Playing For Love

by Dana Burkey

  Well, I decided not to think about the bad parts, and instead be happy he finally said something to me. So, I replayed his words and smile over and over in my head the rest of the day. It came in extra handy when I was super bummed about giving away a goal in our game! I tried to kick the ball when it was rolling towards me, but instead I kind of kicked next to it and let the girl on the other team go right around me and make a shot at the goal. Coach Garry took me out of the game right after that, and we still won, so no ones still mad about it too much.

  I’m actually on the way home from the game right now, riding the yellow bus back to school since it was an away game. And I feel a little bad since Hayley Ford, one of the girls on JV with me, keeps trying to chat with me about school and stuff. So, I think I'm going to stop writing for tonight so I don’t seem like a total jerk to her. I don’t know her super well, so I don’t want to give her the wrong impression that I am too cool to talk to her or something! Hopefully tomorrow will give me a better chance to actually have a real conversation with Jordan as well!

  SEPTEMBER 5TH-FRIDAY

  First of all I need to say that Hayley is super sweet! She's new on the team like me, so it was nice to chat with her about being first year players despite being sophomores. Although I wasn't on the team last year since I didn’t think of it to impress Jordan yet, whereas Hayley wasn't on the team last year because she decided to do cheerleading instead. So, you know, not similar reasons at all, but we’re both on the team now so we can at least talk about that!

  Thursday was pretty boring. Classes were all standard, lunch was once again Taylor talking nonstop talking about people she was meeting, and then Jordan didn’t even say hi to me when he got in the car after school. Oh, and I didn’t even run into him in the hallway. It was a bummer, and the day only got worse when I went to soccer practice. I tried hard like last time, but again my coaches wanted more from me. But now that I am kind of making friends with Hayley, she tried to cheer me on and give me some good pointers here and there to make it at least a little better.

  I don’t know if it counts as “good” or not, but today I passed Jordan in the hallway before the end of the day and it looked like he was looking down and saw my soccer socks. Hopefully he did, and now officially knows I am on the team. Our next game is not until Saturday, but all of the other girls were also wearing their socks at school so if he saw mine, then he has to know why I was wearing them for sure!

  At lunch today Taylor went on and on about how excited she was for the football game. It was interesting since none of us had mentioned the game yet, but that didn't seem to stop her. Apparently she had a lot of school spirit in her old town, and was ready to carry it over here now as well.

  “You guys are going, right?” she asked between bites of her lunch. “I mean, it’s the first home game and I guess everyone's going to be there.”

  “We usually don’t go to the games,” Corra explained. “I think we went to one last year just for fun, but it was raining so we left early.”

  “It’s not supposed to rain tonight,” Taylor held up her phone to prove it. Her weather app showed sunshine all the way until sunset. “My sister and her friends are all going so I thought it would be cool if we all went too!”

  “I guess we could,” I nodded, trying to help Taylor out for some reason. “A few of the girls on the soccer team said they're going.”

  Taylor immediately took that as me agreeing to go, and before I knew it Beth’s mom was all lined up to give us a ride to and from the game. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate the football team or anything, I just don’t really like standing and cheering. I guess I prefer more quiet environments and indoor activities. The soccer team is making me get out of my comfort zone more than usual, so I kind of wanted to spend my Friday night reading or watching movies or something. At the same time, seeing how excited Taylor was at the idea of all of us going to the game together was pretty compelling. It was also pretty clear that Taylor wanted to hang out with her sister, but her sister wasn't exactly feeling the same way. I know what that's like, so I kind of decided it was worth it to help her out

  “My friends and I are going to the game tonight,” I told Ross on the ride home. Jordan wasn't riding with us, so I felt like I could actually talk while in the car.

  “Great,” Ross said, and I’m pretty sure there was an eye roll happening underneath his sunglasses.

  “Are you going?” I asked, hoping he might actually have a conversation with me like a real human.

  “Yeah, but I'm taking people so I can’t give you a ride.”

  “We have a ride,” I assured him. “Just wasn’t sure if you were going or not.”

  And without even responding to me Ross reached over and turned up his music and kept driving like nothing had ever happened. Even when we were alone in a car it was like talking to me was too annoying for him. I get that it isn't super cool to hang out with your little sister sometimes, but I think Ross makes a point of being an extra big jerk sometimes. At least he hadn’t done anything too rude in front of Jordan...yet!

  When I got home, I did a little homework and ate dinner before walking over to Beth’s house. Corra walked with me and by the time we got there it had been decided I was getting a makeover. This amounted to Corra doing my makeup and putting my hair up in a cute ponytail with all the ends all curled and covered in hairspray. It was a bit much, but Corra has really short hair despite deciding a few months ago to finally grow out her pixie cut. So, she was for sure using tonight as a chance to pretend it was her hair she was curling and teasing and generally torturing.

  “Why don’t you wear more makeup all the time?” Taylor asked, dabbing some gold glitter onto her eye lids Our school colors are green and gold, so there were no such things as too much for school functions.

  “I don’t know,” I shrugged as Corra worked on tying some green ribbon around my ponytail. “I don’t really know how to do a lot of it, and it all seems like so much work.”

