The Single Mums' Book Club

by Victoria Cooke

  He waves a dismissive hand. ‘It’s nothing. You gave me tea and biscuits so call it even.’

  I look at him for a moment. I’m uncomfortable about not paying for his time but arguing about it would be awkward too. The best thing I can do is accept gracefully.

  ‘Thank you so much. I didn’t expect a freebie.’

  ‘You’re part of the Prescott vet family now.’

  My chest swells as I see him out and then go and let Otis into the back garden for a wee. When I come back inside, the house is cold and empty again. How can one man have filled it up so much?

  Chapter 16

  ‘How was Center Parcs?’ I ask Janey, who’s decorating a birthday cake for herself, really badly. Tom and Seren keep running in and out with random requests and despite it only being Tuesday teatime, I can sense she’s already had enough of half-term.

  ‘Hell. I could have gone to the Caribbean for the price we paid and the kids spent the entire time splashing me in the swimming pool and riding their bikes so fast that I couldn’t keep up.’

  I chuckle. ‘So, no time in the spa then?’

  ‘Not a chance. My friend’s husband got sick so ended up in bed for the weekend and Jimmy didn’t come so it was a relentless kid fest. The only bit of peace I got was when I snuck outside to neck the leftover crumbs from the Pringles tube.’

  ‘Is everything okay between you two? You and Jimmy, I mean.’ I don’t mean to pry but I’m sensing something is off.

  ‘Oh, yes. Jimmy is Jimmy.’ She bats her hand through the air. ‘AWOL Jimmy.’

  ‘Has he always been like that?’

  She pauses and looks at the spoon in her hand before shrugging. ‘Life changes when you have kids, doesn’t it?’

  My inner voice is screaming ‘no’ but who am I to talk? Mike wasn’t exactly husband of the year and if he hadn’t left, I’d still be with him now. I do want to probe further. Janey is obviously more unhappy than she’s letting on, but it doesn’t seem like the right time. ‘At least your friend’s husband managed to get some rest on holiday.’

  ‘I also managed to spend a gazillion pounds on food; hence making my own cake.’ She licks icing off the spatula she’s brandishing in the general direction of the cake. ‘What do you think?’

  ‘Is it the Leaning Tower of Pisa?’ I ask, taking in the white slanted monstrosity. Although, I’ve no idea what the green blob at the top is.

  ‘It’s a margarita,’ she says drily.

  I squint at it. ‘Oh yes!’

  ‘Don’t lie. It’s crap. In hindsight, I should have put a proper margarita glass on top. Cakes are not my forte.’

  ‘You shouldn’t be making your own.’

  ‘I don’t mind. I wouldn’t get one otherwise and the kids expect it.’ She puts the spatula down. ‘I know what you’re thinking. Jimmy is a worthless husband. But he hasn’t always been like this. He works really hard so I don’t have to and he gets tired. When the kids start secondary school, I’ll get a job and maybe he can cut his hours down a bit.’

  ‘Do you ever do things together? As a couple?’ I’ve only known Janey for four weeks or so but she’s never mentioned spending time with anyone but the children.

  ‘No, there’s never any time for that.’

  ‘Well make some time. I’ll have the kids over for a sleepover on Friday and you and Jimmy can go out for dinner.’

  She frowns. ‘I’m not sure he’d even want to.’

  ‘Well ask him instead of waiting for him to,’ I say, surprising myself with how direct I sound. ‘For all you know, he could be thinking the exact same thing about you. Maybe he thinks you’re happy.’

  She looks up, pondering this. ‘Maybe I will. Anyway, what did you get up to this weekend?’

  ‘Not much. I bumped into Amanda on the field when I was walking Otis the other day.’

  ‘Oh right. Did she have much to say?’

  ‘She was just really grateful for the book club. She thought maybe you were a bit miffed at her book choice so she was worried about that.’

  ‘I’m quite into it now.’

  ‘Good, maybe you can put her mind at rest when we meet next week.’

  ‘I will! So was that the highlight of your weekend then?’

  ‘I had an episode with Otis on Saturday night. He ate something and got sick so I had to call Edward.’

  ‘He’s the vet?’ she says, still trying to smooth the buttercream icing near the base of the leaning tower of margarita.

