"I'm sorry to hear you had a bad day. And hello, Marie. How are you?"
"I'm great! Just being eaten by puppies!" She giggles and Joe offers his hand to help her to her feet.
He then pulls me to mine and looks around. "You know you have to put all these pups away if a lot of customers come in."
"I know. I’m moving them to the pen now.” I scoop a tiny Yorkie off the floor and plop him in a tear down pen I suggested for near the door. This way customers can pet the dogs and watch them play, while the dogs get a little exercise. Marie follows with a fluffy black Pomeranian.
"I know you do." Joe looks almost sad but before I can ask him if anything was wrong Leo comes out of the back carrying a large cardboard box and Joe hurries over to hold the front door for him. I push the thought away for later and continue grabbing puppies.
“So, what’s new here?” Marie asks as she looks all around the store after setting the last dog in the pen.
“Well it doesn’t look like we have anything new from this week. Actually, it’s really cleared out in here. They must have made a lot of sales while I was off yesterday.”
“Oh well, that just means there’s plenty of room now for new animals. I hope they get some more rabbits soon. Those things are so darn cute!” She walks over to the rabbit pen and pets one of the few remaining ones.
“Of all the exotic animals in here you like a plain old rabbit.” I laugh to myself.
The bells on the door ring as a customer walks in and I click into work mode. She looks around appearing lost, so I walk up to her. “Can I help you with something?”
Her shoulders relax and she smiles, grateful for my offer. “I sure hope so. My son asked me to pick up some crickets for his bearded dragon. He usually comes in to get them himself, but he’s been feeling sick, so I volunteered to pick up some, but I have no clue what I need.”
I smile. “That’s okay, I’ll get you a couple dozen to give to your son. They’re only a dollar a dozen.”
“That’s great! Thank you so much!”
I begin walking to the back room where we keep the crickets and feeder mice. Marie calls out to me from the door, “Since you’re working now, I’m going to get out of your hair and head to class. Do you want me to pick you up tonight when you get off?”
“No, I close so I’ll have one of the guys drop me off.” I wave and start bagging crickets.
CHAPTER NINE
As my shift begins to wind down, I look out the window into the night. The street is empty like the shop. I love working until closing. It’s usually when the guys are in the best mood and when the joking really starts. Half the time I end up in some cage with an animal. It sounds mean but it’s all in fun.
I finish sweeping my pile of dirt and dog hair into a dustpan and put the broom away. When I walk to the counter, instead of being greeted with laughter, it’s uncharacteristically quiet. Joe opens the cash register and hands me an envelope.
“What’s this?” I open the envelope to find a few twenty dollar bills.
“It’s your pay for this week.” He doesn’t look at me when he answers.
“But it’s Friday. You have always paid on Mondays.” I go to hand the envelope back, but Joe shakes his head.
“You won’t be working here anymore after today.”
“What?” For a moment my thoughts fly apart. What have I done wrong? I go through everything in my mind that I’ve done today. Nothing stands out as wrong but there must be something. Something worth firing me over. I was being fired, wasn’t I?
Joe, Leo, and Dwayne just stand silently. What did I do?
“Is this because I let the puppies out?” It’s an irrational thought but right now I am irrational. “I mean, I only did it so they could get some exercise, I feel sad that they’re caged up all the time, but I don’t have to do that anymore, really, I’ll leave them in their cages and -”
“Katie, calm down.” Joe’s voice is soft and level like he’s rehearsed that very line a hundred times.
“How can I calm down when you’re firing me, and I have no clue why?” Tears form in my eyes, but I refuse to cry in front of these guys.
“I’m not firing you. Katie, we can’t keep the shop open here anymore. It’s become too expensive. There are not enough people here to buy things to equal the expenses of keeping the shop open. I’m going to Baltimore where my brother lives. He told me about a building for rent for the shop and he is going to give me a place to stay until I find my own.”
Through all this I stay quiet, unbelieving. I look at Leo and Dwayne. How are they not upset? This is all they do. What will they do without the pet shop? I look back at Joe. “Who’s going to work for you if you don’t have us?”
Joe takes a deep breath but before he can respond, Dwayne speaks up, “We’re going with him.”
“What?” For the second time tonight, the air rushes out of my lungs and my brain stops working properly.
“Katie, we swear it’s nothing against you, but we don’t have anything tying us here, no college, no family, no other jobs. Other than a few friends, including you, we won’t be leaving much behind. Joe is really going to need us.”
Leo walks over and throws his arm around my shoulders. “We hate leaving you, but you have school. You’re going to do great things with your life. Don’t let this bring you down. It’s not like you’ll never see us again. That’s what breaks are for, long car trips. “
“How can you guys do this?” The tears slip out now and I can’t help but act petty. “Don’t you see what this place means to me? I come here all the time, even when I don’t have work scheduled. This place makes my bad days better. Look at today. I had a bad test in Calculus. I was so upset but as soon as I got here, I felt so much better. I forgot all about it.” Until now.
