by Leylah Attar
Alex shot up, his chair grating against the floor. Vasilis caught on a few seconds later.
“I’m okay. I’m good.” I sputtered as the spasms faded.
“Slowly. Siga-siga.” Vasilis handed me a napkin. “My father had a saying. Bite by bite makes a meal. Moment by moment makes a life. Some of it gets lost in translation, but you get the idea.”
I dabbed my eyes and glanced at Alex.
“Pappou was a wise man.” He sat back down and regarded me. “You sure you’re okay?”
I don’t know if I’m ever going to be okay. I’ve fallen in love with the wrong guy.
But it didn’t feel wrong. It felt fantastic—like a little red butterfly perched on my shoulder—rare, flitting, and unexpectedly delightful. There was no endgame with Alex, no rush to the altar, no expectations, no Dolly, no Ma Anga. It made me feel weightless in a way I hadn’t felt all my life.
Gravity ceased to exist when I was with him. My feet floated off the ground. My heart soared like it was tied to a hundred yellow balloons. The past blurred, the future evaporated. The place we intersected was all that we had, and it was magical and marvelous.
I smiled at Alex. Moment by moment, just like your Pappou said.
I said goodbye to Vasilis and waited as Alex gave him a hug.
“You’re going to take the Kiriakis job next?” Vasilis handed him his backpack.
“You don’t take a job on his yacht. You jump on it.” Alex grinned. “It’s pretty much a done deal. They’re just waiting on Captain Bailey’s letter of recommendation.”
His words faded as I walked over to the chair where Vasilis had cut Alex’s hair. The day was starting to get warm, but it was nice and shady by the trellis.
“You will be back? In between?” Vasilis asked.
Something fluttered against my feet as I sat under the grapevines. It was a lock of Alex’s hair, thick and dark and still slightly wet. I picked it up before the wind could blow it away.
“I’ll be back in a couple of days when this charter is done.”
My heart sank a little. Some beginnings had built-in endings. Ours was just a few days away.
I slipped his hair into my pocket, as if it would plug the void that had opened up in my chest.
“Don’t forget to water the plants.” Alex backed out onto the stone pathway, waving goodbye. “And don’t lose the spare key this time.”
“Kalo taxidi.” Vasilis waved back.
“Ta leme.” Alex hoisted his backpack over his shoulder and waited until his father went inside. “Ready to go, Heart-Eyes?” He turned toward me and froze.
Shit. Does Alex have X-ray vision? Can he see the lock of hair I just swiped from his garden? Because how awkward would that be? Not to mention ironic. First his father, and now me, collecting hair samples.
“What is it?”
“The light,” he said. “Like stars on your face.”
I had no idea what he was talking about, but as he walked up to me, he was touched by the silver flashes from the CDs hanging in the garden. We stood under the grapevines, surrounded by glints of sunlit magic.
“You’re so beautiful.” His fingers were warm against my face. They smelled of butter and sage. “The world dims around the edges when I look at you, Heart-Eyes.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat and rested my cheek on his palm. “I need the recipe.”
“For?”
“For what you made this afternoon.” I wanted to recreate the moment—the light playing on his skin, the look in his eyes, the way he made me feel like golden honey. “On a cold, gray day when I’m back in Chicago, it’ll remind me of today.”
“No.” His kiss was soft and playful.
“No?” I pulled back. “What do you mean, no?”
“I’m not giving you anything, Heart-Eyes. You crave it, you get your sweet ass to me.”
“It’s like that, huh?” I swiped his hand away from my butt.
“Don’t be like that.” His grin was pure mischief. “Not when the whole village is watching.”
“What?” I swung around and caught a pair of eyes staring over the garden wall. It was the farmer I’d passed by earlier. “The whole village? It’s just a dusty old man.”
“Don’t be fooled,” Alex replied. “He’s part of the Yiayia-Pappou mafia. Behind every door is an elder, watching all the goings-on in the village—the whos, wheres, and whats. My dignity will be shredded unless you kiss me. Passionately. Like you can’t help yourself.”
