Cowboy Kind of Reckless

by Becca Turner

  “Round of applause for Will Baxter, motivational speaker.” She let out a sigh. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “I know better than anyone. People thought I killed Karen on purpose, you know.” He lowered his gaze. “Live with something like that. My own brother believed I was capable of that.”

  She couldn’t believe Luke would say something like that to Will’s face. “He did not.”

  “He really did.”

  “But you didn’t do it.” She let go of the pendant. “Everyone knows that now.”

  “Imagine carrying that around with you, though. He never said it out loud to me, but it was there. I forgave him for some reason, but I still get to live with knowing he thought it.” Will lifted his hat, then ran his fingers through his hair. “I know a thing or two about dragging around a shitty past and how freaking miserable it’ll make you.”

  Will might understand her decision to give Joy away, but if Jessi or Faith—both mothers—ever found out, they’d hate her guts. With good reason.

  “Nice speech. I still don’t want to talk about it.”

  “It’s eatin’ you up.”

  “It ought to. I deserve it.”

  “You really gonna make me guess?” He moved his chair closer to her, looked up at her. “You smothered Dad with a pillow, didn’t you?”

  She couldn’t help smiling. “I thought about it a few times, but no.”

  “Drugs.”

  “No.”

  “Prison?”

  “Do you think I killed someone?” She shook her head. “It’s not prison.”

  “Running from a boyfriend or a crap husband.”

  “It’s not about a man, either.” Well, once it had been, but he was long gone and that was for the best. For her and Joy.

  “I’m running out of ideas. Throw me a bone.”

  She licked her lips. The words wanted to come, but if she let them out, there was no going back. If Will found out about Joy, he’d want to do something. Want an answer for why Jody wouldn’t give her own child a kidney. She was too afraid to admit that part too.

  “Give it a rest.”

  She stepped away from him, left the porch, and made her way back to the horse trailer.

  Chapter Sixteen

  The blackened land around Peach’s house and ranch made Nolan’s stomach queasy. The old woman’s hay shed was gone, reduced to a pile of rubble. Her fences, some barbed wire, some wooden rails, sagged or collapsed completely.

  Yet Peach stood on her porch, mug of coffee in hand, composed and steadfast. “Well, look what the sun turned up.”

  He jerked his thumb at the horse trailer. “I brought this back for you. I don’t have any use for it. Besides, you want your truck, don’t you?”

  She nodded. “Reckon I do.”

  “How’s Coy?” The yard was empty. Presumably the whole crew was elsewhere on the ranch. Maybe repairing fences where the cattle normally grazed.

  “He didn’t sleep last night. Not that I did either, but he’s torn up about what happened. He’ll probably work himself to death trying to make up for this.” She took a sip of her coffee. “You seen my hired girl?”

  His turn to nod. He tucked his thumbs into his pockets. “She went with me to get the horses. She’s supposed to come get me and take me home, but with Jody, you can’t tell.”

  “She’s flighty lately. I can’t figure out what’s gotten into her. When she works, she’s a damn hard worker. Doesn’t complain about much.” Peach chuckled. “Well, she never says much. Getting conversation out of Jody is like pulling teeth.”

  “I don’t think she’s real happy here. She doesn’t know where she wants to be, but she’s pretty sure it’s not Swells.” He tugged the brim of his hat a little lower to hide his frustration. She’d never promised him anything and it drove him mad that she wouldn’t.

  “We’ve all felt like that at one time or another.” Peach nodded at the dust trail on the road. “Guess she didn’t forget about you.”

  His heart sped up a little as Jody turned his truck into the drive. He’d been a little hurt when she told him to leave Splash at the Tumblin’ B, but on the way over, she’d insisted Luke wouldn’t mind if the horse stayed. She’d given him some vague excuse about teaching Dusty to trick ride. True to her word, Luke hadn’t said anything to the contrary. But it would’ve been nice if she’d had to come to Nolan’s place to see the horse. He could’ve worked his way a little further under her skin with an opportunity like that.

