Lonely Lullaby

by Vannah Summers

  I didn’t know the time, but I was most likely late for work. I could probably catch a cab to the diner, though. It would suck to spend the money, but I didn't know if the buses would be running yet. Hopefully, they were, and I wouldn’t be too late.

  Being as careful as I could, I shimmied under the blankets, being extra gentle to barely shift their arms.

  It took longer than I liked, but eventually, I made it off the couch, and my gaze raked over Christian and Kai to make sure they still slept soundly. Every single one of the others was scattered around the room, some on the ground, others on the other couch. I allowed myself the time to admire their sleeping bodies, each boy rumpled and adorable as he slept.

  Once I was satisfied they were all still soundly asleep, I tiptoed down the hallway to the nearest bedroom, searching for my clothes from the day prior.

  When my search came up empty, I groaned in defeat. I would have to show up to work late and without my normal clothes. I glanced down at the outfit I still wore from last night and frowned. I could not show up to work in this, but the clock on my phone blinked five-oh-six, reminding me I was already late.

  Cautious not to make too much noise, I opened the top dresser drawer in hopes of finding something to wear. I hadn’t needed to worry, though, because it was filled from top to bottom with various plaid tops.

  I snatched one of Hunter’s shirts and threw it over my head before stripping out of my black top underneath it. I gave the shirt one last glance before I tossed it on the dresser and went in search of my shoes. They sat on the ground near the door, and I shoved them on quickly.

  It felt weird to leave without saying anything, but I didn’t want to wake them up this early. I discovered a pen and a pad of paper on a tiny decorative table beside the front door, so I hastily scrawled out a short note and set it on the coffee table nestled between the sleeping men.

  With one last glance at the guys and a quick text to Samantha to let her know she could drop Whitney off at the café when she woke up, I left the house.

  It was still dark outside, but after jogging down the road to a nearby bus stop, with some luck, I managed to catch a ride to the café.

  It was mostly empty when I rushed inside, and I sent an apologetic wave to Brooke as I tied a spare apron around my waist.

  She hurried over, and I tried not to meet her eyes. “I’m so sorry I’m late.”

  Tucking a strand of loose hair behind my ear, I wished I had an elastic, but mine had disappeared sometime during the night. I was positive my hair resembled that of someone who had just survived a plane crash.

  “Are you okay?” she asked, and I nodded.

  I peeked up at her, relieved she didn’t appear upset, just concerned. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I slept in and couldn’t find my uniform.”

  She shook her head with a grin. “Tessa, you’re fine, I promise. We all have our off days.”

  Shrugging, I glanced at the clock again. Five thirty-three.

  This was going to be a long shift.

  I was cleaning up after a crappy tipper when I felt it, that overwhelming energy.

  My head snapped around, but Hunter snatched the plate I held from me like he’d expected it.

  “Easy there, sunshine.” He chuckled, his eyes assessing me. I gaped at him, especially since he was always hangry. I hadn't expected Hunter to be a morning person. “I’d rather not look like I just survived a food fight again.”

  Blushing, both from the memory and his cheery attitude, I ducked my head. “Sorry about that.”

  He hesitated as I grabbed the dish out of his hands. “Well, I brought a spare shirt just in case, but I see you decided to do that for me.”

  My blush deepened, remembering how I’d stolen one of his shirts. Peering up through my lashes at him, I tilted my head. “Well, you’re out of luck if you need this one. I don’t have another shirt with me.”

  The color of his hazel eyes shifted as if the rain overpowered the earth, but before he could respond, Kai shouted for me.

  “Jagi!” Kai stumbled over. From the dark circles under his eyes, I guessed they’d come over right when they woke up. “You ditched me.”

  “I had work,” I pointed out.

  He glared playfully as he slung an arm around my shoulders. The others gathered around us now, and I felt awkward having them all stare at me expectantly. What did they want?

  “I know ditching when I see it,” Kai argued, leaning close to my ear. “Why didn’t you wake me before you left? I would have kissed you goodbye.”

