Paranormal University: Third Semester: An Unveiled Academy Novel

by Jace Mitchell

  At that moment, Frank walked out of his room and padded down the hallway. He was in a pair of boxer shorts, appropriately adorned with clovers. He rubbed his eyes sleepily. “Ye two just woke me up, and I’d hoped to never see either of ye again. Now, if Claire says she isn’t going, then she isn’t going. Why are ye still here?”

  Remington shifted to face the leprechaun. “We need her, Frank. You should help convince her to come back. She’ll listen to you.”

  Frank chuckled. “Claire doesn’t listen to anyone but the voices in her head. Now, lads, I'm going to need ye to leave the premises. It’s early, and I’ve got a hard day of drinking ahead of me. I’m sure ye understand.”

  Remington turned back to Claire. “Marissa and Jack can’t do this alone.”

  Claire glared at them. “You should have thought about that before you used me.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Richard stood off to the side of the Five’s chamber. He was glad, for once, to not be under their collective gaze. Instead, the Greek god and his three-headed dog had their attention. The god still held the satchel on his shoulder, and the dog lay at his feet. Two of its heads had their eyes closed, while the middle one’s remained open, looking lazily at the newcomers.

  Clearly, the dog doesn’t fear much, Richard thought.

  Four of the five sat behind the table, while Bill sat on the floor to the left. His legs were folded, and a chess game sat in front of him. He wasn’t glancing up at Hades, but Richard secretly hoped Bill would run his mouth like usual, and maybe the god would take his whole head off.

  “Who took my workers?” Hades asked the group. His voice rang out like someone who wasn’t used to asking questions, but giving directives came as naturally as breathing.

  Jess spoke first. “Are you Hades, and is this your dog, Cerberus?”

  “You know who I am,” Hades snapped. “I asked you a question, and I expect an answer. Who took my workers?”

  Octavia placed her hands on the table, palms down. “We weren’t aware at the time that they were your workers.”

  Richard was careful not to move, although he desperately wanted to get out of the room. He felt the tension rising. The Five were doing an awful job of explaining their position, and Hades appeared to be growing angrier.

  The god sighed and looked down at his dog. The middle head turned up, its tongue lolling out of its mouth. “I think, Cerberus, that we might be dealing with idiots. I have asked my question twice, and still I do not have an answer.” Hades turned back to the table. “This will be the last time I ask you this question. If it is not answered in a manner that I deem fit, I will take other measures. Who. Took. My. Workers?”

  “Will you jack-fucks tell the man what he wants to know?” Bill called from the floor. He shook his head as he moved a rook on the chessboard.

  “She understands,” Andrew replied. “She says to tell you that it was a witch who took your workers, but it was an accident. The witch didn’t know they worked for you. None of us did.”

  Thank God, Richard thought. These five people basically control the tearing of the Veil, and right now, they’re acting as if they can’t understand simple sentences. He didn’t want this to end right now with fire and brimstone raining down on all of them because the Five sounded like completely dopes.

  Hades looked again at his dog. “Finally, a sign of intelligent life, Cerberus, even if only barely.” Turning his head to the table again, he asked, “Who’s in charge?”

  Octavia’s hands were folded beneath the table again, and Richard understood that was her tell. She felt fear. “We all are.”

  Hades lightly tapped his foot on the floor. “Then, all of you, please direct me to where I may find the person who took my staff. I’m growing tired of seeing you all. I feel your idiocy may be contagious.”

  Bill finally turned around and looked at the table. “You dumbasses are going to get us all killed. Can any of you explain to him what’s going on, so that he doesn’t sic that fucking dog on us?”

  “Silence!” Hades roared, his voice bouncing off the walls and making Richard’s ears hurt.

  Moments passed with no one saying anything. When Hades spoke next, his voice was low. “Where is the witch?”

