Finding Home Again (Catalina Cove)

by Brenda Jackson

  “Oh, I see.”

  “And, Bryce?”

  “Yes?”

  “Not that you might care to know this, but I’ve never brought another woman here other than you.”

  “You didn’t have to tell me that,” she said, before moving down the spiral steel staircase.

  Kaegan hung back, watching her. He had a gut feeling that he had needed to tell her that. He continued to stand there, wanting her to experience the full effect of seeing the changes he’d made. Before it had looked like a civil-defense facility, complete with the solid steel ceilings and cement floors. Now she was seeing he had since changed it into something else.

  It was only when Bryce’s feet touched the floor did he move down the stairs behind her. He saw her gaze moving all around, taking in all the changes. When he’d made the alterations he had no idea she would ever see them. At the time he’d been determined to change how it used to look, and make it different from those times he’d brought her here.

  “It doesn’t look the same,” she said, looking over at him. Then she glanced around before turning back to him and asking, “Where’s the cot? The table and chairs? The—”

  “They were replaced,” he interrupted. “There’s a Murphy bed I had built into the wall and the breakfast bar serves as the sitting area. The pantry revolves now and I’ve installed compact kitchen appliances.”

  He watched her walk around the place, and when she glanced down at the floor, she looked back at him. “You even tiled the floor.”

  “Yes.”

  She nodded and headed toward the area he used as a kitchen with the mini appliances. Without asking for permission, she opened the refrigerator and saw it filled with beer. She closed it and said, “You transformed it into a man’s cave.”

  “If that’s what you want to call it.” No need to tell her that there were times he could swear he could still smell her scent, imagine hearing her laughter here. “I still have the covering you knitted for the table.”

  She glanced over at him. “You do?”

  “Yes.” He leaned against the breakfast bar and watched her walk around, taking in the different textured walls. The section of the room that used to look like a command center was now the area where he kept a lot of his electronics.

  Kaegan wasn’t sure how long she walked around and he wondered if she was somehow getting closure. Finally, she turned to him. “I’m ready to leave now.”

  He walked over to her, feeling emotions that she was trying to hide. This place was a part of her past, like it was to him. It had meant something to them once. “Talk to me, Bryce. Tell me what you’re feeling. What you’re thinking.”

  She looked away and then she looked back at him. “I came here today to find closure, but it appears that you beat me to the punch. Obviously, you needed closure here, as well.”

  He hadn’t seen it as closure but more as survival. It had been time for changes and he’d made them. But nothing—and he meant nothing—could erase memories of her presence here. There hadn’t been a single time when he’d come here that he hadn’t thought of her, remembered bringing her here, making love to her here.

  “No, Bryce, making changes was not my way to find closure. It would have taken more than removing pieces of furnishings and installing a staircase to do that. No matter what you think I might have transformed this place into, I never lost sight of what it had meant to us. Nothing can ever replace that.”

  She lifted her chin. “It should.”

  “Why?”

  She glared at him. “Coming here was a mistake. I’m ready to go.”

  She moved to walk by him but he reached out and grabbed her hand, gently holding it in his. Her hand was trembling, but she didn’t pull it away. She wasn’t looking at him but was staring down at the tiled floor.

  “Bryce?”

  She slowly lifted her head and met his gaze. He felt a punch to his gut when he saw those eyes, which always had the ability to take his breath away, were filled with tears. When one fell and trickled down her cheek, on instinct he reached up and wiped it away with the pad of his finger.

  “I can’t say enough how sorry I am for what I did to us, Bryce. I take full responsibility for hurting you, for costing us the last ten years, the future we’d dreamed of.”

  He paused, fighting back the urge to tell her here and now that he knew he loved her and that closure was the last thing he wanted with her. The only reason he held back was because she wouldn’t be ready to accept that yet. Bryce was a show-me kind of girl and he intended to show her that she was the only woman who had his heart.

  He stared into her eyes and she stared into his. He was aware of the moment her gaze shifted from his eyes to his mouth. She used to do that when she wanted him to kiss her. Did she remember? Deciding not to waste time pondering it, he lowered his head to hers.

  The moment their lips touched, ten years of denial, hunger and craving took control. He slid his tongue in her mouth like he had every right to do so. Like he had to do so, or die right then and there. There might have been other women after her but none had ever meant anything to him. None had ever made him feel the way she had. Only Bryce had the ability to not only rock his world, but also tilt the universe in his favor if she chose to do so.

  And at that moment, he intended to give her a reason to do that very thing.

  * * *

  DEEP IN THE recesses of her brain a warning light was going off. Bryce knew she should heed it. But she couldn’t. She was too far gone and had been the moment Kaegan’s mouth had closed over hers, almost eating her alive. Shivers of passion were flowing through her and she groaned when he deepened the kiss.

