Jude

by Kate Morgenroth

  Harry immediately softened. “Of course not,” he said. “I know you would never do anything, but I thought that someone on your staff …”

  “And that I knew about it and covered it up?”

  “No,” Harry said. “You’re right, of course, but there has to be something. I can’t believe that even Deberry would have the nerve to just make it up.”

  “And that’s what everybody in the city is going to think too,” Anna said. “Hell, you did. If you believe it, what chance do I have?” She stooped to pick up the paper and refolded it neatly, but the headline was still visible. She stared at it a moment, then reached out and folded it once more, corner to corner, as if in defeat.

  “Don’t worry, we’re not beaten yet,” Harry urged, finding a little confidence now that Anna had apparently lost hers. “I know some people in their camp that owe me a few favors. I’ll get to the bottom of this,” he promised.

  Jude watched from the back of the kitchen, gripping the counter behind him as if he needed it to keep from falling. He meant to speak. He meant to open his mouth and confess everything, but he hesitated. His courage failed him, and then Anna was up and gathering her things, and Harry was talking again, and they were gone. Gone, along with his last chance to confess. Now he was just waiting to be found out.

  He didn’t have to wait long.

  IT WAS SUNDAY afternoon. Anna was at the office—where she spent most of her weekends now. Jude was in the study with the curtains drawn. The sun seeped into the room around the edges of the window, outlining it in light. The TV was on but muted, and Jude was dozing on the couch, a stack of schoolbooks unopened on the floor beside him.

  The soft click of the door woke him. When he opened his eyes, he saw Harry standing there. “It’s you,” Harry said softly.

  Jude quickly sat up, but he didn’t reply; he knew what Harry was referring to.

  Harry crossed the room and took a seat near the couch. There was a long, heavy silence, then Harry spoke again.

  “I have to admit I underestimated you, Jude. You had me fooled. I didn’t realize how much you hated her. Have you been planning it for a long time? I’m just curious.”

  Harry was so calm. Jude had not expected him to be this calm. Jude felt anything but calm.

  “No, I swear, you’ve got it all wrong,” Jude protested. “All I did was take this one kid from my school to my old neighborhood.”

  “Took him to your old neighborhood to buy drugs,” Harry completed the sentence. “You knew about Anna’s drug policy. You knew that if it ever got out that her son was dealing, she would be ruined. So what exactly did you think you were doing? Helping?”

  “No … I mean …”

  Harry waited a moment, but Jude couldn’t think what to say.

  “You know, I’ve always stood up for you, Jude. When you got in those fights, I took your side and told her that it was the way you grew up and it wasn’t your fault. Then when your mother got frustrated with your grades and your attitude, I told her that you were trying your best. But this time …”

  “Wait, Harry, let me explain. I didn’t sell them the drugs,” he said in a rush. “I didn’t mean to hurt her. Nick came and asked me to take him where he could get some, and I swear it was going to be just that once. I thought it couldn’t hurt if I took him once, but then he kept asking me, and he was my friend … but when I found out she was running for mayor, I stopped. That’s when Nick started dealing himself. I didn’t have anything to do with it. I know I shouldn’t have taken him back there, but I never sold him anything. You’ve got to believe me.”

  Harry listened in silence. When Jude finished, he said, “It doesn’t much matter if I believe you or not. It doesn’t matter that you didn’t actually sell it—if that’s the truth. The real issue is what the public will think when they find out that you were the one who made it possible for Nick to get his first hit. The mayor’s people are still gathering their facts. My friend tells me that it’ll be a few more days before they have enough legal proof to go ahead with the story, but then they’re going to spring the whole thing. Apparently the cops have seen you going to a known drug location a number of times.”

  “But Anna never knew about that,” Jude said.

  “It doesn’t matter. The fact is, the police never reported you because you’re the DA’s son. Even if people believe that Anna didn’t know, what does that say? Her own son is helping his friends to buy drugs, and the biggest plank on her platform is her antidrug stance. How does that make her look? Like a good candidate for mayor? Like someone who’s going to be able to run an entire city?”

