The Ugly Side of Me

by Nikita Lynnette Nichols

  Anastasia shook her head from side to side. “Humph, humph, humph. You left without a problem, right?” She was hopeful.

  “Not exactly, Stacy. I left the club, then went outside and got a tire iron from my trunk and threw it through Malcolm’s rear window. Then I jumped in my car and sped out of the parking lot. I came here ’cause I was too scared to go home. I thought the police would be lookin’ for me there.”

  The look on Anastasia’s face was one of horror. “Rhapsody, are you thirty-four or sixteen?”

  “Look, Stacy, I know I was wrong, okay? It’s just that—”

  “It’s just that your grown behind is sprung. There is no other way to put it. You are sprung out over a twenty-one-year-old dangalang, and it’s a shame. You need to get your stuff together before you self-destruct.”

  “You think I should apologize to Malcolm, Stacy?”

  Her eyes grew wide. “Do I think—” She cut her own words off and composed herself. She lowered her voice. “Yes, you should apologize and pay to get Malcolm’s window fixed. But don’t do anything just yet. Give Malcolm a few days to calm down a bit.”

  “Maybe I should go to Burger World and talk to him today.”

  “You know what, Rhapsody? Your head is as hard as a brick. What did I just say? Stay away from Malcolm until he calms down. Seeing you this soon will set him off.”

  “Yeah, you’re right, Stacy. I’ll wait until he gets off work, and then I’ll call his cell phone. No sense in upsetting his day at work.”

  Anastasia stood and came over to me. She tapped her knuckles against my forehead. “Hello, Mr. Brain. Are you in there? Can you shut this dumb broad up and let me talk to someone with some common sense?”

  I pushed her hand away. “That ain’t funny.”

  “You’re right. It’s not funny. This whole situation is sad. Really sad. I’m trying to tell you that you’re about to screw up again, but you won’t listen to reason, so go ahead and do what you feel you have to do. I know one thing, though,” Anastasia said over her shoulder as she turned to leave the guest bedroom. “If you ever ring my doorbell in the middle of the night and disturb my family again, I’ma call the police on you myself.”

  Anastasia laid Chantal down in her crib and then cooked breakfast for both of us. I swallowed the eggs and bacon so fast and was out of Anastasia’s house before eight o’clock. I couldn’t take her going on and on about what I should and shouldn’t do about Malcolm. Don’t get me wrong. Anastasia was my best friend, and I valued our relationship and her opinions, but she really needed to shut up sometimes.

  I knew I was wrong in what I did, okay? I got that. But coming down on me harder and harder wasn’t gonna change the fact that a wrong needed to be made right. I figured that if I could just get Malcolm alone, somewhere where it was just the two of us, I could explain my actions to him.

  On my way home from Anastasia’s house, I called Malcolm’s cellular telephone.

  “What do you want?” Malcolm yelled into the telephone. I knew he was mad at me, but darn.

  “I’m sorry.” That was all I could say. I was set to give him a long, drawn-out speech, but his greeting threw me for a loop.

  “You crazy broad! Yeah, you’re sorry, all right.”

  “Listen, Malcolm, I know you’re upset, but—”

  “Upset? Try mad and pissed off! You’re a crazy broad, you know that?”

  “Okay, I can understand your frustration, but I ain’t gonna be too many more broads.”

  “You’re gonna be whatever I say you are. What is wrong with you, girl? You don’t own me. You ain’t got no papers on me.”

  I exhaled loudly in Malcolm’s ear to let him know that he was getting on my last nerve and the one before it. “If you would shut your mouth for one minute, you’d realize that I’m trying to apologize.”

  “Apologize for what?” He was still yelling. “For destroying my mother’s car?”

  I frowned. I was confused. “Your mother’s car?”

  “Yeah, it was my mother’s car,” he confirmed. “And you know what, Rhapsody? She chewed me a new butthole last night.”

  “Oh, my God,” I said. I really felt bad when he told me that. “Malcolm, I didn’t know it was your mother’s car.”

  “It doesn’t matter whose car it was. You don’t damage other folks’ property.”

  “Wait a minute,” I said. “You told me your mother was a paraplegic. How is it her car?”

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but she was driving before she got paralyzed.”

  “Malcolm, I am so sorry,” I said with much sincerity. “I’m going to pay for the window.”

  “I don’t want anything from you. The insurance is going to cover it.”

  “Malcolm, the window won’t cost but a few hundred dollars at most. It’s not worth the risk of having your car insurance go up just for a broken window.”

  “I said, I don’t want anything from you. Because of you, my mother took the car from me, and now I gotta take the bus everywhere I need to go. Cherise had to miss work today to take her to therapy.”

  “Who’s Cherise?”

  “My sister.”

  “Well, I don’t know what else to say to you, Malcolm. I was wrong and out of line. And I’m sorry it cost you the car.”

  “Whatever! Just leave me alone.” Malcolm disconnected the call.

  Chapter 15

  I took a hot shower when I got home from Anastasia’s house. I was lying across my bed and looking at The Price Is Right when I thought about my best friend. I didn’t like the way we had left things that morning. After she had warned me never to come to her house unannounced in the wee hours of the morning, she had cooked us breakfast. We’d eaten in silence; then I’d left. I did appreciate Anastasia, and I truly valued our friendship. I felt the need to call her and let her know that deep down inside, I knew she had my back and would tell me only what I needed to hear. Anastasia would never pacify me with the things I wanted to hear. She’d proven to me over and over again that she had only my best interests at heart.

