Bearing It All

by Tl Reeve

  “He’s your mate,” Loraine said, from behind the closed door.

  “I ... technically he isn’t anything right now, but the potential is there to maybe ... you know,” Emma answered.

  Loraine snorted. “He’s your mate. Question is, are you going to take the bull by the horns, or are you going to tiptoe around him this whole trip?”

  The thought of consummating their mating there, with his family around, had her shrinking away from the idea. “I don’t think ... I mean ... we have time, right? If he decides we should mate it’s not like we have to do it here.”

  “You’ll get over your shyness, too,” the woman said, before turning on the water. “Trust me. It’s the hardest part, but once you do, it’s worth it.”

  “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Blake and Jace?” Loraine opened the door.

  Emma nodded.

  “They are lovers, and I share both of them. It’s different, but it works for us. I accept them, and,” she rubbed her belly, “they accept me.”

  “When are you due?”

  Loraine smiled. “Any day now. The doctor is surprised I went this long. Well,” she laughed. “Our doctor is also a vet.”

  Wait. What? She quirked a brow, and Loraine laughed harder. “Uhhh ...”

  “It’s a joke. Danielle is the pack healer and a veterinarian. She thinks by the full moon, I should have them.”

  The full moon was within a week’s time. “Wow. So, we made it just in time?”

  “I suppose you did,” the woman answered. “Come on, let’s get back before our mates send out a search party for us.”

  “They’d do that?” Emma couldn’t believe what Loraine said.

  “Oh, honey, you have so much to learn about this family.”

  Chapter Four

  Bodhi no sooner joined his uncles and father along with the Dryer clan at the fire pit so they could have a beer, then his uncle Kalkin started in.

  “You know she’s your mate, right?” Kalkin took a drink from his bottle.

  Leave it to his uncle to ask before he even got his first sip of beer. “I’m aware,” he replied before taking a long pull from his beer.

  “Bet you haven’t knotted her, yet,” Kal stated, watching him intently.

  “You know he hasn’t. The sweet, little bear doesn’t have a hint of his scent on her,” Rapier added.

  “Does he even know what to do?” Wy, Rapier’s brother, teased. “If you’re wondering insert A into B.”

  Kalkin snorted. “He’s a Raferty. He knows how to get his dick wet. From what I heard, he’s been doing it since he was fourteen.”

  Fuck. Me.

  It was going to be one of those conversations. Bodhi loved his family, he did, but he had no desire to talk about mating, sex, or sex with Emma while his dick still ached from sitting next to her the entire drive. “How the hell did you know that?” he snapped.

  Kalkin cocked his brow.

  “We kept tabs on you,” Caden answered. “We wanted to make sure you weren’t doing stupid shit.”

  “Right, because no Raferty male has ever done something stupid,” Rapier said, a wicked grin on his lips.

  “Fuck off,” Caden spat. “Your family is no better.”

  Kal chuckled. “Now, children.” His tone became condescending. “This ain’t about us, it’s about the boy.”

  He cringed every time the adult males referred to him as a boy. When would they ever see him as an equal?

  “How long have you known?” Nico hedged.

  He rubbed the label off the bottle with his thumb, then took a long sip hoping to delay the inevitable of telling them the truth. He’d known for ten months Emma was his mate. He realized it the first time he saw her, scented her. He hadn’t done a thing about it because she seemed clueless and timid. It took this trip, in Jackson’s truck, to find out how wrong he was with his assumptions. He glanced up. His gaze clashed with Kal’s. Bodhi swore with just one look, Kalkin could always make him talk.

  “A while,” he finally admitted.

  “Maybe he's scared of the knot,” Wy said.

  Not in this lifetime.

  Both the man and the wolf craved to knot Emma during the full moon. Each month, he made himself stay as far away from her as possible during that time. He knew if he saw her, or got a whiff of her sweet scent, he’d do something stupid. Like mate her before she was ready.

  “I used to hate the full moon, now I can’t wait for it to come. There is nothing like knotting your mate.” Caden announced.

  Looking at his aunt Dani might be difficult going forward thanks to that little tidbit. “TMI,” he grunted.

