The Case of the Unfettered Utonagan

by B R Snow

  “That’s why we decided to invite him to dinner,” I said. “You know, so he can relax a bit.”

  “But she’s okay being by herself?” Clarissa said.

  “Larry says she’ll be fine for a few hours,” Josie said, then played the next card perfectly. “What was that thing he was talking about the other day when we ran into him at the store?”

  “It didn’t make a lot of sense,” I said. “He was babbling. Some sort of scientific papers the cops found in Althea’s car.”

  “Scientific papers?” Clarissa said.

  “Yeah,” I said. “Larry thinks they belonged to Peters. Project something or other. It was way over my head.”

  “Mine too,” Josie said. “I wonder how Althea got her hands on them.”

  “Maybe Peters gave them to her for safekeeping,” I said. “Or she stole them.”

  “Well, Althea does have a reputation for playing fast and loose with the rules,” Josie said.

  “I hope she’ll be okay at Larry’s house by herself,” I said.

  “If she weren’t, he wouldn’t have agreed to come to dinner,” Josie said.

  “What sort of injuries does she have?” Clarissa said, casually stirring her drink.

  “Do you remember what Larry said?” Josie said, again leaning forward to make eye contact. “It was a long list.”

  “Broken leg. Maybe a cracked pelvis?” I said, frowning. “I can’t remember all of them.”

  “Lots of cuts,” Josie said. “But the doctors are most worried about the head injury. She’s got a nasty concussion.”

  “Oh,” I said, raising a finger. “Don’t forget the tongue laceration.”

  “Yuk,” Josie said, making a face at me. “Don’t remind me.”

  “She cut her tongue?” Clarissa said.

  “Yeah, it took something like forty stitches to sew it up,” I said. “She almost bit it off on impact.”

  “Suzy,” Josie said with a scowl. “Must you? We’re about to have dinner.”

  “Sorry,” I said. “Larry said she’s still not able to talk.”

  “Really?” Clarissa said. “But she’s able to write stuff down, right? You know, so she can tell people what she needs.”

  “Not with two broken arms,” I said, shaking my head. “So, until she’s a bit better, I guess the cops are going to have to wait to hear her side of the story.”

  “Her side of the story?” Clarissa said, raising an eyebrow at me.

  “Yeah. You know, her take on how she managed to drive her car off a cliff,” I said.

  “Oh, right,” Clarissa said, then drained the last of her drink. “I need to wash up before dinner.”

  “We’ll be here,” I said, watching her head for the bathroom.

  “Well played,” Josie said.

  “You too,” I said. “Ten bucks she bails on dinner.”

  “I’ll take that bet,” Josie said. “She’s gonna want to pump us for more information.”

  “Nah. She’s got enough.”

  “What are you two up to?” Millie said.

  “We’re trying to catch a rat,” I said. “Maybe more than one.”

  Clarissa returned and immediately grabbed her coat from the back of her stool.

  “I’m really sorry,” she said. “But I’m going to have to pass on dinner. I just remembered I have a conference call scheduled tonight.”

  “Conference call?” Josie said.

  “Yeah, it’s with this company I’m doing some work for out on the west coast,” Clarissa said. “They’re wondering where the heck I’ve been and are starting to get a little cranky about my absence.”

  “Sorry to hear that,” I said. “But duty calls, right?”

  “Exactly.”

  “Hey, I’ve got an idea,” Josie said. “Why don’t you come to family dinner tomorrow night?”

  “Tomorrow night?” Clarissa said. “Uh…actually, I was thinking about getting on the road in the afternoon.”

  “Maybe you can fit dinner in before you go,” I said. “You gotta eat, right?”

  “I’ll see what I can do,” she said, zipping her coat. “If I can make it, what time I should be there?”

  “Seven,” I said. “And you’ll be out of there by nine, nine-thirty at the latest.”

  “Okay. Thanks. I’ll do my best.”

  “I’m sure you will,” I said, extending my hand. “Nice seeing you, Clarissa.”

