Deviated

by Schmidt, Esther E.

  Sona shrugs. “It’s research, I’m helping him.”

  The corner of my mouth twitches. “Are you going to test this stuff and give him a detailed report? A video you’re gonna share on your social media like how you do with all the booze testing? Or is he coming over to do some experimenting so he can write a book about nailing you in every way?”

  “Funny, Es,” she grumbles and throws some of the other items back in the box but keeps waving the pink fake dick. “To be honest, I have no clue. I’ve been working with him for almost a year now and our emails are always fun and casual, yet all within a business perspective. But last week it suddenly turned playful. He mentioned his inspiration tanked and how it was probably due to the lack of sex in his life. He’s working on a novel and since our emails turned playful, I might have suggested for him to order some toys to entertain himself. You know, the whole alternative, get some more inspiration or a twist on things. Then, today, I received this box and when I opened it there were all these toys.”

  “Show me the emails,” I demand and reach for her laptop.

  Sona slaps my hand away. “I’ll do no such thing. He’s a client, not a weirdo you need to run a background check on to see if he’s a potential serial killer who’s stalking me and eventually kills me with orgasms inflicted by sex toys.”

  I snatch the pink jelly dick from her hand and let it wobble in front of her face. “Exhibit A.”

  She rolls her eyes, takes it from me and throws it into the box. “He’s harmless, Es. Besides, I think it’s fun and cute. Don’t ruin my good vibe. Now, what’s going on with you?”

  “‘He’s harmless’ is frequently mentioned by people who are friends with individuals who turn out to be serial killers,” I tell her with a little humor in my voice, though I’m dead serious.

  “Yeah, yeah,” she mutters and picks up the box to stash it away in her bedroom.

  She strolls back out and points in the direction of the kitchen. “What are we drinking?”

  “I don’t care, as long as it has caramel,” I grumble and plant my ass on a barstool.

  Her apartment is the same as mine, only a mirrored version of it, and she has a more fluffy, over the top interior. Where I have only a handful of things in my home, hers doesn’t have any space left to put another chair or hang another frame on the wall.

  A mass of paintings cover the walls, all of them different landscapes. A large brown leather couch along with three lazy chairs sits in front of a TV and a desk is tucked in the corner near the floor-to-ceiling windows.

  Sona throws some stuff into the blender and grabs two large glasses. It doesn’t take long before I’m sucking a straw and the sweet, ice goodness of a caramel Frappuccino enters my mouth.

  “This is exactly what I needed,” I groan.

  “Good. But weren’t you supposed to be at the gym all day?” Sona asks while she wipes the counter.

  I take a few more sips before I start to explain why I had to cut my training short. “Cullen was stalking me again today. So, when I saw he was distracted by a phone call, I rushed out of the gym to catch him by surprise and confront him. Didn’t go as planned, though. Ugh. Such a mess,” I huff. “He had the nerve to kiss me and ask me to a barbeque.”

  Sona stayed silent and blinks a few times before she says, “And you’re questioning the sanity of a man who sends me sex toys? I’d say you have your hands full with running another background check on your CIA stalker guy. Sounds like he doesn’t have all his ducks in a row if he’s following you around like a damn puppy.”

  “I’ve confronted him. Said exactly what was on my mind and flipped him the bird as my final statement.” I jump off the barstool and check her cabinets for cookies. I’m in desperate need of comfort food, either that or my period is coming up.

  Sona bats my hands away and points at the barstool. “Sit. You’re going to hate yourself if you eat junk. Besides, the Frappuccino I made you should be more than enough to give you a sugar rush. Sit and talk through your emotions like a normal person.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about.” I grab my drink and lean against the counter. “I told him to piss off. Besides, the things he mentioned? Same shit he put in the report, he clearly thinks I’m a fuck up. So, why the hell did he put his mouth on me? Ugh. Men.”