  I may have been blushing before, but my face now burned like I had a nasty sunburn.

  “Kai, leave Tessa alone,” Ace said tiredly. Out of all of them, he was the most put together. He wore a dark-blue button-up that only served to complement his eyes and a slim pair of gray slacks.

  I bit my lip as Kai pouted at his friend. “Never,” he vowed, tossing a wink my way. “So, where can we sit?”

  Subtly, I looked over at Brooke’s face and found her mouth dropped wide open. I groaned inwardly and pointed to a corner booth large enough to seat the six of them. “If you want to take a seat over there, I’ll grab you some menus.” I dodged around them and avoided their attention as I snatched six menus from the kitchen.

  I could feel Brooke’s gaze on me, but I ignored it. My life wasn’t any of her business.

  My head felt dizzy, and I knew I probably needed some space for a minute. As if she noticed, Brooke came over and grabbed the menus from me. I sent her a grateful smile as I ran to the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and crossed to the sink to splash some water on my face.

  The air shifted as the door opened and shut. I glanced up into the mirror, ready to tell whoever had come in that this bathroom was occupied, but I was surprised to see Christian locking the door behind him.

  “Christian,” I said, shock evident in my voice. “Did you need something?”

  Nerves going haywire as he closed the distance between us, I twisted around to face him. The determination in his expression took me aback.

  “Why did you run?” His arms caged me in against the counter.

  I cocked my head at him. “I needed to get to work.”

  He frowned. “You should have woken us.”

  I sighed, knowing he was right. Maybe he would understand, or maybe he wouldn’t. “I’m sorry. Work was only a part of it. I guess I was just nervous.”

  “Why are you nervous?” The scent of cinnamon wafted up to my nose, and I relaxed despite the conversation.

  Staring into his face, I found the truth leaving my lips before I could stop it. “I don't know what I'm doing. I don’t want to hurt anyone,” I finally said, lost in his searching gaze.

  He only paused for a moment, though, lowering his face until his lips skimmed my ear. “How many have kissed you?”

  As he brushed his lips against my throat, I shivered and heat scorched through my veins, singeing every rational thought from my mind. I guess he had figured out what I hadn’t wanted to say.

  I swallowed, my mouth dry from his nearness. “A few.”

  He growled and lifted me up, resting me on the counter so my legs could wrap around him. His mouth brushed against my exposed neck, and his scruff softly scratched against my skin. “Well, then I need to fix something.”

  My lips parted, breath coming out heavily now. I fought to keep my head on straight, but every instinct in my body told me to let go. “And what’s that?”

  His lips curled into a sultry smile as he lifted his head to look into my eyes. The pupils of his eyes were dilated, and his breathing came just as quickly as mine. “By kissing you myself.”

  Swiftly, he lowered his lips onto mine, and I let out a tiny moan at the way his mouth melded to my own. I tried to gasp, but his mouth wouldn’t permit it as he continued to kiss me in a slow dance. Every time I thought I had caught up to him, his mouth would take over again. It was like a tease and chase, the way our lips tried to claim each other’s.

  “A
mor.” He sighed, trailing his mouth down to my neck again. “Meu coração, what are you doing to me?”

  I couldn’t answer him because the same question ran rampant in my mind. I was about to tell him that when his fingers shifted away the collar of my shirt and his lips left my neck to dip down to my collarbone.

  My nails clutched the counter with everything I had, trying to ground myself to reality, but Christian’s lips burned my nerves, every rational thought, to a crisp.

  I fell in grief when I was young...

  The words ghosted over my disoriented brain, and Christian paused against me. My breath caught as he lifted his head to gaze up at me, his lashes shadowing his dark eyes. His grin was soft, but his gaze held a promise that made me swallow thickly. He placed a hand carefully over my frantic heart, and it lurched wildly in my chest.

  “I fell in grief when I was young...” Christian sang softly, and my breath left me in an uneven whoosh. Part of me felt like I wasn’t actually there... as if this was too unreal to actually be happening to me right now.