I try to think of an alternative. I’m majoring as a veterinary technician because all my life I’ve wanted to work with animals, but who says I need a degree to do that? Finding this job has shown me it’s everything I want. I allow myself to think of the possibility of going with them. Would having a job make the disappointment of dropping out of college less drastic for my family? Would I be seen as a failure? Even as I play with the idea in my mind, I know I couldn’t do it. My life is here. Here with my parents and Scotty. I couldn’t imagine packing up and leaving them behind.
Joe watches the waves of emotions filter across my face. “We know how much you care about this place and the animals here. And I’m sorry to hear about your test.” He pauses to dig out a pack of tissues from behind the counter and hands them to me. “But we’re not making money here. We’re losing money. We can’t stay open if we don’t have the money to take care of the animals.”
“But this is my job. I need the money. Isn’t there something else you can try?” I try to grasp at anything I can to change his mind.
Joe gives a sympathetic smile. I know he can see right through me. “You know I don’t pay that much. You were never here for the money. There are other places in town that are hiring, and they can pay you more than I could. And, if it helps, you can come help us pack. We’re closing next week to the public but seeing your face will make it a little less somber.”
“I can come help, but a new job won’t be the same.” I know I sound whiny but it’s not fair.
“I know.” Joe comes from around the counter and wraps his arms around me. It’s strange. He’s never been a comforting type to me, but I collapse into the embrace. “The shop won’t be the same without you either.” We stand in silence for a long time. I try to process everything that is happening, but it only makes me feel sad. Joe finally moves to switch off the lights. “Do you want us to drive you back or is Marie coming to pick you up?”
“I think I want to walk myself back.” My voice is flat, and I feel empty.
“We can’t let you do that. It’s dark and that’s dangerous.” Dwayne fishes his keys from his jacket pocket.
“No, I’ll be okay. It’s only a mile to campus. I’l
l send you a text letting you know I made it back. The fresh air will help clear my head.” And I need the solitude to relieve the growing pain inside that is threatening to tear me apart.
Reluctantly, he puts his keys back. “Alright. Don’t forget to text and be careful.”
“I will.” I hug each of the guys in turn. I am really going to miss them.
Once out the door the full force of my day hits me. Things are happening too fast. I walk along the quiet street wondering what I’ve been afraid of all this time. The sound of my lone footsteps on the sidewalk along with the distant traffic on main street is the only thing piercing the night. Previous fears of a mugger emerging from a shadows and holding me at gunpoint doesn’t even bring goosebumps.
I slip into the darkness of an alleyway and pull my pocketknife out. I know this is becoming more frequent and that I should stop, but it seems to be the only thing that can reign in my out of control emotions. They’ve never been this strong before.
I prick the tip of my left ring finger. The skin has grown increasingly sensitive in the past few weeks from meeting my knife point so often. My emotions appear numb to the pain, so I press harder. Still nothing. I pull the blade downwards creating a small cut. I felt that.
A new idea comes to me. I pull the sleeve of my hoodie up past my elbow and look at the soft flesh of my forearm. I place the blade against my skin and pull it down toward my wrist. I watch the blood run down my arm after I move the blade away. I wince but it doesn’t hurt that bad. Mostly it feels like the cap of a shaken soda popping off. I take a couple deep breaths. Things are going to be fine. I am in control.
I pull a tissue from the packet Joe gave me and wipe the blood from the new cut.
CHAPTER TEN
Once back in my room I throw myself on my mattress. Marie sits propped up on her bed, typing on her computer. She looks over at me in my collapsed state. “Hey, Katie, tough day at work?”
I sit up and give her a halfhearted smile. “Yeah, it was different today.”
“How so?” She asks with a casualness, but I feel backed into a corner.
“Umm… it was more work and not really much joking around.” I strategically keep my eyes averted from her gaze by texting Dwayne informing him I was back in my room.
“Oh, well at least you had animal time. You needed it.” She grins, appearing proud of herself for being able to help.
“Yeah, it’s been nice being at the store,” I mumble, and Marie goes back to watching the screen on her lap. She doesn’t hear the underlying message in my words. She doesn’t know that work didn’t relieve my stress but added to it. She doesn’t know that my stress relief isn’t there for me anymore.
My decision to not tell her was last minute. I don’t want to drag her into another one of my downward spirals. I don’t want her to have to take care of me like I’m a helpless child anymore. All I want is to talk to Scotty. He’ll know what to say to make me feel better.
I try to wait patiently, squirming to get comfortable, knowing he will call any minute. He always does. I reach for my phone and as I’m about to speed dial him my phone lights up and plays the chorus to Collide by Howie Day.
“Hello?” My voice comes out a little too anxious, but I can’t deny I’m happy to hear from him. Marie has her headphones on and the sound up so loud that I can hear it, so I take advantage of her distraction to stay in bed.
“Hey, Katie.” His voice is soft.
“You couldn’t have called at a more perfect time Scotty.” I begin to arrange my long overdue story in my head.
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“I’ve had an absolutely terrible day.” I try to mentally prepare myself to tell him all the things I’ve been keeping to myself for too long.
“Yeah, I did too.”
“Really? Wow that’s strange. I’m sorry, Scotty.” I take a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “Mine started when-”
“Wait. You’re not going to ask about my day? Are you not concerned at all?” The sincerity in his voice from earlier is completely gone, replaced with pure malice.