  Sona tilts her head. “Didn’t you mention your dad was able to retrieve a tape off of some security camera that showed your actions saved the life of that baby? Saved the CIA guy? Probably saved all of your asses, so why is this whole thing still an issue? It shouldn’t be…you told me it was all behind you. And that’s needed because you’re hurting enough with the loss of your friend Abe.”

  A jab of grief and pain hits me from the reminder and I swallow it down quickly. I’m on edge as it is and I don’t want to spill tears that won’t do me any good, other than make me an even bigger mess.

  “Because politics, law and order, paperwork, and all the fussy restrictions take time. And I told you we can’t use or mention the video, it doesn’t exist, so that’s moot. This whole hostage extraction was tied to diplomatic issues. You know how things go, once a spark ignites it takes a while to find the resource, extinguish it, and keep an eye on it to prevent it from flaming up again. And that’s exactly what’s happening right now; all eyes are open and focused on what went wrong and retracing steps. This is why they gave Broken Deeds MC the task and free range all those years ago, and why we get things done. We don’t deal with this dragging bullshit. Until this CIA asshole wrote a report about my incompetence and put a brake on things.”

  The sound of me sucking my straw into an empty glass fills the room and it makes my statement sound even more dramatic. That, or I’m wallowing in self-pity and feel all of the drama weighing down on me. Shit. I’m most definitely getting my period.

  Sona grabs the empty glass from my hand. “You’re done. And you’re not getting more of this sugary stuff either. Besides, what’s done is done and now you need to move forward. Let your dad and the others worry about all the details. You know for yourself what you did, and from what I heard and know, you did it well. Those who matter have your back, so breathe. Now, tell me about the kiss.”

  Tell me about the kiss? What the? “No,” I snap. “I’m not telling you anything because I’m taking your advice; what’s done is done and I’m moving forward. It’s not going to happen again. And if he keeps stalking me, I’ll make sure he disappears. Swimming with the fishes and all that, see how he likes my capabilities then.”

  Sona chuckles and slowly sips her drink. I stare at it with longing. I should rip it out of her hands so I can drink it myself.

  “That good, huh?” she says as she places her drink on the counter.

  “Yes,” I sigh. “I need more.”

  “So, you’re not going to make him disappear?”

  “What?” I gasp. “I was talking about the drink, not the kiss. Though it was good. Better than good. More like I need to climb him like a rugged mountain and ride him like a dragon spitting fire. Dammit, all of it is a freaking mess. How did everything get so jaded?”

  She slides her drink across the counter. “Here, you need it more than I do.”

  I greedily take it while she shakes her head.

  “Life should have more fun moments to pull you through the frustrating ones. Or just wave a big fat juicy promise in front of your face to ensure good times lie ahead when you’ve struggled through the mess you’re in now,” I grumble. “Life sucks with timing and planning, things never work out the way they should.”

  I’m still moping. It’s not just the Cullen issue, it’s also the case I’m working on. This morning I managed to tie another woman’s death to the others. She was kidnapped four weeks ago and found dead in a shallow grave earlier this week. Exactly like the other three in the file I received when I started this case.

  I’ve found six missing persons cases over the last ten years which I’m fairly sure are connected seeing they all have similarities. I think
this unknown suspect has been abducting females and killing them when he gets bored, and he’s been active for over a decade.

  Sona pats my shoulder, ripping me out of my thoughts. “Wait for the sugar rush to hit, sweet cheeks. Besides, the whole high and lows of life is overrated. You know damn well you have to grab the bitch by the lady balls and squeeze those suckers yourself. Your life; you’re in control. Oh, speaking of squeezing balls, I think I saw a dildo with a pair of squishy balls, need me to get it for you? You could practice the squeezing.”

  I can’t help but snicker, take my head in my hands and groan while I rub my eyes. “Keep your toys, I’ll head out and find me a live one to play with. You’re right, maybe that’s what I need, some mindless fun to distract me. I’ve earned it and it’s been way too long.”

  Sona shoots me a beaming smile. “Booty call, a remedy that fixes all problems at hand.”

  “Any chance you wanna go out with me tonight?” I try, not feeling up to going to a bar by myself to pick up some guy.

