Mixed Emotions

by MIA HEINTZELMAN

  Oli covered her mouth with a fist and pointed at her. “Ooh, now there’s a lie—a bold-faced lie.”

  Zora sighed and shrugged, but Oli’s gaze narrowed.

  “Yeah. Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that. I have an eye for this sort of thing. The way you act around each other? I should snap a picture to let you both in on it.”

  Shit.

  The thing about falling for a guy before hitting puberty is it has a way of ruining it for everyone else down the line. Oli knew it. Whether Zora wanted to admit it or not, she knew it, too. It certainly didn’t make matters any better he was her brother’s best friend.

  “Look, let us be. We’re good the way we are. We’re just…having fun together. I don’t want or need a man.”

  “Is that the story you’re sticking with?”

  “Yes, and anyway, I don’t need any distractions. My agent—” Zora giggled at the way it sounded so surreal on her tongue. “She gave me twelve weeks to get this book ready. She wants me to find my niche and come up with a new title to go along with the pictures, recipes, and personal stories. I really don’t need a man right now.”

  Well, maybe for a few things that didn’t require her to buy batteries in bulk at Costco, but, no, really, she didn’t want a man at the moment. Especially, if it isn’t Mike.

  Oli turned and grabbed Zora’s hands, squeezing as she deepened her gaze. “Fine. Whatever, but just for tonight, let’s lose ourselves.”

  Oh, just…lose ourselves. No big deal. Nothing to write home about.

  Except that it was for Zora.

  Ever since she was four, her singular goal in life had been to avoid losing herself and to stay true to the woman her grandmother raised her to be—strong against the odds. It was exhausting but worth it when she knew what being weak did to a woman. Mom. Every day that she looked in the mirror, she was reminded.

  For one night and for the friends who were coming to celebrate with her, though, she could afford to let loose. Heck, she was already dressed the part.

  Zora put on her game face. “Fine.”

  Oli did a bouncy, happy dance and stepped forward as they reached the door. She opened her purse for the beefy doorman, then stopped to give him a sultry, batted lash look before she turned back and waggled her eyebrows at Zora.

  “Work and play don’t have to be mutually exclusive,” she purred.

  Zora was pretty sure that last bit wasn’t meant solely for her benefit, considering the fine specimen of man her friend was flirting with.

  Zora opened her small clutch, smiling awkwardly at the bouncer. “Thanks. Anyway,” she said to Oli. “Mike and I are friends. That’s it. I’m fine by myself. Plus, he’s with Kate, and, he’s not here.”

  Oli snickered. “I’m just going to mind my own business, sit back, and watch what happens.”

  Chapter Two

  Mike

  Michael Kennedy sat on the edge of a wooden stool with his elbows propped on the long, sleek black bar and his chin resting on his clasped hands. While he knew he should be looking around the silent disco for Olivia and Zora, he wasn’t exactly in any hurry to find them, considering Kate’s prickly mood.

  “Do you see them yet?” she asked for about the fifth time since they’d arrived.

  “Relax.”

  He wrapped his hand around Kate’s and flashed her a reassuring smile. Within a few minutes, a young bartender with a full beard and two sleeves of tattoos nodded in his direction.

  “I’ll have a jack and Coke and a vodka cranberry for the lady,” Mike called out over the hum of the crowd.

  “You’d think they’d be here before anyone else.”

  The impatience in Kates’s voice ripped through Mike’s thoughts. It irritated the shit out of him, but at the moment, he was picking his battles. Really, he didn’t know what to expect.

  Would Kate and Zora resort to that female tendency to hate, then judge, before looking closer to see if they liked one another?

  Mike blew out a breath to try to take the edge off. It wasn’t Zora he was worried about. He’d known her since she was a kid. The girl was laid-back, even-tempered, and fun-loving. But Kate was territorial and unpredictable—always on defense. This meant he was going to have to spend the rest of the night convincing Kate she had nothing to worry about.

  He and Zora were friends.

  How many times do I have to say it?

