Mixed Emotions

by MIA HEINTZELMAN

  It was embarrassing as all heck, but to see the smile dancing on her lips, Mike would do it a million times again. He tipped the glasses down onto the bridge of his nose, pointed at her, and winked.

  To his sheer pleasure, Zora pressed her hand to her heart and threw her head back in laughter. It was faint beneath the blare of the music, but it lifted his spirits to know he caused the melodious sound.

  Then the entire room began to sing along. “You’ve lost that loving feeling!” they sang and cheered. They were on their feet dancing.

  Mike was positively jubilant as he worked the stage, making his way, one by one to each of the cutouts. Spotlights continued to light up a Less Than Zero Robert Downey Jr., Footloose Kevin Bacon, Some Kind of Wonderful Mary Stuart Masterson, and E.T.

  He wasn’t finished.

  The full cardboard casts of The Breakfast Club and The Goonies greeted the audience. It was sheer pandemonium as everyone pointed and enjoyed the show.

  On the last notes, Mike slipped into the wing and grabbed his final prop. Just as John Cusack was lit up, Mike mirrored him with both hands, and lifted a giant boom box above his head.

  “I love you Zora Marie Monroe!” he yelled.

  The song was over, but the room buzzed with excitement. Mike observed the crowd reaction. Everyone was on their feet. Everett thrust his fist in the air. Jason looked like a proud papa. Between Sophia’s shimmering eyes and Oli’s glowing expression, he was sure he’d hit it out of the park.

  Zora was still in her seat.

  A tidal wave of panic washed over Mike. Doubt crept into his thoughts and worry squeezed his chest.

  What if it wasn’t enough? Please say I’m not too late.

  Suddenly, it was quiet.

  Mike set the radio down, pulled off the glasses, and jammed his hands into his pockets. He didn’t take his eyes off of her. The show was fun, but he knew he needed to go deeper. He dropped his chin to his chest. “You must have been…nine,” he said, pivoting to pace the stage. He didn’t stop to see if she was looking, but he sensed her listening. “I was about fourteen, in the eighth grade, about to be a freshman.”

  His guests settled back into their seats. He was sure they’d noticed Zora’s reaction too, or lack of one. Still, he forged ahead.

  “Ev and I had been riding bikes at the park up the street. I remember it was blazing hot. We were going to head back to Babs’s to cool off and play Blade Runner. When we got to the house, though, you were waiting for us on the porch.”

  For a second, he stopped, stuck in the memory all those years ago. He didn’t know it then, but he’d fallen for her that day. It took him all this time to realize she’d climbed into his heart and stayed there.

  “Zo, up until that day, you were just Everett’s little sister—sweet, but mostly annoying.” He chuckled, and laughter rumbled over the audience. “You’d just gotten your hair pressed. You had on this purple dress with ruffles at the bottom and around the collar. You were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.”

  He sighed and finally looked at Zora.

  Her eyes swam with tears, but she was staring, unblinking at him. His chest tightened because he couldn’t tell whether or not they were happy tears.

  “The thing is, I’m certain that was the exact moment I fell in love with you.” A collective sigh rumbled over the crowd.

  “Mike…” She sounded breathless. Her chest was rising and falling.

  “Let me finish,” he said. “For years, I kept my distance because I thought it was the right thing to do. I was convinced you deserved someone better. When we got older, as damaged as I felt after losing my brother, I didn’t think I could give you unconditional love.”

  His throat was thick with emotion.

  “After being with you over the last month, any doubt I had is gone. I got a chance to see what it was like when we were together, and I know all those years I was just biding my time. I don’t ever want to be without you. What I’m trying to say is…I’m ready.”

  Zora’s sobs were faint, but he heard them.

  “I’m asking you to love me. Be with me. If I have to give up my house and move into yours, I’ll do it. Or, we can rent it and buy a new one together. I don’t care, I just want to be with you.”

  His heartbeat raced and a sort of manic energy coursed through him like he had to do something. He wrung his hands—balling them into fists then opening them again. He did this over and again because he wasn’t sure what else to do.