“The Yiayia-Pappou mafia? Like a Grandmother-Grandfather gossip circle?” I waved at the man.
He held something up and called me over.
“For me?” I ignored the tugging on my top as Alex tried to pull me back, still angling for a kiss.
“For you,” confirmed the farmer, handing me a bracelet with a little blue bead on it. A black dot was painted on it, resembling an eye. “To protect you from the mati. The evil eye. Thank you for pulling out the weeds.”
“The weeds?”
“Yes. In my field.” He pointed to where I’d picked flowers for Alex.
“You mean the white ones? They’re weeds?”
“Yes. They give everyone a runny nose. My wife says thank you too. She sent you a gift from our bees.” He handed me a jar filled with honey and set back off for his home.
I turned around to face Alex. “Weeds? I brought a bouquet of weeds home for you and your father?” The look that had passed between them made sense now. Alex sneezing. Vasilis wiping his nose throughout lunch. Hell, I’d almost choked on a sneeze myself. Instead of enlightening me, they’d honored my blunder and placed the weeds in Frida’s vase.
“You suck.” I wrapped my arms around Alex’s neck. “You really, really suck.”
In the split second before Alex scooped me up, I felt like I’d float away on a cloud of happiness—breathless with the light, bright quickening in my heart.
“Stay with me, Heart-Eyes,” Alex murmured against my lips.
“What?” I blinked.
“When the cruise is over… Stay with me. Extend your trip. Come back to Folegandros with me. If the Kiriakis family hires me, I’ll have two weeks before I set sail again. I’d love nothing more than to spend them with you.”
“You’re crazy.”
But my heart surged because he asked.
“You’re crazy,” I said again, and discovered it’s possible to kiss someone senseless while smiling like an idiot the whole time.
We had a few hours to kill before taking the ferry back to Santorini, so we hit a nearby beach. Cutting through a ravine, one of the few places on the island with trees, we followed a footpath down to the water. A small pebbled beach revealed itself like a hidden treasure at the end. With the cliff behind us forming a protective cove, the water was calm and clear, a sheet of turquoise glass.
“No one’s here,” I said, as Alex rolled out a towel on the rocks. It seemed like a crime to have such a picturesque place all to ourselves. “What’s going on over there?” I shaded my eyes and pointed to a group of people across the bay. They were mostly hidden from view, but the canary yellow bulldozer was hard to ignore.
“They’re building a hotel on that side. They’ve been at it forever. They keep starting and stopping. Permits. Finance. Building materials. They seem to be dealing with a new obstacle every time I come home.”
“It’ll be spectacular when it’s done though. Imagine a room right there, by the water.”
“Speaking of water…” Alex held out his hand. “You missed your swimming lesson last night. Let’s go for a dip.”
“What? Out here?” I scoffed at the open sea. A swimming pool was bad enough, but it had boundaries. It didn’t swallow up the horizon or make you feel small and completely in awe.
“Such a chicken.” His lips grazed mine before he turned to the water, leaving a trail of clothes as he undressed.
I took a mental snapshot of him standing barefoot in his boxers, his body silhouetted against the sky,
the perfect shape of his back.
Alex met the sea like it was an old friend, jumping in with a loud whoop. I leaned back on my elbows, my legs stretched out, and tilted my head back. A few clouds passed overhead, dissolving into wispy threads under the heat of the sun. It wasn’t long before beads of sweat started collecting between my breasts.
Sitting up, I saw Alex glide like a sleek eel under the water. Shrugging out of my blouse and shorts, I tiptoed to the edge in my underwear. The water was shockingly cold after sitting in the sun, but so clear that I could see my shadow on the rounded pebbles below.
“Come on in,” Alex said.
“Cold.” I gritted my teeth with each step I took. “Cold. Cold. Cold.”
“That’s it. I’ve got you.” He met me halfway and enveloped me in his arms.
Truth be told, he was cold as ice, but the feel of his body was infinitely worth it. His hand trailed rivulets of water down my back.
