James Graham Plays 2

by James Graham

The Expert The age-old habit of biting it instead; bad for your teeth. There are also, more importantly, fingerprints. No matches, which means they have no previous.

  The Commander Oddly careless, though, leaving fingerprints. Maybe it’s deliberate.

  Smith Unlikely, I’d say, as they didn’t intend for us to extract them.

  The Commander How so?

  Smith Because they expected the bomb to go off.

  Beat. He continues . . .

  The Commander There have been more. Sir John Rawlinson. Our police commissioner. A bomb at his house in Roehampton, last autumn. Sir Peter Waldron, of the High Court. House firebombed before Christmas. We have been trying to – ‘join the dots’. What connects an airline with the Metropolitan Police with judges with banks with embassies. Other than them all being – the ‘establishment’. Order.

  Smith All this going on. Why are we – respectfully – only acting now?

  Beat.

  The Commander Do you know anything – about politics? Detective Sergeant.

  Smith Politics? Not too much, sir, no. As much as anyone else I suppose. I vote.

  The Commander Do you?

  Smith Well yeah, it . . . it’s important to vote. Isn’t it?

  A moment.

  The Commander (slides him a file) Do you know who that is?

  Smith (looks) No, sir.

  The Commander That is a politician. The Minister for Employment. Last night, at his home in north London, the Minister was in his study, his 13-year-old daughter was playing the piano in the living room and his wife was in the kitchen. At approximately twenty-two hundred hours, the back door of his house . . . it blew off.

  Smith It blew off?

  The Commander And as the family made their way through the hallway towards the front of the house to escape via the front door . . . well the front door blew off as well. Two bombs. Designed to kill.

  Smith May I ask a direct question, Mister Bond?

  The Commander You may.

  Smith Is it the Irish?

  The Commander examines his glasses.

  The Commander Detective Sergeant Smith.

  He puts his glasses back on.

  You are going to wish it were the Irish.

  The Expert clicks a clicker.

  The room goes dark as a projector hits the wall displaying a slide, with the handwritten word ‘ANGRY’, projected large.

  She moves the slide to reveal a full handwritten A4 letter.

  The third slide focuses in on the title.

  COMMUNIQUÉ 1.

  The next slide focuses in on the next sentence – and so on. All of these phrases are projected large on the screen which buzzes ominously. Nobody speaks. Just the sound of the slides clattering through the carousel.

  FASCISM AND OPPRESSION

  WILL BE SMASHED.

  EMBASSIES.

  HIGH PIGS.

  SPECTACLES

  JUDGES

  PROPERTY.

  SIGNED . . .

  ‘THE ANGRY BRIGADE’.

  Smith They’ve written to you?

  The Expert A communiqué, if we’re to adopt their own parlance, sent both to the police and the press.

  The Commander Press co-operating, under a blackout, for the time being.

  The Expert The address on the envelope is printed using some kind of children’s stencil set.

  Smith And they actually numbered the communiqué – with a ‘1’.

  The Expert Implying more to come, yes. ‘Embassies’, that speaks for itself. ‘High pigs’, we must assume senior police officers. ‘Spectacles’, we’ve drawn a complete blank on that one. ‘Judges’, pretty obvious. Finally ‘Property’, well I guess that’s every attack ever. So –

  Smith What’s the French connection?

  The Commander Gene Hackman?

  Smith No I mean what’s the connection with the French. The gelatin, you said.

  The Expert We haven’t made one yet.

  Smith (thinking) Paris ’68, students, the uprising?

  Who do we have as our go-to for this kind of thing? Youth activism, revolutionary anarchism, political radicalism.

  The Commander Like I said, Smith. This is new. These people have no previous, no faces, no names. We are starting from scratch. Thank you, doctor. (The Expert exits.)

  Now that a cabinet minister is a target, the Prime Minister is involved. These orders come straight from him. He telephoned the Commissioner personally this morning.

  Smith The Prime Minister? I bet he was . . . ‘angry’. Mister Bond.

