True Blue Cowboy

by Debra Holt

  Without the ranch, what would they do? Where would they go? It was the only life she knew. While her friends graduated and moved on to college and to lives outside their small town, she had stayed behind. Then her world had been turned upside down a few days after her twenty-first birthday.

  Her father was gone in a blink of an eye. He never even felt the stroke that took him, or so the doctor said. All the questions she still needed answers for were left unanswered. It was suddenly up to her to make decisions and keep the ranch moving forward. She tried to look like she knew what she was doing, but inside herself, she felt woefully inadequate. Her mother tried to help, but she wasn’t as young as she once was.

  Her father had always cherished her mom, as if she were delicate china, and never burdened her with the business side of the ranch. At least not that Josie ever knew about. Too often, especially over the last year, Josie had noticed how her mom’s brown hair had become more silver-infused, her movements not as quick, her visits to the doctor in town more frequent. Whenever she had questioned her about the reasons for the visits and such, her mother had given her some reasonable excuse and changed the subject.

  Josie liked to think the woman was stronger than any of them gave her credit for being. However, everyone had a limit to their strength. Josie realized that with each passing day. She also realized that not even her mother could stem the tide that was rising around them. For seven years, Josie had done her best to fight the battle. Her fear was that she would lose the war and she would have failed her father. The naysayers in town would be proved right…it was nonsense to think a young girl could run a ranch on her own.

  The sudden shift of the wind brought her back to the present. The storm front was almost upon them. Soon, the temperature would begin to drop twenty or thirty degrees within an hour. This was the part Josie did enjoy. She turned Cookie and, with the swirling wind at their backs, she let the animal have its head, and they were off across the plain, literally on the wind itself, leaving all dark thoughts to chase behind her.

  *

  Josie topped the final rise before reaching home and quickly brought the reins back against her chest, her gaze taking in the two vehicles in front of the ranch house. One was Tom Herndon’s older white pickup. Tom had been the ranch’s foreman since Josie was twelve. The other bore the markings and lights associated with the county sheriff’s department. Two men stood conversing beside it. A sudden chill went down her back that had nothing to do with the weather. Touching the horse’s flanks with her boot heels, she covered the remaining ground in a matter of minutes, leaving the saddle almost before the horse came to a halt.

  “What’s wrong, Tom?” Her eyes and attention went immediately to the older man.

  She didn’t care for the quick look the two men shared.

  “We tried to reach you on the cell, but you were out of range. Don’t worry, Josie, but your mom has been taken to the hospital. Seems she was having some chest pains, and she called for the ambulance herself.”

  “No. No,” she denied more forcefully. “I’ve got to get to her. Where are the keys?”

  “I’ll drive you there, Miss Monroe,” the deputy spoke up. “We’ll make better time with lights and siren.”

  “Call and let us know what’s going on when you get there. I’ll get things settled in here, and then Mary and I’ll be on to the hospital,” Tom said, his hand at her elbow, as he moved with her toward the vehicle.

  Somewhere in the recesses of her shocked mind, Josie knew it had to be more serious than they were letting on. Why else should they need lights and siren? An ambulance had been called? Why hadn’t she been home? She hadn’t come in for lunch as she normally did. Why did she have to do something different today of all days? So many questions flew through her mind and no real answers. Panic pushed everything into her chest, making it difficult to breathe or even speak. The ride, normally a forty-minute drive, into the closest city of Abilene, was accomplished in just over twenty.

  The SUV barely came to a halt in the driveway before she was out of the vehicle. Josie flew through the doors of the emergency room, totally lost as to where she was going in her panic. Luckily, her eyes fell on the familiar figure of their pastor, Reverend Morrison. He was an anchor she recognized and grabbed hold of as though her life depended on it. Beside him, were his wife and a couple of other people she recognized from her mother’s circle of church friends. They were all trying to keep encouraging smiles on their faces, but their eyes held something different, and Josie tried not to look into any of them for too long.