  “She’s been locked up,” Jess replied meekly. “By the FBI. We may be able to get to her, but it won’t be easy. We’ll—”

  “Hush your incessant chatter,” the god whispered, though his voice traveled with a fierceness that Richard didn’t think possible. “I will get this witch, and then I will return here to deal with you.” He shook his head. “Idiots. Your servant, Richard, does he know the witch’s name and details?”

  Oh, damn it, Richard thought. I want nothing to do with this being. Tell him no. Tell him no—

  A chess piece clicked as Bill moved it on his chessboard. “You prickly pansy-asses, answer the man.”

  Andrew’s hands were out of his pockets when he spoke, and Richard wasn’t exactly sure what he planned on doing. Andrew’s hands were pure danger, but attacking this god would get them all killed. He didn’t move. “She told me that yes, the servant does know the details.”

  Hades shook his head in exasperation. “Who is she?”

  “It’s…” Jessica spoke up before her voice trailed off.

  Octavia picked up the sentence. “Not important. We can explain later. Would you like to go to the witch? Our servant can take you.”

  Hades looked back at Richard, who remained as placid as a frozen lake. “You can tell me what I need to know.”

  Richard nodded but said nothing.

  “Then, please do. Everyone here is beyond incompetent.” Hades turned, and his dog got to his feet.

  Hades was almost to Richard when Jess spoke up.

  “We need to discuss why we’re doing this. Why we’re summoning your kind over from the Veil.”

  A smile spread across Hades’ face. He slowly looked over his shoulder, not turning all the way around. “I’m the first of my kind to cross over, and I was not summoned. You do not want any more of my kind coming, that I can promise you. However, if I know my brothers and sisters, there is much more happening here than the five of you idiots can hope to understand.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Al, Frank, and Claire were in the apartment’s living room. Claire and Al sat on the couch while Frank paced in front of the television.

  “Frank, calm down,” Claire instructed. “They left. They did what you told them to do.”

  The FBI agents had done exactly that a few hours before, but with the way Frank was acting, anyone would think they still stood in the living room.

  The leprechaun shook his head but said nothing, just reached the small dining room table and turned around, continuing to pace.

  Claire wanted to get his mind off this. “Do you want to go to the beach? We can pick up some beer on the way. I think you two drank the last of it.”

  Frank grunted and shook his head. Claire glanced at Al, who only shrugged.

  “Okay, give it up,” she told him. “What is going on?”

  “Are we really out of beer?” he mumbled without stopping his pacing.

  Claire nodded. “Yeah, but that’s obviously not what’s got you in such a tiff.”

  Frank grunted. “I’m not in a tiff.”

  Claire chuckled. “Clearly, I’m mistaken. You going to tell us what’s going on or just keep making us guess?”

  Frank rolled his eyes, finally stopping as he reached the balcony door. It was made of glass, and he stared out through it. “You really think it’s Hades that’s here, Al?”

  Claire looked at the ghost.

  “I think it’s a safe bet,” Al replied. “Hades isn’t someone to lose all his ghosts, and as far as I know, that’s the only place we were kept.”

  Frank shook his head. “That’s not good.”

  “You want to talk about it now?” Claire asked with a smirk.

  “Quiet, lass, or ye’ll be finding a new place to live,�
� Frank responded. “I’ve been listening even if I didn’t want to, and I was hoping it would all turn out to be nonsense.”

  “Do you know Hades?” Al asked.

  Frank shook his head. “No. I’ve met Zeus, and I think I saw Poseidon once when I was drinking on a boat, but I’ve never seen Hades. I know it’s not a good thing if he’s come over here, though.”

  Claire raised her eyebrows, but it was Al who spoke. “I agree, but why do you say that?”

  “A story I heard back home,” Frank answered.

  “What’s the story?” Claire asked, leaning forward in anticipation.

  Frank shook his head once again. “I don’t even want to get into it. I just know that if the gods are showing up, I don’t think any schooling will matter. Ye can have a million schools, but that’s not going to help. Not if what I heard is true.”

  Claire stood up. “Frank, what are you talking about?”

  He turned around, his face a mixture of concern and fear. “Ye really want to hear it, lass?”

