Being Lost: Satan's Devils MC San Diego #1

by Manda Mellett

  She’s sitting, open-mouthed, and I can see from here, her eyes are red and raw from crying. Rapping on the window, I indicate the door handle when I have her attention.

  A moment passes, then it unlocks. I wrench it open, crouch down and pull the sobbing woman into my arms. All the admonishments I was going to say are wiped from my mind. All the reasons why what she was doing was crazy, go unsaid.

  Her hands grip the sides of my cut. “I’m sorry,” she wails. “I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

  Again I bite back any comment about how I can look after myself, as a comparison shoots through my head. Kim only ever thought of herself. Patsy is putting me and her family first because she’s more worried about everyone else. Instead of telling her how stupid she’s been, I open my mouth and set some things straight.

  “I told you, you are mine, Patsy. Perhaps you didn’t get what I meant. You’re mine to love, mine to cherish, and mine to protect.” As she shakes her head, I place my fingers under her chin. “I get that you’re scared, Patsy. I’ll back off a bit if you need more time. I overwhelmed you last night, didn’t I?”

  “Last night was perfect, Lost. But it showed what you were coming to mean to me.” A tear rolls down her cheek, she wipes it away. “If you died…”

  “Babe, listen to me. I’m an MC prez, I ride with the Satan’s Devils MC. We’re not just one chapter, babe. You already know that. You know Demon would have my back if I need him. And not only Colorado. If I put out the word, I’ll have another hundred bikers here within a day. There’s not a problem too big that I and my brothers can’t solve. I’ll keep you safe, I promise you, babe, and neither my brothers nor I will take unnecessary risks.”

  This time, when her eyes turn toward mine, there’s a glimmer of hope in them. “Lost, I… I stopped because I knew what I was doing was wrong. I had this idea maybe I could get Alder to follow me, confront him, find out what he wants from me.”

  My eyes widen in fear at the thought of her doing it alone, while at the root of it, she’s got the makings of a plan. But Patsy facing him without backup? Hell to the no. The very idea makes my skin feel like it’s breaking out in hives. “We’ll talk, okay? We’ll work something out. We’ll get you free of Alder once and for all. But together, babe. Not having you going off on your own.”

  “Prez,” my name is snapped. I glance around at Token. “What?”

  He jerks his head. Dart comes up to take my place by Patsy’s side, as I walk a few steps away. “What you got?” I repeat.

  “Fucker’s playing with us.”

  “Who?”

  “I got a message.”

  This is like pulling teeth. “Who from?”

  “My bank,” Token emotionlessly informs me.

  If he’s pulled me away to tell me he’s gone overdrawn, I’ll lay him out cold. But it’s Token. I just stare and wait.

  “You know addresses can be hidden, yeah? This message isn’t from my bank at all. It’s from the fucker that seems to be able to hack into anything I touch.”

  He’s got my interest now. “What’s it say?”

  Instead of replying, he shows me:

  You took your time. I’ll leave the woman to you now.

  What the fuck? Immediately I look around. I’m just about to tell the guys to fan out and find whoever’s got fuckin’ eyes on us, but there’s only one way to enter this rest stop or leave. Trees and bushes have grown up high, so there’s no nearby high ground he could be spying from. He must be close. Close enough that I can almost taste his discovery. Maybe in one of the parked-up trucks, but his message said he was about to leave, and I can’t hear an engine starting.

  But Token stops me with a gesture of his hand. He’s pointing up into the air.

  The drone, hovering above us, dips, spins, then, after it’s weird approximation of a salute, rises and soars, heading away to fuck knows where.

  The air rushes out of my lungs, but I’m still not giving up. “How far can those things fly?” I snap, watching until it disappears over a rise.

  “Legally, you should stay close enough to keep it in view. But I doubt that fucker cares about legality at all. He could be anywhere, a few feet, yards, or a fuckin’ mile.” Token sounds like he’s talking through gritted teeth. Then when he too stops looking up, he shakes his head. “Only thing I got from that was that whoever it is had eyes on her too.”

