Miracles

by Thomas A. Watson

  “Um,” LL said hesitantly. “On this side of Russellville, we saw a man tied to a sign that wasn’t there yesterday. Wendy, his cluster had been cut off,” LL told her with a shiver. “There was a sign that said this happens to rapists, from the Caravan Man.”

  “Oh, Arthur didn’t do that,” Wendy laughed. “Last night was date night, and he gave that one to me before we went killing. You saw my bitch hanging from that stop sign.”

  With an uncomfortable shrug, “Wendy, his whole cluster?” LL groaned, then unconsciously shifted his groin.

  Giving LL a wink, “If you would’ve looked closer, you would’ve seen his cluster shoved in his mouth,” Wendy told him.

  “That’s cold,” Jason said, staring at Wendy but was grinning, “but that is fucking awesome as shit.”

  With the engines getting louder, they all turned to see two black Suburbans, an MRAP, and the dually truck pulling a trailer hauling ATVs. “Wendy, I’m so happy you got home to find your family and that they were all right,” LL said as the line of vehicles started to slow. “The fact you’re married to the Caravan Man makes me want to give you the world.”

  “Why did he come in from the east?” Jason asked, glancing around.

  “He took care of the others that those in the house are with,” Wendy answered, making both turn to her. “All he told me, was they followed you down from Missouri.”

  “How in the fuck did he know where to look? We just got here yesterday!” Jason cried out.

  Joseph started laughing, making both turn to face him. “The gang was a group of idiots,” he laughed out. “They had those citizen band walkie talkies; you know the hand-held ones?” he asked, and both nodded in understanding. “The idiots thought that since they hit the ‘Private’ button, it secured their conversations. All that does is makes it so you can’t hear any other radio, but they can all still hear you.”

  “I didn’t know that,” LL mumbled.

  “I thought some of the newer generations were encrypted,” Jason said.

  Nodding, “Oh, they are. But the encryption is only to block out incoming traffic. It was against the law to broadcast out on radio bands,” Joseph said, and saw Jason take a breath to object. “Unless you got a license and gave the FCC your encryption code. Then and only then, could you broadcast out on radio frequency. That’s why the government can listen in on cellphones, they broadcast on a radio frequency and that’s also how they went after people that encrypted cellphone communication. The law clearly states, ‘radio transmissions’ and those laws were put in effect during the fifties.”

  As the line of vehicles stopped in the other lanes, “Never knew that communist shit,” Jason mumbled.

  “Remember, none of us know who the Caravan Man is,” Wendy said as Arthur climbed out of the first black Suburban. “Hello, Mr. Caravan Man,” she grinned, holding out her hand as he walked over.

  Shaking her hand, Arthur looked at the group. “I need everyone to cover their ears,” he told them. “That group in the house has been calling for those we took out and are now freaking out. I want to go ahead and just take care of them.”

  Jason and LL both gave a startle, “How loud?!” they both cried out.

  “Oh, it’s about to get very loud,” Arthur told them.

  “Let us pull up down the road so all the babies don’t wake up,” LL said, moving to his truck.

  “Arthur, let me lead them home. They have eleven infants and there’s only three adults and two older kids that can help with the seventeen other kids and infants,” Wendy said, and Arthur jumped back.

  “Holy motherfucker!” he cried out, turning to LL and Jason. “Fuck, I’ll just let them go.”

  “I really wish you wouldn’t,” Jason said. “We gave them the slip, or thought we did last night, but they found us so they were up to no good.”

  “Shit, they’ve been following you since you crossed over the Mississippi River in Missouri. They were waiting to see where you were going before hitting you,” Arthur said, and both LL and Jason froze.

  “You better be shitting us, Caravan Man,” Jason mumbled.

  Shaking his head, “No, you crossed I-155 Bridge at three a.m. day before yesterday, and that’s where they picked you up. They kept one on a dirt bike trailing you and calling out turns to those behind him,” Arthur told him.

  “They followed us over two hundred miles, why?” LL asked.

  “They thought you were heading to a survivalist retreat because you were traveling at night and your rides,” Arthur answered.

  “Okay, I’ll give them that one for my ride,” Jason said, glancing back at the van.