  His throat was dry, but he swallowed anyway, praying that something he’d said reached her. “Your cookbook will be out soon, but I want you to have a whole library of books full of recipes. I want to be there to taste-test as you make magic in your dream kitchen.” He was babbling now and hated the desperation in his emotion-choked tone.

  In his ear, the line cracked, and Eric’s voice came through. “You’re breaking my heart, here. Should I bring it out now?”

  I’m bombing.

  Mike didn’t speak, he only nodded, and within seconds, Eric materialized with a box and an envelope.

  “I hope you don’t need it,” Mike said, “but in case it takes a little something to persuade you, I come bearing gifts.” He smiled, bent at the knees, and extended a hand to Zora.

  Thankfully, she didn’t hesitate to get to her feet. Mike guided her up onto the stage with his free hand and handed her the gifts. It took everything inside him not to pull her into his arms and just hold on.

  “What is it?” She peeked up at him. There was a gentle pink blush on her cheeks and Mike couldn’t have been happier.

  “Why don’t you open them up and find out?” He bobbed his eyebrows even though he didn’t feel particularly playful.

  Zora took the lid off the small red box and retrieved a snow globe. It took her a few seconds, but when she shook it, she seemed to recognize the flurry of glitter and smiling Mickey Mouse-shaped snowflakes twirling in the watery storm.

  “I can’t take this. It was your brother’s.”

  “I want you to have it.” It was a risk, but Mike took a step closer and slid his arm around her waist, pulling her into him. He could feel the warmth coming off her skin. “Zora?”

  She dipped her chin and let her forehead rest on his chest. He peppered soft kisses on her hair and gently rubbed his hand along her back.

  “I love you so much,” he said.

  For the briefest moment, Mike thought she was crying again. Her shoulders shook and she leaned into him, tightening her arms around him.

  Then, she grunted.

  She mumbled something he couldn’t quite make out.

  “What?” he asked.

  She lifted her head and there were traces of tears running down her cheeks, but the corners of her mouth were quirked up in a smile.

  “I said, how am I supposed to compete with this…? I don’t even know what to say.”

  “Uh…I don’t understand. Are we competing because I’m really confused now.” Mike said. “You were singing along to the music and enjoying yourself, and now you’re laughing hysterically.”

  Zora shifted out of his arms and pivoted to address the audience. “Look, I had this big plan. I even took two shots of tequila before I left the house to make sure I went through with it. Two. I’m a lightweight, so you know how that’s going to go.” She jerked her thumb downward. “Right. Anyway, I got myself all worked up to do this ‘grand gesture’ and profess my love to this, this…overachiever.” She laughed nervously.

  “Wow.” It was the only word he could think of. Mike couldn’t believe his ears.

  “Yeah, ‘wow,’ is right,” she said. “I can’t compete with this.” She threw her hands up and started to pace the stage.

  Raucous laughter fell over the audience.

  Whether they’d planned it or not, they were giving them a show.

  “Unbelievable.” Mike shook his head and threw his hands up, too. He angled himself between Zora and the crowd. “Do you guys see what I’m dealing with h
ere?”

  In classic Everett form, he had Mike’s back. “I’ve been dealing with her for like thirty years! I’m just glad it’s someone else’s turn!” he yelled up from the audience.

  Mike swiveled around and squared Zora’s shoulders to him. “So, let me get this straight. You’re upset that that I made such a grand gesture?”

  “I was singing and dancing, then I thought about how sweet and heartfelt your gesture was, and I knew I couldn’t do anything to let you know how much I love you,” Zora whined. “I mean, a book dedication just doesn’t seem like enough. Plus, it doesn’t release for a few months, and I—”

  “Wait….” Mike’s heart knocked around in his chest, and a warm sensation flooded through him. “You dedicated your book to me?” He felt airy and breathless as he hung on for her next words. This wasn’t something to take lightly. It certainly wasn’t nothing. It was as grand a gesture as there could be.

  He searched her bright eyes. She had no clue what this meant to him.

  Zora pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, and the right corner of her mouth hitched up into a slow and sexy half-smile. “Yes,” she muttered, sheepishly. Her shoulders caved inward and she blushed a million shades of pink.

