Sacrificial Lamb (The Other Angels Book 1)

by Ashley Nicole

  However, my actions did get reported back to my employer. I’m a campus activity coordinator and good conduct is a requirement for the job. After a long talk I ended up keeping my job, but I lost my hours for the week.

  The biggest problem I faced that day was my mother. I am an art major, so my ideas of important classes are those art related, but my mother thinks differently. I’ll admit, my English grades could be better, but they’re not my main objective. She lectured me for two hours on how I needed to do better and try harder and get my priorities straight and blah blah blah. It was the biggest fight we’ve ever gotten into, especially since we’ve pulled together so close since Dad left.

  Anger surges through my veins and pushes my heartache out of the way. I stand up from my crumpled state and slam my fist into the side of my truck. The blow leaves a dent and my knuckles are bloodied. The pain shoots up my arm, but it doesn’t matter. I open the door and get in. Buckling my seatbelt doesn’t even cross my mind. Gravels fly as I spin out of the church parking lot. Speeding down the road I know I’m driving way too fast, but I don’t care. I want to outrun this. All of it. I want it all to disappear. I don’t want to think about Kevin, or Mom, or Katie. I push the gas pedal down closer to the floorboard and cut the turns as sharply as I can. A reckless feeling takes over me.

  I could escape it all for good. The next turn I approach at high speed. A guardrail hugs the road to create a barrier from the steep bank on its other side. Coming into the turn I jerk the wheel, but this time the truck jerks back. For a breathless moment there is nothing, no time, no sound. I am flying.

  The last thing I hear is an ear-splitting crash.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  At first everything is too bright, but the air is warm and a freshness so pure drapes over me in comfort like a cozy blanket.

  When the world starts to come into focus, I find myself staring up at a man.

  He is cloaked in a white robe with a golden sash and matching golden sandals. Huge white soft feathery wings extending from his back shimmer in the sunlight and floating above his head is a solid gold ring.

  A halo. An angel. I'm dead. And.... in Heaven?

  "Hello, Scott. Peace be with you. My name is Michael.” His full brown beard spreads up the sides of his face to his head where his hair falls back down to his shoulders.

  "How did I get here?" My thoughts slowly return to me as my eyes flit around trying to see everything at once. Behind Michael stands a large impressive gold gate. An actual golden gate. It doesn’t connect to anything, no fence or border. Just the gate sitting open and inviting. Leafy green trees and bushes dot the grassy field resembling a park.

  “You died in a car accident."

  I feel a twitch of anger brewing inside. "You and I both know it wasn’t an accident. I wanted to wreck. To disappear for good. But Katie. I hurt her. I don't belong here."

  "Of course, you do. Our record keepers never make a mistake. The guilt you put on yourself for Kathryn’s death is irrational."

  My focus snaps back to Michael's face the moment he says her name. His silver eyes stare into me. "Then who is to blame? I'm the one who broke her heart right? Pushed her over the edge? Surely you must know that since your record keepers are so perfect.” I let the malice drip into my mouth and coat my words.

  Sounds like you were given too much anger to handle. It will soon be replaced with peace and joy." Michael shakes his head as if I was a small child that asked a silly question.

  My irritation grows as he ignores my argument. "Did she make it to Heaven then? Or was she deemed unworthy by your corrupt sounding system?"

  "She's here." His gaze wanders past the gate, across a lake, and rests on a small table with a bright red umbrella shading it. I take an unsure step in that direction, but Michael throws his arm out stopping me from proceeding. "She doesn't know you anymore."

  Unwillingly I pull my gaze from Katie and level a glare at Michael. "What do you mean she doesn't know me anymore? What did you do to her?"

  "It's part of entering the Kingdom. All memories that are linked to dark emotions; sadness, anger, jealousy, greed; are erased, so you can begin a new life here. One full of only happiness. There are no dark emotions here and no way to stimulate or provoke them once you’ve entered yourself."