  “Sorry, but it was LL’s that had them convinced you were survivalists with his mint condition 1975 Suburban with an up-to-date off-road package,” Arthur said, and LL just looked at him confused. “More EMP resistant, or so they told me. I wasn’t going to give them a lecture on the error of their thinking before I killed them.”

  “So, they’re all dead?” LL asked.

  “Except those in that house and if they leave, I’m not chasing after them. There are others in the group back in Illinois waiting on word from them,” Arthur said.

  “Fucking just cut loose on their asses,” Jason huffed. “We’ll just deal with the babies.”

  “Are you insane?!” LL cried out.

  Waving an arm out, “They followed us for over two hundred miles. I want to see the bastards dealt with,” Jason said. “Just let me tell my wife first.”

  As he jogged off, Arthur spun to Wendy. “Another husband and wife made it?” he asked very cheerfully.

  “Yeah, don’t know much else,” Wendy said as a woman climbed out of the jacked-up van that she took for Samantha, Jason’s wife. It seemed Samantha wanted to watch as well, as Jason ran back over and she climbed back in the van to warn the kids and watch from inside.

  “Cut loose on the bastards,” Jason said.

  Grabbing his radio, “Todd, girls, hit that farmhouse for me. Don’t stop until you dump your load of ammo,” Arthur called out.

  “Oh, I’m so glad you’re letting the twins shoot the remote firing station,” Wendy sighed with relief.

  “They asked real nice,” Arthur laughed as the top of the second Suburban popped open. A mounted minigun with Todd at the controls was exposed. As he swung the minigun over, the remote firing station had already swung over and fifty caliber thunder broke the quiet afternoon.

  Fifty caliber tracers streaked across the field in the steady thump-thump-thump of Ma Deuce. Then, M134 minigun joined in. It sent a steady stream of red tracers across the field and it hosed the house down.

  “Fuck, they’re loud!” Wendy screamed, covering her ears.

  Turning to Wendy and pointing at his ear at the electronic aid, “I told you to put in your hearing protection!” Arthur shouted back, and Wendy just flipped him off quickly so she could recover her ears.

  For three minutes, the two guns rained fire on the two-story house. When the firing stopped it was eerily quiet, but a chorus of screaming kids could be heard from the van.

  Slowly, the house tilted to the left and then picked up speed, crumbling into a mass of lumber. Everyone could see some smoke, but no flames yet. “If they’re still alive, they aren’t happy,” Arthur informed everyone.

  “I’ll let ’em kick my ass,” Jason said.

  “Babe, we going to escort them home first or the new group area?” Wendy asked.

  Clearly pissed off as he turned to look at Wendy, “LL is coming to stay at the house if they’re staying,” he popped off. “Those with LL are more than welcome to stay there as well.”

  “We still have to finish the dorm rooms,” she reminded Arthur.

  “I don’t give a fuck. LL saved my girl. He wants it, I’ll suck his dick right now,” Arthur vowed, and LL took several steps back holding up both hands.

  “Whoa, now,” he called out.

  “That’s fucking love,” Joseph informed everyone.

  “Maybe, b
ut you don’t need to do anything extravagant,” LL told Arthur. “Just a place to rest would be great, but if you can’t handle our numbers we’ll move on. No hard feelings.”

  Squaring off with LL, “Motherfucker, you’re the only swinging dick that can go to my house and sit in my chair for the rest of your life and not do a god-damn-thing. I’ll do your work and mine. You didn’t have to help in that attack and I’m surprised you did, considering how outnumbered you were, according to Wendy,” Arthur said, and LL’s hands just dropped by his side in shock as Arthur continued. “Those with you, they’ll have to pitch in, but they stay with us. They are with you, the man that came to my wife’s aid. Now, I don’t want to have to get violent, but I will. I want you to at least come to my house, so I can feed you at the very least. If you want to move on, I won’t stop you, but I will beg you not to leave.”

  Looking into Arthur’s eyes as he spoke, LL could tell Arthur was serious, LL was just hoping the blowjob was a joke. “Arthur, Wendy was fighting back, and I couldn’t just not help. That wasn’t how I was raised or how I raised my boys. I wasn’t going to commit suicide, but with the way Wendy was sending hate out of that little shack, they never knew I was involved until I had half their number down. I’m not something special, young man.”

