by Leylah Attar
The Canadian couple, Ken and Judy, were boarding our boat.
“Hey,” Alex called, waving to them with an apologetic look. “I think you’re getting on the wrong tender.”
“This one’s for you?” Ken glanced from Alex to Eddie. “I thought you said—”
“It’s for all four of you,” said Eddie. “Come on. I’ll help you in.” He got Ken and Judy seated while Alex and I exchanged a puzzled look.
“Oh my God. Where did you get that?” Judy pointed to the key chain I was holding. “I got one exactly like it for my sister.”
“I found it back there.” I motioned toward the pier. “Is it yours?” With the red maple leaf of Canada, it had to be.
“Hold on.” She peered into her handbag and came up empty-handed. “It is mine. Thank you. I wanted Sandy to have a little something to remind her of home.”
S for Sandy, I thought.
Captain Sandy Bailey.
“She’s always on the go,” continued Judy. “My niece too. So this is the charter she was talking about. Remember, Ken? She said it was a cruise for a wedding party. Imagine running into the two of you, from the same group.” Judy seemed delighted by the coincidence.
Ken nodded, his eyes twinkling with approval as we took off for the yacht.
“Will you be staying for dinner?” Alex asked.
“Oh no. We’d never crash one of Sandy’s charters,” Ken said. “We’re just popping in for a quick hello. Maybe a cup of tea.”
“There she is.” Judy waved as we approached the yacht. “Hey. Sandy!”
Captain Bailey waved back from the platform, her smile faltering when her eyes fell on Alex and me.
Crap. I let go of Alex’s hand. She’d already warned him once, and that was before anything happened between us.
Ken was the first to get off.
“Sandy, it’s been a while.”
“So fancy,” said Judy, as Captain Bailey welcomed them onboard. “And so much bigger than I imagined. I always pictured you behind the wheel, but this is something else.”
“I’ll take you for a tour in a bit,” the Captain said. “But first let’s catch up. I asked Hannah to set a small table for us. You’ll find her one level up. Elevator’s through there. I’ll join you in a sec.”
“So good to see you.” Judy hugged her sister and started heading inside. Then she paused and turned to Alex and me. “Be sure to look us up if you’re ever in our corner of the world. Here’s our business card. We’d love to know if our wager turned out.”
“Indeed,” Ken said. “You know, Sandy, we’re betting on these two lovebirds. We didn’t realize they were your guests when we saw them on the pier. A happy little coincidence.”
“It was lovely meeting you.” Judy waved goodbye as she followed Ken to the elevator. “We’ll see you upstairs, Sandy.”
Captain Bailey didn’t acknowledge her sister’s parting remark. She was too busy pinning Alex and me with a scathing look. “Lovebirds?”
Crap. And double crap. “Captain Bailey, I—”
“I don’t want to know,” she said. “What I do know is the rest of the passengers are already on board. You need to get started on dinner, Chef Alexandros.”
“Yes, Captain.” But he stood rooted by my side.
“Is there something else you’d like to discuss?” A warning in her tone.
Alex glanced at me.
Go, Alex. She’s giving you an out. Just take it and go.
“No, Captain,” he said.
Captain Bailey didn’t speak until it was just the two of us on deck. “I don’t know exactly what’s going on between the two of you, but that man is the best damn chef I’ve ever had onboard. You’ll leave, maybe without ever looking back, but you’ll be leaving a mark on his career if you don’t stop this right here, right now. It would be a shame to withhold the letter of recommendation his next employer is waiting on, so I urge you to steer clear of Chef Alexandros. Am I making myself clear?”
“I—”
“It’s my fault,” she said. “I had a feeling something was up when I saw you in the galley with him. I should’ve stepped in earlier. I’m going to have a word with your aunt. If things are still unresolved between her and your uncle, she can have my room, and I’ll bunk with Chef Alexandros. I’d like you to clear your things from the crew quarters and return to your assigned cabin right away.”