  The Commander Actually, Smith, the Commissioner said he just sounded scared . . .

  We’re forming a squad, upstairs, led by DCS Habershon, entirely confidential and off the books. You will be heading up a secret sub-division within the secret squad, down here, accountable directly only to Habershon and myself.

  Smith Sir.

  The Commander (handing him a sheet) Your team. All ‘young’, just like you.

  Smith May I ask . . . why? Mister Bond. Why this subdivision? Why us?

  The Commander (pacing, cleaning his glasses) I’ve spent my entire working life in the force, you know. It’s in my blood. Started on the beat. My tools were a pencil and a regular stride. Into CID, the Yard. We were cutting edge, you know, an exciting new world of forensics, fingerprints. We knew how to get into the mind of the criminal. They would make mistakes because of their weaknesses, and leave clues for us to make deductions from. A bank robber is driven by greed. A rapist by lust.

  But these people? Terrorists. They’re educated. Young. And they’re homegrown. The first of their kind. They’re driven by . . . an ‘idea’.

  And I . . . I don’t know how to catch an idea.

  A humble moment. He finishes cleaning his glasses. Looks at Smith.

  The Commander What do you need?

  Beat.

  Smith Books. I’m going to need lots of books.

  Scene Two

  Against the darkness, another communiqué lights up on the projection screen.

  COMMUNIQUÉ 4.

  WE’RE GETTING CLOSER . . .

  Lights up on the basement office.

  Resembling more an office now, which Smith has been – and is still – assembling.

  Four desks – on each one, a massive stack of books.

  Henderson is stood, now out of her uniform and in her civvies which, privately, she constantly tugs and pulls at, rearranging. She indicates a desk to drop her box onto.

  Henderson Is this one alright, sir?

  Smith Less of the ‘sirs’, Henderson. You’re a Detective Constable now.

  Henderson I didn’t know what to do, I’m so used to just slipping on the uniform every day, I don’t think I’ll get used to it. Choice! I can’t be doing with choice, choice takes up time in the morning.

  Morris knocks and enters.

  Morris DS Smith? DC Morris. I was – they told me to report to –

  Smith Do come in. This is DC Henderson.

  Henderson How do you do.

  Morris Right, yes, how do you do. Hah. So what’s going on then? Feels like the kiddy table at a wedding. Don’t the grown-ups want us to play with them no more?

  Smith On the contrary, they’ve entrusted in all of us . . .

  Some noise, footsteps, emanating from upstairs. They briefly look up.

  . . . a very serious responsibility.

  Parker knocks and enters.

  Parker WPC Parker, reporting.

  Smith Come in.

  Parker (to Henderson) You’re out of uniform, Henderson.

  Smith DC Henderson has been temporarily promoted, WPC Parker.

  Henderson Yes that’s – (to Smith) – temporar . . .? Right.

  Parker (at Morris) Parker.

  Morris Yeah we met, up in Hendon. Morris. We were in the same ballistics class.

  Parker OK.

  Smith So
if I may have your attention?

  There’s a certain amount of straightening up and standing to attention.

  First off, in this office from now on, you may give your attention without ‘standing to it’. I’d like this environment to be informal. We’re going to need to be free in our thinking if we’re to succeed. So please. Relax.

  The others do a relatively poor job of relaxing, but they can’t change who they are. Yet.

  Secondly, these are not criminals. Their motivation is political which upgrades them to ‘terrorists’. But as our intelligence suggests, these are not of foreign descent. They are our neighbours. The people we stand next to in the street. An enemy within.

  We believe we are the same age as the people we aim to catch, but the similarities end there. They see the world very differently to us. And have made very different choices as a result. They don’t understand us, and we don’t understand them. They are trying to destroy us, so we are going to catch them. And in order to catch them, we must understand them.

  He begins tossing books out to the room.

  We will read what they have been reading. Listen to what they listen to, go where they go, think the way they think.

  Morris You want us to read, sir?

