“Since we ended up horizontal in my van and you never got to see it, I thought I’d give you a private tour.” He walked closer to the edge of the cliff, speaking in his best tour-guide voice. “As you know, Silver Island was founded in 1601 by Bartholomew Silver. Legend has it that good ol’ Bart landed his boat, the Fortune, right down there.” He angled the phone, showing her the long way down to the base of the cliffs, where a slim sandy beach met the crashing waves. “I heard Bart was drunk and actually crashed into the cliffs. Rumor has it that he was found naked with a harem of drunken women, but you know how gossip changes the truth.”
“I believe the gossip,” Carly said. “This is amazing! What else can you see from there? Can you see Bellamy Island? The marina? Where we had dinner?”
He’d never tire of her enthusiasm. She asked a hundred questions and he answered every one of them as he walked along the rocky ridge, showing her everything he saw and describing the things he couldn’t from memory.
As the sun began to set, she said, “I feel like I’m right there with you. I can’t believe you did this for me.”
He turned the phone so he could see her and said, “You didn’t think I’d forget that you wanted to see it, did you?”
“I just thought you would be in Boston preparing for your meeting. But to be honest, when we were apart for all those years, I wondered if you remembered anything about me. But after last week, I think it’s impossible for you to ever forget anything about me.”
“Nothing could be truer.”
“Then you remember how we used to dream about discovering our own island,” she said excitedly.
“Right after we watched The Blue Lagoon with that blond guy you said I looked like—”
“Chris Atkins. I said you were cuter than him. You reminded me of him because he and Brooke Shields were so close, and they fumbled through their firsts like we did. I used to fantasize about us alone on an island like they were, finding ways to make it through each day, watching out for each other.”
“Right there lies the difference between girls and boys, because after watching that movie, I fantasized about you walking around topless on our island. I still fantasize about that.”
They both laughed. But in the moment of silence that followed, sadness rose in Carly’s eyes and disappeared as quickly as it had come, leaving a heaviness in his heart.
“Hey, babe, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong. I just wish I was there with you on that bluff. I could go topless and you could wear a loincloth, and we could pretend it was our island and fall asleep under the stars.”
“I wish I could reach through the phone, hold you, and help you take your top off.” He was glad to see her smile again. “We’ve got this, babe. We’ll make all our dreams come true.”
“Are you guys done yet?”
Zev heard Birdie’s voice but couldn’t see her.
“Almost,” Carly said, looking away from the phone.
Birdie’s face popped into the screen, and she said, “She’s not blushing. Do you want me to call my brothers to give you lessons in dirty talk?”
“Birdie!” Carly complained. “Zev could talk your brothers under the table.”
“I didn’t want to get Carly hot and bothered before going out with you and Quinn,” Zev said, but it was a fib. If he thought it wouldn’t make him and Carly lonelier, he would have gotten her all revved up, and it would have made it even more thrilling knowing that she’d have to play it cool when Birdie and Quinn walked in—which he knew they would.
“Quinny,” Birdie hollered. “Chalk up a few gentleman points for Zev.”
“Got ’em!” Quinn said from somewhere in the room.
“Sorry,” Carly said, nudging Birdie out of the way. “I’d better go. I loved my tour, and I love you more than you can imagine.”
“Right back at you, babe. Good luck at the festival. Send me some pictures. I’d love to see what it’s like.”
“I’ll take some of her!” Birdie called out.
“Thanks, Birdie,” he said, enjoying the hint of embarrassment on Carly’s face. He blew her a kiss. “Until tomorrow, sexy girl.”
She mimed catching the kiss and touched two fingers to her lips. “Until tomorrow.”
Birdie and Quinn made kissing noises in the background, and Carly rolled her eyes as she ended the video call.
Zev looked at Carly’s picture on the lock screen on his phone. He hadn’t even been gone for a day, and he felt her absence like a missing limb. What have you done to me, baby?
Eleven hours down, too many more to go.