  Peach elbowed him in the ribs. “You’d better wipe that look off your face before Jody knocks it off for you.”

  “What look? I wasn’t doing a look.”

  “You besotted with Jody?”

  “No!”

  “The lady doth protest,” she muttered around her coffee mug.

  “Har, har. I’m taking care of your horses out of the goodness of my heart. Don’t forget that.”

  Her face softened. “I know. You’re a good neighbor, Nolan. I appreciate your help.”

  Jody parked his truck, then got out and shut the door.

  He lowered his gaze. He wouldn’t watch her walk up. Wouldn’t make any moony-eyed faces while she approached. “Anyone with any decency would do the same.”

  Jody’s footsteps faltered. “Um… Truck’s here. I guess—is there anything I ought to be doing?”

  Peach looked her over. “You feelin’ okay, honey? You look like you got cornered by a mean bull.”

  Nolan raised his gaze. A sheen of sweat clung to Jody’s face and beneath her tan, her pallor had gone gray.

  Jody waved her hand. “I probably need to eat. We had a busy morning and I forgot.”

  Peach’s gaze traveled between Jody and Nolan. “Oh?”

  “With moving the horses.” Jody’s eyes widened and her mouth pinched. “Nothing else.”

  Her words stuck in him like a dozen arrows.

  “You need coffee? Nolan, coffee?” Peach gestured toward the house. “I’ve got a fresh pot.”

  “I should join Coy or do something around here.” Jody slid her hands into her back pockets. Her eyes turned toward the burned side of the stable. “I guess with no horses you don’t really need an extra hand.”

  Peach sighed. “Let me sort some things out and I’ll let you know for sure. Not that I doubt you’d be in the way while the guys string up new fence. I’m sure you could handle it, but…”

  Jody’s jaw tightened and she looked away. “I understand.”

  The slightest tic formed under her right eye, barely perceivable, but Nolan caught it. With the damage to Peach’s place, she couldn’t afford to keep any employee who wasn’t really needed. It made sense, but it put Jody in a hard place.

  Jody shrugged. “I hope you get things cleaned up quickly. I’m glad you still have the horses. That would’ve been an awful loss.”

  “Thank you, darlin’.” A dampness came into Peach’s eyes. “I’ll let you know as soon as I know, all right?”

  “Take your time. It’s no problem.” Jody managed to make her words light. “Guess I’ll take a little vacation. Maybe I can bug Will and Luke while their wives are out.”

  “It’d be good for both of them.” Peach smiled. “The offer for coffee still stands.”

  Jody shook her head. “Thanks, but I’m beat. I want to get home and grab a nap.”

  Come home with me. Nolan bit his tongue. “We could grab a bite to eat first.”

  Jody drew her bottom lip between her teeth. “Thanks, but—”

  “Insert generic excuse here. You already said you need to eat and from the looks of it, you might fall down any second. Have lunch with me.”

  “You’re a pest,” she grumbled. “Fine. There’s no point in arguing.”

  Could he trust her not to run off the minute she got in her truck? “Meet me at the Angus Diner?”

  “Yeah. Sure.”

  He held her gaze. “Really?”

  “I’ll be there. Jeez.” She turned without
another word and made her way to her truck.

  “She’s a stubborn one. I do feel bad about not needing the extra help right now.” Peach worried her lower lip between her teeth. “I just need to regroup.”

  “Don’t you worry about it. We’ll find something for Jody to do.” He gave her a quick hug. “You’ll get through this. Tell Coy I said so.”

  “Will do. Thanks, studmuffin.” Peach gave him a sad smile. “Take care of Jody. She looks like she needs it.”

  “Who’s gonna take care of me after I take care of her? She’s got a bite.” Her tough woman act was a front for something she wouldn’t talk to him about. Luckily, he could take it. Nolan winked at Peach, then headed for his truck.

  * * * *

  Jody pushed scrambled eggs around her plate, but almost none of them made it into her mouth. Only the coffee appeased her, and she’d already had four cups. Her hands were shaking from the heavy dose of caffeine.