“Your nipples are so puckered up, you could key the side of someone’s car with them,” he said.
“You lured me in here to insult me?”
“Insult you? My God. I love your nipples. I would totally let you carve your initials on my heart with them…”
I laughed. “But?”
“But we’d have to discuss the font. You know, if it’s going to be a permanent thing.”
A permanent thing.
“What’s wrong?” Alex traced the frown lines between my eyes.
“Nothing.” I shook my head. “We both know this can never be a permanent thing.”
“Do we?” He cocked his head. “Nothing permanent starts that way. It’s something you invite to stay.” A glint of challenge flashed in his eyes.
“Alex, I—”
“I know. I’ve spooked you. Put thoughts in your head that weren’t there before. It’s what I do. Give you something to chew on—on the table or off. I think it’s time you return the favor.” He sunk his teeth into my neck and pretended to take a big bite. “Nope. Not meaty enough.”
I squealed as he went for my butt.
Splashing through the water, I laughed as he grabbed me and pulled me back.
“Not cold anymore?” He stroked my arm, shoulder to wrist.
I closed my eyes and tiptoed to give him a kiss. His lips curved and remained curved.
“Why are you smiling?”
“Because I’m happy.” He peeked through one eye and laughed. “Because now you’re smiling too.”
Joy bubbled inside me as he hugged me from behind. We took in the rocks, the sparse greenery, the little cove shimmering in beautiful shades of blue. Resting the back of my head on Alex’s shoulder, I looked up at the sky and stretched my arms out. My legs floated up, the tips of my toes peeking through the surface.
“You like this,” said Alex, towing me in a gentle zigzag through the water.
“Mm-hm.” The sea felt amazing, gliding over my skin. The motion of baby waves was comforting and hypnotic—rising and falling, rising and falling. Like listening to a heartbeat—the ancient, fluid heartbeat of the sea. My body bobbed up and down to its nautical rhythm.
Something warm touched my fingertips. I opened my eyes and saw Alex floating on his back, his fingers reaching for mine. I clasped his hand and shut my eyes again.
Then I did an internal double take. Alex was swimming next to me, which meant…
Holy crap. I’m floating on my own.
As soon as the thought hit me, I panicked. My body tensed. My arms started flailing.
“The more you fight it, the faster you’ll go under,” Alex said. “Relax. You’re not going to drown, Heart-Eyes. Any time you want, you can just kick off the sea floor.”
My feet found solid ground and relief flooded through me. We were still in shallow water. My eyes darted to the shore and our towel spread out on the rocks.
“Don’t you dare leave me now.” Alex squinted up at me. Water droplets glistened like crystals on his eyelashes. “I know it’s hard, but this is it. You give up right now, and you’ll be giving up on yourself.”
I knew what I had to do but making the leap to the other side had my heart hammering hard and fast against my chest.
“Take my hand, Moti. You can do it. You were already doing it. You were floating.”
I recalled the gentle rising and falling of my body, the water undulating like a satin sheet around me.
“Come on,” Alex said. “Eyes to the sky. Little kicks to get your legs up.”
I gave myself up to his voice, letting him guide me. When my body lifted off on a small wave, I filled my lungs with a deep breath, willing myself to stay afloat. The spike of adrenaline in my body leveled out as the water lapped around me.
I was doing it.
I was doing it all on my own.
Not wanting to jinx it, I turned my head slowly and looked up at Alex.
His grin confirmed it.
A joyous sound escaped me and burst into the sky. I shut my mouth quickly, in case that bit of air had been keeping me afloat. Then I laughed again because I was too damn happy to hold anything in.
The groove in Alex’s cheek deepened as he threaded his fingers through mine. We turned our faces to the sun and held hands, floating like two starfish in the sparkling waters of the hidden cove. I knew I would never—for as long as I lived—forget this magical afternoon with Alex.
It was early evening when the ferry from Folegandros dropped us at Santorini. The port was packed with cruise passengers waiting to board the small boats back to their ships.