Chapter Twenty-Six
CARLY PULLED A tray of brownies from the oven Monday morning, moving to the beat of “Rock Your Body,” from a CD Zev had made her in high school. She’d had to put on music at home, too. The quiet had felt too quiet, making her miss Zev even more. After she’d had dinner with the girls—which they’d eaten at the restaurant because Carly had been outvoted—she and Zev had texted for hours. And after they’d finally said good night, she’d stayed up agonizing over his offer to be his business partner, saying she couldn’t go with him, and wanting to be in two places at once. She should be exhausted this morning, but she had woken up ready to take on the world. Her hair was up in a ponytail, her white Divine Intervention T-shirt was knotted at the waist of her denim shorts—a chocolate-shop-festival tradition—and she had on her most comfortable sneakers.
Unfortunately, the world she really wanted to take on was two thousand miles away.
Between missing Zev and the excitement over what his dive might turn up later today, she could barely think of anything else. But she was trying. She couldn’t wait to tell her aunt all of her news. She’d tried to reach her yesterday, but the call had gone straight to voicemail and she hadn’t left a message. She set the tray of brownies on the counter and glanced at the clock, glad to see it was finally six o’clock. Nassau was two hours ahead of Colorado, and she knew her aunt took a walk on the beach every morning at eight.
She put in her earphones and placed the call.
“I’ve been wondering when you’d get around to calling me,” Marie said when she answered.
“Sorry. Life has been a whirlwind this week. I’ve been prepping for the festival since five, but I didn’t want to call you too early. How are you?”
“I’ve never been better. More importantly, how are you? Your mama told me that your first love is back in your life. How do we feel about this?”
There was no missing the concern in her aunt’s voice. Marie only used we when she was concerned about things that she thought Carly either should be, or was, stewing over. Carly knew Marie would be overly cautious about Zev coming back into her life. Marie knew the Bradens who lived in Weston, and she’d met Zev’s parents once when she’d been in Maryland visiting Carly’s family when she was young. But her aunt didn’t believe in judging a family as a unit, because as she’d told Carly a million times, good people can raise bad children and vice versa.
“We feel incredible,” Carly said, even if a bit confused and lonely. She didn’t want to worry her.
“Mm-hm. Forgive me for withholding judgment until I hear all the facts, sweetheart, but my auntie claws are extended and ready.”
Carly began mixing the frosting for the brownies and said, “Aunt Marie…”
“Save it, sugar. Tell me what I need to know. You know these claws retract as easily as they come out.”
That was true. Carly had seen Marie go head-to-head with a man who stood at the counter eating nearly all of their fudge samples, then tell his girlfriend she should skip a taste because she was getting a little thick in the hips. Marie had given him a verbal lashing. Carly had also seen her aunt eye a teenage boy who she thought was going to shoplift, only to find out after his father came into the shop that the boy was skittish because of anxiety issues, not because he was getting ready to steal. Marie had told the father about Redemption Ranch, and she’d given the boy a chocolate lolli
pop and a Divine Intervention journal because she believed everyone should have a private place to get things out of their head.
“What did my mom tell you?” Carly asked.
“Enough to make me think I need to hear it all myself. Start at the beginning.”
Carly told her everything, from the heart palpitations she’d had when she’d first seen Zev, to the tears she’d shed when they’d talked, and the love she felt all the way through. She set down the bowl of frosting and paced the kitchen, too excited to stand still as she shared the details of their time together, reliving it all as she told her aunt about every conversation, every unspoken worry, and how Zev noticed and addressed each of the worries she’d tried to hide. She gushed about cliff diving, sleeping on the porch at the inn, the surprise trip to Silver Island, and their deep-sea exploration.
“I wish you could have been there when we went cliff diving. It was exhilarating and terrifying, and when I jumped…” She paused to inhale deeply, as she had at the top of the cliff, remembering how good it had felt. “Aunt Marie, it was the most freeing, wonderful feeling. I had forgotten how much I loved doing it, how much I loved being outdoors and allowing myself to feel everything. I hadn’t realized how much life I’d put away, and I know I needed to, but it was…it was like finding parts of myself that I had lost. And when we went in search of the wreckage from the Pride? There are no words to explain how incredible that felt.”
