Mixed Emotions

by MIA HEINTZELMAN

  Right before Zora had been about to give her coworker a potentially job-threatening piece of her mind, the godsend of a woman who sat on the other side of him emailed her an article listing the rules of platonic friendship.

  It worked so well Zora saved it for future reference.

  Present Zora owed past Zora big time.

  For the next twenty minutes, while Oli worked on candid moments of the bridesmaids and groomsmen getting ready, Zora told her the rules she planned to implement over the next month.

  The phone went silent.

  “Well, what do you think?” she asked.

  Finally, Oli materialized with an audible sigh. “You’re serious?

  “As a heart attack.”

  “It’s not going to work.”

  “It just makes so much sense. Talk about it in the open. No touching. Only hang out during the day. No sexy clothes. Treat him how you would a same-sex friend. Oli, you have to admit this stuff is brilliant.”

  The silence resumed, then she heard a muffled Oli excuse herself from the room for a ‘small emergency,’ which Zora knew was code for, give me a second to knock some sense into my best friend’s hard head. When she came back on the line, it was in surround sound.

  “You’re out of your mind, Zo!” Her voice was shrill and crazy shaky. “I mean, you’ve literally lost it this time. I get the no Netflix and chilling thing, but what kind of crap is that about it’s okay to cook for him but not eat together? That just sounds stupid. Avoid sexual conversation? They act like people just sit around talking about penis and vagina all the time. It’s not like you’re texting each other about sleeping naked. It’s ridiculous.”

  Zora cringed. She and Mike were having veiled conversations about sex. All the more reason for these rules.

  “Whatever. Did you hear the most important one?” She read verbatim from the article. “’Accept the sexual tension for what it is, but having feelings doesn’t mean you have to act upon them.’ Come on, if that’s not me and Mike, I don’t know what is. It’s there. It’s always been there and probably will stay there, but we don’t have to act on our attraction. We both know we’re better off friends. He told me so himself at game night.”

  Oli seemed to chew on this new piece of information. “He did?”

  “Yes, and that’s why… What if…?” Zora rubbed her finger over her top lip.

  “Lord have mercy, woman, spit it out. You’re killing me. I’m dying. I’m dead.”

  As Zora hopped off the bed, she began undressing for the shower. A bout of confidence filtered her voice. “The rules said to let him know about your other person, so he knows there’s nothing going on between you…” She mulled over the words again, putting all the pieces together. “Mike let me know about Kate. What if he wasn’t the only one?”

  “Only one what?” Oli scoffed. “You’re not making sense. This little ‘Aunt Flo emergency’ I’ve conjured is only going to last me so long, so out with it.”

  Zora thought about Andre’s text. She wasn’t some unfortunate-looking, housebound, shrew. People compared her to Nia Long, for goodness sake. She had options too. Even if she weren’t particularly interested in sucking face with a slobber hound, a date would help set the tone in the house.

  “He’s not the only one with options,” Zora stressed. “He let me know about Kate, so I’ll just have to let him know I’m going on a date this weekend.”

  Without second-guessing it, Zora hung up with Oli, found Andre’s message, and confirmed. Saturday night at eight she was going meet him at Bite-Sized.

  Chapter Ten

  Mike

  Mike arrived at work a half hour before his scheduled meeting with Harrison Arnold and waited in the conference room. He wore a tailored navy blue suit paired with a white button-down, a striped red and navy necktie, and a matching pocket square. His files were meticulously tabbed in the designated signature sections and he brought extra pens for the occasion. Though he was only assigned this meeting a week ago, Mike felt like he’d been waiting for this opportunity to prove himself to Everett for years.

  With a deep breath, he checked his watch for the tenth time, but the minutes seemed to tick by like hours. He was always early to give himself a chance to let his nerves settle.

  You’ve got this.

  He was scribbling with the third pen to make sure it didn’t dry out when the glass door opened with a whoosh and Kendra entered. Her braids were pulled back into a neat ponytail. She wore light makeup on her ebony skin and her usual casual dress was replaced with a serious black skirt suit. She was all business today, and her folded arms and rigid posture seemed guarded and territorial.

  Not until the door clicked shut did she meet his gaze.

  She lifted a thick brow at him.

  “Is he here?” Mike asked, adjusting his blazer, glancing at the closed door.

  Her lips pursed. “I’m glad you’re sitting down. He’s not coming today. The guy rescheduled.”

  “Did he say why? What exactly did he say?”

  Mike pushed back from the table and crossed his arms, too. He could feel his face twisting in annoyance. With a deep inhale, he breathed out slowly. His teeth clenched, and his jaw tightened. Even though the air conditioning was on full blast, he was hot.

  Kendra wiggled her fingers over the documents on the table. “Listen, I don’t usually get into the details about all this, but something seems really fishy. It wasn’t him on the phone. It was my girl, Ellie, who works for Arnold Corporation. She knows everything going on even though she’s just the front line.”

  “Like what?”

  “She said Arnold told her to reschedule for a week from today, next Friday. But that’s not all of it. She said he has an appointment with Easton Investments LLC this afternoon—a company that basically does what we do.” She pursed her lips. “If you ask me, I think they’re our competition, and he’s switching teams.”