  Mike scanned the sea of faces and swaying bodies. The silence was baiting his nerves. Maybe if he saw Zora first, he’d have a small advantage. Be able to gauge the situation and see where her head was at…warn her. But, still no sign of them.

  Kate released an audible sighed.

  “Chill. We just got here, too. They’ll be here soon.”

  She whipped her head around to face and scrutinize him as if there was more to this night out. “I’m just a little confused. Tell me again why you have to be here?” Her tone was laced with accusation. “You’re Everett’s friend, not Zora’s.”

  In a divine act, the bartender placed their order on the edge of the bar, saving him. Mike made a mental note to leave a generous tip.

  “Thanks, man.”

  For a few seconds, he pinched the bridge of his nose. Then he grabbed both of their drinks. At this point, Kate seemed to sense his annoyance and shimmied between his legs, appealing to a lower power. Mike’s hands betrayed him as he set his drink down again and let his hands wander down the thin fabric of her black mini dress.

  He sighed.

  Sadly, and far too cliché for his liking, if there was one thing that he was a sucker for, it was a tight dress.

  Kate ran her fingers through his hair and waited for him to meet her gaze.

  “I told you,” Mike began. “With the high-risk pregnancy, Everett and Sophia didn’t want to be out. Plus, Zora got a book agent and everyone is going to be here to celebrate. She’s like a sister to me. I’ve known her forever.” He exhaled and began again slow and measured. “You wanted to come. I could’ve just as easily dropped in by myself. I just want to tell her congratulations, so we only have to be here for a little while.”

  Mike laid two twenties on the bar, picked up his drink, and stood. “Tell you what. Why don’t we put these headphones on and enjoy ourselves—have a good time while we wait for them?”

  Kate shrugged and forced a tight smile. Her eyes were a frigid shade of iced marble.

  “Drink up. Let’s dance. I want to see you how you move in this dress.” Mike winked, ignoring her attitude, and polished off his cocktail. As he waited for Kate to finish hers, he checked his phone one more time and pulled his headphones over his ears.

  Before long, he and Kate were vibing to the hard beat of a rap mix, courtesy of the deejay on the right. Their headsets illuminated with blue lights, and bass pounded in their ears. Mike preferred the green station, but Kate kept urging him toward the upbeat sounds of some new mumble rapper.

  Beat for beat, she matched Mike’s moves, their bodies molded together as they grinded up against one another, groping and kissing.

  Inarguably, Kate was fine. Physically, she could make any red-blooded, heterosexual male drool. She had wild, curly, blonde hair, cool ivory skin, and, usually, a pair of sunny blue eyes. Her face was Cosmo, her body was Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, and if that weren’t enough, she was a Trailblazers cheerleader, to boot.

  For the life of him, he couldn’t understand how a woman with all the goods could be so insecure.

  Zora wasn’t his girlfriend. She was his bounce-ideas-off-her, call-when-you-need-a-friend, gets-me-on-a-different-level person, but that was just because they’d known each other for almost two decades. Kate should understand that. The fact that Zora had grown up from a scrawny, ashy-kneed kid into a woman was beside the point. It was bound to happen.

  Mike lifted his chin and his eyes darted into the dark corners of the club, searching for Zora.

  Still nothing.

  “Turn to the green,” Kate moaned, closing her eyes.
Her hips were winding as she threw her hands up in the air.

  “Gotcha.” He forced a smile as he pushed the button.

  As far as Mike was concerned, awkward introductions like the one about to happen tonight were further reason he kept his romantic life separate from his friends and family, especially Zora. It just seemed cleaner and neater that way.

  Which was why he hadn’t mentioned Zora’s party to Kate.

  When Olivia called out of the blue the week before, he’d only answered because he thought it might have been an emergency—that, and sheer curiosity since she never called him. During the few interactions they did have during game nights, he got the distinct impression Olivia hated him. So, he couldn’t imagine why she was calling.

  Unfortunately, once he was on the phone and Olivia got to talking about a celebration for Zora’s book deal, he had a hell of a time trying to get her to pump the brakes. Not only was he busy working on the building purchase proposal that could tip the scales toward making him partner, but Kate was only a few feet away in the shower. Still, Olivia pressed on, insisting he take the details, and by the time he’d jotted them down, it was too late. Kate was already out of the shower, wondering where “we” were going.