  "You brainwashed her?" All the heartache and anger from life apparently followed me into death and I can’t control it any longer. I swing my fist toward Michael's face, but where the impact should be there is only air. I stumble forward as the momentum throws me off balance. Michael's hands catch my shoulders and I steady myself. My back now faces the gate and I glare skeptically at the creature before me. I should have hit him. We’re standing so close. No way I missed.

  "There is no violence here either.” His constantly calm voice is starting to annoy me. "And we did not 'brainwash her. We gave her peace."

  "And what the hell is that supposed to mean?" My fists clench at my sides.

  "I've already told you. Those dark emotions were tied to the memory of you, therefore that memory is gone."

  "So, it is my fault she killed herself. You just confirmed that. So, you lied to me. I didn't know lying was allowed in Heaven.” I cross my arms and give him a smug look.

  My retort doesn’t faze him. "I did not lie to you. There are more reasons for why she ended her life. I did not say you were not one of them, only that you are not the only reason."

  "Sounds kind of deceiving to me. What other reasons? Tell me because I’d love to know I’m not her executioner." Despite my efforts to hide it, the curiosity slips into my voice. Ending the way we did I never found out what happened to Katie on the last day of her life.

  “Maybe you should have asked her that yourself when you had the chance.”

  That stung. That was a slap in the face with a mace dipped in lemon juice.

  Michael smiles at the discomfort he’s caused. "It does not matter. Once you cross into the Kingdom, your memory of her will be gone as well."

  "Yeah? And what happens if I don't want to go into your corrupt Kingdom?" I put Katie through hell, so that’s where I should be.

  "Everyone crosses into the Kingdom."

  I plant myself where I stand. "Well that stops now. I refuse. Send me to Hell or back to Earth. I don't care, but I can't stay here where she and I could be sitting across from each other and neither of us will remember the love we shared."

  "You would still have that love together on Earth if you hadn’t been so selfish."

  I throw my hands up. "Whoa, whoa, now you're judging me? I don't think it's your place to judge me. Isn't that God's job? Where is he? I want to talk to him about this."

  "Pass through the gate. God is in the Kingdom.” Michael's voice hovers over impatient but his face stays calm and relaxed. All except for his eyes. I didn't trust him for the angry gleam his eyes aren’t hiding so well anymore.

  "Can't you ask God to come here? I've always read that he is kind, patient, and understanding. I'm sure he’d help me if I asked. Being brainwashed isn’t something I’ve read in the Bible before, so I’d like to have him explain this to me."

  "That’s out of the question. You won’t see him, but you will pass through the gate.” Michael takes a step toward me. I refuse to accidentally step back too far so I stand my ground but not easily.

  "That sounds like a threat. I thought there was no violence here?" I begin to feel very uneasy. I have no idea what Michael can do to me since I’m already dead, but I don't want to find out.

  "Once you pass through the gate all acts of violence will be forgotten."

  Before I can question him or object again his hands spin me around so that I’m facing the gate and the meadow behind it then he shoves me so hard I stumble forward.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  For a disorienting moment, I blink rapidly and look around. Behind me, Michael stands smiling. Part of me wants to smile back, but another part of me that doesn’t make sense decides not to. So instead, I turn awa
y and continue taking everything in.

  The world before me is open. Vastly open. A giant meadow with the most lush, green grass sits in the middle of the rolling hills that stretch out as far as I can see. Here and there are deer and rabbits grazing among people on picnics. There are buildings placed sparsely about. Some look like little stone cottages and others look like shops with tables dotting their lawns.

  In the middle of the meadow is a lake. Its water refracts the sunlight like liquid diamonds. Out on the calm waters are all kinds of boats holding people who are laughing, reading, or simply relaxing.

  On the far end of the meadow are tables topped with brightly colored umbrellas. People sit at them, licking at ice cream cones or sipping on drinks. While glancing at the unfamiliar faces my eyes land on one girl. She sits alone, gazing out across the meadow away from my direction. She absentmindedly drops Skittles into an open bottle of Dr. Pepper.

