Termination Dust

by Alana Terry

“You should have never texted my boyfriend and asked about his personal business.”

  “Wait, he’s visited you at the hospital and he’s taking you out to dinner at La Mesa’s, and he’s your boyfriend all of a sudden?”

  Kimmie smiled and shrugged. “Yeah. A lot can change in two weeks. You’ve got to keep up with the times.”

  Three hours later

  “You’re looking lovely.” Taylor raised his water goblet and smiled at her warmly.

  “Thanks.”

  “How’s Pip?”

  “He’s great. He had his first meeting with the new speech therapist yesterday. She’s been working with kids like him for almost twenty years, and she specializes in the four and under age range, so I think it’s going to be a perfect match.”

  “Speaking of perfect matches,” he said, reaching for her hand, “I’m really glad we’ve been able to spend this time together.”

  She smiled back at him. “Me, too.” Kimmie still didn’t understand what Taylor saw in her, but it must be something since he was calling her every day on her new cell phone and making plans to drive to Anchorage to see her on almost all of his upcoming weekends.

  “I know we weren’t going to discuss the trial at dinner, but I did want to tell you they set the date.”

  “What’s that mean?”

  “For right now, nothing. Even without your testimony, they’re already building up a solid case. Everyone’s sounding pretty confident he’ll be tried not only for the house fire and your assault but for your mom’s murder as well.”

  Kimmie wondered if she’d ever get used to hearing the words mom and murder together. With everything that had happened — her injuries coupled with her long physical recovery plus the relief at having Pip safe — she was still processing her mom’s death in choppy spurts and pieces. She was grateful that Taylor felt comfortable with her sudden bursts of emotion, grateful to finally have someone to talk to, someone who allowed her to feel secure enough to be her true self. Until she met Taylor, she wasn’t even sure she knew who that was.

  The waiter in his flawless tuxedo served their appetizer dish, and Taylor took both her hands in his. “Shall we pray?”

  She nodded. In spite of all she and her family had gone through, there were still hundreds of reasons to give thanks.

  CHAPTER 53

  Spring

  The Copper River Basin had broken out into spring, the season where the roads turned to slush as the snow melted, leaving acres of puddles and perfect breeding conditions for raising next summer’s batch of mosquitoes.

  Kimmie was nervous. It wasn’t her first trip back to Glennallen. She’d already returned to speak several times with the prosecuting attorney assigned to her stepfather’s murder and arson trial. She was also here last Christmas, when Taylor drove her out so she could attend his work Christmas party and meet all the colleagues he’d talked so much about. But this was the first time she’d step foot in Chuck’s old trailer since the night she and Pip fled through the woods.

  “You sure you want to do this?” Taylor asked, holding his arm protectively around her waist.

  She nodded. After Kimmie healed from her physical wounds, her sister talked her into trying out the same counselor Meg had seen after slitting her wrists. Kimmie had balked at the idea, but Meg had so many nice things to say about the woman and wouldn’t stop nagging, so Kimmie finally agreed.

  Half a year later, she was still seeing the same therapist, who agreed that this one last pilgrimage home could play a large role in Kimmie’s healing process.

  She was glad to have Taylor with her and glad that Meg had taken time off her new job as a fitness director to watch Pip. After spending the day with Taylor, Kimmie would head over to Jade’s and crash on her friend’s couch before Taylor drove her back to Anchorage tomorrow. With as close as they’d become over the months, it was surprising to think that this was the longest stretch of time she’d spent with him without either her sister or Pip around.

  He gave her a reassuring squeeze. “Want me to wait out here?”

  She shook her head, certain that there would be no way she could confront these memories of her past if Taylor weren’t here with her.

  “Got your letter?” he asked.

  She took the single sheet of paper out of her pocket and unfolded it. When she and her therapist had come up with this idea, Kimmie thought she’d be too embarrassed to read something out loud, but now with Taylor here by her side, she felt safe.

  She could do this.

  The trailer was almost exactly like she’d left it. Nobody had come to clean it out. There was Chuck’s recliner, with the trash and litter he’d left there before he went after Kimmie and her brother in Anchorage.

  There were the used napkins on the floor. If she walked into the kitchen, she was certain she’d find the same pile of dirty dishes in the sink that she’d left there the night she ran away.

  But she didn’t need to go that far. Everything she wanted to do could take place right here in the living room.

  She spread out her letter and with trembling hands began to read.

  Dear Chuck, to say you ruined my teen years and early adult life would be a gross understatement. Because of you, I lived in constant fear, hunger, and emotional turmoil. I wasn’t able to form any meaningful friendships with others my age because I was too afraid to let anyone get close, embarrassed to think that someone might discover the squalor and terror in which we lived.

  Your abuse touched every aspect of my life, and as a result I lacked confidence and never felt like I had any sense of control over my future, my will, or my body. The fact that you killed my mother and then blamed her death on suicide has haunted me for months. I’ve lost untold hours of sleep and am afraid of the dark now because of you. Even worse is the way you treated my brother. No child should have to grow up knowing his own father is a heartless murderer.