“Yes, Captain Bailey.” I would’ve agreed to anything. The last thing I wanted was Alex to get into trouble because of me. In the span of a few minutes, I’d gone from feeling like I’d grown wings overnight, to a sinking, twisted despair.
I entered the lobby, my shoulders sagging, where I was assailed by two different female voices from two different directions.
“Moti!”
“Moti!”
Rachel Auntie reached me first.
“You’re back. Shame on Isabelle for sending you away on your own. I hope you didn’t have too much trouble finding it.”
“Finding what?”
“You know…” Isabelle slipped her arm through the crook of my elbow and gave me a little nudge. “The stuff I asked you to get for me.”
It took a moment to process what the two of them were talking about—the excuse Isabelle used to explain my absence.
“Oh. Yes, of course. I had to look all over for it, but—”
“Well, let’s see it,” Rachel Auntie said. “Let’s see what Isabelle needed so badly for the wedding.”
“It’s uh…” I glanced at Isabelle, but she’d done her part. It was up to me to come up with something. My eyes darted around, looking for something to magically materialize out of thin air. Now Naani, Joseph Uncle, and Fia all stopped what they were doing and stared curiously.
“It’s in here somewhere…” I fumbled in my handbag.
Isabelle grinned. “Come on. Hand it over.”
Bitch. I threw her a venomous look, but she only grinned wider. She was enjoying our role-reversal. I was the one sweating in the hot seat for a change.
“Ah.” My fingers closed around the glass jar the farmer gave me as a thank you for pulling weeds from his field. “Here you go.”
Isabelle looked dumbfounded, but she recovered quickly. “Honey. And not just any honey. A special kind of honey from a special colony of bees found only in Folegandros. They say bathing in this on your wedding day ensures sweetness and bliss in your marriage forever.”
Isabelle was the best bullshitter ever. I couldn’t have been more proud.
Naani, Joseph Uncle, and Fia went back to what they were doing. Rachel Auntie took a sniff of the honey. “Hmmph. Looks like any other type of honey.”
“But it’s not. Thank you, Moti, you’re the best.” Isabelle gave me a hug, but added in my ear, “I need details of exactly what you got up to with Chef Alexandros, or…” She made a slicing gesture across my neck.
“Moti!” Dolly entered the lobby and headed straight for me, arms outstretched. “My darling. My sweet, sweet beti.” She deposited two big kisses on my cheeks before pulling me into her bosom for a hug.
Well. This is new.
My arms went around her awkwardly. We were never affectionate with each other.
“Did you see?” She beamed around the room. “All these arrived for you.”
Big bouquets of flowers—on the side tables, lining the windows, on the entertainment unit. The lobby was overflowing with them.
“These must be for the wedding,” I said.
“No, they’re—”
“Hold on. My phone’s going crazy.” Now connected to the Wi-Fi, it was pinging with notifications. I scrolled through them.
Nikos.
Nikos.
Nikos.
“The flowers are from Nikos.” I looked up at Dolly. “He’s managed to sort things out with his nightclub. He’ll be here tomorrow.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. More flowers are in the cabin. Come on, I’ve been waiting to show you.”
> She grabbed me by the hand and whirled me around. We ran straight into Alex as the elevator doors opened and he stepped out.
He could tell right away that something was up. Dolly was positively glowing with delight. “Hannah is busy with Captain Bailey’s guests,” he said, “so I thought I’d see if anyone has any special requests for dinner.”
“We’re fine.” Dolly waved him away. “Ask the others.” As we waited for the doors to close, she saw him take in the flowers. “Have you ever seen so many? All for my Moti. From Nikos.”
His head shot around, the question in his eyes unanswered as the doors slid shut and obscured him from my view.
“It says he wants to make up for our last date. He’s arranged a private lunch for us tomorrow.” I put the card back in its envelope and moved the bouquet aside.
“I know what it says. I already read it.” Dolly flitted around the cabin. “I had to know the minute they started bringing them in. I’d given up, you know. Two more nights until the wedding. It’s not as if you got to spend much time with Nikos, but whatever you did, it worked. Oh, Moti.” She fell on me again, hugging me like her life depended on it.