  There’s only one thing that makes any sense, even though it sounds crazy. “He’s protecting her.”

  Token does his characteristic shrug. “She’s important to him. Does he want to keep her safe for her own sake? Or is there a purpose she can serve?”

  I don’t like there being anyone sniffing around Patsy, whatever reason he has, good or bad. He wants to talk to her? He’ll have to have words with me first. “How did he know she’d taken off in the first place?”

  “Obviously hacked into the same tracking app that I use.” Token sounds disgusted. “One thing I will say, Lost. This guy is better than me.”

  “Or he’s got more resources at his disposal.” I slap Token on the back. “He let us know he was here, and I want to know why. He could easily have spied on her, on us, without us being aware.”

  Token stops me as I’m about to walk off. “There’s more to think about, Prez. Why was he watching her? Was he going to step in and help if she got into trouble?” Token jerks his head toward the big eighteen wheelers parked up. “A lone woman, with only flimsy locked doors.”

  I had noticed and had been going to talk to her about that. But, upset as she was, I expect she’d needed to get off the road without analysing how safe it was first.

  “He was close enough to offer assistance if she got into trouble?” I ask, again, looking around.

  Token shakes his head. “No, but he’s probably tracking my fuckin’ phone. He knew we were on our way.”

  He’d let us see the drone. Was that just to show us the technology he was able to use? I feel sorry for Token, I know he feels he’s letting me down. “He’s not hiding from us. And, it looks like he’s on our side.”

  “Yeah.” Token closes his eyes then opens them again. “But hell, this is all fucked up. I deal in data, hate things coming at me from the side.”

  I can fully understand where he’s coming from. My world was all binary code once. Ones and zeros which all added up to make sense.

  Turning, I notice Dart’s got Patsy out of the car, and she’s dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. Fuck, I hate to see women cry, and particularly mine. Recently, she’s had cause to be upset far too much.

  “Let’s get back to the compound.” I pat Token on the back again. “That drone has reminded me eyes can be anywhere. I don’t like Patsy being out in the open.”

  I walk away, going to Patsy and Dart. “Babe, you’re on the back of my bike.” I want her where I can feel her, know that she’s close. It’s lucky I’ve still got the spare helmet in my saddlebag. Getting it out, I hand it to her along with the bandana and sunglasses she’d previously used.

  “My car…?”

  “Prospect!” All I need do is point, and he’s holding out his hand for her keys. Wrangler’s sheepish look reminds me how he fucked up. I hate disappointing any man, but I’ll be watching him extra carefully now. If he can’t demonstrate basic fucking common sense, he won’t be getting his patch. Sure, she might have told him I already knew, but he should have fucking checked.

  Token nods as though I’ve asked a question and swings himself up into the driver’s seat of the truck.

  As Patsy gets on behind me, her arms, without encouragement, come around my waist and hold me tight. Then, once everyone’s back on their rides, I start my engine.

  This time I’m in the lead, brothers behind me once again in formation, but the cages follow bringing up the rear. I only breathe easier once we’re back.

  It’s not just me. It’s only when we’re through the gates of the compound that I feel tension seep from Patsy.

  The thought that I m
ight have lost her forever turns my gut sour. If Token hadn’t thought to put a tracker on her car, I might never have found her. That someone other than us was also able to trace where she went, helps not one iota. That’s a mystery that needs to be solved.

  I tap her leg, she dismounts, then I walk my bike back and park. When I’ve swung my leg over the seat, I catch her eye.

  “We need to talk.”

  She bites her lip and looks down.

  “Come.” I hold out my hand, then lead her into the clubhouse, through the clubroom and up the stairs to my bedroom, the room I’d give anything to think of as ours.

  Avoiding the bed, I take her to the comfy sofa. Sitting, I tug her, overbalancing her so she all but falls into my lap, an oomph coming from her mouth. Wrapping my arms around her, I just hold her tight.

  We sit like that for a few minutes, our breathing falling into a pattern where our chests rise and fall in unison. It’s symbolic, reminding me we’ve got to get our heads onto the same page, and I can’t risk her running off again. Despite that it’s club business, it involves her. I go against every ingrained instinct and begin to talk to her.