“I’ll let Eddie know we’re here.” Alex phoned the deckhand who transported us to and from the yacht.
We stepped from the pathway so he could talk over the noisy chatter of the tourists. I smiled when Alex absently switched sides with me. He was the guy who walked by the side of the road, so he could take the dust or fumes or puddles for you. The thoughtfulness with which he assembled his dishes didn’t end when he left the kitchen. It naturally carried over into the rest of his life.
“See that?” someone beside me said. “You see the way she’s looking at him? That’s the look of love.”
I swung around and spotted a gray-haired couple grinning at each other. The man was holding a camera and the woman was pointing at me.
“Excuse me?” I shot a quick glance at Alex, grateful he was still engrossed in his call with one hand over his ear.
“You two are so precious,” the woman said. “We watched you coming up and I said to Ken, ‘Now that couple’s going to make it.’ We’ve been making bets while we wait for our ride. It’s such a romantic place. Not here, obviously…” She gestured to the throngs of people passing by. “But the island itself. Honeymooners everywhere. I hope we haven’t offended you. It’s just a game the two of us—”
“We’re not married.” It was impossible to be offended by their sweetness.
“Ha. You don’t need to be married to have a honeymoon glow.” She chuckled. “Would you mind taking a quick picture of us, dear?” She squished her cheek against her husband’s face after he handed me the camera. “We still have that glow, don’t we?”
“You sure do.” I laughed as they gave me wide, identical smiles and waited for the click.
“Thank you. I’m Judy, by the way.”
“Moti,” I replied, handing their camera back.
“Nice to meet you, Moti.” Her husband put the lens cap back on and held out his hand. “I’m Ken. We’re from Canada. A small town called Hamilton. You?”
“Chicago. Here for a family wedding.”
“How wonderful,” Judy said. “Although, maybe not. Weddings can be stressful, especially so far from home. Good thing you have someone special to look out for you.” She nodded toward Alex.
I thought of the Intro To Orgasms course he’d given me the night before and felt the color rise to my cheeks. Why yes, he does look out for me.
Alex hung up, saw my new friends, and gave me an inquiring glance.
“Alex, this is
Judy and her husband, Ken, from Canada.”
“Nice to meet you,” said Alex. “Enjoying your holiday?
“We’re actually on a little detour from our holiday,” Ken said. “We’re staying in Athens, but Judy’s sister and niece got here yesterday, so we thought we’d come see them.”
“Speaking of,” Judy said. “I think we should start making our way to the dock. Our tender is supposed to get here in a few minutes.”
They said goodbye and disappeared into the stream of people on the pier.
“We should get going too. Eddie said he’s already on his way.” Alex swung his backpack over his shoulder. “You ready?” He picked up a strand of my still-wet hair and gave it a tug.
I wasn’t ready, but I followed him to the pick-up spot. Isabelle’s umbrella bobbed from his backpack. It took me back to the cave in the cliffs, watching the sun set behind coal-colored islets, the slew of kisses Alex left on my back this morning. A lifetime of memories packed into the flash of a heartbeat. No, I wasn’t ready to leave it all behind.
I stepped on something and paused. A key chain with a red and white maple leaf, and the initial S hanging off it. Picking it up, I looked around to see who had left it behind. The back of Alex’s head got further and further away from me. Ships crowded the horizon—the Abigail Rose II among them, ready to transport us away. The urge to take, to claim, to keep, overcame me. Clenching my fist, I pressed the silver S tightly into my palm.
S for Stop.
S for Stay.
S for Steal
Alex turned, his eyes searching until they landed on me. He smiled, like he’d found the one face in a sea of faces—a smile lit up by the soft light of the sun. It seeped through every stitch and seam of my heart.
S for Stupid key chain.
My grip loosened, and I started running toward him.
“Come on, Heart-Eyes. Eddie’s about to abandon us.” Alex grabbed my hand.
“I doubt it.” I laughed, as we weaved through the crowd. “If he leaves the chef behind, it’ll be peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for everyone.”
“Wait a minute. What are these guys doing here?”