To be fair, she believed it did. If Ma Anga was right, me getting together with Nikos was Dolly’s lifeline and she was grabbing on to it with both hands.
“Did you message him back? Did he say what time?”
“Ma…” I extracted myself from her arms. “I can’t.”
“Can’t what?” She looked puzzled. “I know you’re nervous, beti, but it will pass. Chalo, what are you going to wear? It’s too bad you can’t fit into any of Isabelle’s clothes. You know the dress she wore when—”
“Did you hear what I said? I’m not meeting Nikos for lunch. I’m going to message him right now.”
“Have you lost your mind?” Dolly snatched my phone away. “What’s gotten into you?”
I struggled for a moment. How could I explain to her the fresh imprint of Alex’s kisses? The way his words, his touch, his smile sank into my soul?
The chef’s gotten into me, Ma. Literally.
“What are you smiling about?” Dolly was starting to lose her patience. “Moti, what is going on with you?”
Normally, I would have dodged, avoided, or diverted any kind of conflict with Dolly, but I pressed on. “I can’t see Nikos because I’m seeing someone else.”
“Someone else?” She scoffed. “How is that even possible? Nikos was all you could think about when we left Chicago. You’re just getting cold feet. A chance like this, with a man like that—it’s not something that happens every day. You need to snap out of it or you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. Now, let’s go down to your room and pick out something to wow Nikos. I think—”
“For Christ’s sake, I’m not ten years old. I don’t need you to dress me. And I’m not sleeping there anymore. Captain Bailey asked me to move back here with you.”
“She did? But Rachel and Joseph still haven’t made up. I’m so tired of all their drama, tired of listening to Rachel go on and on about…” She paused and sat next to me. “You know what? Who cares? This is more important. You’re finally living up to all the dreams I have for you.” She drew me to her side, stroking my hair with a smile. “My beautiful beti. You’ve made me so happy. I can’t even begin to tell you how proud I am of you.”
I blinked back the sudden tears threatening to spill over. All my life I’d tried to win Dolly over. I tried to be smarter, leaner, neater, quicker. To mold myself into what she wanted me to be. Most of the time, the voice in my head wasn’t even mine. It was Dolly’s. But Dolly herself always remained unreachable. Until now.
“Ma…” I took her hands and held them on either side of my face. “Do you see me?”
For a second, as I looked into my mother’s eyes, we connected. Then I saw the panic, the shutters coming down, the walls coming up and I was on the other side again. You’d think it would get easier, but it cut just as deep every time.
“It’s not about me, is it?” I let go with a sad smile. “It’s about what I do to make you happy.”
“Of course not.” She stood up in an instant. “I only want what’s best for you. You and Nikos are meant to be. I don’t understand why you can’t just—”
“Fine.” It was pointless fighting Dolly on it. She’d hold it over my head for eternity. If anything happened to her, I’d always have the niggling doubt that I could have prevented it. “I’ll do it. I’ll meet Nikos for lunch tomorrow, but after that, I’m done. No more living with the weight of Ma Anga’s predictions. Promise me, Ma.”
“Okay, okay. You’ve come this far, no? You think it’s just coincidence?” She handed my phone back. “Ask him what time.” She peered over my shoulder while I got in touch with Nikos.
“Noon,” I said when he messaged back. “He’s arranged for someone to take me ashore, and then we’ll return together.”
“How romantic. I’m so excited for you!”
I bit my tongue. Nothing was going to happen between Nikos and me. In fact, damn him and his three thumbs. Why’d he have to go and make a big show by sending me a gazillion flowers?
“I’ll go get my things from the crew quarters.” I tossed my phone aside and stood.
“I’ll be right here.” Dolly hummed as she went from bouquet to bouquet, fluffing up the flowers.
Walking into the hallway, I noticed something reflecting the pot-lights on the thickly carpeted floor. I picked up a pair of silver keys held together by a generic key ring. They were smaller than the cabin keys, with no tags or markings. My fingers tingled as I held them. A pair of orphan keys. They could belong to any door. They could unlock any possibility. I felt a momentary rush of invincibility and the uneasiness in my bones dissolved. After being caught off-guard by Captain Bailey, Dolly, and Nikos, I clutched the keys, feeling strangely empowered.