  I nod. ‘He came out and checked Otis over.’

  She stops icing to look up and wiggle her eyebrows at me. ‘On Saturday night?’

  ‘Yes. It’s nothing strange, just an out-of-hours service.’

  ‘What’s he like – this vet?’

  ‘He’s really nice. Couldn’t ask for a better boss really.’

  ‘Is he older, younger, gorgeous, Shrek-like? Come on!’

  ‘I think he’s a similar age to me. It’s hard to tell because he dresses like he’s from All Creatures Great and Small.’

  She snorts.

  ‘He’s caring with the animals and has a good sense of humour.’

  ‘He sounds great. Is he single?’

  ‘I don’t know but you’re not.’

  Janey gives me a sideways glance and then bursts out laughing. ‘I meant for you, you numpty.’

  ‘For me? I don’t want to date anyone.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because …’

  Janey folds her arms. ‘Hmm? You’ve just sorted my love life out so don’t shy away now.’

  ‘Because I’ve just got over a divorce and I’m adjusting.’

  ‘I was going to make a crude comment then, but I suppose you’re right.’

  ‘I just need to keep things stable for the kids before I think about who is or isn’t single. Besides that, I’m not sure how Mike would react to me meeting someone else. If he started being arsey, it would be a nightmare. Things are only just civil as it is.’

  ‘I get it. So anyway, what do you think?’ She presents the finished cake with her hands. Aesthetically speaking, it’s terrible.

  ‘Looks delicious,’ I say.

  Chapter 17

  A few days later, I’m at work plodding through. I miss the kids even though they FaceTime me every day. I still find it hard to understand how it all came to this. Passing the children back and forth between myself and the man I vowed to spend my entire life with. I’m not sad about it anymore. All my tears have been shed on the matter. I just don’t quite know how I got here. The shrill of the phone breaks my thoughts. Carly isn’t here, obviously, so I answer.

  ‘Hello, Prescott’s Veterinary Surgery.’

  ‘Hi … I have an emergency … it’s my dog …’ The female caller’s voice is broken by hitched breathing and sobs.

  ‘Okay, please take a deep breath and try to remain calm,’ I say, copying what Edward said to me – it’s my first emergency call. ‘Please can you tell me what seems to be wrong?’

  She draws deep breath. ‘She’s in labour and the first pup was born about two hours ago. She seemed fine for a while after and we just thought she had a natural delay between pups but after an hour, she started to seem distressed. We’ve tried to keep her calm and look for an obstruction or something but she’s bleeding heavily now and I don’t want to move her to bring her in. Can the vet come out soon?’

  I check the time. Edward is operating on a dog with a tumour but he’s been in there a while and I’m sure he’s finished. ‘I will go and check. I’ll call you back in a few minutes.’

  I take the lady’s name and number down and end the call. As I do so, Carly comes in. ‘That was an emergency. I need to see if Edward can make an urgent home visit. Can you man the phone?’ I say, handing her the note. I don’t wait for her reply as I head through the examination room towards the operating room.

  ‘Edward, I’m so sorry to barge in. There’s an emergency. It’s …’ As my eyes home in on him, I notice the blood. It’s
all over his apron and gloves and the nurse, Helen, who is holding a bloody mass of tissue or flesh. I retch and my head starts to spin but I’m not sick; instead my knees wobble and my brain tingles and then everything turns to black.

  ***

  The light is bright white.

  My eyes flicker, trying to open, but the light just burns them. It’s like when my science teacher used to ignite magnesium and warn us not to look. The warning served only to compel us to peek despite the risk of irreversible retina damage. I’m sure this light is much less dangerous to the eyes.

  ‘You’re awake,’ a male voice soothes.

  ‘Edward?’ I blink a few times as he comes into focus. For some reason, I’m on the floor in the operating room. ‘Did I faint?’

  ‘A little bit,’ he says.

  I look at my arms and scream. They’re stained with something sticky and crimson and a wave of nausea attacks me once more.

  ‘I’m sorry about that. I reached out and grabbed you when you started to fall. We were just about to clean up.’ He starts to remove his gloves and apron then I remember what I came in for.