  “Well, it makes you look really pretty,” Taylor said super genuinely.

  “Thanks,” I grinned, suddenly really glad Taylor was with us. Beth and Corra never pushed me about wearing makeup, but hearing it from Taylor made me think that maybe giving it a try was something to consider.

  Once we felt like we would fit in with the other fans cheering from our school, we headed to the game. We had enough green and gold on to make it clear who we were rooting for, although only I was wearing a shirt that was for our school. It was my practice soccer shirt, and I was only wearing it in case I saw Jordan. I was hoping deep down he would see it and ask me about being on the team and then ask me to be his girlfriend! Okay, maybe not that last one. But still!

  I wish I could say that we went to the game and I sat with Jordan and the whole thing was perfect, but that couldn't be farther from the truth! Sure, the game was okay. I think the team won. Maybe. We left before the end. It was just pretty boring walking around and kind of watching the game. I saw some of the girls from the soccer team, including Hayley, but they were in The Pit. The Pit is this big cheering area right in front of where the cheerleaders are on the sidelines and everyone is super loud and cheering all the time. Basically not the place I wanted to be tonight, so I more or less just waved to them and moved on.

  One person we did chat with at the game was Lizzy, Taylor’s older sister. And it was crazy! Lizzy is basically just a slightly taller version of Taylor, who has even longer hair. She was hanging out near the edge of The Pit so we chatted with her for a little before we decided we wanted to head home. I noticed Ross and Jordan were on the other side of the cheering zone, but it would have been impossible to get to them, and even then I doubt Ross would've been happy to see me. So, we said a quick goodbye to Lizzy, and left to wait for the car.

  “You can stay if you want to,” I overhead Beth telling Taylor as we stood in the parking lot.

  “No, it’s okay,” Taylor assured her, putting on a big smile when she saw I was li
stening. “It was so loud in there I don’t know if I will be able to hear anything for about a week!”

  With that, the issue was dropped and we all loaded into Mrs. Well’s van when she pulled up a second later. And from there I have to say the night was a lot of fun! We watched crazy YouTube videos, painted our nails after we got some crazy inspiration from Pinterest, and then we ate sticky sweet cinnamon rolls while we watched some chick flicks to end the evening. I’ve been writing all of this during the last movie, since I've seen it easily a dozen times, and it just hit me that I have to be at school tomorrow morning at 10am for my game! So, it’s time for me to try to get some sleep so I hopefully don’t mess up too much.

  SEPTEMBER 6TH-SATURDAY

  Today has been an interesting day. Just a lot of ups and downs and it all ended on an up, so I guess that's pretty exciting! And the day even included a real conversation with Jordan! I should go back and start with the game, which was where all the craziness of the day started.

  I woke up super early and walked home to get ready for my game. I still had some of my makeup on from last night, and my hair was almost still curly, so I just put on clothes and then begged my mom to drive through Starbucks so I could get a frap before the game. It only kind of made up for the late night at Beth’s, but it was a good idea since I played almost half of the game today!

  The first time I went in was just after the start of the game, and I actually cleared the ball once when it got near the goal. Or at least, that what Coach Heather said when she complimented me when I got off the field. Then, I got put it again as a forward right at the end of the first half. I didn’t do much since the ball was by our goal, but I was trying really hard to pay attention and be ready to help if the ball came my way. The last time I went in, it was on defense again and unlike earlier in the game, the ball was at the other team's goal. In fact, while I was in we scored two times. It was cool to feel like I was a part of it, even if I didn’t actually help at all.

  “Great game Fabulous Fi,” one of the varsity girls even said to me as I was packing up my gear to head to the bleachers to watch the varsity game.

  “What?” I asked, turning to see it was Skyler DePaul, the captain of varsity.

  “You just look super cute today,” she offered. “And you played a great game.”

  That had me beaming as I moved to camp out in the bleachers with Hayley, Torri, Sam, and the other JV girls. It turned out to be a lot of fun watching with them since they talked a lot about strategy and stuff like that during the match. It made me understand the game overall a lot more, and was a lot more fun than doing homework like I did last game. Overall, hanging out with Hayley and Sam and Torri was making me feel like even if I wasn't having progress with Jordan, being on the team was pretty cool.

  Well, as soon as I got home from the game I remembered why I wasn't too happy to be at the game all day. The time with my friends after the football game, and then the time with my teammates watching the varsity game had me completely forgetting the fact that Ross and all of his friends, including Jordan, were having a pool party at my house! I think the only reason I forgot was that for once I wasn't a part of the party.

  Now, this wasn't one of those mean older brother things where Ross was trying to exclude me. This was just a case of me having a soccer game so I didn’t really invite anyone over for our annual pool closing party. With fall coming, today was the last day we would get to swim in the backyard until we opened the pool in the spring. The last few years, it was my chance to hang out near Jordan and see him without his shirt on, but thanks to soccer I got home late enough that everyone was playing volleyball and there was no guarantee they would be swimming anymore.