  Al spoke before she could. “I do. I lived next to Hades, and you’re even freaking me out.”

  “Of course, I want to hear it,” Claire answered. “Have I ever been someone to hide from the truth?”

  Frank started walking toward the front door. “I’ll be back.”

  “What?!” Claire exclaimed. “Where are you going?

  He opened the front door. “I’m going to need some freakin’ beer if I have to tell this.”

  Frank returned about twenty minutes later with a case of beer in his hand and his grumpiness still apparent.

  It took him a few more minutes to get settled, but he did finally sit down with a beer in his hand. “Now look, lass, I’m not getting up to get me own brew while I’m tellin’ me story. Ye going to do it for me?”

  Claire rolled her eyes. “Sure. If you’ll ever tell the darned thing.”

  “Okay, okay. It was a dark and stormy night…” Frank looked up, a mischievous grin on his face.

  Claire stared at him, nonplussed.

  Frank wiggled his eyebrows, then chuckled. “No sense of humor in this crowd. Fine. This is what I heard happened. I don’t know if it’s true, but if it is, Earth is in trouble, university or no university.”

  The story started with a bet.

  Zeus and Poseidon laid down a wager. It was a silly thing, and not something Zeus should have done, but he’d been in his cups by then.

  “You don’t rule over nearly the creatures I do,” he’d sloppily told his brother.

  The other god laughed. “Have you been into the ocean? I rule over more creatures than a thousand of your skies could hope to hold. You have birds and nothing else. I’ve got fish of all colors and kinds. I’ve got sharks and dolphins, octopus and sea anemones. I rule over an endless array of creatures.”

  Zeus shook his head, his heavy white eyebrows furrowing. “That’s a lie, and you know it. The sky has insects too, billions of them.”

  Poseidon, who had held his liquor much better, smiled at his brother. “We can place a wager on it if you’d like. And then we can count the creatures beneath our rule.”

  Zeus raised a bushy eyebrow. “What does the winner get?”

  Poseidon seemed to think for a moment, looking up at the ceiling. “What about…the other’s wife for a night?”

  Zeus laughed heartily at that. “Brother, if you give me your wife for an evening, she will never come back to you. She’ll stay up on Mount Olympus with me for eternity.”

  Poseidon had thought Zeus’ wife was beautiful since time immemorial, and there simply wasn’t anyway his drunk brother could win the bet. He could boast now, brag about his own sexual prowess, but in the end, Poseidon would end up spending a night with Zeus’ better half. “Make the bet then, God of the Sky. If you’re so sure that you’ll win, there should be no reason to wait on it.”

  And so Zeus, in his drunken state, bet something that he couldn’t possibly hope to win.

  The next day he woke up with a hangover that would have killed mortals. His wife, Hera, had heard about the bet by morning and rushed into the room looking to murder her husband for his lunacy. “You ignorant, cheating whore. I’m not sleeping with your brother, even if you only made the bet to try to sleep with another woman. Get up!”

  Zeus rolled over, growling and wishing Apollo would shut off the sun for a few moments so he could sleep some more.

  Hera ripped the covers from the bed. “Get up, you fool. There is work to be done!”

  Zeus finally opened his eyes and nearly shot lightning at his insolent wife, but he kept his temper at bay. “What, woman? What is it that you want?”

  “Do you remember the bet you made with your brother?”

  Zeus groaned, putting his hand to his hurting head. “Bet?”

  “Yes. You bet him that you ruled over more creatures than he did. You bet him that there were more creatures in the sky than in the ocean.” Hera walked over to the window and pulled the curtain back, revealing a perfectly blue sky. “Look on your kingdom, mighty Zeus. Do you see any fucking animals flying around? Because if Poseidon pulls back his curtain, he’ll see nothing but fish everywhere he turns.”

  “What did I wager?” Zeus asked, his head splitting.

  “Your father should have eaten you instead of that stupid rock,” Hera cursed at her husband. “You wagered me!”

  Zeus rolled over onto his stomach. “What do I get out of the bet if I win?”