  “I can’t wait to finally meet your friends.”

  For three days, the party was all Kate talked about until she found out the celebration was for Zora. So, Mike had been both looking forward to this day and dreading it.

  Mike kept the drinks and the music flowing, and soon he’d loosened up and lost track of the time.

  A flush crept over Kate’s skin and she peeled her hair off her neck and pulled it into a ponytail. “I’m going to run to the restroom. I’ll be right back.” She was winded and smiling as she walked toward the back of the club. She seemed like she was finally having a good time.

  In her wake, Mike didn’t leave the dance floor. He closed his eyes and fell into the rhythm of the music. At the change of the song, he checked his phone to see there were still no updates on Olivia and Zora’s whereabouts, but, as he lifted his chin and scanned the room, he spotted a couple of Zora’s friends, Remi and Steph. They were dancing off to the side with some other girls he’d met once or twice but whose names he couldn’t quite remember.

  Mike waved.

  When they saw him alone, they all rushed over to dance with him.

  “Hey guys, how are you?” he asked, noticing the slight slur to his voice.

  One by one, the girls greeted him with a hug.

  “Oh my gosh. We thought you weren’t coming.” Remi’s brows furrowed in question. “Zo is going to be so stoked.”

  “Yeah. Olivia invited me. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. I know how hard she’s been working toward publishing her book. Where is she?” Mike lifted his chin above the crowd on the dance floor.

  “You know how she is. She’s over there by the bar pretending to have a good time. She’s doing a good job of it tonight. Zo is fierce. You might not even recognize her.”

  “Oh, yeah?” He cocked his head to the side, unsure about what Remi meant.

  Why wouldn’t I recognize Zora?

  “Uh…” His lips twitched as he bit back a laugh. He forgot exactly what he was about to say. For some reason he couldn’t explain, a mixture of curiosity and disbelief flooded his insides. He needed to know what Remi was talking about. Whatever it was, it was enough to give him pause.

  He hated change.

  More to the point, he hated the idea of Zora changing.

  In the back of his mind, she was sort of the sweet mainstay in his life—untouched by time. To him, she would always be Everett’s crazy little sister who kept him tapped in to what was current and cool. She wasn’t exactly a millennial, but she definitely had the undistracted drive and leaned into her goals with a fierceness he envied.

  “I’ve, uh…been looking for her. Will you take me to her?”

  Mike looked over his shoulder toward the restrooms for Kate before weaving himself into the crowd behind Remi and the other girls. As he worked his way around, the dimly lit wall framing the sleek bar came into view, and he felt a vibration in his pocket. He fished his phone out just as a notification dropped down from the top of the screen.

  Zora had posted something.

  Or, rather, Olivia tagged her in a picture.

  As the image filled the screen, it did take Mike a second to recognize Zora. His gaze raked lazily over her. Usually, she wore loose jeans and T-shirts or some casual bohemian getup. He wasn’t blind, he’d seen her in shorts, so he knew she had great legs. Every once in a while, she’d show off some midriff, but not much else. Tonight, though, she was wearing a tight, sexy blue dress that gave him a good idea of what she was working with underneath it.

  Every nerve ending in his body stirred and tingled as he scrutinized her.

  This Zora wasn’t the friend he hung out with sometimes and played games with since they were kids. That sleek body didn’t belong to Everett’s cute little sister, either. Nor the endless legs extended by a pair of clear heels or the delicate column of her neck or the pink-tinted pouty lips…

  Mike bit his own lip remembering how he once got to taste her mouth so long ago. The memory took him aback. He hadn’t thought about it in years. That was intentional. He wouldn’t let himself.

  He was breathless.

  And apparently, losing his mind.

  It’s the same Zora. Nothing has changed, he tried telling himself.

  But as he dissected every one of her lean, svelte curves, Mike felt the change by the tightening of his cock. He couldn’t unsee the woman. He zoomed in on the image. Her smooth, tawny skin and slightly flushed pink cheeks. Her expressive almond-shaped eyes still held the promise of joy, a summer sunset, and all of their inside jokes.

