To Trust

by Carolyn Brown

  “A little,” she admitted.

  He threw an arm around her, drawing her close to his side. “Here, eat a few bites of this. It’ll warm you right up.” He fed her an overloaded spoon of the chili mixture.

  “Good Lord, what is that?” She chewed fast and swallowed hard, grabbing for his canned Dr Pepper before she blew fire like a dragon.

  “I stopped by the nacho booth and bought a side order of jalapeños for my chili pie. Warms it up, don’t it?”

  “Sets it on fire.”

  “Dee, I need my purse to get some more money. We want to go to the haunted house again.” Bodine and her friends jumped around in front of her.

  “Did you all eat the Energizer Bunny in that place?” Jack asked.

  “Oh, Jack, you’re so funny,” Clarissa, Bodine’s friend, said.

  Bodine took money from her purse and then handed it back to Dee for safekeeping. “We just got another hour and then we have to go home. We want to do the haunted house again and then we’re going to find something to eat. What’s that you got? Frito chili pie? That’s what I want when we come out.”

  Jack loaded up the spoon and shoved it toward Bodine, who opened her mouth like a little bird. “Here, have a taste.”

  She waved her hand in front of her mouth dramatically “Great balls of fire!”

  Dee laughed. “Well said. He put peppers in it.”

  “You aren’t funny anymore. Give me that Dr Pepper.” Bodine danced around like the heat from the peppers had settled in her feet.

  “So, has the last five hours cured you of wanting a house full of kids?” Jack asked.

  “No, it has not,” Dee said.

  “So when do we start the first one?”

  “Soon as the fire dies from the chili pie.”

  “Honestly?” Jack raised an eyebrow.

  “Honestly? No.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I do love you. I’ve told you a thousand times, I wouldn’t jeopardize our friendship for anything. Not even for the chance of a whole houseful of kids with you.”

  “Has to be friendship only, then? Can’t be anything more? Not even when I cold-cocked Dillon, threatened to sell my stock, and let you catch more fish than me the next day?”

  “I don’t want to ever live without your friendship again, Jack. I want to come tell you all my secrets and sit on the porch and watch fireflies. I don’t want to lose that when the love dies. And you did not let me catch more fish. I’m a better fisherman than you are.”

  “But you’re not really sure, are you? I could have put some kind of potion on your bait that lured the fish to your hook instead of mine, and then you sit here and tell me you love me as a brother. My heart is broken.”

  So it wasn’t that she didn’t love him or couldn’t. It wasn’t because she saw a boy with bony knees and thick glasses. It was simply that she hadn’t figured out she could have both friendship and passion. It had been less than four months since she’d come home from Pennsylvania. She’d come a long way in that time. They’d even gotten past the disastrous evening in Dallas the previous week. He’d feared she’d never speak to him again, but they’d gotten over that hurdle and even the awkwardness of the next few days. At least they were back to the point where they’d been before the Dallas fiasco.

  “Hey, you two. Fancy meeting you here.” A tall, blond woman claimed a piece of the curb right beside Dee.

  “Jodie Cahill. You haven’t changed a bit. What are you doing at the Davis Halloween Carnival?” Dee smiled brightly.

  “Just taking in all the excitement. Granny Etta and I did the Sulphur one last night. She and the ladies of her club sell barbecue sandwiches. It’s their major fundraiser for the year. I heard you’d come home. Roxie said you were so bullheaded it took seven years for you to admit you were wrong.” Jodie pushed a weathered cowboy hat to the back of her head.

  “Can’t ever be said that Roxie sugarcoats the situation, can it?”

  “Not one of the queens would ever sugarcoat anything. They’re famous for being big-mouthed and honest to the point of cruelty.” Jodie grinned.

  “So you married?”

  “Me? No, ma’am. What man wants a ranchin’ woman who rides bulls and sings in a honky-tonk on Friday and Saturday nights? They want a simpering little wife who can’t change a light bulb.”

  “Not me,” Jack said.

  Jodie reached around Dee and patted him on the shoulder. “I wasn’t talkin’ about you, darlin’. I’m talkin’ about men in general.”