  “Yeah, you too,” she said, returning the handshake. “Later.”

  We watched her depart then I motioned at Josie with my hand. She dug into her pocket and slid a ten-dollar bill down the bar.

  “Thanks for playing,” I said, pocketing the ten.

  “Lucky guess,” she said, then sat back as Millie topped her wine glass off. “Let’s eat.”

  “Remind me to call the Chief after dinner.”

  “Will do,” she said, hopping off her stool. “And we also need to call Larry.”

  “Yeah. It’s probably not a good idea for him to be home tomorrow night.”

  Chapter 26

  Josie parked the van on the same dead-end street we’d used the day Peters’ will was read and turned the engine off. I glanced over my shoulder and couldn’t miss the befuddled look on Larry the Loser’s face.

  “Tell me again why I’m doing surveillance on my own house.”

  “Because you’ll be useful as an eyewitness,” I said.

  “Says who?” he said.

  “Judge Thompson,” I said.

  “Thompson? That guy hates my guts,” the lawyer said, his voice rising.

  “That’s beside the point at the moment, Larry,” I said, then pointed at the duffel bag next to him on the back seat. “Hand me that bag, please.”

  Josie took it from him and held it while I rummaged around. I removed the laser microphone from the bag and attached it to the passenger side mirror. Then I grabbed three earpieces from the bag and passed them out. I inserted mine then fiddled with the wireless device that controlled the microphone.

  “Can you guys hear me?” I said into a walkie-talkie.

  “Loud and clear,” the Chief said. “Remember we’re going to be turning our radios off as soon as somebody shows up. From that point, you won’t be able to talk to us.”

  “Got it,” I said. “But all that matters is what we hear going on inside the house.”

  “Don’t forget to press the record button,” the Chief said.

  “Hey, do I look an amateur?” I said. “Where are you guys?”

  “We’re hiding in the coat room outside Larry’s office,” Detective Williams said.

  “Kind of a tight fit, isn’t it?” Larry said.

  “Yeah,” the Chief said. “I can think of better ways to spend the evening. No offense, Detective Williams.”

  “None taken. And for the record, you’re no dream date yourself.”

  “Did Judge Thompson give you any problems today?” I said.

  “No,” Detective Williams said. “He said as long as Larry didn’t have a problem with it, he’d sign off.”

  “How disappointed was he when you told him I wasn’t involved?” Larry said.

  “Maybe a little,” Detective Williams said. “But I think he was more surprised than anything.”

  “Not that it’s going to matter,” Larry said. “By the time Peters’ widow gets through with me, I’ll be a footnote.”

  “Maybe not,” I said, then spotted a solitary figure casually strolling down the street. “Here we go. A woman on foot is heading our way.”

  “Who is it?” the Chief said.

  “Hang on,” I said, reaching for my binoculars. “It’s Charlotte.” I held out my hand. “Told you she’d be the first one here.”

  “Dang it,” Josie said, digging a ten out of her pocket and handing it over.

  “Did you remember to leave the front door unlocked?” I said to Larry.

  “I did. I hardly ever lock it.”

  “You might want to start,” Josie said, glan
cing into the backseat.

  We watched Charlotte head up the front steps. She paused on the porch, glanced around, then opened the door.

  “Okay, radios off,” Detective Williams said.

  “Have fun,” I said, then turned the walkie-talkie off and tossed it into the duffel bag.

  We sat quietly then the lights in the front room came on.

  “Pretty brave to turn the lights on like that,” Josie said.

  “It’s better than having somebody see a flashlight beam coming from the house,” I said.

  “Fair point,” Josie said, nodding.

  We listened to the sound of drawers being opened and closed, then a thought popped.

  “Uh-oh,” I said.

  “What?” Josie said.

  “I’m just wondering what’s going to happen if Charlotte decides to look in the coat room.”

  “You’re just thinking of that now?” Josie said.

  “Hey, I didn’t tell them to hide there.”