  ‘The emergency—’

  ‘It’s okay, it’s in hand. Carly called back to say I’m on my way. You’ve only been out a few minutes.’ He stands by the sink and scrubs his hands and arms as Helen tends to the dog on the operating table, who is just coming around. ‘You came in as I’d finished stitching her up – Helen was disposing of the tumour.’

  The word makes me retch again. ‘Sorry, here I’ll help you up.’ His shirtsleeves are rolled up exposing some strong-looking forearms. Without his usual tweed jacket on, I notice how the cotton fabric of his shirt strains a little around his bicep and for a moment, I can’t tear my eyes away. I expect him to offer me a hand, but instead, he scoops me up in his arms. My head whirls around a myriad of feelings. Fear and nausea; the metallic scent of blood still lingering in my nostrils, excitement – I’ve been swept up in the strong arms of a man – and extreme self-consciousness; I’m wearing a skirt and it’s been a week since I last considered shaving my legs – even then I don’t think I actually did. Aside from all of that is the uncomfortable, tingly heat that’s spreading from each of the points where Edward’s body touches mine. A few awkward moments later, he places me on the steel table in the examination room. I flinch at the coldness.

  ‘Sorry,’ he says again but he’s distracted because he’s studying my face. ‘How are you feeling now?’

  ‘Like a prize idiot,’ I say, adding a small laugh at the end.

  ‘Don’t be embarrassed. It happens to us all.’

  ‘Does it?’ I imagine so. All that blood and gore must turn a fair few trainee vets faint.

  ‘Not really.’ He gives a mischievous wink. ‘If you’re sure you’re okay, I need to dash.’

  ‘Of course – you go!’

  His eyes linger on mine for a moment then he gives a small nod, grabs his jacket and bag then disappears out of the door. I sit for a while just looking around the room and down at the table I’m sitting on in a state of disbelief. I’ve never liked blood but I haven’t fainted before, nor has a man ever had to carry me like a newborn baby. Helen interrupts my live stream of shame when she comes in with a cup of tea and plate of biscuits.

  ‘This will make you feel better,’ she says, handing me the steaming mug. ‘The operating theatre isn’t for everyone.’

  ‘Evidently,’ I say before taking a sip of the tea. I wince at the sweetness.

  ‘The sugar will help,’ Helen says, picking up on my reaction. She natters on about the first operation she ever witnessed and tells me I can go home if I like but once I’ve had a biscuit and the tea is half drunk, I feel fine and to be honest, I’m sort of hoping Edward comes back. I want to apologise for bursting into theatre – I really don’t think I’m allowed to do that. I just panicked.

  For some reason, my mind drifts to Edward a lot throughout the afternoon. I can’t stop thinking about him: how calm he was in a crisis, how safe I felt in his arms and the concern in his eyes. I catch myself wondering if he’s married and what he does in his spare time. Things I shouldn’t even care about. When I asked him if he has kids, it was spontaneous. Whether he had them or not didn’t matter, I just wondered because I’d been yapping on about mine. If he did, we could have talked about the usual problems or funny stories; if he didn’t, I knew to shut up. Now here I am wondering whether he’s single. It’s partly Janey’s fault but also his for picking me up in those arms of his.

  ‘So …’ I turn to Carly who is reading something on her phone. ‘I feel like I don’t know you very well. Tell me about yourself.’

  She looks at me like I’ve asked in a foreign language and it occurs to me that I haven’t really spoken to her much, other than to ask where something is on the computer. Oh well, it’s done now, even if the words are hanging in the air like burning sage.

  ‘Er, I live with my boyfriend in those flats near the Co-op,’ she starts. I rest my head on my hand, nodding along like she’s doing a dramatised retelling of Gone Girl or something.

  I’m still nodding when I realise she’s stopped talking. ‘Oh, great,’ I say.

  ‘We have a teenager, as you know and we’re going to Málaga in the summer.’

  ‘Wonderful,’ I say smiling. ‘I just feel like I’ve been here weeks now and don’t know anything about you and Helen, or Edward for that matter.’

  I think that came across as nonchalant.

  ‘Er, well Helen wears her heart on her sleeve and Edward is one of those what you see is what you get sort of people. He’s a workaholic. I’m pretty sure when he goes home he just carries on doing vet stuff.’