  “Well, thank goodness I’m not men in general. Of course, if I thought you’d set your hat for me, my run gear would take off like a greased pig at the county fair.”

  “I know that, but we won’t tell Dee that you’re a wuss,” Jodie said.

  “I’m going to go find one of Etta’s barbecue sandwiches and leave you girls to discuss the finer points of the sensitive male ego.” Jack disappeared into the nippy fall night air.

  “So what do you hear from Roseanna?” Dee asked.

  “Rosy is unhappy. Looks like not a one of you girls got a marriage that’ll make the golden years. Granny Brannon says Stella is hanging on by a thread. That actor she married is worthless. Rosy is so homesick she could cry, but she sticks with it, hoping that one day Trey will say they buy a ranch up around Tulsa where she can have horses and cows. It ain’t happening. I go up there every few months to that penthouse in the middle of downtown. It is not a pretty sight.”

  “That why you aren’t married? Did the three older bed and breakfast granddaughters sour you on men?” Dee asked.

  Was that Marla talking to Jack? Dee squinted, looking past clusters of people, across the street. Yes, it was Marla, and she was whispering something in Jack’s ear. Dee could feel herself turning a mossy shade of green. But she’d just laid down the law concerning Jack and the future. If he wanted to reconsider and marry Marla after all, if he wanted to move from Buckhorn Corner into town and be the mayor of Sulphur, if he wanted to have a yard full of kids with Marla, then Delylah Loretta Hooper couldn’t say a word.

  She’d lose his friendship because Marla would never understand a relationship like they had. Dee wasn’t sure she understood it, but a hollow spot in her heart grew so big that she felt a great cold gulf where a warm core had been just minutes before.

  Jodie touched her arm. “Hey, you haven’t heard a thing I said. You all right?”

  “I’m sorry.” Dee blushed.

  “He is handsome, isn’t he? Grew up to be a fine-looking man even though I had my doubts for a while. Thought he might never grow into those lanky old bones. I wondered why you two never got together. You were always the best of friends. Even closer than you were with Stella and Rosy.”

  “That’s the reason, Jodie. We’re friends. I love him too much to ruin it.” Dee was miserable watching Marla touch Jack’s arm and gaze up into his eyes.

  “Honey, you got a lot to learn. Just don’t let something slip through your fingers while you’re trying to figure out things.” Jodie stood up and disappeared into the crowd gathering around the front of the spookhouse.

  “Was that Marla?” Dee asked when Jack joined her on the curb.

  “Yep.” He ate a barbecue sandwich, wiped his chin on a paper towel, and popped the top on another soft drink. “I love these carnivals. Eat too much and then have to swallow half a bottle of Tums, but it’s worth every bit of it.”

  “So?”

  “So what?”

  “She looked like she could bypass all the good food and eat Tums off your naked body.”

  “Jealous?”

  “As hell,” Dee said.

  Jack chuckled. “You don’t have anything to worry about. She’s not getting cold feet. Besides, she wants to make her husband the mayor and then maybe a governor. I think she has her eyes set on the White House.”

  “She would never understand our friendship,” Dee said.

  “I don’t think I do either,” he said honestly.

 
Bodine and her friends arrived like a whirlwind and sorted out their purses from the pile beside Dee. “Hey, we’re going to eat and then we’ll be ready to go home. This has been the best festival ever. That haunted house scared the devil out of us.”

  “Then we can expect little angels in church tomorrow morning?” Jack asked.

  “We’re always angels.” Bodine blinked innocently.

  “Can we keep the limo to take us to church tomorrow?”

  “No, ma’am, you cannot,” Jack said. “But right now you can all go load up in it one more time and we’ll make a few loops around Davis and Sulphur before we take the ladies home for the night.”

  “It’s been wonderful, hasn’t it?” Clarissa sighed. “I feel like a princess.”

  “Me too,” chimed in the rest of the girls.

  The driver delivered all of Bodine’s friends to their front doors, then took Dee, Bodine, and Jack out to Buckhorn Corner. Bodine ran into the house to tell her mother all about the evening, and Dee walked across the lawns toward the trailer with Jack.

  Mimosa sat in the shadows on the bench in front of the store. “Hey, you two.”

