Being Lost: Satan's Devils MC San Diego #1

by Manda Mellett

  “Got to make sure he didn’t die in vain, Patsy. We’ve started this, and we’re going to make sure we finish it. It’s our battle as much as yours now.”

  She’s quiet. “When?”

  She’ll notice when I don’t come to bed tonight. Hell, she’ll know when she sees the mood in the clubhouse.

  “Tonight.”

  She takes in a deep breath. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Don’t say anything, babe. Things are set in motion and there’s nothing you can do to stop them now.”

  “Okay. But please, take care. You’ve lost one man already,” her voice breaking as she says it.

  I know that, and I’ll never forget. “Babe, we found out shit tonight. Shit that will help us get organised. This was already dangerous. The information we got will make sure we’re not unprepared. I’m not stepping back from this.”

  “It’s because of me…”

  “It’s because of Smoker.” I kiss the top of her head. “The brothers won’t stop now, babe.” She’ll understand but won’t like it. I give her something to focus on instead, something she should take the lead on as she’s my old lady. “Babe, will you do me a favour? Organise a send-off for Smoker? Eva will help, all the other chapters will need to be invited, but I’d like you to take the lead.”

  “Conan Holmes,” she says carefully, “I will do that, but only if you promise me I won’t be doing it for anyone else.”

  Hopefully there will be more deaths tonight, but none who she’ll need to mourn.

  I can’t give her the words, so I kiss her instead. Despite her lips bringing me comfort, it doesn’t stop my mind racing, going over what I’ve got to do next. When our mouths part, she settles with her head on my chest. It’s comforting. My hand automatically caresses her hair. Gradually, her breathing evens while my brain continues to work.

  Plan, plan, then plan again. Check every detail and make no assumptions. Not paying enough attention to the auto-shop or considering how they could be set up got Smoker killed tonight.

  Patsy stays where she is, her head on my chest.

  What will we do if Alder is there?

  What will we do if he’s not?

  How many men will we be facing?

  What about the women, will we be able to rescue them, and will they come with us without a fuss?

  What exactly will we be walking into?

  How can I keep everyone safe?

  At some point, pure exhaustion must take over as, when I’m next aware, it’s morning. The head on my chest is gone, in fact, other than me, the bed is empty. Reaching for my phone, I see it’s late in the morning. Patsy must have let me sleep in. I stretch, then still, as memories of the night before return to me.

  Smoker’s gone. He’s dead.

  I sit up, all vestiges of sleep wiped away. Tonight, we’ll wreak Satan’s Devils’ revenge on those responsible for his death.

  Not forgotten you, Brother. Nor what you did.

  I won’t let him down.

  I’m surprised I hadn’t had a nightmare last night, Snake appearing to admonish me. Maybe it was Patsy’s comforting presence that kept him away, or maybe, for once, he had nothing to say to me.

  Snake’s voice in my head is my own subconscious taunting me and usually delighting in pointing out my mistakes. But I hadn’t made one, it was just circumstances I had no control over. What I need to do now is put plans into place that mean nothing tonight is left to chance.

  I get myself ready and dressed, grab something to eat, then motion to the men in the clubroom, not surprised everyone is there, ready to meet.

  Now we’re in church, making our plans as watertight as humanly possible.

  “You want me on lookout again?” Pennywise offers, but he doesn’t look too happy about it.

  I consider him and his offer. As a sniper he’d held his unit’s record for hitting a target at fifteen hundred yards. The sights on his rifle are powerful, making him uniquely qualified to watch out for us from a distance. He’d given us a warning last night that saved our lives, but tonight it’s going to be different. And Pennywise is also a good man to have beside you in hand-to-hand combat.

  “We do need a look out, Prez, but how about Curtis?” Niran suggests. “He’s almost through to getting his patch, and he impresses me.”

  “That’s because you’re twins,” Reboot jokes.

  “Yeah, yeah.” Niran rolls his eyes. “What’s your name again? I get you muddled up as you white folks all look the same.”

  There are snorts of laughter directed at Reboot who gives a good-natured grin.