  Giving a shrug, “Don’t care why you did it, just that you did help her,” Arthur told him. “I’m in a debt to you that I’ll never be able to repay.”

  Listening to Arthur talk, “Oh,” Wendy snarled out rather seductively. “We aren’t having a date night, we’re having a freak nasty night, babe.”

  “Love my wife with all my heart, my very being, in fact,” Jason declared with raised eyebrows, “just don’t know if I could offer a blowjob and really mean it like he did.” LL and Joseph both snickered. “A hand job I could do, maybe even a reach around. Just don’t know about the pole smoking and hope I never have to find out.”

  “Jason,” Arthur called out, breaking his realization discovery. “I’ll play LL’s rusty trombone with pride.”

  Stumbling back, Jason fell on his ass with wide eyes. Hearing a ‘Wow’, from Wendy, LL looked at Joseph only to see shock. “I have no idea what that is, but I don’t have a trombone,” LL informed Arthur. “Much less a rusty one, son.”

  Busting out laughing, “LL, it’s when someone eats a man’s ass and masturbates them at the same time; rusty trombone,” Wendy cackled.

  Dropping his hands to his rifle, LL stepped back until his back was pressed against his Suburban. “Arthur, Caravan Man, I don’t care, you look at me funny, I’m going to shoot ya. You told me thanks and we could take a break at your place, we’re even, so get all this other stuff out of your mind for payment, there isn’t any payment due and never will be,” LL warned, then turned to Wendy. “Girl, you ever leave this one, I’ll find ya and it won’t be pretty.”

  Samantha jumped from the van and everyone was surprised not to hear crying babies. “Jason, what the hell is wrong?” she asked, coming over and holding out her hand to help him up.

  Taking her hand and looking up as he got up, “I don’t even have to think about the rusty trombone, I would just let someone fuck me before playing their rusty trombone,” Jason declared to all.

  Shivering as she danced away, “Who’s rusty are you talking about playing because I’m leaving before you do,” she informed him. Jason quickly explained the reason and Samantha just shook her head and patted Jason’s cheek. “Good boy, if someone told me I had to repay them by playing the rusty trombone… I would tell you to skull fuck ‘em until they died.”

  Leaning over, Jason kissed her cheek. “I could do that,” he chuckled.

  “Y’all follow Wendy out. I’ll be along shortly,” Arthur said, waving at his vehicles and people started pouring out.

  Seeing the twins on the MRAP, LL almost called out, but Wendy grabbed his arm. “Remember, we don’t know them,” she reminded him. “No one is close, but we don’t know if any are further out watching,” she said, pointing around the area.

  Glancing around and noticing a number of hilltops miles away that a person could be set up on, “Sorry, just glad to see ‘em,” LL said.

  Watching the twins struggling to lift a hundred pound can of fifty caliber ammunition together, “Oh, they were happy to hear from you,” Wendy said, very impressed with Jo Ann and Sally. “You can tell them later.”

  As LL opened his Suburban’s door, he saw a kid and a young man carrying a dead body past, making him stop. A teenage girl followed them with a sign mounted to a board that read, ‘Point your fucking gun at me and I kill everyone in your group. Show me respect and I’ll do the same. The Caravan Man’

  “Now that is teaching proper morals and behavior on a scale that will demand compliance. No slap on the wrist for your first infraction,” LL chuckled, climbing into his truck. Glancing over to see Samantha and Jason climbing in the van, he turned ahead to see Wendy already pulling away and turning around in the median. “Oh, Edith,” he mumbled to his dead wife who’d passed two decades ago. “I’ve never been so happy that I helped another person as I am for helping Wendy that day,” LL said, and the kids in the Suburban glanced over at him as he pulled out of the median following Wendy’s group.