  What am I doing?

  In the picture, the room was dark and crowded, but Zora was on the side of the bar where he’d been sitting earlier with Kate. Below the image there were no comments, only three hashtags. #Silentdisco #Zoragothergrooveback #Mikewho

  Mike who?

  Am I the surprise? Is this why Olivia invited me?

  At the moment, he didn’t know whether to hug or strangle Zora’s friend. His heartbeat raced as warmth flooded his body. His eyes darted over to the bar as he pushed passed people. He was breathless as he made his way to the edge of the dance floor. Then he spotted her.

  Zora.

  She was leaning on a barstool with her arms wrapped around some guy’s neck and her lips pressed to his.

  Mike’s heart dropped into his stomach. He felt like he’d been sucker punched. A burning sensation took root in his chest, and his stomach hardened. He felt the heat rise to his face as anger and humiliation washed over him. His breaths were coming coarser and faster.

  What the fuck, Olivia?

  He definitely wanted to strangle her. He was pissed—mostly at himself.

  Where is all this coming from? Why do I want to pummel that guy?

  Mike tore his gaze away, tasting the bitterness on his tongue. He couldn’t watch.

  It was then Mike noticed the pinched expression on Remi’s face, but she wasn’t looking at him. Mike turned to find Kate beside him and it didn’t take a genius to register the sullen look on her face. Tears welled at her red-rimmed eyes and she swiped them one by one from her cheeks.

  “Nothing to worry about, huh?”

  Kate had seen the way he watched Zora. He assumed it was probably the way she wanted him to look at her.

  It wouldn’t make Kate feel any better, but Zora transforming into a fine ass woman and having this effect on him was new to him, too.

  Chapter Three

  Zora

  Game night rotated houses every other Saturday. Tonight, it was at Everett and Sophia’s, Zora’s current digs while her house was under construction. She cursed this situation most days—like when her brother’s lovemaking came through the walls in surround sound. At the moment though, she couldn’t be happier. She was in fluff
y socks and sweats and curled up on the couch getting ready to play board games. More importantly, she was not in the sticky, hot silent disco where she’d apparently lost her mind along with her inhibitions.

  “I vaguely remember wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.” Zora held her hands to her throat and opened her mouth like she might wretch at the memory then fell back in a fit of laughter.

  Oli’s top lip curled. “Ew, that is so nasty.”

  “Don’t act innocent like you didn’t try to pass Andre off on me after you got dog-slobbered, too. That was no kiss.”

  Lord, if Oli ever accused her of never losing herself in the name of fun, Zora would hurl on her…projectile vomit.

  Zora had literally allowed a man to deflower her mouth with his slippery snake tongue—not fun.

  They were giggling uncontrollably now.

  “I hear you guys starting without me,” Sophia hollered from the kitchen. “Don’t talk about the guy at the club yet. I’m not ready. We need snacks and drinks for this kind of juicy gossip.”

  “Fine,” Zora and Oli both muttered in unison, but given the magic Sophia made in the kitchen, Zora was more than happy to wait for her snacks.

  By the back door, Blue whimpered as his tail slapped against the tile. “Honey, let the dog out for me!” Sophia yelled.

  She was always hollering about something, but it sort of went with the territory with a loud crazy family, which Zora was beginning to love. For too long, it was only Zora and Everett after their grandmother, Babs died. Then there was a lot of silence. Having a brother was great, but Sophia already felt like the sister Zora never knew she wanted.

  There was something to be said for having a fierce, loud woman in your corner—especially a kickass chef who could throw together five-star appetizers for impromptu pre-game girl talk.

  Zora puckered her lips at Blue, her brother’s chocolate lab, who seemed to be wincing at a combination of Sophia’s healthy, prenatal pill-fueled lungs and his own heavy bladder. She got up to open the door for him. “I know, buddy. I’m going to be in the same boat after I eat all your mommy’s food and drink way too much,” she said as he scurried out.