  “Well, if she does, they’ll have some serious ‘splainin’ to do, huh?”

  “Two cops with a legitimate warrant,” I said, shrugging. “They should be fine.”

  “Here he comes,” Larry said, pointing out the window.

  “Right on time,” I said. “I can’t wait to hear what Charles and Charlotte have to say to each other.”

  We watched as Charles Howard climbed the steps two at a time. He paused when he noticed the lights were on but eventually slowly opened the front door and disappeared from sight. A few seconds later, both their voices could be heard loud and clear.

  “What are you doing here?” Charlotte said.

  “I was about to ask you the same thing,” Charles Howard said.

  “I’m here for a meeting with the lawyer,” Charlotte said. “I called him earlier and told him I wanted to see if there’s a way we could work all this out without having to go to court.”

  “That’s a lie,” Larry said from the backseat. “She never did any such thing.”

  “You don’t say,” Josie deadpanned with a roll of her eyes.

  “Oh, right,” Larry said. “It’s her cover story. Never mind.”

  “Why don’t I believe you, Charlotte?” Charles said.

  “I really don’t care if you believe me or not,” she said. “What’s your excuse?”

  “He called and said he had a document that looked like it belonged to me.”

  “Right,” Charlotte said with a snort. “Nice try.”

  “Man, these people lie more than I do,” Larry said.

  “And that’s not easy, huh?” I said.

  “You got that right,” Larry said.

  “Shhh,” Josie said.

  “What sort of document are you talking about?” Charlotte said.

  “It was just some stuff related to his wolf research,” Charles said, going for casual.

  I spotted Clarissa walking briskly down the street and heading straight for the house.

  “There she is.”

  “I can’t wait to find out which one she’s working with,” Josie said.

  “She’s working with both of them,” I said.

  “What?” Josie said, glancing over at me.

  “Yeah,” I said, nodding. “But I don’t think either one of them knows she’s working both sides of the street.”

  “You want to go double or nothing on that?”

  “I wouldn’t if I were you,” I said with a grin. “Now hush.”

  We watched Clarissa enter the house. I turned the volume of our earpieces up a notch.

  “What are you doing here?” Charles Howard said. “You said you had a dinner invitation.”

  “I did,” Clarissa said. “But I didn’t say I was going.”

  “Dinner with who?” Charlotte said.

  “That idiot lawyer and the dog muttonheads.”

  “Muttonhead?” Larry said from the backseat.

  “Idiot. Nitwit,” Josie said over her shoulder.

  “Harsh,” I said, laughing.

  “Yeah,” Josie said. “What did we ever do to her?”

  “You mean, apart from ruining her plans, right?”

  “There is that,” Josie said.

  “I was just asking him what he’s doing here,” Charlotte said. “He said he’s here to collect some of Jeremy’s wolf research. I don’t believe a word of it.”

  “That’s not why he’s here,” Clarissa said.

  “You know why he’s here?” Charlotte said.

  “Of course, I do. He’s here because I invited him.”

  “What’s that?” Charlotte said, obviously on edge.

  “Most people would call it a gun,” Clarissa said. “But just for the sake of clarity, this is a Beretta M9A3 with a silencer. Nice, huh?”

  “What are you doing with a gun?” Charlotte said.

  “Well, I need it to finish the job your so-called expert screwed up in Colorado,” Clarissa said. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

  We heard the sound of footsteps.

  “She’s heading upstairs to look for Althea,” I said.

  “But Althea’s dead,” Larry said.

  “Yes, we know that, Larry,” I said. “But they don’t.”

  “Got it.”

  Moments later, we heard another round of footsteps.

  “She’s not here,” Clarissa said.

  “Who’s not here?” Charles said.

  “Althea. The lawyer’s assistant.”

  “The one who went off a cliff?” Charles said.

  “How did you know that?” Clarissa said.

  “The cops mentioned it today when they were grilling me,” Charles said casually.

  “He’s good,” I said.

  “Imagine my surprise when I heard she was still alive,” Clarissa said. “How the heck did he manage to screw that up?”