  “I like Curtis.” I stare around the table. “But I need him here. Don’t want to leave the compound unguarded.”

  “Can Dan handle himself?” Grumbler asks.

  “I’d say so,” Salem replies. “Been talking to him. He used to be the muscle for his father. He’s also interested in prospecting.”

  “Whatcha thinking?” I ask the sergeant-at-arms.

  Grumbler looks my way. “Let Curtis come along, see how he does in the field. Dan and Wrangler can hold the fort here.”

  It’s not a bad idea. The more men we have, the easier it will be to take the fuckers that killed Smoker down.

  “Wet work tonight, brothers, if we can.” Grumbler now turns to the details. “Anyone got a problem with that?”

  It seems no one has. I’m happy to avoid bullets if we can. Even silencers aren’t good after being fired a few times, and we don’t want to draw unwanted attention by re-enacting the shootout at the OK Corral.

  We’re now down to the details. After some back and forth, accepting some ideas, dismissing others, our plans become concrete.

  “You know what you’re doing, Reboot?”

  “Sure, Prez. Me, Brakes, Keeper and Kink are getting there about ten. We’ll stay until we’re kicked out at closing time.”

  “I’ll feed my habit.” Brakes looks around, making sure everyone is listening. “Deuce will be outside when I come out smoking. If I flick my lighter twice, I’ll have information.”

  “Otherwise you keep out of sight, Deuce, got it?”

  Deuce rewards me with a chin lift. He’s got it.

  “Anyone going to stand in for Smoker?” Salem asks. “Would be useful to have eyes out back.”

  It would. And now we’ve lost them. “No, it’s too dangerous. Can’t introduce another homeless man, that would arouse suspicions.”

  “And the waitstaff?” Grumbler questions Niran again.

  “I honestly can’t see how they’re involved.” He glances at Reboot who backs him up with a raised chin. “Can’t be certain of course, but apart from Enrico, the owner, who’s in it up to his neck, they don’t seem the type.”

  “So nothing is likely to happen until after closing when they’ve gone home,” I surmise. “But don’t take chances. We can’t know that for sure. You have your fuckin’ eyes on everyone in that restaurant, whether they look innocent or not. Everyone acquainted themselves with that description of Alder?” The four who’ll be eating there all nod. I’d had to ask Patsy for the details of what he looked like as Token was unable to come up with a recent picture. She’d seen him last at Connor’s funeral. While I suspect it’s highly unlikely he’ll put in an appearance early in the night, it’s good to have the information so we can be on the lookout just in case.

  Eventually I feel all questions which could be asked have been brought up, all contingency plans discussed, brothers rehearsed in backup plans B, C, D and fucking E. I’m determined not to have another Smoker on our hands tonight.

  It’s only then I begin to dismiss church.

  “Prez?” Salem interrupts. When I raise my chin, he continues, “You know what Snake was like when he sat in that seat?”

  I stiffen, wondering where he’s going with this.

  Salem glances down the table at the old-timers, giving them chin lifts. “Bird, now, he was someone you could trust and follow. Cautious and careful.”

  I
feel even worse, now thinking my deficiencies as a prez are going to be highlighted. Have I fucked up? Is this where they replace me as prez?

  Grumbler eyes him thoughtfully. “Lost is something else though, isn’t he?”

  They can all see what a failure I am.

  “Sure fuckin’ is,” Bones says. “May not like talking something to death, but you know what? Even if we get to Plan Z tonight, I reckon we’ll all be fuckin’ word perfect.”

  Dart barks a laugh. “Prez,” he addresses me directly, “I think what they’re trying to say is that you’re not Snake, not Bird, but better than both. You’re a fuckin’ good man they’d all follow to the ends of the fuckin’ earth.”

  “Now you’re putting words in my mouth, VP,” Salem objects, then he smirks. “And yeah, though I wouldn’t have put it so fuckin’ eloquently, that’s what I was trying to say.” When I go red, thinking how to respond, he adds, “Just wanted to put it out there after what Shark said. Wanted to make sure you knew, Prez, that we chose the best fuckin’ man to lead this club, and there’s not one man here who doubts that.”

