Circle of Doubt

by Buchanan, Tracy

  ‘Now’s the time,’ said a woman whom Emma didn’t recognise.

  ‘I don’t know . . .’ Emma’s dad said, seemingly reluctant.

  ‘Come on, it’ll do you good,’ the woman encouraged.

  A sigh, then: ‘Fine. But this stays between us two, all right?’

  ‘Of course,’ the woman replied.

  Over the next twenty minutes, Emma listened as he told his side of the story of what had happened the night Harriet died, the unknown woman audibly encouraging him to keep talking whenever he seemed unable to. He talked about how he’d seen the look of determination in Emma’s eyes before she’d got in the car with her sister. How he’d run outside to stop them, chasing the car down the road. And then the awful sound of the impact.

  As Emma listened, she sobbed. To hear him reliving it, to hear the obvious torment in his voice . . . it was so difficult.

  The only good thing was it sounded as if he had no idea he was being recorded by this mysterious woman. He hadn’t meant to expose Emma.

  After Emma finished listening, she got her phone out again, staring at it.

  ‘Call him again,’ a voice whispered to her in the darkness. ‘Talk to him.’

  She looked up to see her sister watching her. Or what she imagined to be her sister.

  Then she called her dad again.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Saturday 21st November

  8.45 p.m.

  I look up at the window of your house, Isla. There’s a storm building in the dark skies above, the branches of the trees in your garden whipping themselves into a frenzy.

  But I am calm because I know you will be mine soon, Isla, now that the terrible truth is out of what your fake mother did.

  She killed her own sister!

  I thought about going to the police first, but my history with them isn’t the best. No, it felt like a good chance to leave the evidence there at your party and to watch the beginning of the end with my own eyes.

  If I know your fake father as well as I think I do – from the research I’ve had done on him – his overzealous commitment to morality and truth will have him encouraging Emma to go to the police. Then the police will have no choice but to arrest Emma and her alcoholic father.

  I then have everything in place to sweep in and take over. I spoke to a new solicitor today, a very well-regarded solicitor with offices in Knightsbridge. He says it will be a challenge, but with my impeccable record over the past few years, plus the fact I didn’t even know Jade had a child, I stand a very good chance of getting you back.

  Yes, yes, I know, even with Emma in prison, Dele might still have a claim to you. But look what I can offer you! Not just all the money and luxuries you need, but also a family. Me, your biological father. Your biological brothers. And then Tatjana who, yes, is a challenge at the moment, but with time she will be fine. How can a lone father with a wife in prison for causing death by drunk driving match up to me?

  The solicitor I spoke to earlier agrees that this all puts me in a very good position, and soon everything I’ve worked for over the past few months will come to fruition.

  Soon, you will be all mine, Isla.

  Chapter Forty

  Saturday 21st November

  8.45 p.m.

  Emma’s dad’s phone rang and rang, and at first she thought he wouldn’t pick up again. But eventually he did.

  ‘Hello,’ he said in his familiar gruff voice.

  ‘Dad . . . it’s Emma.’

  No words, just the sound of his breath on the other end. Then finally: ‘You okay?’

  ‘You told someone what happened, Dad,’ she said bluntly.

  ‘What?’

  She could tell in his voice he had. ‘I have a recording of it, Dad, right here. You told someone.’

  ‘A recording?’

  ‘Yes. Who did you tell?’

  He was quiet for a few moments, then he sighed. ‘April. Bloody April.’

  ‘Who’s April?’

  ‘The landlady of my local, I’ve known her a few months. We sometimes . . . well, you know. She stayed over the other night and we got into this deep talk. Are you definitely sure she recorded it?’

  ‘Yes. It’s clear when you listen to the audio.’

  ‘That bitch!’

  ‘You told me never to tell anyone! Why did you tell her?’

  ‘I had to,’ he said, his voice breaking. ‘It’s been tearing me apart, keeping it all inside, what with the anniversary coming up.’

  ‘So you told some woman you’ve only known a few months?’

  ‘It just came out! She kept telling me she could sense something was torturing me. She convinced me to let it all out.’ His voice cracked. ‘And she bloody recorded it?’

  Emma put her head in her hands. ‘Oh, Dad.’