  “I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s too late for sorry. You should have thought of that a long time ago. Or at the very least, you could have said something right after it happened. Then maybe I could have done some damage control. Now I can’t think how it could be worse. I’m going to have to advise her not even to bother filing for candidacy. Truthfully, I don’t think she’ll be able to hold on to the DA’s position either.”

  “Harry, tell me what to do. I’ll do anything. I swear. I’ll tell you who sold the drugs to Nick. It was an old friend of mine, and he left town, but you could probably find him.”

  “We could have used that a week ago, but it’s too late for that now.”

  Jude should have been relieved that he wouldn’t have to betray R. J., but he wasn’t.

  “Then what can I do? There’s got to be something,” he insisted.

  Harry shook his head.

  “Anything.”

  Harry paused for a moment. “Well …”

  Hope sprang up. “Tell me,” Jude pleaded.

  “I don’t think that you’d be able to do it.”

  “I could,” he said eagerly. “I swear. Anything.”

  Harry uncrossed his legs now, planted his elbows on his knees. “You’d have to let Anna discover that you were the one who sold Nick the drugs.”

  “What? But I didn’t.”

  “It doesn’t matter whether you did or not. The point is you make her think you did, and not only that, but let her discover that you’re still selling.”

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  Harry leaned back in his chair. “You wanted to know what you could do. Well, that’s what you could do. That’s the only way. I didn’t think you’d have the guts.”

  “Wait, I didn’t say I wouldn’t do it. What happens when I make her think that I’m selling?”

  “She sets you up for a sting, and you let her do it.”

  “Then what? I go to jail or something?”

  Jude was joking, but Harry said, “That’s the idea, but you’re only sixteen. It would be juvenile detention.”

  “But how would it help?”

  “First of all, the mayor’s people won’t take it to the press if there’s an investigation in progress. Then they won’t be able to claim that the DA isn’t pursuing it.”

  “So why can’t you just have an investigation and have them discover that I didn’t do anything wrong?” Jude said.

  “I already explained why that wouldn’t work. You took your friends back to buy drugs. You might not have actually sold to them, but that won’t make a difference. Anna’s run for mayor will be over. But if you let her discover that you’re involved and she turns you in, then there’s no way that the mayor would be able to make her look too weak for the job. If the press is handled correctly, it will show how far she is prepared to go to make West Hartford safe from drugs.”

  “Have you already talked to Anna about this?” Jude asked uneasily.

  “Absolutely not. Anna doesn’t know anything about it. She can’t know anything about it. For this to work she has to think it’s real.”

  “You mean that she’ll really think …”

  “That you’re dealing. Yes, for a while she would have to think that.”

  “That’s worse. That would be like everything you said before was true. For me to be dealing, and to keep on doi
ng it even after Nick … How can I let her think I’d do that?”

  “Like I said, it’s going to take some guts.”

  “I don’t know,” Jude said. “Isn’t there anything else, Harry?”

  “Nothing. A week ago, maybe. Now there’s nothing else. Don’t think about what she’s going to feel when she finds out you’re dealing. Not only will you fix the situation, the coverage on this could get her elected, and it would be because of you. Think of that.”

  Jude thought of it. Hadn’t she said that she wanted to be mayor more than anything? He could give her that. Then she’d have a reason to say, “Thank God those detectives found that envelope. I don’t know what I would have done without you, Jude.”

  Then something else occurred to him. “Wait, how long would I have to spend in juvie?”

  “Only until after the election,” Harry said. “A month or two at most. Then we’ll get you a new trial, and with the real evidence you’ll be acquitted.”

  Jude returned to the issue that bothered him even more than the time in juvie. “Can’t we let Anna in on it from the beginning?” he asked again.