  “Yeah.” Bones sniffs and wipes his nose. When he’s returned the grubby rag into his pocket, he continues, “Don’t think you know this Lost, but the club met when you went to Tucson along with Snake and Poke on their final one-way trip. Had words about whether we were going to walk away or work to make this club survive. Well, on that we were undecided. What we did know was there was only one man we’d get behind if we were going to give it a shot. Even if Drummer hadn’t made the suggestion, that seat was already yours in our eyes.”

  “You came through,” Salem takes over again. “Pulled us together as a functional unit once again. Not sure there’s any other man who could have done that. You, with Dart as VP by your side. You care about this fuckin’ club, Lost. Care about each of us, whether we live, die, have food in our bellies and enough money to get by. Three years ago, I wasn’t certain if I could trust again, but hell, Prez, you showed me I could.”

  “Goes for all of us, Brother.” Brakes speaks up, his words echoed all around.

  I’m humbled. Disbelieving. Fuck me, there are even tears in my eyes. But I can’t say they are wrong. Snake would have told the men to jump, and that’s what they’d have done. But in the right direction or high enough? He didn’t give a fuck. I have a personal reason to know he didn’t care who lived and who died. In the end, he all but destroyed the club with his selfishness.

  But to hear them say they’d already picked me before Drummer had said a word? That their doubts had been whether the club had a future, not that it was me they were worried about riding behind? And then to hear they acknowledged what Dart and I had done when we pulled this club back together. I’m a man. I don’t cry. And I’ll be damned if I wipe away tears that threaten to fall, but I’m so fucking full of pride.

  I have no idea how to respond to their words. I can’t express how I’m feeling to hear they’ve got confidence in me and giving me the assurance that should this go wrong, it won’t be for lack of preparation.

  “Can we go over Plan Z again as I kind of lost it at Y?” Snips quips, I think to break the emotional overload I don’t think I’m the only one to be suffering from.

  I try to think of something, anything I could say to respond, but can’t find words that will cut it just now.

  Dart notices my predicament, or perhaps it’s because he shares my own plight. Instead of a great speech, he bangs his fist over his chest. “For Smoker. For us. Tonight we’ll ride. Ride Satan’s Devils. Satan’s Devils Ride together.”

  Our battle cry is taken up from every seat.

  My ears are still ringing when the meeting finally breaks up.

  Word’s clearly gone around that something’s happening tonight. I was right to warn Patsy as it’s obvious. No one would have needed to say anything, it’s hard to hide that Smoker hasn’t returned, and with brothers disappearing at all hours it’s obvious that something’s about to go down. Out in the clubroom the sweet butts are noticeably quiet and keeping to themselves. I hear one word whispered time after time, revenge. Yes, that’s what’s expected when we’ve lost one of our own.

  Weapons are being checked and made ready. Wrangler and Curtis are rushing around, making sure hands have beers close by.

  I see the man I’m looking for. He’s standing alone, looking uncertain. I make my way over there now.

  “Dan.” I greet him with a chin lift. “Where’s your mom?”

  “She and Eva are making sandwiches. They thought something quick and easy would suit you tonight.”

  They’re right. No one’s in the mood to sit and chat over a plated meal, something they can eat while still making preparations will do well.

  “Need to discuss something with you.” I point to an empty table, and Dan precedes me to it. When we’re sitting down, I continue, “Can’t give you the details. But we’re all heading out tonight.”

  I’ve caught his interest. “How can I help?”

  “I need to take Curtis with me. Want you to stay here with Wrangler and keep the compound buttoned down.”

  He pulls back his shoulders. “I can do that. I won’t let you down.”

  “You got a gun?”

  He shakes his head. “Go see Grumbler. He’ll see your sorted out. I take it you know how to use one?”

  He rolls his eyes. “Sure do.”

  “Good. When this is over, we’ll talk about getting you onboard as a prospect, okay?” The brothers will need to vote on it, but I doubt anyone would raise an objection. And if we patch Curtis in, then we’ll be a prospect short and we don’t have anyone else waiting.

  His eyes have lit up. “I won’t let you down, Prez.”