  “Things are moving forward, babe. I know it probably feels to you that we’re treading water, but we’ve got a direction to swim in now. The numbers from the plans in the safe deposit box of yours were coordinates of two locations. One this side in San Diego, and one the Mexican side of the border. That strongly suggests there’s something linking the two, and as there’s no road, it points to a tunnel. Smoker, Niran and Reboot are going tonight to check it out.”

  “Isn’t that dangerous?” Of course her first worry is the risk to someone else.

  “Nah. This end is a Mexican restaurant. The only danger they’ll be in is risking a case of food poisoning. They’re only going to see how the land lies.”

  As I wanted, she huffs a laugh. “You think there really is a tunnel and that after all these years, he’s still using it?”

  “We don’t know anything, babe. It’s just worth checking out. Dan’s info cut off one of his routes, it’s possible he’s resurrected this one, or could have been using it all this time.” I take a breath and tell her the rest. “There’s a bit of a mystery. Someone, and we don’t know who, is hacking into our systems.”

  “But you’d make sure they’re secure, wouldn’t you? Aren’t you a computer genius or something?”

  Chuckling, I explain, “I’ve been out of the game too long to have much input, but Toke’s a good man. He’s tearing his hair out as he’s up against someone better. Thing is, it was an anonymous message that sent me to you in the first place, and,” I pause, then admit, “It wasn’t only us that were able to track your car.”

  I watch the blood drain from her face. “Alder?” she breathes.

  “No, babe,” I rush to reassure her. “It seems to be someone with your best interest at heart. But they’ve got technical skills I can’t help but admire, and not knowing who, or why, has unnerved me a little.” Her brow furrows in confusion, but I can’t tell her anything more.

  I just hold her while she shivers and reassure her. “You’re safe here now. We can lockdown the compound so it’s watertight if we have to.”

  “Who could it be?”

  “Have you any ideas, Patsy? Any family? Any friend, anyone who might have access to advanced technology who’d be trying to keep you safe?”

  “There’s no one,” she says fast. “My parents were only children, and so am I. My friends don’t have skills like that. I don’t even know anyone that’s an expert in computers except for Cad in Pueblo, but Demon would bring you in on that. You think this strange person is on my side? Not wanting to hurt me? Surely that’s nothing to worry about?” She pauses, then adds, almost hopefully, “Could it be the cops or the feds?”

  “No, I’m pretty sure it’s not the authorities. It’s just that I don’t like mysteries,” I tell her. “But on the face of it, no. It’s not a concern.”

  I didn’t think she’d have answers for me, but it was worth a try. She’d tensed when I told her about the strange contacts but relaxes again against me now.

  “You shouldn’t have left, Patsy.”

  “I still think it was for the best. It’s me Alder is after. You just told me you’re sending your men into danger, and the other mystery of someone else watching me. I’m the common denominator. If I go, everyone’s safe.”

  I didn’t want to have to spell it out to her, but there’s something she’s missing. “Demon’s got Beth covered, but there’s always a chance something will go wrong.”

  She narrows her eyes. “What do you mean, he’s got Beth covered?”

  “Either Ink or a prospect is always with her.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Patsy, what draws a mother out of the woodwork faster than a bullet flies?” When her mouth opens in terror, I continue, “Need me to spell it out? That her daughter, her only surviving child as far as Alder knows, is being threatened or hurt.”

  “But…”

  I hate the look of panic I’ve just put on her face. “There’s only one way to deal with this babe. You want everyone safe, that’s my aim as well. But to reach that outcome, Alder has to be dealt with. The common denominator, as you put it, is him, not you.”

  She considers my words quietly for a moment. “I’ve been stupid, haven’t I? I thought it all through, but I never considered that. That he’d use others to find me.”

  “Should have spoken to me, babe.” I sigh, thinking I know why she didn’t. “You acted on impulse, didn’t you?” I go for the jugular. “Tell me, babe. What made you leave? Today of all days?”