  Henderson Less of the ‘sirs’, Morris, you may refer to Mister Smith as Mister Smith.

  Morris I haven’t read a book since school and even then I didn’t read it.

  Parker What are they, sir? – Mister Smith, sir – sorry.

  Smith That’s alright, relax.

  Parker I’m definitely relaxed, I’m sorry.

  Morris (looking at his) You don’t see many o’ these in Menzies, do you?

  Smith These books I obtained from an alternative bookshop in Camden. Hangouts for the young and disenfranchised. A range of European literature. Recall, the Heathrow bomb target was an Iberia Airlines flight. Iberia is the flag-carrying airline of Spain where such anarchistic activities have long been – active, and that particular attempt had all the hallmarks of the First of May Group – a radical urban guerrilla collective that launches attacks against the Franco regime.

  Parker Why are they called First of May?

  Smith I don’t know – write that down; all of you. Be sure to assemble a list of things that none of us know so that we may go off and know them.

  He writes the names of these groups onto a flipchart.

  In Germany, we have Baader-Meinhof, in Spain, First of May, in France, they have the Situationists. It is my inquiries into the Situationists that led me to decipher the one unidentified target listed on Communiqué 1, leading me to believe that our targets are being supplied or at least influenced by a European faction.

  He turns on the slide projector. ‘Spectacles’ is displayed on the screen. Smith Spectacles.

  Morris They’re not going after Dollond & Aitchison, are they?

  Smith No. Although, in a way, yes. They are.

  He holds up a book.

  Guy Dubord. French radical, author of The Society of the Spectacle. The basic premise is that we no longer live real, truthful lives. We live a representation, an ‘imitation’, of the lives we see in advertisements, read in magazines, watch at the pictures. And this all serves to distract us. Blind us. From – real life. Real – feelings.

  Parker I don’t understand, so according to this lot I’m not really alive?

  Smith You are alive, Parker, yes, but you are not ‘living’. Your existence is a carbon copy of what you think it should be, whether that be marriage or a new refrigerator.

  Parker I like my new fridge. I want to get married. They can jolly well bog off.

  Henderson (showing her ring) I’m getting married, next summer.

  Parker Awh lovely, next summer? Quite a wait.

  Henderson Well, Roger has to save up, doesn’t he, and there’s so much to do.

  Morris Eighteen months, me, shackled to the old ball and chain. Just had a little ’un too; little boy.

  Smith And all of that, your lifestyle, that is what they are trying to ‘release’ you from. To them, you’re all living in an open prison.

  Parker I’ve heard Harlesden called a lot of things, but it’s hardly a prison.

  Smith Spectacles make you think you have chosen to live in Harlesden because you are unaware of the alternatives.

  Parker I’m aware of them.

  Smith You think you have free will but you don’t.

  Parker Brent Cross. Neasden –

  Smith They mean alternatives to your job, to your taxes, to your alarm clock, to your dinner times, your traditional marriage –

  Henderson (stands; goes to the board of names) So all these foreign terrorist, anarchist groups, whatever –

  Morris Bunch of young berks is what I’d call ’em, need a proper day’s work.

  Henderson You think this lot – our lot – are the British equivalent?

  Smith writes ‘The Angry Brigade’ onto the list, underneath the rest.

  Smith Yes, DC Henderson. I do.

  Morris (raising his hand) Question.

  Smith You don’t have to raise your hand, Morris –

  Morris Actually it’s two questions. (Raising his other one.)

  Smith Regardless, you still don’t have to –

  Morris Are you married, Mister Smith?

  Henderson Morris, don’t ask a senior officer questions / about his personal –

  Morris He said speak freely!

  Smith It’s alright, Henderson. It’s OK.

  Yes, I am married. Three years in July.

  Henderson Awh, any sprogs?

  Smith A young girl, yes. Elizabeth.

  Morris (salutes) Like the Queen. Huh.

  Smith Yes. Well.

  And the second?