  Mike considered this. He scrubbed a hand over his face and loosened his tie as he blew out a heavy breath.

  “How is he still vetting deals when we were supposed to sign today? This was supposed to be a done deal, a formality.” In the back of his mind, Mike wasn’t completely surprised. He’d warned Everett about getting all their ducks in a row before making plans. “Fuck. This is some bullshit. He’s basically hedging his bets. He’ll meet with them today and see what they offer then use our deal to ensure he maxes out. Shady.”

  Kendra cocked her head. “Ellie said he knew Everett was going out of town. So he planned this shit.”

  The woman was hot-headed, but he was right there with her.

  Mike got to his feet and paced the length of the conference room, turning on his heel as he figured his next move.

  This was not going to happen on his watch.

  Monroe Properties needed this deal too much. They passed on so many other prospects that were just as good if not better, but Everett insisted on going with Arnold due to their family ties. There was no way Mike was going to do nothing. He wouldn’t let the company fall.

  He was hot just thinking about it.

  He clenched his teeth. Keep your head together.

  “Okay, even if they do sign today.” He nodded, mentally running over the logistics. “It takes three to five business days for the filing to process. At the earliest, it would be Wednesday, but more likely Thursday or Friday, which is why he rescheduled for Friday.”

  “That snake.”

  Mike pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and squinted as he met Kendra’s gaze. She looked like she was seeing red. Like Mike, she might tell Arnold exactly where he could stick his secondhand deal. Most days she was a feisty back-talker who put her nose in places where it didn’t belong. Today, he needed that, though. Because of her fierce loyalty and nose for details, she’d sniffed out this problem.

  Now Mike might be able to do something about it.

  Still standing, Kendra whipped a notepad and pen out of nowhere and held them at the ready. She seemed
to be waiting for him to let her in on their course of action.

  “Ellie fucking hates this dude,” Kendra said. “She said he’s an asshole and a dictator, and she knows he’s up to no good.”

  “We’re not sitting ducks. We have a little time. Not much, but enough to do some digging.” Mike lifted his chin as Kendra rounded the table and sat down in the seat facing the door. “In the meantime, get me everything you can find on Easton Investments. If you don’t mind, see if your friend is willing to do a little more snooping around. Find out what number they’re coming in at. I’ll be wracking my brain all weekend, but I’ll come up with something by Monday. Maybe we can match whatever Easton is offering, so we don’t lose out on this deal.”

  Mike fell into to the seat across from Kendra. Suddenly, he felt exhausted. There was no escape. He glanced at his phone again. All this shit was going on at work, and he doubted he would find any solace at home. In a few hours, he’d be moving in a new roommate.

  He tugged his tie off and cracked his neck.

  Zora was still heavy on his mind. After what Kate said on the yacht, it was getting harder and harder to deny how he felt about Zora. That his mind was on her when he was in the middle of a crisis at work meant there had to be some weight to Kate’s words.

  Am I in love with Zora? Wouldn’t I know?

  The silence in the room ripped him from his thoughts, and he lifted his chin to find Kendra watching him.

  “Is it this, or is something else bothering you because I noticed you looked a little tighter around the collar this morning.” Kendra’s pen was down and her body was angled to him. She seemed to scrutinize his every movement.

  Is it that obvious?

  “Come on, now,” she said. “Out with it because I need you thinking clearly about Arnold and the Chessington Building. A deal like this will do a lot for this company, and I could use a raise.”

  She grinned, but Mike sensed her prying had less to do with the growth of the company, and more to do with her affinity for juicy gossip. Plus, she was itching to insert herself into someone’s relationship. Ever since Sophia locked Everett down, Kendra had been hinting at finding Mike a match.

  She looked at him with questioning eyes.

  If he was in love with Zora, and he seriously doubted it, why was he holding out? What was the worst that could happen?

  He never felt about any other woman the way he did about Zora. She was kind, free-spirited, and a firecracker— blazing and beautiful, but just out of reach. They’d gone down this road before and decided to turn back, but what if she was it for him? What if they were wasting away the best years they could be spending together?

  There was so much at risk. Although, if he really thought about it, there was even more to gain.

  Mike eyed Kendra thinking of the benefits of getting a woman’s point view for a change. He could use her as a sounding board before he did anything stupid like tell Zora exactly how much he’d held back all these years. Against his steely nature, he parted his lips and let everything spill out…in a roundabout way.

  “So this guy…a friend of mine, he’s known this girl for almost their whole lives,” Mike began.

  “Uh-huh. Ooh, I love this kind of story,” Kendra murmured adjusting in her seat to get comfortable. She hugged her shoulders close to her and rubbed her hands together.

  “She’s beautiful, sweet, motivated, and a good friend who’s stood by him even though he’s basically been avoiding her by dating as many women as possible to keep himself from getting hurt or causing her more hurt than she’s already been through.”

  Kendra nodded. “Okay. I get it.”