  “Not your prez quite yet,” I tell him with a smile. “But someone’s got a new title. Your mom told you she’s my official ol’ lady?”

  “Official?” His eyes go wide. “You got an unofficial one too?”

  I make as if I’m going to hit him. He jumps back with a laugh. Then his face falls. “There is no way in hell I’m going to be calling you Dad.”

  “Thank fuck.” I grin back at him.

  “Got a minute, Prez?”

  I hold up one finger to Pennywise and turn back to Dan. “I’m trusting you. Don’t let me down.”

  “I won’t.” His reply is spoken seriously. As I get up to go see what Pennywise wants, I notice Dan wasting no time and is hovering, waiting to catch the eye of the sergeant-at-arms.

  Pennywise wants to go over something again. He’s not the last either. The next few hours pass in a flurry of discussions with one person, then another. I don’t mind, the more we go over it, the better prepared we’ll be if something goes wrong.

  I have to admit I’ve got more of a spring in my step today. My fears and uncertainties about being the right man for Prez had dissipated when the men showed such faith in me. If they believe in me, maybe it’s time I should believe in myself. As I answer questions left, right and centre, I become surer of the outcome tonight. It’s too much to hope we’ll actually be able to get our hands on Alder, but we’ll damage his operation to ensure he sits up and takes notice. Then, when I’ve got him where I want him, I’ll reel him in.

  I slap more than a few backs and get mine slapped in return. The mood is one of anticipation, adrenaline starting to build in our veins.

  I talk to Curtis with Salem beside me. The prospect seems to take it as an honour he’s being included in some of the information we’re not sharing with Wrangler, but then, he’s been prospecting for longer. I relieve him of the prospecting duties so he’s got a chance to get his head around exactly what we need him to do. Hovering, I’m pleased to see him listening carefully to, then asking questions of Salem who I notice is still walking with a fucking limp. But he insists he’ll strap it up and will be good to go tonight.

  Dan, well, he impresses me too. Though nobody’s asked him, seeing Wrangler struggling to keep everyone in fresh beers, he busies himself helping
the prospect, replenishing tables and taking away empties and, because of what’s coming tonight, we’re turning a blind eye to people smoking inside for once, keeping the ash trays clean.

  The ash trays that remind me of Smoker.

  We’re coming to get you, Brother. Not leaving you alone any longer than we can help.

  When I snag a sandwich for myself, I take a moment to pull Patsy toward me, and like we spent the night, holding her cheek against my chest for a moment. She gives me strength, and a purpose, allowing me to take comfort from her. Something, someone to come home to. In a brief moment of quiet contemplation, I realise this is what I’ve been missing all my life.

  After a hard day I’d pull myself back up and go home to keep Kim happy and satisfied, seeing that all her needs were met and catered to. Patsy’s already showing she’s different. She’s made sure I’ve had enough to eat—all my brothers as well come to that, seeing a second round of sandwiches was needed and making them without being asked. She’s not asking for information that I’m unable to give her, as though she’s decided that now I’m set on a course she won’t be able to change it, relieving me of extra pressure of justifying myself to her.

  When I finally have to leave, she pulls herself up a little straighter, looks me in the eye and tells me to come back as soon as I can. No pleading, no tears, no begging to change something she can’t influence. My eyes linger on her a moment before I walk out the door.

  My phone rings as I reach my bike. I take it out and answer it.

  “Prez.”

  “Deuce. What’s up?”

  “Kink came out for a smoke. I walked past and pretended to tie up my shoelace. He doesn’t know what Niran was talking about. The food’s crap and the service poor and sloppy. Reboot hasn’t been recognised—he says it’s a whole different team working tonight, except for the manager. There are three waiters from what he can see, no female waitstaff. And he saw two more in the kitchen when he went to the head.”

  “Thanks Deuce. That’s useful to know. Did Kink have anything else for you?”

  “That’s it. They’re staying as long as they can before they get kicked out.”

  I end the call and beckon the brothers around me. “Kink’s reported back. The staff are all different tonight. Five men and the manager. That’s all he’s been able to see.”