  “I have no idea,” Charlotte said. “But I’m certainly going to find out.”

  “Oh, don’t worry. I’ve got it covered,” Clarissa said in a mocking tone. “What is he again? A ski instructor who moonlights as a hit man?”

  “He told me it was taken care of,” Charlotte said. “She’s really not here?”

  “Did you hear a loud pop?” Clarissa snapped. “The muttonheads said she was in bad shape. She must have relapsed. But, no worries. As soon as I finish up here, I’ll swing by the hospital and take care of it.”

  “I’m missing something here,” Charles Howard said. “You tried to kill that woman?”

  “Well, we really couldn’t have her walking around running her mouth,” Clarissa said. “But it turns out the idiot you hired couldn’t handle one simple thing. I guess the old saying is true. If you want something done right, do it yourself.”

  “Don’t speak to me in that tone, Prudence,” Charlotte said.

  “How many times do I have to tell you, Mother? My name is Clarissa.”

  “There’s no need to be cruel. Whatever problems we’ve had over the years, I’m still your mother.”

  “Don’t remind me.”

  “Uh, can we back up a bit?” Charles Howard said. “She’s your mother?”

  “Surprised, huh?” Clarissa said with an evil laugh that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

  “So, you working with Jeremy was part of some elaborate setup you two came up with?” Charles Howard said.

  “I came up with it,” Clarissa said. “She was just along for the ride. And she couldn’t even handle one simple thing.”

  “You’re not going to let it go, are you?” Charlotte said, playing defense. “And I handled everything else perfectly.”

  “I guess that remains to be seen,” Clarissa said. “Let’s continue this conversation in the office. It has to be in there.”

  “What are you talking about?” Charlotte said.

  “I’m talking about the reason I’m standing here dealing with you two,” Clarissa said. “Sit down on that couch.”

  We listened to the sound of desk drawers being opened
and closed then heard the loud thump of something landing on what I assumed was the desk.

  “What’s that?” Charlotte said.

  “He had it in his office the whole time?” Charles said, obviously stunned.

  “No, according to the muttonheads, the cops found it in Althea’s car,” Clarissa said.

  “Muttonhead,” Josie said, glancing over at me. “I don’t think I like it.”

  “Me either,” I said. “It has a rather pejorative tone.”

  “I know that one,” Larry said, leaning forward. “Derogatory, right?”

  We both glanced over our shoulders and stared at him.

  “Never mind,” he said, sitting back.

  “What is that?” Charlotte said.

  “I just told you, Mother. It’s the reason we’re here.”

  “There’s eight-million dollars in that envelope?”

  “Geez,” Clarissa grunted, the contempt in her voice unmistakable. “You’re such an idiot. Are they putting something in the water supply down there?”

  “Well, I’m sorry I’m not able to keep track of all the scams you’re working on,” Charlotte said. “You should have seen the time she stole all my credits cards and maxed them out on Pokemon cards.”

  “It was a better investment than anything you’ve ever come up with,” Clarissa said.

  “Pokemon cards?” Charles said.

  “I was eight,” Clarissa snapped.

  “Right after that was her first trip to juvenile hall,” Charlotte said.

  “Yeah,” Clarissa said. “I went in a babe in the woods and came out with a whole bunch of new ideas.”

  “And you tried them all,” Charlotte said. “Look Pru-, Clarissa, I love sitting here reminiscing about your delightful childhood, but I thought you dragged me over here for another reason.”

  “You hear that?” Clarissa said.

  “Hear what?” Charles Howard said.

  “The condescending tone in her voice,” Clarissa said. “You never change, do you, Mother?”

  “This is ridiculous,” Charlotte said. “Can we get to it? You said you’d found a handwritten copy of the original will.”

  “I lied,” Clarissa said. “There is a handwritten copy around somewhere. But Jeremy must have stashed it away. Either that or the cops have it. And since they might, we need to wrap this up. I need to hit the road.”