  In his mirror, he saw more bodies being pulled from a trailer that held ATVs until Jason and Samantha’s jacked-up van blocked his view by pulling in behind him. “Edith, I loved you more than the earth, but I don’t think I could’ve offered to play a rusty trombone for ya,” LL said, and that really confused the kids.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Exhaustion wins

  Reaching the ranch, LL, Jason, and Samantha were blown away, but their bodies and minds were exhausted on a scale not many would ever know. When they pulled up to a spot to park, a passel of ten through twelve-year-olds came down from the house and collected the infants and other kids in their group. “They do know how to take care of babies, right?” Samantha asked, watching the infants being extracted from the van very adeptly by the kids.

  “Oh, yeah. Little Momma doesn’t tolerate any shortcomings when it comes to the kids,” Wendy assured her. “We put the keys to all the vehicles under the driver’s seat,” she said, closing the door to the Tahoe. “Not for the kids, but if someone does figure out how to get inside the perimeter fence, Arthur doesn’t want keys left in the ignition. If the vehicle isn’t going to be used in a while, we arm the alarm and put the keys in a lockbox,” she said, pointing at a farmhouse on the valley floor that was surrounded by equipment.

  Giving an impressed nod, LL tossed his keys under his seat and then shut the door. “Nice house,” LL said, looking at the house and wondering how the hell all the bodies he was seeing could possibly fit inside.

  Throwing her head back and laughing, “That’s not our house, LL,” she said. “This used to be our neighbors’ farm. Now, the house and barn are used for storage. There are five other houses on small farms in our perimeter that we’re using also. Number six was where the lake is, so it got knocked down.”

  Walking past his mom, “And boy, did you piss Dad off,” Joseph mumbled.

  “Doing it his way would’ve taken ten days to tear down that house, barn, and outbuildings. Then move all the shit off and stacking it in neat piles. My way, we were done in an hour,” Wendy snapped.

  Spinning around to walk backward, “Hey, I agree with you privately, but you know Dad hates to waste shit he can use later. I was dreading recovering that many damn bricks, or more appropriately, dreading for the kids because I know for a fact, neither of you would’ve let me help. I’ve done that before, remember the house that came with the land the textile barn is on? That’s the only time I’ve ever whined to Dad and I was thirteen. He told me to take my dick off and put on an itty bitty, little girl pussy because I was acting like a little spoiled bitch,” Joseph scoffed, spinning around and walking normally before calling over his shoulder, “Dad said I couldn’t even get a big pussy to replace my dick because not even a woman
would whine as much as I did!”

  “Why in the fuck didn’t you tell me then?!” Wendy shouted.

  Jumping in one of the line of UTVs, “Are you insane?!” Joseph shouted back. “Then I would’ve been a tattletale, and he would’ve found a tiny pussy to replace my dick with! He wasn’t taking away my first toy, so I just shut my mouth and recovered the damn bricks!”

  Laughing at the two, Jason slung his AR over his back. “I’m really not in the mood for feeding time,” he sighed. LL and Samantha both nodded, moving to the line of UTVs.

  “Guys,” Wendy called out, stopping them. “Let the kids take ‘em and get them fed. I need to show you around.”

  For a split second, the three gave a look of utter joy, but it was quickly replaced by fear. For the last seven months, Jason and Samantha had cared for and protected the infants, and then they’d joined up with LL who was caring for his group. It felt wrong not to be doing it with the effort they had already put forth. The three looked at one another, wondering how to proceed.

  “Guys, the kids will be fine, I assure you,” Wendy told them. “I need to show you around. You’re big people, and you need to know the lay of the land inside the ranch, just in case we’re found or attacked. The big people will move out to hit the attackers while the older kids secure the home.”

  Understanding that very well, the three followed Wendy to another UTV and climbed in. “Have many problems around here?” Jason asked, dropping into the backseat with his wife.

  “No, the Caravan Man takes care of them before they become a problem to us,” Wendy answered, driving off back down the road lined with equipment toward the levee.

  “Does Arthur take the kids out a lot to do his Caravan Man business?” Samantha asked, cradling her rifle. The valley had a sense of peace she hadn’t felt since before the world had fallen into viral misery.

  “If you’re talking about hitting gangs, no. Today was the first time,” Wendy said, pulling to a stop on top of the levee. “He didn’t want to, but his mini me’s begged and pleaded after he caught the radio transmissions from that group shadowing you. I normally would’ve taken his side, but we had date night last night and neither of us has slept.”