I am momentarily shocked at this wave of anger from him. “I... yes I was going to ask. I just thought I’d tell you about mine and get it out of the way then listen to yours.”
“You can be so self-centered sometimes. You know that, Katie?”
“What? Why are you being so hateful?” Why is he speaking to me so condescendingly? I know he’s been having these moods lately like I’ve been too emotional, and I should try to calm him down, but I have no control over myself.
“I’m being hateful, am I? Because I want to get some stress of my chest? Just forget I asked what’s wrong. I’ll call back later. Bye, Kathryn.”
“Good -” The phone clicks, “bye...?”
What just happened? Why is he so angry? Why am I so emotional? What is wrong with me? What is wrong with him? I thought we were doing better since his last outburst.
Something serious must have happened to him today to upset him so much. I need to apologize when he calls back and try to get to the bottom of this.
As soon as I lay down my phone there’s a knock at the door. I know exactly who it is, and as much as a part of me wishes it wasn’t him, another part of me, a new part that doesn’t seem to think straight and that I don’t really understand, is glad he’s here.
Marie looks up from her computer, sighs, then slides out of bed. I guess she can hear with the sound up that loud. She gathers up her computer and her phone and heads for the door.
“Marie, you don’t have to go. I’m not running you out of the room.” I try to reassure her to stay but she levels a look of disapproval at me. It’s a look that I’m beginning to see more and more.
“Yes, I think I do, Katie. You need to figure this out. I keep my opinions from him for your sake, but I have my limits. Ever since Matthew came back into your life, you’re not acting like yourself. The Katie I know isn’t a liar or a cheater. He’s changing you, and not for the better.”
I know she’s mad and I know she doesn’t approve of this, I don’t even approve of this, but I can’t stop.
She opens the door and steps around Matthew. He flashes her a smile. “Where’s the fire, speedy?”
She ignores him but yells back to me, “Text me if you need anything,” That’s Marie. She’s angry but she still cares.
Matthew shuts the door behind her and walks over to my bed. His unruly brown hair falls in his eyes. They’re green for now. I follow his cheek bones down to his mouth that is almost always fixed in a half smirk.
I still don’t know why he appeals to me as much as he does. When he’s around all my grounded down-to-Earth thinking goes out the window. I’m hypnotically drawn to him against all my better judgement.
He climbs onto the bed and pulls me onto his lap, and before the reasonable part of me can protest, his lips are on mine, soft but persistent.
Finally, he releases me, and my lungs struggle for air. That’s the way he is, capable of making me breathless with just one kiss. “How was your day?” He nuzzles my neck.
“What are you doing?” I push him back so he can see my face.
“You seem tense,” he says simply as he grazes his lips against my collarbone.
I slide off his lap and put a few feet of distance between us on the bed. “I asked you not to kiss me anymore. I thought you were okay with just being friends.”
“Middle school is over. No more of this BFF game. It’s time to grow up.” His voice is matter of fact, but my ears hear the words much harsher.
“So, you’ve been toying with me? All our talks have meant nothing?” I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to cry.
“I didn’t say that, but it was all getting a bit boring, even you must agree?” He lounges against my stacks of pillows as if waiting for me to come back into his arms.
“They weren’t boring to me, and I have questions. I didn’t want to ask them because I was afraid of the answers but now that I know how you
really feel. I don’t see why it should matter anymore.” I feel brave.
“Fire away.” Matthew studies his fingernails, unamused, which only fuels my anger.
“I don’t even know where to start. How about, did you talk to Marie like you said? Or why do your eyes change color, because I don’t remember them doing that when we were kids? What subject are you even studying because I’ve never seen you in class, or going to class, or doing homework?” I piece together the real question, but it comes out in a quieter voice. “What are you?”
“That’s enough questions, Katie Cat.” His voice drips with danger.
“I told you not to call me that.” I slide back on the bed again until my back hits the wall.
“Aw, come on, don’t you know how attractive it makes you sound?”
“I’m not attractive without a pet name?” I know I shouldn’t care what he thinks. I know he shouldn’t even be here with me, especially acting like this, but I can’t make him leave.
“Oh, you look pretty good to me.” He looks at me hungrily and I watch as his eyes mysteriously change from green to silver once again. I stare at them and he must take my silence as acceptance, because he grabs me and pulls me onto him again, kissing my neck. His mouth moves along my jaw and then stops at my ear to whisper, “Let’s see if we can make this kitty purr.” He nips at my ear lobe as he pushes me back onto the bed, climbing on top of me.
All my anger and accusations slip away as his mouth and hands continue to explore and I sigh his name. It feels like I am no longer on Earth, that I am no longer a part of this life. Everything else is gone and it’s just him and I. I have no thoughts of my failing grades, lost job, or stressful phone calls. There’s no room inside.
But then I hear something. It’s faint but familiar. As I focus on it, the sound becomes louder. It’s not just a sound, it’s a song. I sit up quickly, knocking Matthew back mid-kiss.
It’s Scotty’s ringtone.
Sacrificial Lamb (The Other Angels Book 1) Page 6