  “Your mother is still being examined,” the pastor spoke in his quiet, calming manner. “They have the chief of cardiology in there, along with her own doctor. She’s in the best medical hands possible. We need to keep positive thoughts and prayers in our hearts until they can bring us definitive news.” Josie heard the words, and knew they were correct, and all well and good, but her mind kept going to places that scared her. She felt as if she were drowning and couldn’t pull herself out of the deep water.

  People tried to ply her with cold drinks and coffee and food. She wanted none of it. She needed answers. The hard-plastic chairs of the waiting room and the glare of the overhead fluorescent lighting closed in on her as the minutes turned into an hour. She resorted to pacing the floor, her arms wrapped around her chest. Her eyes flew to the double doors each time they opened. Always, the news coming through them was for someone else in the waiting area. Just when she thought she would scream, a familiar figure in blue scrubs and white lab coat pushed through the doors and she flew to his side, controlled panic etched in every line of her body.

  “How’s my mother? Can I see her? I need to see her.”

  Calming hands went to her shoulders as the short, balding doctor smiled at her. “She’s alive.” He knew that was the way to get her attention, and all the words her fevered mind could process needed to be right up front. Josie visibly drew in a long breath and the rigidness left her small shoulders.

  “Thank you, Doctor Winters.”

  “She isn’t out of the woods yet,” he added, obviously needing Josie to comprehend the issues at hand. “She did have a heart attack. Luckily, she knew the signs and placed the call for help sooner rather than later. The ambulance crew did a good job of stabilizing until they could get her here.

  “We have her sedated, so she’ll calm down and allow her heart to rest. We’ll know more in the next few hours, but for right now, she’s holding her own. You can see her through the window in the ICU, and then you need to relax. I know it won’t do any good to tell you to go home, but I do want these good people to take you out of here for about an hour or so and get you something to eat besides our cafeteria food.” He gave her a slight smile at that point. “You’ll help us to help Dianne by doing as I say.”

  Josie didn’t argue but nodded her head in mute agreement. She just kept running the words through her mind over the next couple of hours. She’s alive. It was a talisman that she held on to with all her might.

  Chapter Three

  “Were you able to see your mother?” Tom asked as he and his wife arrived in the waiting room later that evening.

  “Only for a couple of minutes and they had her sedated at the time. The doctor came around a little while ago again. ‘Cautiously optimistic’ is the term he used.”

  “Miss Monroe.” The nurse’s voice brought all their gazes to the double doors. One of the ICU nurses stood there, motioning for Josie to join her. Josie wasted no time in crossing the room, the others following. “Your mother is awake. Normally, the doctor would have you wait until the morning to talk to her, but she’s being very insistent that she speak with you right now. Is there a Chance Braxton out here with you?”

  Josie was taken aback for a moment when she heard the second question. “No. He’s not here. Someone said he’s out of town. Why do you ask?”

  “Your mother keeps asking to see him, also. If your friends will wait here, I’ll take you back to her
room now.”

  Following on the heels of the uniformed woman, she walked the long hall with her heart hammering in her ears. The woman stopped and nodded for her to step inside the glass-walled room. Josie’s heart jumped to her throat. And she swallowed hard. Her eyes quickly took in the monitors at the head of her mother’s hospital bed, and the others situated in the corner. She didn’t have any idea what all their numbers and squiggly lines meant, other than the fact that her mother was still alive and with her. Her focus fell on the pale face on the pillow. The blue eyes were a little less blue, but they still had her spirit in their depths, as she managed a slight smile up at her. Josie folded her palm around the one hand that didn’t have needles and lines into it.

  “The nurse said I can’t stay long. She said you need to rest.”

  “I’ll rest when I’m ready. I wanted to make sure you were okay and not worrying yourself sick. I’m in good hands here. It won’t do anyone any good if you don’t take care of yourself. You’ve got to be strong now, Josie. Stronger than you’ve been before.”