  She heard him take a sip of something, probably his favourite: neat vodka.

  ‘You sound so much like Harriet, you know . . .’ He let out a sob and Emma squeezed her eyes shut. Should she be surprised by the way he was, after all these years carrying a burden like this? She knew how he felt; that burden lay so heavy on her shoulders, too.

  Still, to tell some woman he scarcely knew when she hadn’t even told Dele!

  ‘Someone’s using this against me, Dad. I think this landlady you know was paid to get the information out of you and record it.’

  Her dad was quiet for a few moments, then he sighed. ‘She does need the money. Got herself into pretty bad debt, might even lose the pub. It’d have come out by now though, wouldn’t it?’ he said. ‘Surely the police would have come knocking already? You’ll be fine.’

  ‘She’s biding her time,’ Emma said, peering out towards the forest.

  ‘She? Who’s she?’

  ‘Isla’s birth mother. She’s going to use this information to finally get what she wants: Isla.’

  She heard a glass crash to the floor. ‘What?’

  Emma was too tired to explain it all. ‘It’s a long story, Dad. I just need to focus on making sure she doesn’t get what she wants; that Isla stays with Dele. Maybe this is the best way, anyway. After what I did to Harriet.’ She pinched her lips together, tears squeezing from her eyes. ‘I don’t deserve to be a mum.’

  ‘Don’t you say that! You’re a good mother! A great mother.’

  Emma laughed bitterly. ‘How do you know that? We never see each other any more. You haven’t even met your granddaughter!’

  ‘I see it in your letters, in those photos you take. Those little pictures Isla draws, too.’ So he had been reading her letters. ‘Clever kid. Happy kid. I always knew you’d be a good mum.’ She could hear the smile in his voice.

  ‘I’m really not, Dad. The past few weeks . . .’ She sniffed, wiping tears from her eyes. ‘I’m so busy. I forget things. I – I feel so overwhelmed.’

  ‘Oh Emma, you’ve always been like this, doubting yourself. If you had an ounce of your sister’s confidence . . .’ His voice trailed off. ‘Look, you took that little girl from a real bad start in life and you gave her something she might not ever have had: a stable happy home. Trust me, she wouldn’t have had it with that father of hers hanging around.’

  ‘Isla’s father?’ she asked, wiping her tears away. ‘How do you know about him?’

  ‘I still have my contacts. I had to check out my granddaughter’s background, didn’t I? Spoke to a few people on the estate. It was clear who the father was, despite Jade Dixon pretending she put it around. He’s bad news, love, all the Belafontes are bad news.’

  Emma’s blood turned to ice. ‘Belafontes?’

  ‘Yep. Isla’s dad was Nathan Belafonte.’

  ‘But – but Jade’s mother said he was called Nathan Bellford.’

  ‘Nah, she’s getting confused. No, he’s definitely called Nathan Lawrence Belafonte.’

  Emma jumped up as the truth suddenly dawned on her.

  It wasn’t Jade who wanted Isla back . . . it was Isla’s birth father, Nathan Belafonte.

  Or L
awrence, as he was calling himself now.

  ‘I have to go,’ she said.

  ‘But Emma!’

  ‘I’ll call you when I get all this sorted.’

  She hung up and paced the living room, thinking of Lawrence, the smiling pleasant man she knew – her client, the rich architect. Could he really be the violent, thuggish man Jade’s mother told her about? The psycho, as she had referred to him?

  Were Jade – or Tatjana, as she called herself now – and Lawrence working together? Not just one birth parent but two?

  A mother desperate to have her daughter back was bad enough. But add to that a violent man capable of murder . . . it was a whole new level of threat.

  She thought of Dele and Isla sleeping upstairs. Should she tell Dele? No, she mustn’t wake them. This was her mess.

  Instead, she pulled on her raincoat and grabbed her keys, then stepped out of the house, jumping in her car and driving into the forest.

  The weather was wild when she turned down the drive towards the Belafontes’ house, leaves whipping up around the car and the tall trees creaking ominously above her. When she parked outside the grand house in the woods she saw that all the blinds were closed. No surprise, considering it was gone ten at night.