  My mind is suddenly jerked into a memory. A memory of a world that is less bright and less peaceful. A similar scene is before me, except instead of a sunny meadow, I am standing on a sidewalk on a street lined with shops. Cars fly by on the road behind me and people bustle in and out of doors bundled in heavy jackets. The girl that now sits in front of me is faceless. Her blonde hair blows in an imaginary wind in such a way that masks her identity. But her quiet voice speaks clearly to me.

  "I just like the flavor."

  As quickly as I was pulled in, I am thrust out of the memory.

  Shaking my head, I try to call back the image, but I can’t see it as clearly as I had the first time. I don’t know the street I had been on and I can’t place the girl, but the connection between them suggested something. I just don’t know what.

  I look back at the girl at the umbrella table. She still isn't looking in my direction. I have a strange urge to talk to her, but I don't even know how to start that conversation.

  Oh hey, you remind me of this girl in a weird flashback I had but can't remember. Nice to meet you. Want to be friends?

  Frustration feels foreign inside of me, like it shouldn't be there. I turn back to Michael for help. "Who is she?" I look in the direction of the girl.

  "Her name is Kathryn."

  "How did she get here? She's so young.” I don't even remember how I died. Car crash?

  "She drowned. But she has no memory of it. It was a tragedy."

  "Her death would be a tragedy no matter how she died,” I mumble that more to myself than to Michael but then in a bit louder voice I address him again, "Can I talk to her?"

  “Of course. This place is meant for socializing. Especially here in the meadow."

  I nod and start walking around the lake. The sun is pleasantly warm, not hot, even though from the height and intensity it should be scorching out. A soft breeze blows gently through my hair and all around me. It’s quiet here other than the sounds of light conversation and laughter.

  As I near the umbrella tables a man comes out of one of the shops with a platter full of doughnuts. He’s short and pudgy, probably ate too many of his own pastries, and he has a full graying beard. "Welcome to the Kingdom! Have a doughnut! What’s your name? I'm Jacob!" He shoves the platter toward me and talks too fast.

  "Umm... I'm Scott.” I pick one of the sticky treats from his tray and give him a half smile. "Thanks."

  “Oh, you're welcome! Just remember I always have fresh goods here at my bakery!" He waddles off, popping a mini muffin in his mouth as he goes back into the shop.

  I look back at the girl, this time she's looking at me, but as soon as her eyes catch mine, she looks away. She must be shy. I approach her table. "Kathryn?" Her name is sweet on my lips.

  She looks up at me. Her warm brown eyes have an innocence to them that I'm sure was restored when she entered the Kingdom. "How do you know my name? Have we met?"

  "I'm not sure if we've met. I don't remember much of my life, but Michael told me your name because I asked." I pull the wooden chair out across from her and take a seat.

  "Why did you ask about me?" Her eyes widen. The simple shine in them reminds me of a baby deer’s hiding in the grass waiting for its mom to come back.

  "I was curious. You seemed familiar and I wanted to talk to you." I break my doughnut in half and offer her a piece.

  She accepts the treat but then softly shakes her head. "Familiar? I'm sorry but I really don't remember anything. Michael said I had a rough life before I died so he erased the memories so I could be happy here."

  "Doesn't that seem unfair to you?" I put my elbows on the table and lean in a little.

  "No. It's nice to have no worries and to only be happy." She licks the sugar from her fingertips which look extra red, but I can’t see why.

  I level her a skeptical look. "Are you happy? You're sitting here alone with Dr. Pepper and Skittles."

  She looks down at her candy filled drink and blushes. "I know it's weird but-"

  "You just like the flavor, right?" I finish and she looks at me in awe.

  "How did you know? Do you do this?"

  "No, but I think I knew someone who did." I lean back in my chair and try to recall who, but I can’t.

  "Well that person has good taste." A ghost of a smile plays on her lips. I smile too and we both relax. "And I am happy here, I'm just not much of a social butterfly."

  "You're as pretty as a butterfly.” As soon as it’s out, I want to take it back. It felt like such a natural response but I'm definitely going to scare her away.