  Cade smirked. Which meant he had no intention of dropping it. “You could be like this one.” He gestured to his twin. “And knot your mate outside of the full moon.”

  The bottle slipped from between his fingers, making a loud thunk when it hit the rocky ground and spilled beer at his feet.

  What? That was impossible. Wasn’t it? Everything he’d been told, said it only happened during the full moon. The popping and hissing of the alcohol hitting the fire, covered the shocked silence.

  Bodhi’s gaze darted to where Kal lounged, glaring at his twin. “Asshole,” Kal growled, smacking Caden on the back of his head. Bodhi winced. He knew it hurt, having felt it several times himself. “How’d you even find out?”

  “Keeley and Dani tell each other everything, and I mean everything.”

  “Bullshit. Keeley would never,” Kal snapped.

  “Wanna bet?” Caden rubbed the back of his head. “I’ve known since Dani and I got together.”

  “You little shit, and, let me guess, you’ve been dying for the right conversation to drop your little golden nugget of information into. Only took you, what, fourteen years, dickhead.”

  “How about them Cardinals? We almost made it to the Super Bowl this year. Maybe next year,” Mac said, obviously trying to prevent an argument between the hot-headed twins. No doubt Uncle Kal would win. He always won. It didn’t stop Caden from pushing his buttons, though.

  “Who gives a shit about the Cardinals,” Kal snarled. “I want to know what my little mate is telling her sister.”

  “I want to know about the knotting outside of the full moon,” Bodhi muttered.

  “Damn near everything,” Caden claimed, leaning back in his chair, a shit-eating grin on his face. He gestured his bottle toward his twin. “I always took you for being a dominant. Figured it came with the territory. I just didn't know how kinky of a fucker you were.”

  “Keeley,” Kal bellowed, tipping back his heavy wooden chair as he stood. “Your ass is mine!”

  It was to no one’s surprise when Kal stormed from the circle around the fire pit to find his mate. Bodhi knew, hell, they all did. Kal would find his mate, they’d yell at each other, and then fuck.

  “You did that on purpose,” Royce asserted shaking his head in amusement after several long minutes of silence.

  “Sure as fuck did. Bodhi isn't stupid.” Cade winked at him.

  “Do me a favor, yeah? The next time you want to fuck with Kal, find some other way than using Keely,” Royce warned his uncle. “I don’t appreciate you hanging Keeley’s ass out for him to ream.”

  Although the entire family was tightly knitted, Jace seemed to always favor Dani, and Royce, Keeley. He suspected it had a lot to do with the early years when Royce kept an eye on Keeley, and Jace had Dani's back when Cade was being an ass before he mated his aunt.

  Unable to handle the curiosity any longer, he glanced at the oldest Raferty, Mac, and asked the question that started this shit show. “Can you really knot outside the full moon?”

  Rapier spewed his beer, and Wy chuckled.

  “Don’t fucking look at me,” Mac barked, not amused.

  “It was a rumor. Till Kal. Now, it’s fact. Hasn’t happened to me. Can’t speak for the rest of them,” Caden said gesturing to those around the circle. Bodhi’s gaze followed the circle of the bottle his unc
le used.

  “It's mostly an alpha thing,” Rapier said, his focus on the fire as he poked it with a stick. “Used to ensure the alpha impregnates his mate, so his line will continue.”

  The arguing inside the house stopped, as did the conversation around the fire. He wasn’t sure how long they sat in silence, nor did he care. He only hoped Emma wouldn’t want to run screaming and crying, from his family home tomorrow morning because the Raferty’s were a lot to take in.

  “I swear you were dropped on your head.” Royce shook his head and chuckled after several long minutes of silence.

  “What?” Caden replied like he wasn't sitting there, in the conversation. “When and if he chooses to mate her, isn't anyone's business but theirs. Big, bad alpha can't always be poking his nose into everything.” Cade winked at him.

  “Here.” Saber held out a new bottle of beer he had gotten from the cooler behind him. Leaning forward, Bodhi took it, twisted off the top and guzzled half of it. “You worried about Emma?” the ever-insightful Coyote inquired.

  “Yeah,” he admitted.

