Lonely Lullaby

by Vannah Summers

  “Well, I guess we should start this band meeting,” Ace said.

  Everyone turned their attention to Ace, and I squirmed under his gaze. “Tessa, we found out about Whitney’s congenital heart defect.”

  “How—”

  “She told us at breakfast this morning.” Hunter crossed his arms stiffly over his plaid shirt. “She said she probably only has a few months left to live.”

  I tucked my legs underneath myself, and Ace settled himself on the ground by the couch.

  “She might only have a few months to live,” I corrected, avoiding their pitying faces. “There’s still hope.”

  “When did you find out?” Parker asked, his voice just above a whisper.

  “Last week. It was just after I met Kai and Christian at the bar.” I played with the ends of my hair. My hair was a tangled mess twisting down my back. I didn’t have an elastic or else it would’ve been in a bun. “I’m sorry you found out that way. I planned to tell you eventually myself, but I wasn’t sure how long you all would be around.” Picking at a particularly nasty knot, I added, “And honestly, I felt like if I told you all about it, it would make it real.”

  Ace tapped his fingers on his thigh in a steady rhythm and hummed thoughtfully. “Hiding from it won’t make it go away.”

  “Don’t you think I get that?” Frustrated, I finally glanced up to meet his gaze. “Don’t you think I go to bed every night worried sick I’m going to lose her?”

  A loud crash caused me to jump in the seat, and I glanced around to find out what had happened. Hunter stood with his back to us, a small desk upturned on the ground. My mouth fell open as I realized he’d flipped the desk over.

  “Hunter?” I called softly.

  “This isn’t right,” he said in a low voice.

  “No, it’s not,” Christian said soothingly, padding over to cautiously place his hand on Hunter’s shoulder. “But there’s not much we can do about it.”

  Hunter nodded and turned around, his eyes holding a deep sadness and responsibility. “I wish you would have told us.”

  I shook my head and placed my hands on my lap. “I hardly know you guys, Hunter. That’s not the sort of shit you dump on someone you barely know.”

  Ace cleared his throat before reaching out to place a gentle hand on my leg. His fingers stroked over my knee, almost absently, and I shivered as a soft tingle spread over my leg. “What are you going to do?”

  My body began to shake, something that would happen sometimes when I thought of difficult events. “Um,” I said unevenly. “I’m not sure. I guess pray for a miracle.”

  “Maybe we’ll be able to figure out a solution together?” Kai suggested, almost desperately.

  I sent him an appreciative smile. “Maybe, but for right now, I’d rather not think about it. It’s too fresh, and I…” I swallowed thickly. “I’m not ready. Is that okay?”

  Kai nodded and audibly swallowed. “Okay, then let’s talk about our... situation.” I stiffened, not sure I was ready for this conversation either. “Tessa, we all know there’s some confusion over our heart songs.”

  I nodded, my throat too dry to say anything.

  “What we were wondering is what your thoughts are about the situation?”

  My brows wrinkled. “What do you mean?”

  Christian met my gaze, his brown eyes unreadable. “He means, how do you feel about us?”

  My mouth drew shut as I met each of their faces. Would they think less of me if I told them the truth? That I was still too unsure at this point, but I thought they all seemed like great guys? Really cute great guys?

  “To be honest, I’m not entirely sure,” I said slowly, choosing my words carefully. “I’ve only known you guys for a short while, and I’m confused about why my heart’s reacting the way it has been with all of you.”

  Ace watched me, and I bit my lip at the thoughtful expression in his eyes. After a moment, he said, “Do you have any guess as to why your soul responds to all of ours?” I shook my head, and he continued, “I have a guess, but it’s merely my musing. What if your heart responds to each of ours because it can be with any of ours?”

  I frowned, remembering that was what Kai had been saying to Hunter after I’d passed out. “You mean that any one of you could be my soul mate?”

  “In a way.” Ace’s blue eyes held mine in a steel-tight grasp. “I’ve never heard of it happening before, but based off what I’ve observed and heard from the others, it seems like the most likely answer.”