  She stared at the large imposing house, imagining Lawrence and Jade in there right now, plotting to take Isla from her.

  She shivered.

  Had she made a mistake coming here? But she needed to talk to them face to face: Isla’s biological parents, the people who were trying to take her daughter away. The thought of it gave her a courage she didn’t usually have.

  She took a deep breath and got out of her car, marching up to the front door and knocking on it.

  After a few moments, Tatjana – Jade – answered it. Emma was struck again by how thin she looked . . . and, even worse, she was sure under the harsh light of the hallway she could see a faint bruise around her eye.

  When she saw Emma, she tried to close the door, but Emma stuck her foot in the gap, stopping her.

  ‘I know that Lawrence, or should I say Nathan, is Isla’s birth father,’ Emma hissed. ‘I know you’re Jade.’

  ‘I’m not. You’ve got it all wrong.’

  ‘Liar!’

  ‘I mean it, Emma. I’m not Jade.’

  Emma looked at her in surprise. Something in Tatjana’s eyes told her that she was telling the truth. Emma blinked. She’d been wrong all this time? She quickly recovered herself. It didn’t matter. She needed Tatjana’s help. She wasn’t denying who Lawrence was, after all.

  ‘Is Lawrence in?’ Emma asked, trying to peer behind her.

  Tatjana shook her head. ‘He’s gone to London.’

  ‘Can we talk then?’ she asked.

  Tatjana swallowed, then shook her head. ‘I can’t talk to you.’

  She went to close the door again, but Emma placed the flat of her hand against it.

  ‘You have to,’ she pleaded. ‘If it’s true what you’re saying, if you aren’t Jade, then surely you can see how wrong this is? He’s trying to take my daughter away and you know it! Imagine if someone tried to take your boys?’

  Emotion flickered on Tatjana’s tired face.

  ‘Please!’ Emma said. ‘I really need your help. You know him. As one mother to another, I’m begging you.’

  ‘He’s the father of my kids, Emma. Don’t you get that? I’m sorry,’ she added, her voice breaking. ‘All I’m going to say is that I am not Jade Dixon.’

  Then she slammed the door shut.

  Emma sighed. It was pointless. Lawrence had complete control over her.

  She ran through the rain and jumped back into her car as she tried to figure out what the hell to do next.

  Then there was a knock on the window.

  She looked up to see Tatjana standing outside, cardigan wrapped around her, the heavy raindrops wiping away the foundation on her face to reveal the stark purple hue of the bruise around her left eye under the moonlight.

  ‘Can I come in?’ Tatjana shouted over the rain.

  Emma nodded, leaning over to open the passenger door for her.

  Tatjana got in and sat down. She was shivering, her clothes soaked through. She looked so vulnerable sat there with that awful bruise and her wet clothes. Emma felt a burst of sympathy and guilt.

  ‘You’re really not Jade, are you?’ Emma asked.

  Tatjana shook her head. ‘But I was behind some of it,’ she replied. ‘The missing school letter. The fake email. The gossip. I – I actually enjoyed it.’

  ‘But Lawrence put you up to it, right?’ Emma said, her eyes sliding to the bruise on Tatjana’s face.

  Tatjana lifted her fingers and touched the bruise, wincing. ‘Not at first,’ she confessed. ‘It was exciting. I was going to do something so amazing for the man I loved – I was going to get his daughter back!’ She tensed her jaw, turning to look out into the darkness. ‘It went so well at first, he was so – so proud of me. He told me how clever I was, how creative. It’s been a long time since he said those things to me.’

  Emma remained quiet, letting her talk.

  ‘Of course, in the back of my mind, I knew he was using me,’ Tatjana continued. ‘But that’s fine, we’re married, sometimes partners use each other, don’t they?’

  She turned to look at Emma for reassurance, but Emma just shook her head. ‘It shouldn’t work like that, Tatjana.’

  Tatjana’s face hardened. ‘You think I’m weak.’

  ‘Not at all! Lawrence coerced you into this. Even if it seemed like you were enjoying it, that was part of his manipulation. The strongest of people can be made to do the worst things when it comes to coercive control.’