  “Zo…”

  She stole his breath. He ached with need.

  A fresh wave of desire slammed into him, and he cupped her face, running the pad of his thumb over the swell of her full bottom lip. Heat seared through him as he scrutinized her. The same desire he was feeling darkened her brown irises. Beneath the flutter of lashes, there was lust glittering in her eyes.

  He didn’t give a damn that they were in a room full of people.

  His body throbbed with an almost dizzying need to be with her. Every inch of him craved her.

  Before Zora could say another word, Mike covered her lips with his. The kiss was tender and soft at first. She melted into his arms as he let his lips linger on hers. Electricity coursed through his veins. Then, she slipped her tongue inside his mouth, searching. She tasted of spicy tequila and rich chocolate. It pushed him over the edge, and he thought he might come apart at her touch.

  Zora moaned her satisfaction.

  Passion took hold of Mike and he deepened the kiss. It suddenly felt urgent and so long overdue. It was filled with promises of a future together—of their beginning. As he sucked and licked and laved his tongue in her sweet mouth, her soft moans were his answer.

  In that moment, he felt like he was walking on sunshine and drunk with happiness.

  Someone whistled in the crowd and cheers and catcalls erupted.

  “It’s about damn time!” someone called out.

  Mike was holding on as tight as he could. He didn’t want to let her go, but he felt her smile on his lips. He dropped his hands first, twining their fingers together, but their bodies were still flush and their lips only inches apart.

  Her eyes snapped open. There was heat blazing in them. She blinked, stepping out of her trance, and a small laugh fluttered inside him.

  “Get your mind out of the gutter,” Mike teased.

  Despite the audience, they didn’t move to step apart. “Well, Mr. Grand Gesture, if you didn’t want my mind to be filled with dirty thoughts, you shouldn’t have kissed me with that filthy mouth of yours,” Zora rasped. “Oh, and wipe that smug grin off your face.”

  “Uh…you guys do know we’re still here, right?” It was Oli, but neither Mike nor Zora even glanced in her direction.

  “Quiet, I’m enjoying the show.” Jason’s deep baritone was filled with a strangely playful and upbeat tone.

  “Hold your horses. We’re still working on a happily ever after here,” Mike called out to the sound of applause.

  “Work a little faster,” Zora said. “I need a drink.”

  Mike lowered his voice back to a whisper. “I was just thinking about your two truths. So, you miss me like crazy, huh? And you’re hopelessly in love with me?” He couldn’t fight the joy dancing in his heart and on his lips.

  An ear-to-ear smile spread across Zora’s face.

  “Then what was the lie?” he asked.

  Her brows knitted together, and by her pursed lips, he figured she heard the humor in his voice.

  “Well, in a way I am, but clearly I’m not at ‘the happiest place on earth,’” she argued.

  “Yet…”

  “What do you mean ‘yet?’”

  Mike slipped the envelope she was still holding from her hand and held it out of reach. “First, you didn’t tell me whether you wanted to live with me.”

  “First, tell me. Is this even a celebration for your partnership, or was it all a setup? And, second, I love you, Michael Kennedy. Our address won’t change that. It doesn’t matter where we live. No place feels like home without you, so let’s try them both out, and we’ll rent the other.” She shrugged. “Now what’s in the envelope?”

  He slowly lowered it. “Kiss me one more time. Quickly.”

  The kiss was urgent and filled with yearning.

  When they pulled apart, Mike exhaled and squeezed her butt. “This is a celebration of me making partner, your cookbook, our family and friends…oh, and winning at the big gesture.” He teased. “Now open it, already.”

  With a tentative smile, she pried her finger beneath the flap, peeking up at Mike wearily as she slit the length of the envelope, and pulled out a pair of tickets.

  “Holy shit. We’re going to Disneyland?” She pressed her hand to her heart.

  “The way I see it, anywhere we’re together is the happiest place on earth.”

  Elation suffused every one of her features, but, apparently, she wasn’t fazed by the sentiment. She turned to the expectant crowd and held the tickets up. “Holy shit! We’re going to Disneyland!”