  Harry shook his head decisively. “No way. She’d never go for it. Plus she’s a terrible liar. She has to believe it. I’m not going to sit here and tell you it’s going to be easy. I’ll do my best to make sure that you don’t see her much, but I can promise you that there will be times you’ll want to tell her everything, and you won’t be able to. You need to look beyond that.”

  Jude thought about what it would be like when she found out the truth. He would just have to keep thinking about that moment. That would make it all worth it. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll do it.”

  16

  JUDE SAT AT the desk in his room staring at the web of budding branches outside his window—waiting. The air was so still that he could have been looking at a picture instead of a window. He checked his watch, though he knew the time wouldn’t tell him anything. Harry hadn’t said when the phone call would come. Just that it would be tonight.

  Through the branches Jude could see patches of gray sky. In the afternoon his room usually got a ray or two of light from the sun before it disappeared, but today was overcast, and the light faded almost imperceptibly until he realized that he was sitting there in the dark. Jude switched on the light. Harry had said that everything needed to look right—and a dark house wouldn’t look right.

  The light changed the room, and it suddenly seemed impossible to continue to sit there doing nothing. Jude opened the backpack at his feet, fished out his math book and a pad of paper, and was just opening the book when the phone rang.

  Even though he had been expecting it, he jumped at the sound. Jude stood up quickly, almost knocking over the chair.

  Jude reached the phone just as the first ring died away, but he waited. It was crucial to the plan that the answering machine picked up before he did. Then the whole conversation would be audible through the speaker, and if Harry got the timing right, that’s just when Anna would be coming in through the door.

  It rang a second time. He heard the machine downstairs click on and Anna’s voice saying, “You’ve reached …” He lifted the receiver to his ear.

  “Hello?” He heard a voice say something, but he couldn’t make it out over Anna’s voice saying, “We’re not home right now….”

  “Hold on,” Jude said, “the machine’s going.”

  He waited for the message to finish. Anna’s voice said, “Please leave a message after the beep.”

  “Hello?” Jude said, and he could hear his voice, picked up by the machine, echoing through the downstairs. He thought he also heard the sound of a key in the lock.

  “Jude?” It sounded like a boy’s voice. Harry hadn’t told him who it would be. He had just instructed Jude to act like he knew the kid.

  “Yeah.”

  “It’s me. Listen, I’m calling because I need some smack.”

  “I thought I told you not to call me here,” Jude said.

  “Yeah, I know, but I’m having a party this weekend.”

  “What are you trying to do, get me put away?”

  “I know, I know, but I figured your mom wouldn’t be home yet. I wouldn’t have called, but it’s an emergency.”

  “I told you I’m holding off for a while until everything calms down.”

  “But that was, like, two weeks ago,” the voice wheedled. “And I’ve got a bunch of friends that want some too, so it would be a big purchase. We’d make it worth it for you, I promise.”

  No matter how he strained his ears, Jude could hear nothing from downstairs. Not a sound.

  “How much would you want?” he asked.

  “We’d buy an eight ball.”

  “That much? You know if you OD on this shit too, I’ll kill you,” Jude said.

  “Nothing like that’s gonna happen. I swear.”

  Jude gave in, as scripted. “All right. You’re so pathetic, I’ll do it.”

  “Thanks. Thanks, man.”

  “But not at school. I’ll meet you in the park. I’ll be at the statue near the northwest entrance.”

  “Could we do it tomorrow?”

  “The day after,” Jude said. “At twelve.”

  “Great. Thanks again.”

  “Whatever. See you Wednesday.”

  “Yeah, Wednesday. I swear I won’t forget this.”

  Jude hung up. As he took his hand away from the receiver, he found that it was shaking. Heading slowly for the stairs, he thought he heard the sound of the front door closing. When he reached the hallway, he couldn’t help it. He looked through the front window just in time to see a car—Harry’s car—disappearing around the corner. That’s how Harry had managed the timing; he’d been the one to drive her.

  Jude turned away from the window and crossed to the answering machine and deleted the message.