  Morris . . . ey?

  Henderson Don’t say ‘ey’, say ‘what’. I mean don’t say ‘what’, say ‘pardon’.

  Morris Blimey, ‘pardon’.

  Smith You said you had two questions, the first was ‘am I married’, and the second is . . .?

  Morris Oh yeah, I remember. What I don’t understand is . . . what do they want? This ‘Angry’ lot. What is it that they want?

  Parker To cause trouble. Hooligans, vandals, thugs –

  Smith Morris has asked a very important question, though. The most important question, actually. Let us begin.

  Lights down.

  Lights almost instantly up.

  Smith is at the flipchart drawing a diagram. A horizontal line with ‘COMMUNISM’ labelled on the left, and ‘FASCISM’ on the right.

  Smith So what about socialism then? Left wing or right?

  Morris is flicking through a book.

  Henderson On the left.

  Smith Further left than communism?

  Parker Less, I’d say.

  Henderson Well so would I, if I’d been allowed to –

  Parker My old man, that’s what he describes himself as. Just Labour isn’t it.

  Smith (writing) Yes, so about here.

  Parker Not that he’s one of those whatsits, before anyone calls the secret service. God what do I mean, what are they called? Reds under the bed – that’s it. He’s just a unionist.

  Smith So.

  Parker Trade, not Irish.

  Smith Where would we place anarchism? Then. As a political doctrine. Where do those whom we seek sit along this spectrum?

  Parker Left?

  Smith Right.

  Parker Oh sorry then, right.

  Smith No I meant ‘right’. Left. As in correct, yes.

  Henderson But wait a minute let me just – (thinks) right, so anarchy is about no rules, isn’t it? No government, or big authorities. Well that’s right wing, isn’t it? ‘Small state’, ‘freedom’, that’s on the right. Socialism and communism, that’s about government controlling everything. That’s what anarchists are against, so they can’t be lef
t.

  Smith But on the right, they wish to preserve the status quo. The left aspire to a classless society. So is it a paradox?

  Morris (puts his hand up) Mister Smith – sorry (puts his hand down) – Mister Smith? I think I may be able to help.

  Smith offers Morris the pen. Morris stands and approaches the board, drawing.

  Morris I would posit that (smiles at the others) – ‘posit’ – I would posit that the political spectrum is not a line from left to right at all, oh no, it’s a circle. When you go as far left as communism, which believes in equality and class-less-lessness, the tyranny that is required to enforce such a change moves it all the way back to right-wing fascism. The further right the further left, the further left, the further right and so on.

  Henderson So where would you ‘posit’ anarchism, then, professor?

  Morris I would posit-tion it – hah – erm, here.

  He draws it in the middle of the circle.

  Outside of the political sphere because it rejects any organised body.

  Smith Very instructive, Morris.

  Morris (flicking through a book) I’m quite enjoying all this, good for the old noggin.

  Parker Well? What’s the answer?

  Smith I’m not sure that there is one.

  A phone rings. Morris answers it just as –

  Smith Just ignore it.

  Morris Oh. I already answered it.

  Smith Fine.

  Morris Should I put it down?

  Smith No, you’ve answered it, just, take a message and then put it down.

  Morris (into the phone) Hello?

  Smith So the attack on the Minister for Employment’s house. Was it an attack on the government, or the police? Was it an attack on the Conservative government in particular, or on this individual minister –?

  Morris I’m sorry, Mister Smith –

  Smith Please, Morris, just put the phone down.

  Morris She says it’s your wife.

  Smith . . . it – (sighs) OK, I’ll – (Moving to his desk phone.)

  Morris (into the phone) He says he’ll call you back.

  Smith No, don’t do that, I’m here now. Transfer her through.

  Morris What extension?

  Smith (looking at his phone) I don’t know.

  Parker (handing Morris a sheet) Here’s the new numbers.

  Morris Yeah but which one’s which, they’re not labelled.

  Smith Look, why don’t I – (Puts his phone down.)