Although apparently there were, because she went on to rave about it for fifteen minutes.
“That was the shipwreck you two were always going on about as kids, right?”
“Yes. He searched for years, and he found it. And then he took me there. It was one of the biggest thrills of my entire life.”
“I can hear that. I don’t think I’ve heard this Carly since…gosh…forever ago.”
“I know—that’s how I feel, too! I forgot to tell you about the concretions!”
Twenty-five minutes later, as Carly finished telling her story, Birdie flitted into the kitchen with a wave. Carly mouthed, Aunt Marie, and Birdie gave her a thumbs-up, and picked up with the festival preparations where Carly had left off.
“Let me retract my claws a little,” Marie said carefully. “I don’t know anything about treasure hunting, but from what you’ve told me, it sounds like extracting those coins and finding the other thing—”
“We think it’s a tool of some sort.”
“Right. They sound like very big deals.”
“Huge, history-making deals, and that’s not all. He offered to make me a partner in his company, which he named after our senior project—Two Treasure Hunters, One Ship—years ago. By making me a partner, I’d become a legal custodian for the Pride.”
“I have no idea what that means.”
“It’s complicated, but basically it makes me responsible for ensuring that the ship and any artifacts that are found are protected. It’s a huge deal. He’s offering to legally make me part of the Pride expedition—our ship, our dream—in the only capacity that he can, since I’m here and the team and the ship are there.” Her heart raced just talking about it. “He’s giving me the chance to get my name in history books. But more importantly, he’s showing me how dedicated he is to me, and to us.”
“Okay, slow down, sweetheart. That sounds like a lot of legal responsibility for someone who’s not around the things that need protecting.”
“I know,” she said a little too sharply. “He asked me to go with him, but don’t worry, I turned him down.” She felt a pang of regret. Come with me! Take a chance, a leap of faith. Let’s do this together, like we were meant to. She forced Zev’s voice away and said, “He knows I can’t just up and leave on a whim. I haven’t accepted the partnership yet because I’m struggling with exactly what you brought up. You know how I am. I need to have my finger on the pulse of everything I’m responsible for. How can I do that if I’m not there?”
How can we be partners in anything if we’re this far apart?
“That was smart, sweetheart. But what do you want?” her aunt asked.
She wanted the partnership almost as much as she wanted the man offering it, but she kept that to herself. While she wanted Zev and to be part of the expedition, she also loved her business, and her life, even if it now seemed to pale in comparison to the life she’d left behind.
No. Scratch that.
It paled in comparison to the life, and the woman, she’d only just begun to rediscover.
“I want it all,” she said honestly, wondering how she could have ever let herself stop dreaming of anything beyond her small, safe world. “The shop, my life here, Zev. But that’s too big a discussion to have right now. But if I decide to accept the partnership, Zev made sure I was covered legally. He has the required insurance, and he has a secure warehouse, a lab, everything he needs to keep the artifacts safe and get them evaluated.”
She got Birdie’s attention and indicated she was going into her office, and as she headed in, she said, “And I’ll be there sometimes. I’m not sure how often or for how long, but I want to be there with him and experience the thrill of it with him. I’m sure I can figure out a way to get there once a month while the weather’s warm enough to dive.” But would that ever be enough? And what if they wanted to have a family one day? How would that work?
“I’m sure you will. You’re a very determined woman,” Marie said.
Carly realized she was going on about being someplace else when her aunt had taken her in, helped her survive the hardest of times, and given her a life and a career. Marie had trusted Carly with her own dream—the chocolate shop. She quickly said, “And he’ll come here, too. Zev knows how important the shop is to me. I can’t wait for you to see the new merchandise we’ve brought in and taste all the new desserts we’ve created.”
“I look forward to it,” her aunt said distractedly, as if she were still mulling over what Carly had said.
“I know you’re worried about Zev hurting me again.”