  At sixteen she’d thought nobody could kiss like Kaegan and felt the same way when he’d celebrated her twenty-first birthday with her in a hotel room in Atlanta. He’d made all the arrangements and all she’d had to do was show up. She thought the same thing now that she had then. A twenty-three-year-old Kaegan definitely knew how to use his mouth and tongue. Now, fast-forward and her mouth was being taken by a thirty-five-year-old Kaegan.

  The way he was kissing her was sending blood rushing through her veins and unleashing a degree of passion within her that had her wondering where it had come from. Her senses were on full alert. She was totally and completely reeling from the skilled and adept use of his mouth.

  And then she felt his hands. They were roaming over her backside, molding to her like he used to do, and on instinct her body curved into his. And just like the night they’d danced together, she felt his aroused state. Knowing he still desired her did something to her and she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, cradling his erection at the juncture of her thighs.

  Her mind was suddenly flooded with memories of how good things used to be between them, when he had been her world and she had been his. When they’d shared love, secrets and then more love. At this very place. He deepened the kiss even more and she could feel heat flowing from his body to hers. The strength of his thighs pressed even harder against her, and she could feel his thick, hard shaft getting bigger, more aroused.

  She wasn’t sure how long the kiss would have lasted because at that moment his watch beeped. He disengaged their mouths but kept his arms wrapped around her waist. Her hands fell from around his neck and she tried taking a step back but his hold around her waist tightened.

  Clearing her throat, she asked, “Was that an alert letting you know someone is on the island?”

  He shook his head. “No. That was a text from Willa. I need to get back to deliver lunch to my men.”

  His words made her realize he’d gotten behind on his schedule today to bring her here. “Sorry that I asked you to—”

  “Don’t apologize for asking me to bring you here, Bryce,” he interrupted.

  Yes, for all the good it had done. She’d come here for closure but instead what she’d go
tten was awakening passion. “Why, Kaegan?” she asked him.

  He lifted an eyebrow. “Why what?”

  “Why did you kiss me?”

  Releasing her, he shoved his hands into his jeans and she wished he hadn’t done that. Doing so made the solid and enlarged shape of his erection that much more defined and pronounced. The area between her legs twitched in response to seeing it.

  “You might want closure, Bryce, but I’m not sure that I do.”

  She frowned. “B-but you said we could never go back to being the way we were.”

  “No, you said that.”

  Yes, she had. “But you agreed.”

  “What I did was go along with what you wanted, but that kiss was a game changer.”

  Her frown deepened. Game changer? Lifting her chin, she said, “Nothing has changed, Kaegan. We will never be anything more than friends.”

  “Okay.”

  Okay? She lifted an eyebrow. “So you agree with me, right?”

  He shook his head. “No, at the moment I’m going along with what you’re saying.”

  At the moment? “I think we need to talk about this.”

  He shrugged massive shoulders and she noted his erection hadn’t gone down—not one iota. “What is there to talk about? We want different things. You want closure and I want you.”

  She placed her hands on her hips. “So, is that what this is about, Kaegan? Sex?”

  It seemed her question made something snap within him and he pulled his hands from his pockets and took a step closer to her. She could feel anger radiating out of his every pore. What was he mad about when she’d spoken the truth?

  His eyes were flaring fire and his jaw was twitching. Then he said, “Let’s get one damn thing straight, Bryce. I’ve never had sex with you. Every time I entered your body it was to make love to you, to cherish you as my mate. Don’t try and cheapen what we shared together, no matter how things turned out between us. Don’t ever do that again. Now let’s go.”

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  KAEGAN PULLED THE boat up to the dock. Turning off the boat’s ignition, he offered his hand to Bryce to assist her out the boat. Instead of taking it, in a brusque voice, she said, “I can manage. Thank you.”

  “Don’t mention it,” he said with the same gruff tone as he watched her climb out of the boat onto the dock.

  He watched her leave, which was fine because he needed a few minutes to himself to reflect on the kiss they’d shared. A kiss he knew would keep him up at night thinking about it, reliving the moment. Whether she realized it or not, that kiss had told a story of its own. She might want to deny it, but he’d felt her response. And she wanted closure? Well, he had news for her. If she thought the kiss was one-and-done, then she needed to think again. And he intended to do just that—give her time to think without crowding her. She needed to finally accept he wasn’t going anywhere. Their lives were entwined. She belonged to him and he belonged to her.

  Kaegan believed they were soul mates. What other reason could there be for them coming full circle? Hopefully, in time she would accept they could never be just friends. They had ticked that box and moved beyond that when she’d turned sixteen.

  Although today hadn’t turned out quite like he would have liked, he believed them going to Eagle Bend Inlet had been something that was needed. There was nothing wrong with returning to the place it all started. The place where they’d first made love and where he’d told her he loved her and committed his life to her.

  That was how it was and that was how it would always be.

  * * *

  THAT NIGHT BRYCE closed her books, stood and stretched. In the far reaches of her mind she could hear Kaegan saying the words “take a shower and drink a glass of wine before going to bed.” She intended to do just that. At least she was thinking of something else and not that kiss, which still had parts of her body tingling with sensations.