  Her eyes twinkle with mischief when she says, “Sorry, babe. No can do. I have a hot date with a box filled with pleasure toys. Besides, I’m not into girl on girl action.” Over dramatically she sighs, “That just doesn’t get my rocks off.”

  I can’t help but burst out laughing and I shake my head as I head for the door. “Fine,” I fake grumble, open the door and shoot a wink over my shoulder as I add, “I’ll go and find myself a dick of my own to play with.”

  The next step I take is one that stops abruptly due to the wall of brick I’m hitting. Or make that the very hard chest of Cullen. His hands are on my hips and his heat is seeping through, making me aware of how close he is.

  Seriously, I should hate him, but why do I feel the need to climb this man and use him until I’m fully sated? Ugh. I’m sure it’s the sex toys and the frustration my body is charged with.

  “What are you doing here?” I snap while taking a step back, leaving him no other choice but to drop his hands.

  “Offering you a dick to play with, apparently.” The corner of his mouth twitches as a smirk starts to spread his face.

  “Do I need to grab the handcuffs out of the box for you?” Sona questions, her voice filled with laughter.

  She’s such a good friend, ugh.

  “I’d rather have the pink dildo because I have the sudden urge to ravish an asshole,” I fire back.

  Cullen’s smirk stays firm in place. I have to give it to him, it’s quite admirable because I’m seriously contemplating shoving the pink thing up his—

  “We need to talk,” he simply says.

  Again, annoyance strikes because we have nothing to talk about. “No, we don’t have any lube. Sorry, we’re all out.” I glance over my shoulder at Sona. “Thanks for the caramel high. And don’t you dare meet up with the guy who sent you that box of sex toys. Stay smart, stay safe.”

  She starts to huff but I’m already pushing Cullen out of the way so I can close the door behind me. I have to admit this man is persistent and since it’s his fault Broken Deeds MC is under investigation; it might not be such a bad idea to hear him out.

  Maybe I can somehow take some of the pressure off by talking things through. It will also end the excuse for him to show up unexpectedly at every turn. I step inside my apartment and wait for him to enter before locking the door behind him.

  “Look,” Cullen starts as he slides his fingers through his disheveled blond hair. “I know it might look like I’m stalking you but the truth is...I’ve been meaning to talk to you but I’m not sure I should.”

  My lips stay sealed since I don’t exactly know what he wants me to say.

  “You’re really frustrating,” he mutters softly and the smile he adds with it makes the words sound as if he’s suffering, yet liking this little fact.

  “Well, I’m glad to say we’re on equal ground there.” I take a seat on my couch.

  His eyes slide around the room before they land on mine. “Minimalistic interior type?”

  “I don’t like a lot of hassle. So, let’s get to the point, shall we?”

  He sits down in a chair across from me and leans his forearms on his thighs. “Right. How about the barbeque this Saturday?”

  I keep staring at him, waiting for some kind of added explanation but it doesn’t come. “We’re supposed to talk now and that’s it. I’m not going to go to some barbeque with you nor are we going on a date, kissing, or whatever. You wanted to talk, so talk.”

  “Why not?” The frustrating man shrugs.

  Anger flares because I’m not understanding his approach. “Your report clearly states—”

  He rudely cuts me off. “We need to leave the report for what it is. I can’t, and won’t, take it back.”

  We keep staring at each other until he suddenly says, “My father owns part of the company—”

  “And your mother worked for the CIA, she was one of the best. She is the daughter of the former CIA Director. Needless to say, we both read each other’s file. See? There’s no reason to discuss anything, so you being here is useless.”

  “That’s exactly it, Esmee. We have details listed, let’s throw all of it aside. Show me the kind of person you are and how I seemingly misjudged the situation. Tell me. Is there something I don’t know about? There’s no choice in the matter, we either talk or fuck it out.”

  “Fuck it out?” I squeak, my eyes bulging.

  He slowly shakes his head while fighting a smile. “I said talk or fight it out. But I’m up for some naked wrestling between the sheets if you’re offering.”