  “I know, mom. I don’t know why you couldn’t tell me that you had a problem with your heart. There are specialists and…”

  “Enough of that, Josie. You had more than enough on your shoulders without worrying about what might or might not happen to me. It’s my life, and I handle it the way I see fit. Specialists can’t do me any good.”

  “We’ll find ones who can. We just need you to hurry up and get out of here.”

  “I want you to listen to what I need to say.” The woman’s tone was different, and Josie felt a strange uneasiness pass over her and a chill settled around her.

  “I’m listening.”

  “I know how much you love the ranch. How much you have fought to make a go of it since we lost your father. But you can’t let the ranch be your only reason for living. If you do, it’ll end up being the death of you. You’ve given your father and me every ounce of yourself, practically since you could sit on a horse all by yourself. You didn’t go out and enjoy what other girls were doing, go to parties and dress up, have lots of boyfriends…”

  “That stuff never mattered to me. I did what I wanted to do. Why are you talking about it now?”

  “Because it does matter. Life matters, Josie. You must live it and enjoy it along the way. Stop hiding on that ranch. Open yourself up to new things, and open your heart, too. That’s the only thing that really matters in this life…that you love someone and are loved in return. I want you to find the love you were meant to have. To have the family you deserve and children to enjoy.”

  “Mom don’t worry about me. I’m happy right where I am.” Josie noted the worried look that crossed her mother’s eyes. She hastened to chase it away. “I promise that I’ll find that someone special one day, and then you’ll have a few grandchildren that I know you’ll spoil rotten.” She hoped her smile was more genuine than it felt.

  “I’ll hold you to your word to do just that for me. You being happy and safe is all that I ask,” her mother said, squeezing her hand. Then she looked around her daughter’s shoulder. “Is that you, Chance? Come over here.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” The tones were low and steady.

  As the man progressed into the room, Josie felt the chill of the room lessen and an unexpected calm settled in its place. She didn’t stop to reason the why of it. Her walls did their automatic rise at the sight of him being there at that moment. Chance moved to stand on the other side of her mother’s hospital bed. His eyes were steady on the woman in the bed. There was a tug in her chest as Josie noted the warm smile he gave her mother.

  “I would have been here sooner, but I was down in Austin when I got the news. It took me a while to get a plane here with the front moving through.”

  Dianne smiled at him. “You’re a good man, Chance. Your mother, dear Emmaline, raised you right. You’ve been a good neighbor and more like a son we never had. When you give your word, you keep it. I know you were coming over to have dinner with us this Sunday but looks like we might need to postpone that right now. However, I do want to have a conversation with you about something that can’t wait until I get out of here. There’s another favor to ask of you.”

  Josie had no idea where her mother was headed with any of this. She certainly had no idea why Chance Braxton had to be here, taking up her time with her mother.

  “I hope you know how much your words mean to me, Mama Dianne. Name the favor and I’ll do my best.”

  That was the other thing which grated on Josie’s nerves more and more over the years. Since they lost their own mother at an early age, and as long as she could remember, Chance and his brother, Dev, had been encouraged to call her mother by that nickname. It used to be amusing. Now, it just seemed to be an irritant for some reason. However, that irritation was soon replaced by shock, which left her speechless, when she heard her mother’s next words.

  “Take care of my little girl, Chance. You know better than most, she is hard-headed and too stubborn for her own good at times. She’ll fight you tooth and nail, but you’ve always had a way with managing her. You’ve known when to let her have her head and when to pull in the reins. If anything happens to me, I’ll rest knowing you’ll be there for her.”

  “You don’t even need to ask that.” The words were just above a whisper in the room. “I do give you my word, though.” He didn’t meet Josie’s gaze but continued to keep his focus on the woman lying in the bed.