  I was super excited to shower and change out of my sweaty clothes, so I didn’t even bother to going out to the backyard to say hello to everyone. It would've meant that Jordan finally knew for sure that I was on the soccer team, but seeing everyone through the kitchen patio doors just made me feel even more dirty and gross after a long game and more time sitting in the sun sweating. When I was out of the shower, I texted my friends and invited them over, and Corra said she was going to head my way when she was done with some homework. I was excited that I'd have her to hang out with, even if I'd miss the whole pool party.

  Well, it was when I was sitting at the kitchen island eating my lunch that I noticed that Jordan was walking towards the house. He was texting as he was walking, so he didn’t see me staring at him. I tried to look away, but he was wearing a rather tight shirt so I could make out all his muscles through the thin fabric. To say it was distracting was an understatement by a long shot! Thankfully I calmed down a good bit by the time he opened the door and came into the kitchen.

  “Hey Fi!” he grinned, slipping his phone into his pocket.

  “Hey,” I replied, praying there was no food stuck in my teeth.

  “Ross sent me in for snacks,” he explained, glancing around the kitchen. “Did they all get put away?”

  “Yeah, I think so,” I said before pointing to the cupboard. “But it should all be in there, so feel free to grab whatever.”

  “Perfect.” With that, Jordan started digging around for chips and other snacks. I assumed he would grab them and head outside, but once he had a nice pile going on the counter, he turned to me again. “So how'd the game go this morning?”

  “It was good,” I smiled, shocked he actually asked. “We won 3-2, and then varsity tied 1-1.”

  “Awesome. Did you score at all?” Proving that he actually cared, Jordan stood and leaned his elbows on the counter. Until then I assumed he was just chatting to end any awkward silence, but once he did that it was clear that he wanted to actually talk to me.

  “No, but I cleared the ball early on in the game and it kept the other team from scoring a goal.” I was suddenly so happy my coach had gaven me a specific compliment!

  “Nice,” he nodded. “So do you usually play defense then?”

  “I did last game, but today I played forward a bit too.” Inside I was totally freaking out that he cared so much and we were really having this conversation. But, I tried to keep calm and not let him know I was freaking out. I mean, maybe this was just his way to be nice to his friends sister. But, at the same time, it felt more like he was really chatting with me about it because he cared.

  “Well, then maybe you will get to score in your next game,” he offered with a heart-melting grin.

  “That would be great,” I nodded. “But first coach says I need to work on my cardio a lot.”

  Jordan laughed a little at my remark and looked like he was about to say something else when Ross came walking into the kitchen.

  “What’s taking so long? Did you have to get the snacks from the store?” Ross joked as he stood next to Jordan, more or less ignoring me.

  “I had to search for them,” Jordan explained. “Then I was talking to Fi about her game. “

  “Well, we’re hungry out here,” Ross explained, picking up some of the bags of chips and other assorted junk food. “Let’s go.”

  It was clear that Ross didn't care about my game, but I tried not to show my disappointment. Instead I focused on the phone that I was still in my hands. I started to text Corra to let her know about my chat with Jordan so I wasn't just sitting there while him and Ross walked outside.

  “See you later Fi,” Jordan called, bringing my attention away from my home as he closed the door and headed outside. I managed a quick wave and smile, but I don’t know if he actually saw it. But, I saw it, and I knew that Jordan took time out of Ross’s party to actually chat with me! It was so amazing and I about exploded while telling Corra once she made it to my house a little while later. She was almost as excited as I was!

  All in all, it was a great day! I was kind of bummed that Ross doesn't ever want to hang out with me, even when Jordan seemed okay with the idea. And it was a bummer to not be more involved with my team winning, but it was still great to win! I think I'm going to make a bigger eff
ort to practice on my own and try extra hard during team practices so I might actually get to tell Jordan I scored a goal one of these days!

  SEPTEMBER 8TH-MONDAY

  Yesterday turned out to be rather boring, but still productive so I never bothered to write. I spend some time finishing homework, and then actually decided to do some cardio like Coach Heather suggested. My mom is really into yoga now, but a few years ago she was really into running so we have a very unused treadmill in the basement that I decided to put to use. I only ran about three miles, and at least one of those miles was me walking. But, I did it! I think I'm going to make it my goal to run every day that I don’t have a game or a super intense practice. Or even get up early and run before school some days! Well, that’s my goal. Who knows if it'll actually happen, but I’m aiming high for now!

  Today was also more or less pretty standard, with one exception. When we picked up Jordan, he smiled and said good morning to me! It was a little thing since he then went on to chat with Ross like I wasn't sitting right behind them for the rest of the ride to school, but for a second there he actually acknowledged me! It was more than I could say for my annoying brother, so it made me happy! Maybe this is the first step in him falling in love with me now!

  The rest of the day at school I was distracted working on a project we got in history. We have to write some articles as if we were there for a few historical events and they are due tomorrow. We can hand write them so I can save time and not be up late typing them, but I knew I needed to work on them some at school so I would have time to finish them tonight after practice. And it was a good thing I did since it gave me time to finish and then also still write for a little! So at lunch I worked on my articles while Corra and Beth and Taylor talked about whether or not we should go to the football game this coming week since it was an away game across town. South Glen is only a 15-minute drive from our school, but it still means less time to get ready and needing a ride over there and all that!