  For an uncomfortable moment she sits there probably unsure what to say. To my relief, she brushes it off. "That was very cheesy, are you like that with everyone you meet?"

  "Definitely not..." My voice trails as my brain begins going somewhere else at jet-like speed.

  I’m no longer sitting at an umbrella table. I’m in a bedroom. It’s dim, only lit by strings of rainbow lights. The girl from my first flashback stands in the middle of the room. The same ghost wind keeps her face hidden behind her hair.

  Somehow words form in my mouth without me thinking them. "You have a lot of rainbows."

  The girl looks around. "I think rainbows are beautiful."

  I take a step toward her and gently cup her face with my hand. "Not as beautiful as you"

  "You're so cheesy."

  I feel myself leaning forward but then it all fades away too quickly. I again find myself sitting in front of Kathryn who is looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

  “Umm… Are you ok?”

  “Yeah, I uhh… I’m fine. I blanked out there for a minute.” I rub my eyes as if wiping sleep away. Death is just a deep sleep, right? Is death living forever in a dream state?

  “No kidding.”

  “Sorry.” We let the silence drip in. Kathryn sips at her soda while I try to decipher the strange visions I’m having. I don’t want to mention them to her because I don’t want her to think I’m crazy.

  “You haven’t told me your name.” Her gentle voice brings me out of my thoughts.

  “It’s Scott.”

  “Scott. That’s a nice name. You can call me Katie if you’d like. What do you think of this place?” She sweeps one arm around, gesturing to the whole meadow.

  Her attempt at small talk is cute and a smile takes over my face. “Well what I’ve seen is beautiful. I especially like the lake. But what about Michael? What’s your opinion on that guy?”

  “Michael is a wonderful angel. He’s so generous to share this perfect life with us.” She sounds so sincere.

  “Really? I thought he came off as a bit arrogant. Like, ‘Oh look at me, I’m head angel’.” I wave my hands in a mocking way.

  Her brow furrows. “That’s awful. I don’t see that at all. He’s so kind.”

  I drop my arms. “Maybe there’s two Michaels? Like a good cop bad cop thing?”

  “I don’t think so.” She’s shutting down. I need to save this conversation. It feels too right talking to her for it to end. I start to look her over, as discreetly as I can, tryi
ng to find a topic. She’s wearing a plain white, button-up shirt and blue jeans. In her hair, holding her bangs back, is a rainbow clip. None of that suffices for the long conversation I’m craving. I begin to look for tattoos or jewelry, anything that can tie her back to her old life. Maybe I can learn who she was and if I really had known her before.

  Katie extends her arm to pick up her Skittles. Her sleeve pulls back and I look at her arm for a bracelet, still desperate to find something. Instead, I see cuts. Two deep red lines that begin at her inner wrist and slice up her arm beneath her sleeve.

  What has this girl been through?

  The question sends my mind back in time. I can’t get used to the whiplash of being pulled into these memories.

  This one is different than the last two. Instead of being in an unknown place with an unknown girl, I am standing here in the Kingdom with Michael, and I feel confused.

  I’m looking at a girl across the lake. “Who is she?”

  “Her name is Kathryn.”

  “How did she get here?”

  “It was a tragedy.”

  Suddenly, I’m thrown back further in time. Michael still stands in front of me, but now I feel angry.

  “Maybe you should have asked her that yourself when you had the chance.”

  I’m thrown back further to before I entered the Kingdom. I’m in my old room and I’m on the phone. On the other line a soft voice speaks with tears in her words.

  “Scotty, I’ve had an absolutely terrible day.”

  Rage takes hold of me and I slam the phone down. In the same instant, that same rage propels my fist towards Michael who now stands in front of me again. I start to fall until his hands catch me and shove me forward through the gate.

  The impact of hitting the ground jolts me back to reality. My hands slam onto the table to catch myself from the fall that was no longer happening. I feel my eyes widen and struggle to catch my breath, but when I see Katie giving me a strange look, I try to compose myself.