  PER HARRY’S INSTRUCTIONS Jude followed his regular routine that night. He forced himself to eat at least part of the dinner Dolores had left for him. Then he sat in front of the TV until eleven. From nine o’clock on he couldn’t have said what he watched. He was waiting for Anna to return home.

  But she didn’t come.

  Jude went to bed at eleven thirty, but he didn’t sleep. He just lay in bed and watched the clock: twelve, twelve thirty, one, one thirty, two. At two twenty he heard her. She moved around downstairs for a few minutes before he heard her climb the stairs. Then the door to her bedroom clicked shut.

  The next morning when Jude woke, again he didn’t vary from his regular morning habits, but when he descended the stairs, his heart was thumping as if he’d just run a marathon. When he rounded the corner into the kitchen, there was no one there. He took three steps to the table and sat down, his legs suddenly shaky. There on the table in front of him he found the note. It read: “Had an early-morning meeting. Might not be back until very late tonight. Don’t wait up.”

  He crumpled it in his fist.

  He found he couldn’t face the idea of breakfast. Instead he remounted the stairs to collect his things for school. His math book was still open on the desk, the blank sheet of paper beside it. He stuffed the book into his bag and hurried back down. All at once he couldn’t wait to get out, even if he had to wait at the bus stop in the cold for half an hour. The house seemed unnaturally quiet. He grabbed his jacket from the closet and headed toward the front door, but just as he was reaching for the knob it turned on its own and the door opened.

  Jude took a step back, but it was only Harry.

  “What are you doing here?” Jude said. “I thought we were supposed to meet later.” Then in almost the same breath, “So how did it go?”

  Harry looked over Jude’s shoulder. “Is Anna here?”

  Jude gave him a disgusted look. “What do you think I am, stupid?”

  “Did you see her this morning?”

  “She left before I came downstairs,” Jude said.

  “Okay, let’s go talk in the kitchen,” and Harry walked past him
to the back of the house. Jude followed.

  Harry went to the counter and got out a mug. He felt the side of the coffeepot, made a face, and put the mug back. “Left a good while ago, did she?”

  “I don’t know,” Jude said.

  Harry moved to the other cupboard and took down a glass this time. “So …” He opened the fridge, got out the orange juice, and poured himself a glass. “Better for me than coffee anyway,” he said. He took a sip and leaned back against the counter. “Well, it worked.”

  “Oh?” Jude replied, but what he wanted to say was, “What the hell does that mean?”

  “It’s the reason I’m here now instead of meeting up later. There are going to be a couple of plainclothes watching the house starting this morning—in case you change the meeting place. Though they’re depending on the fact that you said you’re not going to do it in school. They can’t exactly follow you from classroom to classroom. It would be a bit obvious, wouldn’t it?”

  Jude didn’t realize he’d been holding his breath until he tried to speak. “So she reported it to the police?”

  “Yes, of course. Though I have to admit I was worried for a bit there. When she came out of the house and got back into the car, I thought that something had gone wrong. She was quiet, so I knew that she’d heard something, but she didn’t say anything, and I couldn’t exactly ask her. She waited at least ten minutes—we were almost back at the office—before she told me. I was already trying to think of a backup plan. I never in a million years imagined that she would think of covering for you for ten seconds, much less ten minutes.”

  Ten minutes. Ten whole minutes she hadn’t spoken. Even Harry, who knew her better than anybody, never thought she’d hesitate. Jude felt a surge of emotion … until Harry offered an alternate explanation.

  “But more likely she didn’t say anything because she was worried about her career. Same thing happened back when your father was beating up on her. She didn’t want to go public with it because she was afraid of what it would do to her career to admit that she was a victim of domestic violence at the same time she was prosecuting domestic violence cases. I was actually the one who convinced her she could turn it to her advantage. And the timing was perfect—with her being pregnant with you. It made a nice little story. Mother protecting her child and all that.”