“Yes, that’s part of it, although from what you’ve said, it sounds like he’s doing everything he can to show you he’s not going to hurt you again, and it sounds like he’s tortured himself over the years for hurting you. It takes a big man to admit to his faults.”
Carly’s eyes stung at the truth of her aunt’s words. “He has tortured himself, and I love him, Aunt Marie. I love him with all that I am and all that I have.”
“Oh, Carly,” Birdie said softly.
Carly turned around.
Birdie lifted the tray she was holding, indicating she was just walking by when she’d heard her, and mouthed, I’m so happy for you, and continued walking to the freezer.
“I trust your judgment, honey. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have given you the chocolate shop,” her aunt said, and Carly realized she’d missed whatever Marie had said when she was focused on Birdie. “I just need to say something, because I love you too much not to. Your mama and I were so worried about you the summer Tory was killed and Zev left. But by the end of that summer, when you went back to school, you were on a healing path. We knew you had a long way to go, but you’d found a way to pick yourself up and carry on. When I saw you that Christmas, you were definitely stronger. You didn’t fool us, though, we knew Tory and Zev had both taken a big part of you with them. But that was to be expected, and we thought time would heal you even more. But the next summer…honey, your mama and I never knew what led to your spiraling back into a depression, and I’m not asking you to tell me. That’s your business. But if it had anything to do with Zev, please be sure that you’re not just brushing anything under the carpet.”
Carly closed her office door. She owed her aunt the truth. “Zev wasn’t the only one guilty of abandoning someone. Over spring break the year after he left, I ran into him in Mexico, and we spent the night together. I still loved him with every part of me, and I felt so much love from him when I was in his arms that night. But I didn’t trust my instincts.” Tears slipped down
her cheeks, and she sank to the edge of her desk with the weight of her confession. “I was afraid I was misreading his emotions, or it just was wishful thinking. I don’t really know what I was thinking. I just knew I wouldn’t survive if he walked away again, so while he lay sleeping, I took off without a word. I didn’t leave a note or anything.” She swiped at her tears, accepting the crushing feeling in her chest as her due. “As cruel as it was, and as embarrassing as it is to admit, I think part of me was still so hurt, I wanted him to feel the pain I had felt when he’d left me.”
“Oh, honey.”
“There’s more,” she said, steeling herself against the sobs vying for release. “I didn’t know it then, but that night while I was realizing I couldn’t survive getting hurt again, he’d realized he’d made a mistake by leaving the way he had, and he’d wanted to try to work things out. But I never gave him the chance to tell me. He woke up to an empty bed, and he assumed I was done.”
“And maybe in that moment of self-protection, you were done. And that’s okay, sweetheart. But if a man loves you, he doesn’t back off because you tell him to. He keeps trying.”
“Maybe some men in some situations would. But Zevy knew how much he’d already hurt me, and he gave me what my leaving told him I wanted. He loved me enough to walk away. I thought I needed to walk away because I had to be done with us to protect myself.” One day Carly would tell her aunt and her mother about the miscarriage, but for now she kept that to herself, because she didn’t want her aunt to mistake the miscarriage as the reason for what she said next. “But it didn’t take long for me to realize that I wasn’t done with him. I looked for him online, but there was nothing. I could have asked his family, but I figured he didn’t want me to find him, and then, well, I ended up here. But until I came face-to-face with him at Char’s wedding, until I felt his presence, truly felt the pull of our hearts and the electric, all-consuming energy between us, I couldn’t have known I was repressing so much of myself. And without that realization, there’s no way I could have realized the bigger truth. I’ll never be done with Zevy, and I don’t want to be. He’s my other half, too big a part of me to ever be overshadowed again. We’re two sides of the same coin. He loved me too much to stay after Tory died, and I loved him too much to stay in Mexico. Now we’ve grown up, and we’re finally in a place in our lives where we love each other too much to ever let go again.”
Searching For Love – the Bradens & Montgomerys (Pleasant Hill – Oak Falls) Page 35