  “The pain’s still hard to overcome...” he continued, his words holding an old ache that caused his voice to break. “I locked away my aching heart... Buried, hidden, it fell apart...”

  His eyes took on a distant expression, and the ghost of something haunted flitted over his irises. “I used to watch the sea with joy... Now it reminds me of that boy...” Christian’s voice came out in a soft rumble, and I lifted my hand to cup his cheek. He smiled gently, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “A boy who lost his mother’s hand... Like footprints washed away in sand...”

  Christian’s hands began a trail up my thighs, his hands heating up my skin through the clothes. My eyes shut of their own accord, and I leaned back slightly as his lips caressed my cheek.

  Singing against my skin, his deep voice coated me like an aching prayer. “Your voice is an enticing vice...” His hands found my waist while his thumbs rubbed slow circles against the hem of my T-shirt. “A soft caress that feels so right... Come calm my troubled waves with song...”

  His teeth nipped playfully at my ear, and I gasped out loud at the unexpected action. His thumbs lifted the hem of my shirt slightly, allowing his fingertips to coast against the expanse of my lower belly. My mouth released a throaty moan, and my hips lifted automatically in a way I’d thought they had long since forgotten. He smiled as his lips came to rest against mine, but they didn’t move to kiss me. No, instead he sang softly against my lips. “Please do not make me wait too long...”

  Removing his hands from my belly, he wrapped his arms around me. Holding me tight to him, he continued his song. His breath feathered across my hair, and the gentleness of the action caused my heart to thud unevenly in my chest.

  “I hear your pain, your loneliness...” Christian sang, his voice full of promise and determination. “But to you I will promise this... I’ll reel you in, then lock and latch... And keep you close, my greatest catch...”

  His gaze pleaded with mine, asking questions I couldn’t answer. “My lullaby sings to the sea… Wishing I could set it free… But how can I when life’s not fair… It takes and takes and doesn’t care…”

  The words that left him were so soft, so reverent, I couldn’t do anything more than hold my breath as he finished. “Your voice is an enticing vice...” Christian lifted a hand to play with the ends of my hair. “A soft caress that feels so right... Come calm my troubled waves with song...”

  He leaned back to hold my gaze in his. His warm, cinnamon eyes searched mine, and he smiled at what he saw there. “Please do not make me wait too long...”

  Our breathing tangled together as we remained where we were, just staring at each other without a word.

  Finally, Christian broke it. “I’ve been able to feel your loneliness for so long, Tessa. I used to sit on the beach when I lived in Floripa and watch couples walk along the sand. I wanted that someday. When I moved here, my mom didn’t come.” His voice broke, and he sucked in a breath. “She said she couldn’t leave her family, her home.”

  “Where’s Floripa?” I asked softly, glad he was opening up. Within the group, Christian had been one of the most reserved. Yet, I sensed he spoke more through his actions than his words, like when he got rid of Zack the night at the bar.

  Smiling, his expression grew distant as he became lost in his memories. “Brazil. That’s where I was born.”

  “What do they speak in Brazil?”

  “Portuguese.”

  My nerves were calming the longer we spoke, and I grinned. That was something I liked about Christian and made him stand out. He had a soothing presence, and in my stressed life, I could use someone like him. “Maybe you could teach me sometime.”

  His smile grew even more, and his lips descended on mine once again. A satisfied noise rumbled in his throat. “I’d love to.”

  Without another word, his mouth melded to my own. But even as his kiss consumed me, guilt settled camp in my heart. He had opened up to me, and I needed to do the same for him. I needed to tell him about the other guys.

  However, my phone buzzed in my pocket, letting me know someone had sent me a message and breaking our moment.

  “Christian,” I said, or more like panted as he pulled away. “I need to tell you something.”

  He placed a finger against my lips. “I already know about the others.”

  “You do?” I mumbled against his finger, and he nodded.

