by Rowan Massey
“Spitz,” I said with a big sigh, “I get it. I get why you’re worried, but this isn’t dangerous. Doc will have people watching out for me. It’s a regular job. I’m going to be fine.”
I took the map of bad areas Doc had given me out of my pack and showed it to him along with a list of the people I might meet, which explained who to trust and to what extent. I had given Spitz and Fiona some of the fielders, and I had plenty for myself. There would be no scrambling to find the drugs in an unfamiliar place. I talked to Spitz about being a known member of Doc’s inner circle, trying not to sound like I was bragging.
After standing around talking about it for fifteen minutes, I ran out of arguments, and he rubbed at his mouth, thinking it over. If he still wanted me to stay in Emporium, I wasn’t sure if I would go or not.
“I wish I had a phone,” he said. “We won’t know what’s going on with you.”
“Well, you’ll see Doc every night on the field, and he can tell you if anything interesting happens.”
Spitz rolled his eyes. “Doc is the one who’s sending you there in the first place. That makes no sense. He could lie to us.”
“He won’t lie. He’s a good person.”
Spitz interrupted me. “Just go,” he said. “I understand. Maybe I’m just paranoid about leaving town. I feel like you’re going to Mars. It’s so far…I can’t stand thinking about you being so far. You’re always right next to me. We have Fiona now, and I don’t know what to do without you. You always decide things…”
He hid his eyes behind his hand, and I knew it took something out of him to admit that he needed me that bad. Spitz always had a thing about his pride. Maybe he was right, and I’d always been the one deciding things, like he said. Maybe I was the leader. No, it was too weird to think of it that way. We were equal.
“How about this,” I said, thinking. “I’ll ask Doc to give me my ticket home—or the money for it—at the same time I get the ticket to leave. I have all the fielders I need, and I’ll be able to come back whenever I want.”
His eyes brightened for a moment, and he dropped his hand, putting it in his pocket instead of covering his face.
“That’s a good idea,” he said. “Promise me you won’t leave unless you have the return ticket.”
“I promise.”
We gave each other another quick hug, as if shaking on a deal, then woke Fiona. I said goodbye to her without any fuss, and she gave me an extra vitamin bar since one of mine had gotten ruined.
Walking away from them was harder than it had ever been before. We’d always known for sure that we’d see each other again very soon, usually the same day. I wouldn’t see them at all for a few days. It was scary.
They stood on the sidewalk watching me go until I went out of sight.
At Doc’s I was given new clothes and a new pack full of supplies as soon as I got in the door. I took a shower, and all my ratty old things went into a cardboard box. I wasn’t surprised when Doc said that if I did a good job I could keep the new stuff. The part that did surprise me was that he wanted me to cover up being a fielder. He gave me a striped scarf to put around my neck, covering my star tattoo. On my head, he told me to pull my hair down over the scars on my hairline, then wear my beanie pulled down so that it covered everything. I took all the jewelry out of my face and put it in a plastic baggie that he gave me to help me keep from losing things. Even Nando’s chain came off.
When I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, I didn’t recognize myself. All the good food was already making me look healthy, and I didn’t understand how that worked since they didn’t have vitamins added in. I’d never thought about the dark circles under my eyes because everyone on the field had them, but they were going away. I wore thick jeans and a nice flannel shirt; all bright and unfaded, all fitting my body the way they were supposed to. Well, the pants were a little too big, but not falling down. Was this what I would have been like it my mom hadn’t left?
The best part was the boots. They looked like something a soldier would wear. Doc said they would keep out the rain and keep my feet comfortable even though I walked around and danced so much. He said if I kept them, I should scuff them up because they were valuable and might get stolen.
I had the nice phone with the music on it, and a cool tablet with a touch screen. I’d never played games on one of those before. Doc gave me two comic books too, because he was worried I’d run down the batteries as soon as I got on the train. I only liked funny comics, not superhero ones, but I didn’t say that. I just said thanks.
We got into his car, and he drove me to the border. I’d never been so close to it. It was really just a lot of buildings in a row that were walled up, and all the streets in between them had high walls or fences across them. Guards wearing red and black walked around with big guns. When we got close, there was a line where people on foot or in cars had to wait before they could cross, but Doc drove around the line and pulled up by the gate.
An older guard walked over, glanced in the window, and gave us a wave, then a chain link fence slid open, and we went through. That was it. I’d just left Emporium. I twisted around to look behind us. I’d never seen the town the way it looked from the outside. The street was just like the ones on the other side of the border. It was like nothing had happened.
“There’s usually a lot more people at the station this time of morning,” Doc said. “You’ll pick up your tickets here.”
The bus station was almost right outside the border. Two of its walls were big windows, and I could see rows of seats and a few people inside. Doc parked the car but didn’t move to get out.
“This is going to be an adventure for you, isn’t it?” he said, giving me a smile.
“I’m a little nervous. It’s crazy.” Looking towards the border again, it hit me how far from Spitz and Fiona I already was. Was I scared? I didn’t know.