  Did that mean I had to pick one of them myself? That there wasn’t some magical answer where I wouldn’t have to hurt anyone? I didn’t know if I would be able to do that.

  “I can’t,” I said softly.

  Ace frowned. “You can’t what, love?”

  I stared at the ground, too embarrassed and ashamed of my next words to meet any of their eyes. “I can’t pick any of you right now.”

  “We weren’t asking you to,” Ace said, and I peeked up from under my eyelashes. His expression was soft, and a gentle smile touched the corners of his lips. “That would be unfair of us to ask of you at this point. We’ve hardly had time to get to know each other. What we were actually hoping is that you would come with us on the rest of the tour.”

  My mouth dropped open. “You want us to come with you on your tour?” I repeated incredulously. He couldn’t be serious.

  “Not just him.” Oliver leaned back on the counter to reveal the skin of his stomach, successfully distracting me from the topic at hand. My eyes dropped to the skin above the top of his jeans, and I swallowed hard. When I looked up, Oliver smirked at me, an amused gleam in his playful eyes. “We all want you to come.”

  My gaze went around the room to each of the guys. They all nodded, and some of the tension left my body. “Why?”

  Parker frowned. “What do you mean, sweetheart?”

  “Well, I just don’t see how this would situation would work out. So, what? I’m supposed to date all of you at the same time?” I tried to grasp what would happen between all of us. “And what about Whitney? I can’t just uproot her.”

  Parker shrugged, his shoulders stiff. “Essentially, yes. If you wanted to date all of us, that is. As for Whitney, you’d have to decide what’s the right decision for her. If what you said is true and she doesn’t have much time left, why not spend her remaining months giving her the best time of her life? Let her see the world.”

  I shook my head. “You’re all mad.”

  “Look.” Christian came over to kneel next to Ace. He grabbed one of my hands and peered up at me with serious brown eyes, the brown so similar to the bark of the maple trees planted next to our home that I used to climb as a kid. “This is how I see it: there’s going to be pain either way, so we might as well do the best we can with the situation we’re in.”

  I frowned. “But I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

  “I just don’t see any way around it.” His thumb ran over the back of my hand before releasing it. “We’ll just have to figure it out as we go.”

  My heart tugged painfully in my chest.

  “Hey, Kai and I would like to have a word with Tessa alone, please,” Ace said, pulling me up to standing.

  He kept his hand in mine as he nodded for me to follow him down the hall. I didn’t know what to do or what he wanted to talk about, so I just followed along.

  Kai said something to the others before rushing to catch up to us.

  Ace led me to the far back corner of the house, to a room I hadn’t been in yet. Based off of the tidiness and subtle smell of freshly washed linens, I guessed this was the room Ace stayed in.

  The floor was hardwood, and the walls were painted the softest blue. A large bed rested in the back of the room, its bedding tidied and its pillows fluffed.

  Once it was just the three of us, I felt like I was able to breathe much better. I eyed Ace and Kai curiously as they moved around the room.

  Ace had me sit down on the white comforter, and I sunk
down into it a little. Ace took a seat next to me, his thigh pressed lightly against mine, and I held back the shivers that came from being so close to him.

  Kai pulled out a chocolate bar and started unwrapping it. Ace gave him an irritated look as the wrapper crinkled obnoxiously before turning to me.

  “Tessa,” Ace started, and I glanced over at him. He was so close, his face only a couple inches away from mine.

  If I leaned forward, I could press my lips against his... I shook away my wanton thoughts, though. This wasn’t the time to think like that.

  But man was it hard to ignore the need for closeness.

  “Yes?” I placed a hand on his, and he shivered lightly at my touch.

  “Is your biggest hesitation our feelings?” He gave Kai another glare as he struggled to open the wrapper farther.

  I shook my head. “No, my biggest hesitation is about Whitney.” I sent him a pleading look. “It’s just been us for so long, and I don’t know how I could uproot her like that. Plus, I still have my jobs. It’s not like I can go take a bunch of time off work. We need the money.”