  Nolan’s gaze rested on her like a brick on her chest.

  “Could you stop staring at me?”

  “I imagine those eggs got cold ten minutes ago.” He chewed a piece of bacon, but his eyes didn’t leave her.

  “You’re probably right.” She put down her fork and lowered her hands into her lap. What am I going to do? I can’t just dump Splash on Luke like this. She wasn’t going to cry. That didn’t solve anything.

  The greasy scent of hash browns made her troubled stomach ache. A late breakfast hadn’t been a good idea. Nolan would’ve badgered her until she said yes, so it had been easier to bend.

  “I know you’re worried about your job, but everything will work out. Have a little patience. Like you said, Will and Luke probably wouldn’t mind you getting to know the Tumblin’ B. If all else fails, you know where I am. Come bug me.”

  She grasped her empty coffee cup, wishing for a waitress. Things were falling apart a lot faster than she’d anticipated. “Yeah, there’s that.”

  “You need a float or anything?”

  Jody raised her gaze to his. “No. I’m fine, thank you.” As though she’d ever take a loan from him. She’d sleep in her truck first.

  “You’re obviously not fine.”

  “I really am. Cross my heart.” She made the motion, then slid her coffee cup toward the edge of the table in hopes a waitress might notice.

  “You might’ve reached your limit on the coffee.”

  “I don’t need a parent. If I want to drink so much of it that I’m hanging off the ceiling by my fingernails, it’s my business.” She tapped the bottom of the cup against the fake wood. “I’m not above getting it myself if I have to.”

  Nolan slid his hand across the table. Long fingers folded over her wrist and he pulled her hand toward him. “You’re going to be okay.”

  “I know. I’ve been through worse.” She hated the pity on his face. “Don’t worry about me. I bounce right back.”

  He laced his fingers through hers. “Are you going to take a break or jump head-first into job hunting?”

  “I’m no good at sitting still. Gotta have something to do.” She managed a smile. “Maybe Jessi or Faith would let me babysit.”

  “I’m sure neither of them would have a problem with it. If you want, I bet Natalie would even let you hang out with Casey. The baby will be here soon and Austin and Nat would like some alone time before then. We could make a thing out of it. She can stay with me and we’ll go do something fun.”

  His touch made little goosebumps race up her arms. She needed the comfort. “I was joking.”

  “I’m not.” His blue eyes pierced her. “Think about it.”

  “If Austin has a brain in his head, he won’t want me around his kid for long. In case you forgot, I like to drink. Not exactly a sterling example of a role model.” She dropped her gaze again. “I have no idea what kids like to do.”

  “She reminds me of you. You seemed like the type who hates shopping. Natalie practically has to drag Casey into the stores.”

  “Unless it’s the feed store, count me out.”

  “She’d like you. You’d like her. We could catch a movie.”

  She couldn’t imagine going into a theater with Nolan and his niece like they were a happy family. “That would be weird.”

  “Why?” He squeezed her fingers. “What’s wrong with it?”

  “It’s not my thing.”

  “You don’t want Casey along.” His grip relaxed. “We’ll go by ourselves then. I’m good with that.”

  “No, it’s not that. Casey and I would get along fine. Probably. Right now, things are up in the air and I’m trying to wrap my head around it. I’m not in the mood for a movie. You should take her, though.”

  “We’d have more fun if you came along.”

  The charming, hopeful smile would’ve made her knees weak if she’d been standing. “Doubt it. I’d hog the popcorn.”

  “We’ll get you a bucket of your own.”

  “Tempting.” She smiled again. “I suppose it’s got to be a kid-friendly movie.”

  Hope crept into his eyes. “We could squeak by with PG-13.”

  “When?” Weird, but she really did want to go with him. She wouldn’t know how to deal with Casey any better than Luke’s step-daughter, but she could muddle her way through.

  “Tonight? I know Austin won’t mind.”