“You can do this,” Doc said. “I trust you. Look behind your seat.”
I reached back and pulled out a heavy duffle bag with padding that made it squared. When I opened it, I was disappointed to see only blue plastic boxes and a cardboard one, all sealed up with tape that said “Warning: Biological Materials” so that I couldn’t even snoop without getting caught.
“What did you say this is?” I asked.
“They’re your blood samples, some samples from other fielders, including Spitz, and a delivery of ingredients. You’ll be bringing things back to me too. My brother, Avi, will take care of all that, don’t worry. All you have to do is show up.”
I nodded and ran my fingers over all of it. There was a piece of paper wedged in, and I pulled it out.
“Show that to the person at the ticket booth,” he said, “and you’ll get your tickets. I already paid for it.”
“Oh…” I fiddled with the paper and looked up at him. “I promised Spitz I wouldn’t leave town unless I had the tickets to come home.”
“It’s a round trip ticket,” he said, smiling again.
“That means it brings me back too?” I said, thinking out loud. I’d never had to deal with tickets before.
“Right. You’ll be home in two days. Any more questions?”
“Is this valuable?” I asked. “I mean, this bag looks funny. People will know I have something worth stealing.”
He shook his head and pointed into the station. “See that boy there? Wearing colors?”
I saw the gangster and nodded. But how did that help me?
“He’s not Dread Red. He’s mine. I have people who patrol the buses, the trains, the border, all of it. Barkley only knows about some of it. I told you, Wally, you’ll be looked out for. They’re a team of people who stay on transport in shifts so that me and my brother can send people like you at any time and know they won’t be jumped. The drivers are informed and paid off. We have a personal security team from here to Manhattan.”
“Wow…” I stared at the guy he’d pointed out. He had a gun. I wondered if all of Doc’s people would be d
ressed like Dread Red.
“Some of my people are friendly, so you might meet them. Others not so much,” he said.
“Okay, cool,” I said. “I’m ready.”
Four hours later, and I was on a train, pressed up against the smudged window. Watching stuff go by had entertained me for a long time, even though it was just houses, trees, and a lot of shitty-looking places like Emporium, only more empty. I’d heard that the world was a lot less full of people because drugs had killed them, or made them lose their jobs, and there had been wars, but I hadn’t really thought about it before seeing so many empty places that were falling down. Emporium apparently had more people in it than most towns.
The train seats were old and smelled like they were rotting or something. It kind of smelled like piss in one spot in the car, so I’d walked down the rows and found a good seat. There were only eleven other people in the car. I’d counted them, and I had no idea if any of them were Doc’s employees. It made me feel like a spy.
There was one lady, maybe in her twenties, who walked up and down the train, going from car to car like she was bored and couldn’t sit still. We made eye contact a couple times, but I couldn’t tell if it was because she was looking at me or because I was looking at her. She was probably one of Doc’s security people.
I explored the music app on the phone and found a lot of cool stuff. The newer songs weren’t as good, and they all had lyrics Doc wouldn’t let me sing, so I listened to old stuff that he might have listened to when he was my age. I memorized two new songs, playing them over and over. One of them was called “Imagine”, and I knew he would like the peaceful lyrics. I liked them too. With the towns and trees going by, and the slow beat of the song in my ears, I started to feel dreamy, and thought a lot about being back in Nando’s bed soon, touching him in soft ways. There were a lot of things I wanted to ask him about when I got back.
When the phone got to fifty percent battery power, I turned the music off and texted Nando. I figured he’d be awake. Before we’d said goodnight the night before, we’d finally swapped phone numbers.
Wally: Im on the trane. How r u?
Nando: I’m good but Rydel is already sick and my jaw is killing me today. Wish you were here.
Wally: Shit. Wil he be ok?
Nando: idk
Wally: I miss you to
Nando: Yeah I’m horny and miss your cute face
Nando: Did you know Veronica didn’t buy from us last night?
Wally: I hop she is ok
Nando: lol nope
Nando: I hope she’s dead.
If Spitz had a phone, I would have texted him and told him to go looking for Veronica. Fiona was still mad at her, but I wasn’t, and Spitz had stayed quiet about it. I wasn’t sure, but I thought he had probably forgiven her too. She’d done a fucked up thing to me, but Veronica didn’t deserve to die over it.
Wally: Lets let it go
Nando: Maybe
Wally: Text me if you here frum Spitz or Fiona ok
Nando: Will do. I’ll keep an eye on them.
Nando: Your friends are my friends.
Wally: Thanks
I sent him a smiley face, and we talked a while longer about nothing much. Mostly, he wanted to hear about the city, but I wasn’t there yet. When he said his jaw hurt too much and he was going to get drunk and take a nap, we said goodbye.
Switching to the tablet, I played a zombie game. A lot of time went by, and the train went over a river twice, making me feel turned around. I winced when I saw I’d drained the tablet’s battery almost to nothing. I turned it off and looked out the window.