  Zora jumped up and down jubilantly. As she ran down to the audience, hugging everyone and celebrating, her words kept playing in Mike’s head. No place feels like home without you. Deep down Mike knew she was right. Even though she’d said them so freely without thinking, they echoed the song in his heart. It amazed him how one day she’d walked into his life and now he couldn’t imagine ever living without her. She was the last thing he thought of before falling asleep and the first thing he thought of when he woke.

  All he wanted to do was spend the rest of his life making Zora happy. She was his home.

  Epilogue

  Zora

  If wading through a sea full of strollers and mouse ears wasn’t the best idea of fun, any time after mid-February was indisputably the worst time to go to Disneyland. It was practically June in California, which meant, even after the sun had gone down, it was still blistering hot. Then add in the Memorial holiday tourists and the fact that Zora and Mike’s so-called grand gesture trip was hijacked and turned into a couples’ getaway.

  An uber-pregnant Sophia and Everett had come along. Who doesn’t want their over-protective brother with them on a romantic date? If they weren’t enough, Oli and Jason, who any other time hated each other’s guts, decided a weekend in Cali would be “amazing.”

  Fun.

  The night was coming to a close, and Zora had barely gotten to spend any time with Mike.

  The day started off as expected. Despite the lines, they rode Pirates of the Caribbean, Matterhorn, Indiana Jones, It’s a Small World, and the Jungle Cruise. By midday, Sophia was hungry, her feet were swollen, and she was understandably tired of touring the park’s wide array of seating options. So, the guys took off for Splash Mountain and Big Thunder Mountain, while Zora and Oli stayed with Sophia.

  The line was so long at Haunted Mansion that by the time they got off, all three women agreed food was in order.

  “What time are we meeting the guys?” Zora turned on the flash on her phone’s camera and snapped a few pictures of Oli posing with Goofy and Donald Duck. She was wearing a bright yellow Belle shirt to match Jason’s blue Beast one.

  Zora sighed. The shirt was a blaring reminder that she was missing her other half. Once the c
ouples all decided to join the trip, they’d gotten matching shirts. She was wearing a pale green Princess Tiana shirt to go with Mike’s forest green Prince Naveen one, and Sophia and Everett got the cutest Mickey and Minnie set. His said, “Her Mickey,” while hers said “His Minnie.”

  The whole idea was adorable and sweet, but it would’ve been even sweeter if they actually got to enjoy their princes and mouse.

  Sophia who was gnawing on her second turkey leg, mumbled something, snapping Zora out of her revelry, but her mouth was too full.

  “What?” Zora asked.

  “She said ‘eight fifteen.’” Oli was beaming as she moved out of the way for the cute little family behind them to have their pictures taken. She checked her watch. “Yeah, it’s only seven forty-five now, so we have a little bit of time, but this is like the worst place to meet. The fireworks for that Mickey’s Mix Magic spectacular thingy starts at eight thirty, which mean we won’t even be able to move, hear, or see anything.”

  Sophia swallowed. “Why can’t we just stay here?” She was still holding the turkey leg, looking like she might clobber someone at any minute. Her eyes lit up and she waggled her brows. “I finally got a good seat, and if you guys love me…I’m praying one of you will go get me a Dole Whip from the Tiki Juice Bar.”

  She crossed her fingers on both hands and flashed them a puppy-dog pout.

  Zora flitted a glance over at the crowds on Main Street lining up for the show before meeting Oli’s gaze. They were near the Partners Statue of Walt Disney and Mickey holding hands. They were waiting for the guys to come back from riding Indiana Jones for the third time. Freaking flash passes. Then, an idea hit her.

  “We have like thirty minutes. It’s literally right there.” Oli shrugged.

  “Okay, fine.” Zora knew Sophia was still working on the foodie must-try list she’d downloaded before they came. This one had been right up there at the top with the beignets. At least if she couldn’t get on the rides, she could enjoy the food. “We’ll be right back, Soph.”

  Zora and Oli had just reached the entrance to Adventureland when Zora jerked her thumb in the direction of one of the trader shops. “Can we run in here for a sec first? I want to check something out.” She bit her bottom lip and veered into a small store with hanging plush animals, pineapple spears, and safari-themed clothing and trinkets.