  “You get his wife, but there’s no way you can win. If you actually look at what I’m telling you, you’ve already lost.”

  Zeus waved his wife away. “Leave, woman. I’ll take care of it.”

  “You better,” Hera told him. “If I cheat, it won’t be with that sea-dwelling brother of yours.”

  She then stomped out of the room, hoping that her god of a husband could fix up what he’d done.

  Claire interrupted Frank. “So, these brothers, they just made a bet while drunk, both of them willing to bet their wives, and both of them willing to sleep with their brother’s wives?”

  Frank took a sip of his beer and then put the can down. “All this talking makes a leprechaun thirsty.” He let out a belch. “Much better. Yes, lass, that’s what I’m telling ye, and I haven’t even gotten to the worst part.”

  Claire looked at Al, who was sitting next to her. “Have you heard this story?”

  Al shook his head. “No. In the underworld, Hades doesn’t let much gossip in. Or if he does, he keeps it to himself. But I know Hades, and he’s of the same ilk as the other two, so I have no trouble believing Frank’s story.”

  Frank pointed his beer toward Claire. “Yes, lass. I’m not lying to ye. This is true, and if ye want to hear it, I’ll speak on it. But if ye’re going to keep interrupting me, then I’ll sip me beer in silence.”

  Claire sighed. “Oh, don’t get your panties in a wad. Go on, keep telling it.”

  “Hard to tell a story when children keep prattling on,” Frank grumbled before taking another sip of his beer. “All right, where was I?”

  “You were—”

  “Hush, lass,” Frank chided. “I know where I was. Ye just listen.

  Zeus pondered his predicament for quite some time. Poseidon called him multiple times on the telephone—yes, gods have telephones. But Zeus didn’t answer for a few days. He knew that he couldn’t put his brother off forever, but he’d really gotten himself in a predicament here. Sober, he would have easily recognized how stupid of a bet he was making, but…

  I have to quit drinking so much, he thought morosely.

  It wasn’t that Zeus cared so much about Poseidon sleeping with Hera. It was more that he didn’t want to lose the bet. Zeus hated losing. Hera might not want to sleep with Poseidon, but that was only secondary. Zeus could deal with her griping.

  Zeus knew he had to pick up the phone, or the lesser gods would begin gossiping.

  “Yes, Poseidon?” he answered. “You haven’t stopped calling, and to be
completely honest, I haven’t much wanted to speak with you, if you can’t tell.”

  “Brother,” Poseidon responded, “I’m quite sure you don’t want to speak with me. The sooner we talk, the sooner our bet gets going. I know you haven’t forgotten, or at least, I know that you’re not pretending to have forgotten?”

  Zeus could have popped his brother’s head right off his neck right then. He glared out into his massive foyer, wanting to break all the furniture in sight. Instead, his huge hand only gripped the phone tighter. “I haven’t forgotten. I’m looking forward to a night with your wife. Are you ready to begin the counting?”

  Poseidon laughed on the other end. “I’ve been ready to begin since I woke up the morning after. Everyone beneath Mount Olympus heard how bad your hangover was, what with all the moaning and such.”

  “Enough, Poseidon,” Zeus growled. “How shall we do this counting?”

  “I would say the honor system, but we both know you banished our father to a bottomless pit, so you have very little honor. How about we pair up our men? One of mine and one of yours will count the animals in the sea, and the same for the sky?”

  Zeus had hoped he could work some trickery in with the counting, but his bastard brother had already planned on him doing that. “Fine,” he responded, ignoring the barb about their father. “Send me one of your fin fairies, and I’ll send you one of my lesser gods.”

  “Fin fairies.” Poseidon chuckled. “Always with the childish humor. I know you’re doing it because very soon, I’ll bed your wife. Hera is looking lovely, isn’t she?”

  Zeus slammed the phone down.

  What in Hades can I do? He thought. On a good day, I’ll have a tenth of what he’s got down there, even if I include the insects that buzz around flowers, which I’m sure the cretin will argue against.