There were no trees anymore; not many anyway. I was in the city. It was just as empty as everywhere else, and lots of buildings had fallen down completely. Maybe there had been a big battle at some point. I’d never seen ones that had all fallen down in a group before. Maybe they’d been bombed. If I pressed my face to the dirty glass, I thought I could catch glimpses of skyscrapers up ahead.
“Fuck,” I said out loud.
It wasn’t the same as seeing it on TV. I couldn’t believe how big the place was. Emporium was nothing next to it. A wave of something went over me, but it wasn’t fear exactly, more like an overwhelming feeling of being small. How could I be so small and not know it until I saw those skyscrapers?
Jesus, what if one fell on me? I couldn’t see them very well from where I was, but I’d seen pictures and movies. There were so many. They would be like dominoes. I looked at the broken down buildings that still went by outside the window and didn’t know what to think. Hopefully, Doc’s brother kept his part of the city from falling down.
Before I knew it, the train was slowing down. It took a long time to slow to a stop, and before it did, it pulled into a wide open place where they must have torn down a bunch of buildings on purpose and cleared it all away. I could see a long border curving far off down blocks and blocks of naked dirt and concrete ground. In the middle of the open space were military trucks, barbed wire fences, and right near the train, a big group of soldiers, all lined up like in the movies.
The soldiers were both men and women. The train went by at a snails pace, and I got a good look. Their uniforms were plain gray, and a lot of them were wearing ones that looked too big on them. None of them tucked in their shirts, and they looked like they were wearing big pajamas. If it weren’t for their boots, hats, and guns, I thought they would look kinda dumb. The ones with baggy uniforms were young; still in their teens, but not as young as me. One of the boys looked right up at me, and for a moment, we stared at each other. I was wondering what his life was like, and maybe he was wondering the same thing.
But the train kept going along, and he turned his head back to the man in front, who was walking around between them all and telling them what to do.
I sat back in my seat, glad I wasn’t a soldier. The train finally stopped, but not in a station. All the other passengers got up and headed for the doors with their bags, so I did too. Out the windows, I could see two soldiers walk up to the train carrying a big set of wooden stairs for us to use getting off the train. I followed the little crowd until I was awkwardly going down the steps with my big duffle bag and back pack. The soldiers had stuck around beside the stairs to make sure no one fell down. Close up, I saw the stamped logo on their shirt pockets. It was a circle that said “Citizen Gardens” along the outside, and had a plant and skyscrapers on the inside.
“What are you looking at kid?” One of them asked, and took my arm, moving me along.
I mumbled, “sorry” and kept going. Everyone was headed for a gate like the one we’d gone through in Emporium, only bigger and made out of solid metal. I waited in line, not sure what I was supposed to do when I got to the little hut with men in the window, kind of like a stew kitchen. The closer I got, the more unreal it all felt. When I got to the window, I just stood there and stared at the man. He was a soldier with a thick, brown beard and glasses.
“Bags,” he said, and gestured for me to put them on the counter. I did, feeling a bite in my gut. What if he broke the tape on the boxes? Was I supposed to say something? Why hadn’t Doc told me about border stuff?
He dug a hand around in my back pack first, looking bored, then got to the duffle. He opened it, but barely glanced at what was in it before zipping it closed again.
“Name?” he said.
“Wally.”
He looked me in the eye for the first time, looking barely interested, then turned to grab a tablet and poke around on its screen. When he put it down on the counter, I saw a picture upside down. It was me. The camera must have been somewhere high. Where had that come from? It looked like…Doc’s house.
The soldier’s big hand came towards my face, and I stepped back.
“Show me your neck,” he said. “I need to identify a tattoo.”
I took a second to understand, then pulled my scarf down so he could see my star tat. He nodded, stamped a paper down out of my view, put the paper on my bags, and
pushed them back towards me. I took the paper and bags as quickly as I could, not even putting the pack on my back or strapping the duffle bag across my chest until I was out of the way of the other travelers. When I got to the men at the gate, I held out the paper. One of them glanced at it without taking it from me and waved me away.
I went through the half-open gate slowly, hoping to god I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Nobody paid me any attention. I went past more soldiers, these sitting or pacing around like they were waiting for something. All of them were young, and I couldn’t help staring. It was just so weird. I kept feeling like I was on a movie set. But I told myself to keep moving down the street.
Once I got away from the border, there were a lot more people walking around. Everybody was dressed nice, so I was glad Doc had given me new clothes so I could fit in. I took my map of bad neighborhoods out, along with the map app, and double checked at each street corner. I kept an eye out for anyone who might be on Doc’s security team, but except for the soldiers, everybody looked so rich that they probably had never needed to rob anyone. I felt safe.
The buildings were taller than most in Emporium, but not huge. After getting beeped at by cars twice, I realized nobody else was walking in the street, so I moved to the sidewalk, which was wide and had no trash on it. They had more cars and bikes than at home where walking in the street was normal.
Up ahead, I thought I could see an extremely tall building. It was skinny, reaching up into the haze of the sky. I followed Park Avenue, going towards that skyscraper like it was a compass. I knew that was the area I was headed.