  “It isn’t easy being the new kid on the block,” Osrius Blake said. “The females will baby her. Make sure she is comfortable and temper their conversation.”

  “She doesn’t really need to hear Kal and Keeley going at it, her first night here. He already intimidates the hell out of her.”

  “Might be good for her to experience how mates interact, Bodhi. It's the nature of who and what we are. In the long run, it might make it easier for you and her, when the time comes,” Osirus added.

  Knowing both Emma and her sister had lived without their clan, he knew the truth in Osirus’ words. Didn’t make it easier, though. The back-screen door slammed shut and Kal strutted to his seat. Righted it and sat down, like he just didn't have a knock-down fight with his wife, or fuck her. His big body was loose, his hard face relaxed, and his blue eyes were heavy-lidded.

  “That was quick,” Caden commented, obviously not worried his twin would pummel him to the ground.

  Kal huffed. “Not everything has to be full on sex, dipshit.”

  Far from stupid, he knew what his uncle implied. Great. Now, he wouldn’t be able to look at Keeley in the eye the next time he saw her. The way it was going, he wouldn’t be able to look any of his mated family members in the eye.

  Saber handed Kal a beer. Kal twisted off the top, flicked it into the fire and finished the bottle in one gulp.

  “You wanna thank me now or later?” Caden asked.

  Kal, using his massive foot, kicked his brother's chair. He laughed when Caden went tumbling head over ass with the chair.

  Caden, aware he’d pushed his twin enough, stood, brushed off the red dirt clinging to his clothes, then took his chair and moved it across the fire, away from his brother. He positioned himself between Rashid and Cormyr Dryer, a smart move considering what had transpired.

  “I will leap over the fire to beat your ass if you keep it up,” Kal warned.

  They should make a reality show about his family. Totally unscripted and in your face, they’d make a fucking mint. He couldn’t even imagine what Jackson and Christoph thought. Both remained silent and very interested in the bottles of beer they each held in their hands.

  “You realize you'll be here with Emma during the full moon?” Kal stated the obvious, picking up where they’d left off.

  “I’m aware.”

  “Want us to lock you up in the community center for old times’ sake?” Royce snickered while the others laughed.

  “Fuck, no. I can control my baser urges,” he snarled, aware it was getting harder and harder each month.

  How the fuck had Nico survived all those years without Hayden? Nico went through the hell of knowing who his mate was, and not being able to mate her because she was underage. Then, he fucked up. He slept with some out-of-towner at the beginning of the summer before Bodhi and Hayden’s senior year. In one stupid moment, he ruined everything. They left the following summer, and Nico went without her for two years. Nico must've had a massive case of blue balls and a massive hole in his chest. It’d been one of the reasons he decided to help the guy.

  “You deal,” Nico said softly as if reading Bodhi's thoughts. “Because you have no choice. Emma's the perfect mate for you, bro. She just doesn’t realize it.”

  “Any suggestions to move it along?”

  “Force the mating,” Mac suggested.

  “Yeah, I wouldn’t suggest doing that,” Rapier said, having experienced this himself. Of course, they laughed about it, now. But, Rapier and Jasmine didn’t have the most conventional beginning. It seemed the full moon for Raferty and Dryer men meant losing their brains. Rapier had scented Jasmine running through the desert. They practically tumbled into each other, and one thing led to another. “A hostile mate is never a fun deal.”

  “Try wooing her,” his father, Jace finally spoke, breaking his silence. “Women like that shit.”

  “Is that how you finally got Loraine? Or was it Blake?” Caden teased.

  His father simply shrugged, glaring at his brother. “If you want to bring up mistakes we’ve made with our mates, we can start with you first, if you want.”

  Caden abruptly sat back and drank his beer. Blake didn’t say a word, he just laid a hand on his father’s thigh.

  “What I thought, asshole.”

  “Is that what you did?” Bodhi nudged, curious, not for the first time about his dads and mom and their complex relationship. Surprisingly Blake kept silent, letting his dad speak.