  “What are you doing out here?” Dee asked.

  “Waiting on you. I can’t do it, Dee. I just can’t do it.”

  “What are you talking about, Mimosa?” Jack asked.

  “When are you leaving?” Dee asked.

  “In about thirty minutes. His name is Fred and he owns his truck. I’ll be the other team driver. We’ll be getting married day after tomorrow in Las Vegas. We’ve got a haul through there to Los Angeles. I thought I could retire and stay home, but I can’t. Roxie doesn’t need me. Not yet. I feel like I’m suffocating in this place. The desire to run has been so bad this past week I thought I’d die. Fred’s been pestering me for three months to go on the road with him. His partner quit last week and . . . well, I just wanted you to tell Roxie for me when she comes home from Molly’s.”

  “You tell her,” Dee said.

  “I can’t. Never could. That’s why I always run away at night or when she’s gone. I hear the truck coming up the road now. Fred isn’t going to pull into the drive. Tell her I love her but I just can’t retire yet. Come give your Momma a hug, darlin’. I’ll call every Friday night. That’s what Roxie is used to. She’ll be looking for the call. Oh, and here’s my cell phone number, and Fred’s truck license number and everything else you might need.”

  “Mimosa, don’t go. Stay here and fight this. Sure, you get the urge to run. We all do. But we’ll be your support group.” Dee begged.

  “Can’t do it, darlin’. I’ll die if I don’t get away.” Mimosa picked up her suitcase and waved as she jogged down the lane to the waiting semi.

  “It lasted four months this time. That’s a record,” Jack said.

  Dee sat down on the bench and drew her knees up to her chin. “I think for the first time I understand my mother.”

  “You feel the need to run?” Jack leaned against the porch post.

  “Not now, but I did seven years ago. Anything to get away from Buckhorn Corner, from Sulphur, even from Roxie. Then again, when Ray lowered that megabomb on me, the only place I could think to run to was right back home.”

  Jack moved to the bench and took her hand in his, holding it there, liking the feel of soft skin and small fingers in his big hand. “I’m glad you don’t feel the need to run anymore.”

  She leaned her head over to rest on his shoulder. “So am I, Jack. Be that as it may, it’s home and I’m glad to be here.”

  “Want me to tell Roxie when she comes home?”

  “No. I’ll do it. Roxie won’t be surprised. She liked having us all home for a while, but in the back of her mind, I’m sure she knew it was coming. Mimosa has been antsy for weeks now. We could all see it.”

  “Think Tally and Bodine will ever move?” He sat very still. The closeness of her was enough for that night.

  “In time. Tally’s been talking more and more about this one professor and she’s studying really hard to make good grades. I think she’s grown up and found herself. She’ll be a good mother to Bodine, and after all that’s gone on in Murray County, she’d be wise to move away. I hope she finds happiness,” Dee said.

  “And you?”

  “I’m the granddaughter who’s going to stay around and take care of Roxie. I’ve been down the broken road running from life and searching for the perfect family. The crazy thing circled right back around to this corner. I guess I found what I was looking for. I’m not leaving. The need to run isn’t there anymore.”

  Chapter Twelve

  The weather was perfect for Thanksgiving. Just enough bite in the air to let everyone know fall had pushed summer into the history pages, but enough sunshine peeping through the floating clouds to make the maple tree leaves sparkle. The red house on Buckhorn Corner was filled with the aroma of pies, cakes, ham, turkey, and hot rolls. Roxie was the general, and the rest of the family followed her orders.

  Votive candles in ceramic pumpkins burned brightly on the sideboard, blending their warm vanilla odor to those coming from the kitchen. The ivory damask tablecloth and matching napkins had been taken out of storage, washed, and carefully ironed. Now they graced the dining room table, along with the best china, silverware, and crystal.

  “Roxie, why are we doing all this?” Bodine asked. “Last Thanksgiving we fixed a little bitty chicken and some dressing for Jack and me and you, and we ate in the kitchen.”

  “This is one of our blessin’ days, child. We’ve got a full house coming for dinner today. Now you get busy and make the relish tray. Pickled okra and zucchini, watermelon rind pickles, and some of those little grape tomatoes for color.” Roxie basted the turkey one more time.