  Her head comes up, her eyes meet mine, then she looks away fast.

  “You scared, Patsy?”

  “Of course I am. Alder wants me for some reason. Now, you say he could use my family to get to me, and there’s someone else who knows where I am. Of course, I’m freaking scared.”

  “Nah, those are reasons for staying,” I refute, “not for leaving. Did I push you too hard last night?”

  She counters with her own question. “What you said, when you found me? That I was yours.” I just wait for her to continue, and she doesn’t disappoint. “I’m starting to have feelings for you, Lost.”

  Without being conceited, I knew that was at the heart of her problems. “Babe.” I turn her head so she’s forced to look at me. “Maybe our marriages have shown us what we don’t want so we find it easier to recognise what we do when we find it. I was attracted to you the first moment I saw you. When I got to know who you were, I began to fall fast. You’ve got me under your spell, Patsy. Sure, it’s happened fast, but to hell with societal precepts. If you want me to say it first, I will. I love you, Patsy.”

  “It’s too soon,” she protests. “And look at the baggage I come with.”

  “Who’s to say it’s too soon?” I counter. “What do you feel for me?” I press.

  “I can’t drag you into something we might not survive.”

  “What do you feel?” I ask again, holding onto her chin so she can’t look away.

  “You want me to say it? You want me to voice what’s impossible this soon?” she cries out. “You want me to tell you that driving away, I didn’t want to live without you. You want me to say what I don’t want to admit to myself?”

  I answer none of her questions. Just stare into her eyes.

  “You make my heart race. You brighten up the room when you walk in. You make me feel safe, protected and cherished. I want to sleep in your bed, in your arms, wake up with you every day. You… you… It’s too soon, but I love you, Lost.”

  Thank fuck. I can’t hold back any longer, and my lips find hers. Our mouths meld together, our teeth meet, our tongues advance and retreat as passion sweeps through us both.

  I thought I’d loved Kim. I hadn’t known what love was. It’s not feeling you’d do anything for the other person in your life, it’s the knowledge that they’d reciprocate in the same way. Patsy was prepared to risk everythi
ng to keep me safe, not recognising that I’d do the same.

  Eventually we pull away, and I rest my forehead against hers. “We’ll sort this out,” I promise her. “We’ll get rid of the threat of Alder and be able to make a future together.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Lost

  Our kiss had had the predictable reaction on my cock, and Patsy noticed. Neither of us objected when I suggested bringing him out to play. It was what we both needed, to get as close as humanly possible. Quickly, we’d removed the boundary of clothing between us and came together in the way that a man and a woman in love should.

  Last night had been fun, we’d joked around. Today, we’d made love silently. Our hands touching, fingers exploring, eyes meeting, our bodies moving together saying with just physical responses all that we had to say. I worshipped her, showing the truth of the emotion I’d told her I’d felt for her. That couple of hours when I’d feared I might never see her again accelerating the declaration that I hadn’t expected to utter today. It was clear her risking our relationship had focused her mind in the same way.

  After, sated, we dozed together. I fell asleep, with my woman in my arms.

  “Lost, you okay, babe? You were tossing and turning.”

  I open my eyes to see Patsy staring down, her brow furrowed. I try to grasp the vestiges of my dream, but it’s rapidly fading.

  “Just a dream,” I tell her, cupping my hand around her cheek. Unromantically, my stomach chooses that moment to growl loudly. Chuckling, I sit up. “You hungry, babe?”

  Her eyes examine my face as though checking I’m really alright, then her face relaxes. “Starving,” she replies, lazily.

  I tap her ass. “Well, let’s get showered and go grab something.”

  “I need to speak to Dan.” Her eyes widen as she realises she’d forgotten about him. “Lost, what do I say to him? How do I explain?”

  “I doubt he knows anything,” I reassure her. “My men won’t say a thing about what’s gone on, and I didn’t see him when we returned. I suspect he’s oblivious to the fact you were missing.” If he’d known, I’d have expected him to have beaten my door down by now.