  “I fucked up with Loraine,” Jace admitted, and Blake nodded in agreement. “Just like Caden, Rapier, and Nico fucked up with their mates. The fact we have mates doesn't give us a free pass to do whatever we want to them, because they can't run from us. The human part of Emma, like most female mates, want to fall in love. To be showed by their mate they will care about their wants and needs, beyond being fucked outside, or during the full moon. One look at Emma, and you can see she's one who requires it. It's up to you to figure out what'll work for her. Because what worked for Wy, Osrius, or Kal won't work for you. Emma's a female for sure, but they are all different creatures, with different wants and needs.”

  “You also have to realize, mating Emma comes with additional responsibilities. Her sister, Cassidy is still underage. You’ll be a mate and stepdad in one night. You ready for that?” Kal inquired. “If you’re not, you need to walk away from her, now.”

  Bodhi rubbed his hand down his face. His gaze locked on the flickering fire, mesmerized by the red, yellow, and blue of the flames. Walking away from Emma wasn’t a possibility, as far as he was concerned. He already had feelings for the curvy bear. Deep fucking feelings.

  “Bodhi?” Blake said softly, pulling him from his thoughts. “Did you hear Kal?”

  “Yeah.” He stared at his father, then Blake, and finally Kal. He looked his favorite uncle dead on, never wavering. “I'm not walking away. From either of them. Truth be told, I had no clue about Cassidy until today. It surprised me, but it doesn't change a damn thing for me. I get they’re a package deal.”

  Kal, always a man of few words, simply nodded. Bodhi couldn't help but notice the look of pride in the other man's face. “Emma reminds me a lot of your aunt. First time I saw your aunt, bruised and broken, I had moments of wanting to wrap her in my arms and comfort her, to throwing her over my shoulder, and taking her to the spot near the rocks to fuck her till neither of us could see or walk. Keeley was as skittish as a newborn colt. If I had done either of those two things straight away, she would have cut and run. I wouldn't have had the privilege of having her in my life. I sure as shit wouldn't have been blessed with my three pups.”

  Christ, he had never heard his stoic uncle speak this way or string so many sentences together in one sitting. It shocked the hell out of him.

  “I think you dumfounded him, Kal.” Rapier brought his bottle to his lips to take a pull from it.

  “Be honest. Learn from our mistakes
.” Kal said.

  “Think with your dick, but don’t act like you’re thinking with your dick. Least that’s how I got Allie,” Wy added.

  “You're a numb-nuts,” Rapier laughed, slapping a massive hand on his younger brother's shoulder.

  “I'm Allie's numb-nuts, so what the fuck do I care?” Wy smirked, and they all laughed.

  “Bodhi,” Caden said. “All kidding aside. Maybe you should let Emma in, show her who you are and what's important to you.” Caden scratched his beard. “Seems if she is your mate, she should've known more about us, than Kal is the alpha, and he is scary as shit.”

  Damn it, they were right. Every one of them.

  Dropping his head, Bodhi realized he’d lost almost a year with his mate. Instead of dicking around, he should have been more of a presence in her life. Pulled her from her shell. He’d wasted ten months. Ten long, lonely months, where he jerked off multiple times a night. He’d ceased masturbating a couple months ago when it failed to relieve the ache in his balls.

  Regret rolled through him, and Bodhi mourned the last ten months without Emma in his life. Months of not knowing what she wore to bed, or how she slept. Did she prefer the right or left side of the bed? How did she start her mornings? Did she wake up happy, or was she a slug like his sister, who needed ten to fifteen minutes to get out of bed. He'd bet money, his Emma began each morning with a smile, full of life and ready to start her day. But, he didn't know because he thought she'd come to him.

  His approach had been wrong. Emma wasn't bold or confident enough, yet. Her past had taught her not to take risks, to stay in the shadows and out of the spotlight. Never to be content or happy. Bodhi wanted to pull her into the brightness of the sun. Allow her, with him beside her every step of the way, to blossom and experience life to its fullest. Life hadn't shown his mate how to reach for the stars. Only he could do that for her—as conceited as it sounded or as controlling. The first risk he'd need her to take, was for her to realize she was good enough for him. Showing Emma he had come from a less than stellar beginning and struggled early in life, like her, might go a long way with the bear, nudging them closer together.