  “Is that it?” he asked, and I frowned.

  “What do you mean, ‘Is that it?’” I snapped. “This is my life, and I need those jobs. I can’t just take off.”

  Ace reached forward and bopped my nose. It shocked me silent since I didn’t expect it. Especially not from him. “That’s not what I meant. I was asking if you had other reasons as well.”

  “Oh,” I mumbled, biting my lip. His eyes flickered down to my lips, effectively stupefying me. “Her doctor is here. I don’t know if he’d think it was a good idea for her to be traveling like that.”

  Ace nodded, but something pressed lightly at my lips and distracted me.

  Kai held out his partly eaten candy bar. “Say ah.”

  “Kai, if she’s going to eat something, it should be something that’s actually good for her,” Ace chided, but he didn’t sound truly upset.

  I opened my mouth and took a bite of the chocolate, chuckling at the half-amused, half-appalled expression on Kai’s face when he realized I’d bitten off more than half the chocolate bar.

  Chewing it, I moaned slightly, realizing at that moment I hadn’t eaten yet today. The mixture of chocolate and caramel slid over my tongue, and I closed my eyes as it settled in my stomach. I licked my lips, making sure I didn’t have any leftover food on my mouth, and opened my eyes.

  Kai stared at my mouth with a hungry expression, the rest of the chocolate bar in his hands forgotten for the moment. Before I could even react, his leaned forward and pressed his lips to my mine.

  I gasped, and he took advantage of my surprise to delve into my mouth. His tongue caressed my own while one of his hands came up to tilt my head back so his lips had better access.

  The movement caused me to lean back slightly, and I found myself pressing into a hard body.

  Ace!

  I jumped sideways, scrambling away from them on the bed. Still in shock at what had just happened, my brain struggled to keep up with the situation.

  Ace’s eyes met mine from across the small distance on the rumpled bed, but they weren’t angry.

  No, if anything, they were heated. Needy.

  “Sorry,” Kai said, although he didn’t sound like he was sorry at all. He opened his mouth and ate another bite of candy. “I just had to find out what was making those sounds come from your mouth. And might I say, it was quite tasty.”

  My face flushed, and my hand fluttered up to touch my lips. I wouldn’t have been this embarrassed if he’d done it when we were alone, but we had an audience.

  Ace’s eyes followed the movement, then he crawled across the bed, his gaze glued to mine.

  “Ace—” I began in surprise, but his lips crashed against my own, cutting off my words.

  Ace’s tongue ran across the seam of my lips, and they parted automatically for him. He didn’t wait for more invitation than that. His tongue slid across mine slowly, steadily. My thoughts were scrambled, but it didn’t seem to matter as he lowered his weight onto me, pinning me to the bed. I didn’t stand a chance as his teeth came out and tugged on my bottom lip, a small moan escaping Ace’s mouth.

  He pulled back, towering over me as he sat back up and straightened his tie. “You’re right, Kai. She’s better than dessert.”

  I stayed there, completely shocked at what had just happened. Had... had they both kissed me knowing the other was right there?

  A hand trailed up my leg, and I glanced down at Kai. His eyes weren’t on me, though. They were on Ace as if they were communicating without words.

  I frowned. How could they do that?

  After a moment, Ace nodded and placed his hand on my other leg. I stilled instantly, unsure what they were thinking and unwilling to ask. Slowly, their hands snaked up my calves, setting off delicious tingles as they made their way up my legs. I closed my eyes, the feeling in my body too new and confusing for me to think clearly.

  “Tell us if you want us to stop,” Ace murmured, his fingers tracing the hem of my shirt.

  My breath hitched in my lungs as both of them climbed across the bed, coming closer to me. I didn’t dare move. I didn’t want them to stop, but maybe I should have. I didn’t want them to think I was easy.

  As if he sensed my indecision, Ace added, “You’re in control, love, but let us show you just how well we can work together.”