  If there had been any doubts in her mind that Kaegan could still rock her world, they had been obliterated today. He was even better than she’d remembered. He had kissed her like the grown man that he was and she’d responded like the woman she’d become.

  So much for wanting closure...

  Her mouth had known him the moment he’d touched it. The same thing with her tongue. He had wrapped his around hers and sucked gently as he’d always been prone to do. But now there was a hunger within him that she detected. A hunger that had aroused her just as much as it had him.

  Bryce knew that she and Kaegan were at odds again for now. During the ride back to the dock from Eagle Bend Inlet they hadn’t spoken one word. He had definitely been quick to let her know making love to her had meant more than sex. She appreciated that, although at the time she hadn’t because she’d been angry with herself for returning the kiss. Instead of blaming herself, she had blamed him.

  Standing, Bryce was about to go into the bedroom to shower when her phone rang. She recognized the ringtone as Vashti calling. It was then that she recalled her last parting words to Vashti were that they would talk later. Now was later.

  “Hello, Vash.”

  “Well, well, well, would you like to tell me how you and Kaegan happened to get lost at sea for two hours after you left the ship?”

  Bryce rolled her eyes. “We were not missing for two hours. We took a detour that only took thirty minutes.”

  “That’s not the way I heard it. I got sleepy again and caught a ride back to the dock with Elton after lunch and that’s what I heard.”

  “Well, you heard it wrong.” There was no need asking Vashti where she’d heard it from. It didn’t matter since it could be from a number of people. Unfortunately, news traveled fast in Catalina Cove even when the news was not factual.

  “So where did the two of you go?”

  Bryce knew Vashti. Her best friend wouldn’t let up until she spilled her guts. Besides, she could use another friendly ear and Vashti did owe her for all those times she had counseled her about Scott and even about Sawyer.

  “We went to what used to be our secret place,” she said, hating to admit such a thing.

  “Really? Whose idea was that?”

  “Mine,” Bryce confessed.

  “Could I ask you why?”

  “I need closure.”

  Vashti didn’t say anything for a moment, and then she said, “Let me get this straight. You want closure, so you asked Kaegan to take you to a place that used to be your private place, where the two of you would make love, make promises and whisper words of forever?”

  “Yes.”

  “Excuse me, Bryce, but closure usually doesn’t work that way.”

  Bryce dropped down on the sofa. “Not for most people, but I thought Kaegan and I should use a different approach. He went along with it.”

  “I just bet he did. He was probably hoping the place would have the opposite effect on you. Once you got there, instead of closure it would remind you of what the place meant to you both.”

  If that was what he’d thought then she’d really burst his bubble. On the other hand, he’d pretty much burst hers with that kiss. Locking lips with the fully grown Kaegan still had blood rushing through her veins. Now she wasn’t sure if she still wanted to have closure or not. If not closure then what? Hmm...a kiss from him every now and then would work. Her cheeks reddened and she couldn’t believe she could think such a thing. Of course she wanted closure. But then, from the way she’d kissed him back, she’d wanted him, too. She couldn’t have it both ways.

  “Bryce?”

  “Yes?”

  “So what happened? Did you find closure?”

  She paused a moment and then admitted, “No.”

  “And it took the two of you two hours to figure that out?”

  Bryce rolled her eyes. “We were not gone for two hours, Vash. I told you that.”

  “
Okay, then how do you feel about that closure thing now?”

  She drew in a deep breath. “Not good, because instead of closure I think something else got initiated.”

  “What?”

  “An opening.”

  “Meaning what, Bryce?”

  Bryce rubbed her hand across her forehead and thought that was a good question. “We kissed...and do you know what, Vash?”

  “What?”

  “Like fine wine it’s gotten even better over time.”

  “Hot diggity! Sounds like you’ve gotten yourself in a fix, girlfriend.”

  She didn’t want to agree with Vashti, but she had a feeling that she had. But it was a predicament that she was determined to work out on her own. Bryce was about to tell that to Vashti when she suddenly heard a noise coming from her backyard.

  “Hold on, Vash. I think I heard something.”

  “Heard something like what?”

  “A noise coming from my backyard. It’s probably Mr. Chelsey’s cat trying to get into my garbage can.” Alton Chelsey was the eighty-year-old widower who lived next door alone with his cat, Butterball.

  “Wait! You don’t know that. Don’t you dare go outside and investigate. I’m sending Sawyer over. He just got back from being out on the ship and hasn’t gotten ready for bed yet.”

  Bryce rolled her eyes. “Honestly, Vash. It’s close to midnight. Like I said, it’s probably Mr. Chelsey’s cat.”

  “And like I said, you don’t know that.”

  “Get real. This is Catalina Cove and not Amityville. Nothing sinister or crazy ever happens around here. You lived in New York too long.”

  “That might be the case, but I’m not taking any chances. I’m sending Sawyer over.”