  But in spite of all the ways you deprived Pip of the things a healthy child needs to mature, he is thriving without you. With his speech therapist’s help, he’s stringing words together now and knows over three dozen signs. If your goal was to make your son as miserable as you made me, you have already failed. He is happier, healthier, and better off without you.

  I wasn’t exaggerating when I said you ruined my life, but just like I refuse to watch you hurt your son anymore, I also refuse to let you ruin or dictate my future. The coping mechanisms I learned while I was under your roof were survival instincts that helped me endure life in your home, but I don’t need to rely on those bad habits anymore. I am surrounded by a vivacious and fun-loving sister, an adorable little brother, and a boyfriend who has supported me through each and every step of my healing journey.

  I suppose if I had the time and the energy, I could sit and ask you why you did the things you did. If you despised the person you were just as much as you made us despise you, if there was a deep sadness or trauma in your past that made you turn into the monster you became. But I don’t want to know those answers. And I don’t want to ask you those questions.

  I forgive you for what you’ve done to me and my family. I forgive you, but that doesn’t mean I’m free from anger. It’s something I know I need to pray about more, and it might be something that takes a lifetime to heal from. This is my journey. I’m far from whole, but I’m thankful that my family and I can finally live in peace.

  And maybe the more I heal, the more forgiveness I can find in my heart toward you for all you did.

  Kimmie glanced up at Taylor when she finished reading. What was supposed to happen now? What should they say?

  He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. “That was perfect. I’m so proud of you.”

  He took her hand in his and squeezed. “Before we go, I have a letter of my own.”

  CHAPTER 54

  Kimmie was surprised when Taylor took a folded piece of paper out of his own pocket.

  “What are you doing?” she asked.


  “You’ll see.” His voice was loud, stronger than hers, when he started to read.

  “Dear Mrs. Jenkins, I’m Taylor, and I’m so sorry that we never had the privilege of meeting in this life. I have, however, had the privilege of dating your daughter now for almost nine months, and I’m sure you already know this, but she is a true delight. She’s made my life so full, and I’m a better man for the time we’ve spent together. She’s also told me what a great mother you were, and in a way, I feel like I already know you.

  “That’s why I hope that if you really were alive you’d give your blessing to what I’m about to ask. See, I want to make Kimmie my wife, but my mama raised me old-fashioned and told me I had to get the parents’ permission before asking a girl to marry me. Since we all know that a solid marriage isn’t based just on how poetically you can claim your love for someone, I’d like to tell you what my prospects are.

  “I’m a trooper living in Glennallen, but that’s caused a few problems for Kimmie and me. See, she’s in Anchorage, where she’s got a great job and where Pip is getting all these fabulous services, so I really can’t find it in me to ask her to uproot herself from all that and come back here where she’ll be met by so many painful memories. And I doubt your daughters would admit it, but I think Kimmie and Meg would miss each other if I tried to tear them apart.

  “Which is why I ended up getting a new position lined up, and I’ll be starting at the Anchorage police academy in six weeks. Assuming your daughter says yes, I’d like to make her my wife sometime this summer. I might not be able to afford a mansion on the hillside, but I’d like to see her settled into a nice house, her and Pip both, and I’d just like to mention that if the opportunity comes and it feels like the timing’s right, I would consider it a blessing and an honor to officially adopt your son because I love that little boy, and I’m already so proud of the developments he’s made.

  “To be quite honest, Mrs. Jenkins, I’ve been meaning to find a way to ask your daughter to marry me for quite some time now, and being the big chicken I am, this is the best idea I could come up with. I promise that if she agrees to my proposal, I’ll spend every day providing for her, protecting her, and giving Pip the happy childhood a boy like him deserves.”

  Kimmie stared up when Taylor finished reading. Was he actually shaking?

  He folded the paper up and tucked it back into his pocket. “Well?” he asked.

  She stood up on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Of course,” she whispered and melted into his kiss.

  A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR

  Termination Dust could have never been written if I hadn’t spent years living in rural (and I do mean rural!) Alaska.

  One of the scariest parts of life out here for me as a mom was how far we were from medical care. At one point my son had a hard time catching his breath (and even stopped breathing entirely). It took almost an hour on the road to get him to the clinic, then another couple hours to fly him on a med-evac flight to Anchorage.

  Thankfully, he was fine, and the adventure turned into something I could write about later.

  Because lots of suspenseful things can happen when you live in a region with more bears and moose than humans!

  Speaking of Alaska-based suspense, if you’re ready for another adrenaline rush, you can dive right into Frost Heaves, another Alaskan Refuge Christian suspense novel.

  After escaping a dangerous cult when she was a teen, Jade has learned to turn her life around. Now, with the temperatures dropping and the clock ticking, Jade will do anything to find her missing daughter. She’ll risk her own life … or even someone else’s to be reunited with her little girl.

  If you liked the intensity and excitement about Kimmie’s struggle to keep her brother safe, you’ll love everything about Jade’s quest to rescue her kidnapped daughter … and ensure that justice gets served.

  For a suspense novel that readers are calling intense, heart-pounding, and impossible to put down, read Frost Heaves today.