  Was I in control? It sure didn’t feel like it. If I’d had better control, I would have probably realized this was a dangerous game to be playing. Not only with them, but with my own heart.

  Lips glided across mine just as teeth skimmed over my exposed neck. I gasped as words fluttered over my thoughts. This life feels like a circus cage... Where humans play the master’s game... Kai’s hands tilted my head more in his direction while his hands snaked into my hair. The words came again as Kai pressed his body hard against me and his mouth devoured mine, tasting every inch. But who makes the rules we abide... And wipes the tears that we have cried...

  Ace’s teeth nipped against my neck, making me moan into Kai’s mouth. Kai accepted it greedily, his hands tugging lightly on my hair. Ace’s hand slid over my belly, lifting the hem of my shirt even higher.

  His lips sucked on the spot he had bitten while his hands tugged my shirt up past my belly button. I pulled back from Kai, my breathing too ragged to kiss him anymore. Kai’s lips trailed over my cheeks, tracing down jawline as he let go of my hair.

  Ace’s mouth glided up to replace where Kai’s had been, his mouth melding with mine. I struggled to breathe properly as he kissed me, his lips holding me captive. My head spun as more new words crossed over my mind.

  Where is the light... Where is the hope... The words whispered as Ace sucked on my bottom lip. To shine down on my noose’s rope... Each cut is an escape from pain... His hands drew controlled circles along my lower belly, and I panted against his lips, unable to think as heat pooled low in my belly. The mental kind that drives me insane...

  Kai’s lips traveled to my ear, sucking gently on it while his hand moved to run along the top seam of my skirt. “Just give us a chance,” he whispered into my ear.

  Ace didn’t stop kissing me, though.

  He kept up the kiss while Kai continued to murmur softly into my ear. “We can offer you a job with the tour. You’d make more than three times what you do now. You could pay for her medicines, and we can find the best doctors in each city if you needed. We’d even have a medic on hand. Please, give us a chance.”

  Could I do that? It was so tempting...

  Ace pulled away and peered down at me, the ice in his eyes melting with sincerity. “You worry about breaking our hearts, but if you were to turn your back on us now, you would be doing just that.”

  They gently helped me up to a sitting position on the bed, and I pulled my shirt down again. They were quiet as I mulled over their words. “I just don’t know. I need to talk it over with Whit.”

  “Okay, think
about it.” Kai hopped off the bed. With one last longing look in my direction, he headed for the door. “We don’t leave until the end of next week. You still have time to think about if you want to come with us or not.”

  Ace stood next and tilted my chin up so I met his eyes. “Follow your heart, Tessa. Sometimes that’s all we can do.”

  He was right, but could I do it? Could I leave everything behind and follow them on a whim?

  I didn’t know if I could.

  Chapter 24

  Ace excused himself and left the room, leaving me to contemplate what to do.

  I nibbled on my lip as I considered their words and what had just happened. The heat from their touches continued to scorch my skin, and it made me groan in agitation as I flopped back on the bed. This world was so new to me. I wasn’t someone to go spend time with a bunch of men. I wasn’t really someone to go spend time with anyone in general. What we were doing confused my inner introvert. And yet, within just a few days, something had shifted.

  I slipped off the bed and padded to the window. Rain tormented the land, and heavy clouds sauntered across the sky. Condensation gathered at the corners of the glass, and while I gathered my thoughts, I ran the tips of my fingers over the moisture, drawing random scribbles.

  Had I made a decision, then? Would I go with them on their tour? I still needed to talk to Whitney, but maybe I should figure out my stance on their proposition.

  Wrapping my arms around my waist, I crossed the room and exited into the hallway. The subtle sounds of the shower running could be heard as I passed by a door outside the room.

  I hesitated as I walked the short distance across the hall and paused around the corner to the family room where the others waited.

  Were they all sure about this?

  Glancing around the room, I found all of the guys present except for Ace and Kai. All eyes were trained on me as I made my way over and took a seat next to Parker and Christian.

  “Did you have a good talk?” Parker asked, and I nearly choked.