  “Josie, I need you to give Chance and me a couple of minutes alone. There’s some business we need to discuss.” Her mother’s eyes were on hers. She wasn’t asking, she was stating a fact. Josie wanted to immediately react and say no. To order the man from the room. Chance’s eyes finally rose to look at her and that one look from those serious blue eyes made her bite back the rest of her thoughts. This was neither the time nor place, and her mother didn’t need to be upset. Josie would bide her time.

  “I’ll be just outside the door.” Josie bent and placed a quick kiss on the cool forehead, feeling her mom give her hand a responding squeeze. The door whispered shut behind her.

  *

  Dianne turned her head to look up at the man standing beside her. “She’s fuming right about now. She’ll likely take it out on you.”

  A slight smile creased his face. “I’m sure she’ll try. But I’ve gotten several layers of tough hide over the years. No need to worry.”

  “It’s had to be over the years.” The woman expressed a weary sigh. “It wasn’t easy for you watching my daughter pine for your little brother and always giving her a shoulder to cry on. You’ve loved my Josie for a long time now. When do you aim to do something about it?”

  Chance’s smile left his face, as his eyes grew to a darker sapphire in their solemn regard of the woman and the consideration of her unexpected question. “When the time is right, I’ll know.”

  “That’s not an answer.”

  “As I told you the other day, I’ll be here for her as long as she needs me. Hopefully, that might be an eternity or two.”

  “Then I’ll trust in that. Any man who loves Josie has to be very patient.”

  The half grin seemed almost forced. Chance was already walking a fine line where Josie was concerned. He had loved Josie for too many years to count. But he had also had to come to the realization that there would be little hope of him having her heart if she couldn’t get past her fixation on his brother. There was no future in being second-best. He had stood by and watched his ne’er-do-well brother break her heart time after time and stepped in to help her family with the ranch more times than he could count, but he wasn’t certain he had any more “patience” left. However, the woman needed reassurance in her fragile state. He couldn’t deny her that. “I have the patience of Job.”

  “I trust you’ve given thought to what we discussed briefly on the phone yesterday? The terms that are in my will?”

  “Yes, I’ve thought of little else.”

  “What’s your an
swer?”

  “I gave you my word that I’ll be here for Josie. I’ll give you my word that I’ll see that she always has her home here…no matter what happens at the end of the time period. But I can’t say that I know how this will all play out. There are trustees and bank managers to keep in mind. Everyone has a say. But I will do my best to find the best course of action to protect Josie and your home.”

  “I trust your word. I know you’ll always do the right thing. I also trust in my faith that my daughter will listen to her heart and make the right decision when the time comes. I can rest easy now that this is all settled. Josie’s future is safe in your hands.”

  *

  The skies were cloudless and as blue as a sea of bright bluebonnets in spring. Winter halted its advance with a reverent pause. A light breeze brushed over the sea of pale winter grasses and around the crowd of dark-clad mourners gathered in the small cemetery in the grove of leafless pecan trees. Their vehicles mostly ranch pickups and SUVs, filled the parking area around the native stone church, which sat a few hundred yards distant on a small knoll. The site was on the outskirts of Braxton and about ten miles from the Monroe ranch.

  Dianne Eileen Monroe, aged sixty, was laid to rest next to her husband, Benjamin, in the family plot, which held three previous generations of the Monroe clan. Reverend Morrison extolled the many virtues of the woman who touched so many of her neighbors’ lives. While modern medicine had worked its wonders on keeping her on the earth another four days after her sudden heart attack, it wasn’t in the Master’s plan to leave her with them.

  Josie saw it all as if she were standing apart from the crowd, watching it all play out before her. She was impervious to everything…numb. The moments that had ensued after the call from the hospital causing her to race back to the ICU; being told her mother’s heart had arrested and nothing they could do to bring her back; to standing among the granite tombstones in the present moment…she had functioned on autopilot. She moved and spoke and did what was expected of her. All the while, there was a stark emptiness where her heart had been. Josie didn’t know if it would ever go away. Part of her hoped it wouldn’t. It somehow made it possible for her to go through the motions expected of her, keeping the sharp barbs of pain at bay.