  ‘Vet stuff,’ I repeat like it fascinates me.

  ‘Yeah, well, I’m not sure. He doesn’t talk about his home life unless he’s had a call-out. Like when he came to you on Saturday.’

  I tense. Is it weird that she knows about our Saturday tea and biscuit session? ‘Ahh, yes. He was great with Otis.’

  ‘I don’t think he has anyone really, like friends and stuff. He never seems to go out.’

  ‘Isn’t he married?’ I do ‘flippantly’ really well here, so well, in fact, I’ll be expecting my shiny golden man trophy in the post sometime soon.

  She shakes her head. ‘No, I don’t think so. He goes out with a woman in the village called Stacy. I don’t know how serious things are but if he’s ever going out, it’s usually with her.’

  ‘Hmm.’ I have nothing to say really. I have the information I somehow craved, I just need to move on. ‘So, does your teenager like school?’

  I wince as soon as I realise I’ve put my foot in it.

  ***

  I thought my curiosity was satisfied, but it seems that now I have this burning desire to find out more about Stacy from the village. Because the town where Prescott’s vet’s is located is tiny, I keep my ear to the ground every time I’m popping into the Co-op or the newsagent’s but by the time I leave work on Friday, I’m none the wiser. I treat myself to a Chinese takeaway and plate it up at home. As the smell of soy sauce fills my nostrils, my stomach groans in anticipation.

  Removing my phone from my pocket, I open the Facebook app where I go onto the vet’s page. There are over eight hundred people, who ‘like’ it, including Janey, who I know is just trying to check Edward out. Facebook should let you filter the list of ‘likers’ so the Facebook stalkers can get on with things but of course, they don’t, so I have to scroll through all eight hundred plus names.

  The first photograph is of a dalmatian with thirty-three likes. I click the blue circle with the white ‘thumbs up’.

  ‘Bingo!’ A list of people who liked the photograph comes up so I scroll through. No Stacy unfortunately. As I’m scrolling, a message pops up on the screen. It’s Janey.

  Hi hon, thanks for the offer but no need to babysit tonight. X

  That’s odd, she seemed up for it yesterday. I text her back asking if she’s okay and when she doesn’t
reply, make a mental note to ask again when she comes over tomorrow for our book club meeting.

  I try a few more doggy pics that produce nothing of interest but then, I come across a photo of Edward. He’s standing proudly outside his practice holding a red cocker spaniel and the photo has eighty ‘likes’. If she asks him out every week as Janey says, she’s bound to be one of them unless she lives in a cave and doesn’t have Facebook of course.

  ‘Yes!’ I fist-pump the air. I’ve found her. I click the tiny thumbnail of her face, which takes me to her page. It’s set to private but I can see her profile picture. She’s not at all what I expected. I expected a sophisticated brunette in expensive jodhpurs and a crisp blouse. Without being judgemental or stereotypical, it seems Stacy is a fan of the more revealing outfit and seems quite proud of her ample bosom. Her blonde hair is big and fluffy; it almost reaches her waist and she’s doing that pouty face that the boomers missed by a mile, most Gen X avoid like the plague and a lot of millennials are still on the fence about. Picturing her neon skin-tight dress next to Edward’s tweed hurts my eyes even through the power of imagination. They’d look quite a sight in real life. Still, if that’s his thing, that’s his choice.

  Curiosity status: Enhanced.

  Chapter 18

  The kids came home today. Having missed them like crazy, I squeezed them and showered them in kisses and got through a good ten minutes before they completely destroyed the house. Now, I’m running around like a headless chicken trying to tidy up before Janey and Amanda get here. I’ve entrusted Ava with putting on her own pyjamas and Ralph to have a shower, which just leaves Henry who’s a sticky mess and in dire need of a bath but the bath is a whole palaver with toys and bubbles and I usually end up as wet as he does. In the end I fill the sink with warm water and dunk him in there.

  With ten minutes to spare, I manage to get everyone in bed. I even get the chance to run around with a hoover and pour myself a glass of Sauvignon Blanc.

  ‘Hi,’ I say, hugging Janey when she arrives.

  ‘Read the book so I think I deserve one of them,’ she says, gesturing towards my glass of wine.