  “Okay. I don’t have anything set in stone.” Massive guilt came down on her. She’d lost her job. Couldn’t be of any help to Joy. Poor Joy, who was sick and dying. Jody didn’t deserve to have fun while something like that was happening.

  “You okay? There’s a funny look on your face.” Nolan stroked his thumb across the back of her hand. “Don’t back out on me now. You already said we’re going.”

  She swallowed the knot in her throat. “No, we’ll do it. The plans are made.”

  “Then how come you look like you’d rather lick a fresh pile of horse apples?” His brow furrowed. “Don’t sull up on me, Jody.”

  She laughed at his comparison. “I really don’t like much to do with horse apples. The movie sounds way better. What time?”

  “Five? We can grab a bite to eat before we go.”

  “That’s fine. I’d better get home and clean up a little better. I don’t want your niece to think I’m some drifter you found on the road.” She tucked hair behind her ear. “Thanks, Nolan.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “For what?”

  “I don’t know. Just…nagging me until I agree to do things with you. It’s a nice distraction. I’m sorry I’m so terrible.”

  “I don’t think you’re terrible. Confused, unsure, maybe. Nothing else.” He slid out of the booth. “I’ll pay.”

  “You don’t have to.” She had a few crumpled bills in her pocket that would more than cover what she hadn’t eaten.

  “I want to. Don’t worry about it.” He winked at her. “See you tonight.”

  “It’s a deal.”

  Probably a mistake too, but her list was already a mile long. What was one more?

  Chapter Seventeen

  Jody sat on one side of Nolan while Casey took the other. She leaned around him to steal a last bite of popcorn from the bucket on Casey’s lap. The movie credits rolled against rough animation sketches of the characters. She’d been too busy relaxing under Nolan’s warm arm to pay much attention to what had happened on the screen, but his niece seemed satisfied.

  “That was funny. I liked it.” Casey beamed at Nolan. “Thanks for bringing me. You guys probably wanted some mushy romance movie.” She crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue. “Next time you can go together.”

  He elbowed her. “Not mushy romance! Anything but that.” Nolan looked at Jody. “How ‘bout you? Was it okay?”

  “It was fine. I liked it too.” Not that she understood the thrill of brightly colored characters dancing perfectly to musical numbers, but Casey had seemed excited. The best part for her had been breathing in Nolan’s cologne, sharing the popcorn, and forgeting about the outside wor
ld for a while. The magic of movies.

  They filed out of the aisle, then out the theater door. It was a pity the night had to end. She’d enjoyed getting to know Casey over dinner. The girl was every bit as energetic and horse-crazy as Dusty.

  A pang filled Jody’s chest. Right about where the lump grew in her breast. Joy might’ve loved horses too, if she’d grown up in Jody’s family.

  Thank God she didn’t. If things had been different, if Jody hadn’t been so young and stupid, maybe Joy would be here now, with them.

  Except she wouldn’t. She was sick. It was easy to picture her healthy. Even though Jody didn’t know her daughter, she didn’t want to think about her in any way but healthy.

  She followed Nolan and Casey out of the theater to the parking lot draped with twilight.

  “Maybe we could stop for an ice cream?” Casey made it sound casual, but it was clear she wasn’t ready to go home yet.

  “What do you think, Jody? Do we have time for ice cream?”

  “Gosh, I’m so full from the popcorn…but I’m fine with staying out a while longer.” The evening air was still ripe with humidity, but she wasn’t ready to face her empty rental house.

  “We can walk. There’s a place down the street.” Casey bounced on the toes of her tennis shoes. “They have great sundaes.”

  “The kid speaks the truth. Best sundaes in Swells.” Nolan looped his arm around Jody’s shoulders. “I could use something sweet.”

  The way he looked at her indicated he wanted much more than ice cream.

  His hand slid down her arm until he took her hand. She twined her fingers between his. Such an easy gesture. She never wanted him to let go.

  If they’d been downtown, everything would’ve been closed up, but the obviously newer section of town still bustled with people and a strip mall. The lights were bright against the purple, orange and pink of the sunset.