  ‘I used to be strong,’ Tatjana agreed. ‘I’ve always been proud of that. Fact is, Lawrence got to me at my most vulnerable, that’s all. My mother had just died and it sent me into a spin. I wasn’t myself.’

  ‘I get it,’ Emma said with a sigh.

  ‘Your sister?’

  Emma nodded, wondering just how much Tatjana knew about her past.

  ‘It’s like losing a crucial defence in your armour, isn’t it?’ Tatjana said.

  Emma smiled sadly. ‘That’s a good way of putting it.’

  ‘Well, that was how it was for me. Lawrence snuck in through the gaps. You can’t blame me for falling for him, can you?’ she said. ‘So handsome and charming, even before my dad’s money made him what he is today. Honestly, it was bliss in those first few months. He seemed to love the fact I wanted to run my own business. He would go on and on about how strong and fierce I was, and how he loved that about me.’ Her face flickered with anger. ‘But when we married, it was those very things he tried to stamp out of me.’ She played with the hem of her top. ‘I honestly just didn’t have the strength to fight back. We had Zeke pretty quickly after we married so I was exhausted.’ She swallowed hard, face clouding over. ‘You know the first time Lawrence hit me, it was because he said I was being too weak with Zeke when he had tantrums? He stamped all the strength from me, then hit me for being too weak. I know I should have left that first time. But the boys!’ She looked at Emma, eyes pleading. ‘You understand, don’t you? You build a family and you will do everything to hold it together, even if it means sacrificing your own happiness?’

  ‘Oh God, do I understand,’ Emma said, her own eyes filling with tears. ‘I really do. That’s why this has been tearing me apart.’

  ‘I know that now. I didn’t really understand the impact on you initially. The way Lawrence talked about you . . .’ She let her voice trail off. Emma didn’t want to ask what she meant. She just assumed Lawrence had bad-mouthed her. Why else would Tatjana agree to taking Isla away from her? ‘I only saw you and Dele through his eyes at first,’ Tatjana continued with a sigh. ‘He was so adamant Isla needed to be taken away from you and become part of our family.’ She smiled slightly. ‘I’ve always wanted a girl, you see, and when he showed me a photo of Isla, I could see how much she looks like Lawrence and me, too
, in her way.’

  Emma nodded. She could see Lawrence in the shape of Isla’s face, now she thought about it. The little gestures. It had been right there all along, but she’d been too fixated on Tatjana being Jade.

  ‘I got so excited about having a little girl as part of our family,’ Tatjana said as she stared out through the hard rain at the house. ‘When we moved here and saw how beautiful the village is, it made me even more excited. That day we first met, that Monday?’ Emma nodded. ‘After, we walked to the park nearby with the boys, the one with the hedgehog huts, and Lawrence went on and on about how wonderful it would be to push his daughter on the swing there. He wouldn’t even let the boys go on the red swing. He said that one was for Isla. He made me imagine this beautiful girl in our life. He made me want it as much as he did!’

  Emma scrunched her hands together. It was hard listening to Tatjana talk about her Isla like that.

  The smile disappeared from Tatjana’s face. ‘But the more I got to know you, the woman Lawrence made you out to be didn’t match the one in front of me. And the more I saw of you and Isla together – the more I saw of Dele too, the way you all are as a family . . . I started to doubt everything Lawrence had said about you.’ She looked into Emma’s eyes. ‘You’re such a good mum, Emma.’

  Emma thought of what her dad had said earlier: You’re a great mother, Emma. You just need to believe it.

  ‘So are you,’ Emma whispered, putting her hand over Tatjana’s.

  The two women smiled at each other, then Tatjana pulled her hand away from Emma’s and shook her head.

  ‘I’m not a good mum,’ Tatjana said firmly. ‘I should never have done all that to you.’

  ‘You did it for the boys.’

  ‘That’s why I shouldn’t have done it. It was wrong and yet I didn’t realise that for so long. How can I teach my boys the difference between right and wrong if I don’t know it myself?’

  ‘Lawrence manipulated you, he brainwashed you, this is what men like that do!’ Emma looked at Tatjana’s bruise again. ‘You need to get away from him before he hurts you again . . . before he hurts the boys!’

  ‘He wouldn’t do that! He told me I’m the only one he’s done this to.’