  “What if I don’t like him?” Bodine chose her favorite pickle dish. The divided one with three compartments. “What if he don’t like me?”

  “Then we’ll drown him in the lake,” Dee said from the stove where she stirred the baked beans simmering on a back burner. “Anyone who doesn’t like you doesn’t deserve to eat Roxie’s good dinner.”

  Bodine giggled. “Can we drown Fred too, so Mimosa will come back home?”

  “Sure,” Dee said. “How dare men think they can waltz right into our lives, steal our families right from under our noses, and we’ll still be all happy and sweet?”

  “What men?” Jack caught the tail end of the conversation as he came in the back door.

  “Not you,” Bodine wiped her hands on the oversized apron she wore over her Sunday dress and went to hug him. “You are family. I’m not so sure I’m going to like Fred or this Ken that Tally is bringing home either. Dee says if they don’t like me we’ll drown them in the lake.”

  “What’s not to like about you? You are perfect.” Jack talked to Bodine but looked at Dee.

  “Jack, you get the electric knife out and carve this ham,” Roxie said. “It’s a quarter ’til four, and I told them to be here on time. We’re eating at four o’clock sharp and those who aren’t here will have to eat cold, ungraced food.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Jack fished around under the cabinet and brought out the knife.

  He wore pleated khaki slacks and a dark green shirt with a button-down collar. His hair feathered back from his face, and his eyes twinkled. Dee had to work to keep from staring at him like a besotted teenager.

  Jack is the only one in this kitchen who looks normal. And for the first time in my life I love all of it, even the ones who are standing really close to the line dividing the rational from the insane.

  Roxie had chosen her signature ruffles. Flowing orange silk pants with two-inch ruffles sewn into the side seams. Matching blouse with ruffles at the neckline and wrists. Pearls around her neck and in her ears. Orange Italian leather high-heeled pumps. Her red hair was fluffed up to brand new heights, and she wore blue eye shadow and extra blush.

  Bodine had argued that she wanted to wear a pilgrim costume, but Roxie had put her foot down. The child could
choose a Sunday dress, but it could not be white and she was not to wear white shoes. After all, it was long past Labor Day and that was the cutoff point for wearing white in Roxie’s house. So Bodine was dressed in a deep burgundy velvet dress with a square neckline, a small ruby pendant in the shape of a B that Jack had given her for her birthday, and black patent-leather Mary Jane shoes.

  Dee had chosen a slim, fall floral skirt that grazed her ankles, loden green suede boots, and the same color sweater. Roxie had sent Tally upstairs half an hour before to get dressed, telling her that jeans and a T-shirt would not do on the day she’d invited her professor to dinner. No sir, Tally would present a pretty picture or she and the professor, Ken, would dang sure be eating out in the yard.

  The doorbell rang, and Tally yelled from the dining room that she’d get it.

  “He’s here,” Bodine whispered.

  “Take off your apron,” Jack whispered back. “Go on out there and decide whether we feed him or drown him. If we’re going to drown him, we’ll do it before he eats. No use wasting good food.”

  She giggled and slung open the swinging kitchen door into the dining room. Dee stuck a foot in the door as it swung back and motioned for Jack.

  “Is this legal?” His warm breath brushed across her neck and she shivered.

  “Probably not but I want to hear.” She put a finger to his lips, amazed anew at the tingles that came from touching him.

  “Hello, are you Bodine?” A deep voice floated through the dining room and to their ears. “I’m Ken and I’m very glad to be here today. These are for you. I understand you like to fish. So do I, and I make my own lures, so I brought you a half a dozen. Thought maybe you’d like this one. I made it with orange feathers since it is Thanksgiving.”

  “Wow!” One word said it all. “Did you really make these all by yourself? Will you show me how? After dinner you reckon we could go to the lake and try them out?”

  “Sure, I’ll teach you to make lures and I brought my equipment just in case you asked. Do you think we could ask your mom to go too? Hey, I see you are wearing pink nail polish. Maybe you could loan me some for a lure or two. I’ve got silver and red but I sure hate to go in the store and buy pink. It’s kind of embarrassing to take that color up to the counter.”