  He didn’t, did he? Shit. Why am I doubting myself?

  “You said fuck, not fight,” I growl, and hate the way this man can yank my emotions left and right.

  “All the more reason to have people around us while we get to know each other. Look at it this way, you can pry some dirty details from my parents and friends about me while you’re there. It might come in handy some time.”

  I contemplate his words and he must think I’m an idiot. “Your mother is ex-CIA, and your father shares an equally strong background where lips stay sealed. Nice try. I still don’t see any reason for you and I to get to know each other.”

  “My report. Your father’s MC. You’re smart,” he snaps and leaves me to fill in the blanks, blanks I’m all too well aware of.

  I lean forward and hiss, “Now you’re aware of the reason I hate your guts. Sticking your nose into shit you don’t know because you only care about rules and regulations this world thrives on while evil slithers its way through the cracks. Waving a shield to hunt down the bad in this world doesn’t always work, asshole. You need people who don’t care about getting their hands dirty. While all you see is the dirt on our hands, yet we? We know exactly what the dirt is made of. Every. Damn. Speck. It’s what we do. While all you focus on is inspecting the dirt. No one needs reports about dirt, they only want the ground to be fertile so shit grows instead of dies. You’re smart. Figure out my metaphor. And if you can only imply, let me voice those dirty words for you. I’m very aware the report you wrote casts a magnifying glass on Broken Deeds MC. We’re under investigation because of you. So, you wanna play nice and friendly? O-fucking-kay. I’ll go to your little shitty barbeque for shits and giggles. Now get out of my damn house, I’m done talking to you.”

  Chapter Four

  CULLEN

  “Why do your eyes keep sliding to the window? Expecting someone?” my father asks me from my right.

  I tear my gaze away from the window and take the beer he’s offering me. “I was hopeful,” I murmur.

  “Finally found one worthy enough to ask her to a family barbeque and she leaves you hanging, huh?” He snickers while I shoot him a glare.

  The doorbell rings and it frustrates me I didn’t see who’s at the door because my father dragged my attention away. My throat runs dry when Esmee steps inside the room. Her long dirty blonde hair is pulled out of her face but it’s falling in waves down her back almo
st to her ass.

  She’s wearing ripped blue jeans along with a white short shirt which states “Caramel is the solution.” The white sneakers on her feet as well as everything else screams casual and yet she’s radiating class.

  My whole body instantly heats and I can still vividly remember the way her tongue piercing felt and I’m man enough to admit I’m dying to know what it would feel like to have this woman drop to her knees and tease my dick with it. Shit. I give my head a little shake to clear it from the lust fog I wrapped myself in.

  My father smacks me on the shoulder. “You did good, son. I’m proud of you.”

  I shake my head and mutter, “It’ll be a cold day in hell if I ever have a shot at having her.”

  My father gives me a questionable look but I don’t have time to say anything else because Esmee is heading our way.

  My arm raises and while I’m fairly sure she’s going to reject taking my hand, I still can’t help myself. To my surprise she slips her hand in mine and lets me pull her closer. “Dad, let me introduce you to Esmee Lawson. Esmee, my father, Mark Dixon.”

  “Esmee Lawson,” my dad murmurs and raises an eyebrow at me.

  I know with certainty he recognizes the name because my father read the report I wrote about the mission the company he co-owns was a part of.

  But he doesn’t say anything more than, “So nice of you to join us. How did you manage to charm my son? He’s been on watch in front of the window for the last hour, waiting for you.”

  Great. Way to go, Dad, making me sound like a desperate fool.

  Esmee chuckles and there’s mischief dancing in her eyes when she says, “I have my ways. Even if some are underrated.”

  I lean in and whisper, “We are supposed to leave the past in the past.”

  Pineapple and vanilla assault my senses and I can’t help myself as I lean in closer to breathe her in.

  “I’m going to leave you two to it. Cullen, don’t forget to bring her outside and introduce her to your mother,” my father says with laughter in his voice but I completely ignore him.