  “So she deserves so much better, and he knows it,” Mike went on. “But it doesn't stop him from feeling like he needs her—even if they’ve gone down this road and he got rejected once. I don’t know what to tell him, but it’s like his life is magnified ten-fold when he’s with her. Everything just feels right, you know?”

  “Yes.”

  “They laugh together, play together, and they are more themselves when they’re together than when they’re apart.”

  Kendra pressed her hand over her heart for a second like she really got it, but then she scooted her chair close to the table and squared her body to Mike like she was about to school him.

  “Let me guess. They’re both broken?”

  Mike nodded, but Kendra was not done yet.

  “Her pain is about her parents, who were two amazing people. The mother lost herself somewhere along the way. The dad stepped out on their marriage and replaced their family, so she thought the grandmother could take care of the kids and everyone would be better off without her. This girl, the one your friend loves, she’s scared of repeating history, right?”

  Mike’s eyes went wide, and his mouth fell open.

  “How long did it take you to figure out I was talking about Zora?”

  Kendra smiled and tilted her head forward. “When you said, ‘so this guy.’” She laughed. “Please give me some credit. How long have I been working here? How long have I known this family? I’m required to keep my mouth closed, not my ears.”

  Mike bit back a grin.

  “You’re in love with Zora.” It wasn’t a question.

  “No,” he shot back too quickly.

  Kendra dipped her chin and gave him a “who do you think you’re fooling” look.

  “I mean, I know Zora owns part of the company but…” Mike was dumbfounded. “She’s more of a silent partner. She’s not around enough for you to draw that kind of a conclusion. What makes you say that?”

  “I’m not blind,” Kendra said in her sassiest voice.

  Panic coursed through Mike. Why was everyone telling him he was in love with Zora?

  What am I missing?

  It was always the missing pieces that scared him the most.

  His mind drifted to Lucas. He wished when he thought about his little brother he remembered the happy times. The joy on Lucas’ face when he found Mike’s hiding place, his chubby toothless smile in their family pictures. He wanted to remember all the firsts and beginnings. They were still there, but the image always at the top of Mike’s mind wasn’t a happy one. It was Lucas’ ending.

  Every time Mike ventured to imagine a new beginning, it scared him. What if he was five minutes late? What if the stars were already aligned and fate decided before he took his position? What if he couldn’t save her like he couldn't save Lucas?

  Mike couldn’t imagine any type of ending with Zora.

  “I think this has little to do with her and more to do with you,” Kendra said in tune with his thoughts.

  “Have you ever missed being there to help when something bad happens? I just want to be there for her, but I don’t want to add to her pain. Does that make sense?”

  “Completely.”

  Mike felt validated in his thinking.

  For about two seconds.

  “Let me tell you one thing my mother said it to me,” Kendra said. “If you’re always looking in the rearview mirror, you’ll never see the beautiful view in front of you. Do you know what that means?”

  Mike nodded slowly but he didn’t want to forget about Lucas and he couldn’t forget what losing her mother had done to Zora.

  “What you’re talking about is not this. Love can be either an explosion or an implosion. You can tell the person how you feel and risk all the falling, breaking, and gooey good stuff about gluing each other back together into one piece, or you can fall apart inside. It’s that simple, but it’s always your choice.”

  Mike dropped his head and wringed his fingers as he considered her advice. A sense of urgency flooded his insides and he was suffused with warmth and a fresh energy. He was weightless and floating on air.

  But he was also desperate.

  She was right. All this time, he’d been falling apart inside.

  Kendra cleared her throat and Mike snapped his eyes to hers. “You know their grandmother, Barbara, used to tell me about all
of you guys,” she said. “She’d really hoped you two would end up together.” Her features and tone softened. “Barbara said you guys were made for each other, but neither of you would ever admit it. As far as I can see, she wasn’t wrong.”

  “She said that?”

  “What have you got to lose?”

  Mike drummed his fingers across the glass tabletop. “I’ve actually thought about it.” He laughed, holding up a hand to list the risks. “Let me think—the only family I’ve ever known, my best friend, possibly my job, and my only chance at love. How’s that for a gamble?”

  Kendra flashed him a full, proud grin as she stood and smoothed her skirt. She ambled over to the door then turned to look at him. “Sounds like you’re making the right choice. It’s only ever worth it when all your chips are in.”

  His spirits soared. In his heart, it was settled. Over the next month, he was going to up his ante and call Zora’s bluff.

  Chapter Eleven

  Zora

  Later that afternoon, armed with her new tools of salvation, Zora finished her packing in a breeze. She was weightless and carefree and ready to go into her new living arrangement feet first. Mike usually left work late, which meant there was plenty of time for her to kick back, relax, and take a load off before packing up her car for the move.

  Besides, it was five o’clock somewhere. Wasn’t it?

  She’d earned a drink after finally making a decision. She’d made a choice, even if it was to maintain solely a platonic relationship with Mike. It was definitely cause for celebration.

  The weight of the world was off her shoulders.

  Today, she would meet with him, acknowledge her feelings for him—remembering to keep it brief to maintain her sanity—then cut them off before they could do any more damage and before she moved onto his territory.