I had just pocketed them when Teri stepped out of the suite next to the elevator. Her eyes were red and puffy, like she’d been crying a long time. She blinked when she saw me. Then she ducked back inside and shut the door.
“Teri?” I knocked softly. “Are you okay?”
“Fine,” came her muffled reply. “I just got some shampoo in my eyes.”
“Can I get you anything?” I waited a few seconds. “Teri?”
I stood outside her door a couple of minutes before I heard the water running. She’d either stepped into the shower again or was trying to get rid of me.
I took the elevator to the crew quarters and slipped inside Alex’s cabin. Relief engulfed me in the small, windowless chamber. It was quiet down here, away from everyone’s issues and emotions and agendas. But it was time to get back to reality.
I retrieved the clear plastic bag stashed under my bed and added the keys to my collection of knickknacks: The Three of Spades, a ping-pong ball, a champagne glass, an hourglass with yellow sand…
I dug into my pocket. There was one more memento.
It was a lock of Alex’s hair, from his hair cut with Vasilis. It was dry now, dark as a raven’s wing.
A sharp rap on the door. “Hello? Anyone there?”
“Just a minute.” I slipped Alex’s hair into the bag and sealed it shut again. Then I kicked it under the bed and opened the door.
It was Hannah, and like Teri, her eyes were red and puffy, like she’d been crying a long time.
What the hell?
“I’m glad I caught you,” she said. “Captain Bailey asked me to see if your bags were ready to bring up.”
“It’s just one bag. I don’t need any help with it. Are you okay?”
“Oh, this?” Hannah pointed to her face. “It’s nothing. Just a slight allergic reaction to all the flowers that came for you.”
“You’re allergic to flowers?”
“Something about these ones. I helped carry them inside, so I must be.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it.” She sniffed. “I’ll be fine. Are you sure you’ll ma
nage on your own?”
“Yes, thanks.” I started to shut the door but paused. “Hey, did Captain Bailey speak to Rachel Auntie about the accommodations or is she still with Ken and Judy?”
“They left a little while ago. Your aunt will use the Captain’s suite, and Captain Bailey will bunk here with Chef Alexandros. It’s just for tonight and tomorrow, then everyone will disembark in Hydra, so don’t feel too bad about it.”
If Captain Bailey had shared her concerns about Alex and me with Hannah, the Chief Steward was giving no indication.
“If there’s nothing else, I’ll get going.” She gave me a small nod, still red-eyed and red-nosed, and took off.
I gathered my things and zipped up my bag.
But I couldn’t leave.
The question in Alex’s eyes haunted me. I couldn’t leave without letting him know how I felt. I grabbed a notepad and started scribbling.
Captain Bailey asked me to stay away from you.
I don’t want you to get into any more trouble, so if I avoid you, it’s not because of Nikos or his flowers.
I’m meeting him tomorrow. It sucks, but it can’t be avoided.
I need you to know that.
I need you to know I’ve never been happier than the time I spent with you.
I drew three heart-eye emojis and slipped the note under his pillow.
My eyes swept over the room and I saw Alex dropping his clothes that first night before he realized I was in the room—his hair tumbling around his shoulders, his naked silhouette outlined against the bathroom light.
Alex, dangling my bra on his finger. I get in the shower and your bra bitch-slaps me in the face.
His jaw hanging open, watching me gyrate against the frame of the bathroom door.
I could hear our voices in the dark.
Alex?
I’m listening…
I stood in silence for a few minutes, soaking in the echoes.
Then I clicked the door shut and left.
It was much cooler in the guest suite than the crew’s quarters and I reached for another blanket. Dolly snored softly beside me. I stared at the ceiling, wishing I was looking at the bottom of Alex’s bunk bed. Too restless to sleep, I tiptoed out of the room and clicked the door shut.