  “Tessa.” Christian’s accent thickened. “I heard you’re trying to figure things out. I’m confused by all of this, too. But please,” he said softly as he backed away toward the door. “Don’t make me wait too long.”

  The door shut behind him, and my body collapsed now that he wasn’t around.

  He knew? I wondered who had decided to tell him the crazy situation.

  What was I going to do?

  I remembered my phone had buzzed earlier, and I pulled it out to see who’d messaged me. Sam had messaged back to say they were pulling up.

  Chapter 22

  After taking a few calming breaths, I left the bathroom. The sounds from the café were nothing compared to the beating of my heart. I’d kissed Christian...

  I’d kissed Christian.

  Shaking my head, I snuck a peek around the corner, trying to catch what the guys were doing.

  They sat in the corner booth, a majority of them appearing half-awake. Parker’s silver-white hair stuck up at the crown of his head, giving him an adorably rumpled cowlick. Hunter smiled down at Whitney, who had taken up residency at their booth, and ruffled her unruly hair. Kai sat to Hunter’s right, picking at his fingers in an anxious tic. Ace noticed and tapped Kai’s hand to get him to stop.

  It made me wonder... Were the guys as nervous as I was?

  Brooke handed out drinks to them, but I couldn’t hear their conversation. When she turned around to head back to the kitchen, she managed to catch my eye and glared.

  I gulped but moved to meet her in the café kitchen, where I knew she planned to bombard me with questions.

  The moment we were out of earshot, she whirled on me, placing her hands on both of my shoulders. “Oh my gosh, Tessa! Who are all of those guys?”

  I shoved away my embarrassment. “They’re just some friends.”

  She raised an eyebrow at me in disbelief. “Uh-huh, friends. Friends who hounded me with questions about you as soon as you ran to the bathroom. Even Whitney and Sam seem on close terms with them.”

  “Well, Oliver is Sam’s nephew. He used to live in my apartment before we moved in.”

  She glowered down at me playfully. Although I thought I detected a hint of anger in her eyes.

  “Well, whoever they are, just be careful.” She took a step back to wrap her arms around her torso. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

  Her words mimicked the same thoughts looping through my head. I gripped my phone tighter in my hand, the rough edge of an old crack rubbing against my palm. “Don’t worry, Brooke. They’r
e really sweet, I promise.”

  As she shook her head and walked away, she whispered from under her breath, “That’s not what I meant.”

  Taking more courage, I stepped out from the kitchen and made my way over to the guys, feeling their heavy stares with each step. I felt butterflies envelop my belly, knowing I held the attention of several attractive guys.

  And so what? After the concert last night, I knew I couldn’t fake my feelings to myself anymore. I was crushing hard on multiple men, but did that make me a bad person? I didn’t want to believe so.

  But if I wasn’t doing anything wrong, then why did I feel so guilty? If Kai’s speculations were correct and they were all compatible with me, how would I choose whom to date?

  Shoving down the sick feeling in my belly, my eyes strayed from the floor and up to eyes of ice, giving me a sense of déjà vu as I recalled the first time I’d met Ace. It was only last week, but it felt like it so much longer. He had walked through the doors of the café, and everything about his commanding presence had paralyzed me, everything from his hard, blue eyes to the wrinkle-free navy shirt, even the polished tips of his oxfords that poked out from under the hem of his pressed pants. They’d made my heart titter in nervousness and anticipation then, just as they did at this very moment.

  I remembered the words I’d heard when he walked in. I’d originally wondered what they were, but now I knew. My heart had recognized his the moment he stepped foot inside.

  Where is the light... Where is the hope... To shine down on my noose’s rope…

  Breaking his gaze, I stepped up to the booth, slipping my phone into the small pocket of my apron and plastering a bright smile on my face. If they wanted to see me work, then they’d see me work.

  Sam spoke with the guys, her sweet face weary despite the smile she wore. My stomach clenched with more guilt. If anyone needed a break, it was Samantha. As I approached, she waved at me, studying my haphazard appearance from running late. At least she didn’t appear angry.