  I was reaching for the telephone on my nightstand to call her when I noticed the light on my answering machine flashing. I pressed the PLAY button.

  “Hey, baby girl. It’s Mama. I called your job, and your boss said that you were out sick today. What’s the matter? Call me, okay?” Beep.

  “Rhapsody, will you please call Walter or me? We gotta get this anniversary party together for Mom and Dad. You ain’t that busy that you can’t help us with this.” Beep.

  “Hey, girl. What’s up? This is Clyde. Let’s hook up tonight. Call me.” Beep.

  I erased all three messages. I didn’t wanna give Daniel or Walter the time of day. And as far as Clyde was concerned, we couldn’t hook nothing up. He needed to hook his raggedy mouth up with a dental plan. Every other tooth in Clyde’s mouth was missing; when he smiled, you’d swear you were looking at piano keys. I dialed the number that was so very familiar to me.

  “Hello.”

  “Hey, Ma.”

  “Baby girl, what’s wrong with you?”

  “I just got a little headache, that’s all,” I lied. “I didn’t feel like going to work today. How are you?”

  She exhaled. “I guess I’m all right. My arthritis in my right arm is acting up.”

  “Daddy told me you went to the riverboat last night. How were you able to pull the slot machine handles with your bad arm?”

  “I pulled with my left arm, and I won six hundred dollars.”

  “Good for you. What are you gonna do with your newfound wealth?”

  “Get me some new drapes in the living and dining rooms. Walter and Daniel have been calling here like crazy, looking for you.”

  “I don’t know why. The dumb fools know I don’t live there.”

  “They said you won’t talk to them.”

  “Ma, you gave birth to two stupid sons, okay? I was on the phone with them last night, and between the two of them, they had nothing to say. Al
l I heard was, ‘You tell her, Walter.’ ‘You tell her, Danny.’ Ain’t nobody got time for that.”

  Lerlean laughed at me. “You are truly your mother’s daughter.”

  “Daddy told me that you cussed him out last night.”

  “I sho did, and I’ma cuss him out again when I get off this phone.”

  “Why, Ma?”

  “Because he ain’t got no business tellin’ nobody what I do. What goes on in this house stays in this house unless I tell it. It was nobody’s business that I went to the boat.”

  “But, Ma, you can’t get mad just because he didn’t know how to open a can of Spam.”

  “Well, what the heck did he think the small key attached to the can was for? The front door?”

  I chuckled. Lerlean was right. We were definitely mother and daughter, ’cause that was exactly something I would have said.

  “Take it easy on Daddy. He loves you.”

  “Yeah, okay,” she said. “I’m about to show him what love is. And don’t forget—”

  “I know. I know,” I said. “I’ll be at church on Sunday.” I disconnected the call.

  After talking with my mother, I called Anastasia. “I just want to thank you for your hospitality.”

  “You called him, didn’t you?” she asked.

  “What?”

  “Don’t play with me, Rhapsody. You heard me.”

  “What if I did call Malcolm?”

  I heard her exhale loudly. “You just won’t learn, will you?”

  “For your information, Stacy, Malcolm and I had a decent conversation.” I seemed to lie so effortlessly.

  “Oh, really?” she asked. The tone of her voice told me that she wasn’t convinced.

  “Yep. I still feel bad, though. It was his mother’s car that I damaged, and she took it away from him.”

  “His mother’s car? I thought you said she’s a paraplegic.”

  “She had the car before her accident.”

  “What kind of accident did she have?”

  “I don’t know. Malcolm didn’t get into all of that. I hate the fact that he’s gotta take the bus everywhere.”

  “Well, you work for the CTA. Get him a bus pass. It’s the least you can do.”

  “Maybe it is. Maybe it ain’t,” I said. The wheels in my head were turning.

  “The way you say that, it sounds like you’re thinkin’ about buying Malcolm a car.” Anastasia chuckled at the thought.

  I laughed in her ear. “Girl, please. I’ll admit that I’m sprung, but I ain’t that sprung.”

  Fifteen minutes later, I was dressed and driving nowhere in particular. With my checkbook in my purse, I would stop at the first car dealership I came upon. I was gonna get Malcolm back by any means necessary.

  By 3:00 p.m. Malcolm’s brand-new, silver, late-model Lincoln Navigator sat in my driveway with a gigantic red satin bow sitting on top of the hood. It cost me $250.00 to have it delivered. Another three hundred dollars added to that equaled the car note I would pay each month for the next thirty-six months.

  Automatic everything, including a moonroof; an ebony leather interior; deep, heated bucket seats; and a top-of-the-line stereo system; plus a twenty-disc changer were just a few of the amenities Malcolm had to look forward to. Even my Mercedes-Benz didn’t have some of the features Malcolm’s SUV had, such as the two high-definition televisions adjacent to the interior ceiling light for the backseat passengers to enjoy. And a personalized dashboard would greet Malcolm each time he sat in the driver’s seat. I couldn’t wait to see his face when he heard, “Hello, Malcolm. Welcome to paradise.”

  I sat in the parking lot at Burger World, facing the door to make sure I didn’t miss him when he exited the restaurant. I had no clue when his shift ended, but I was gonna sit and wait all afternoon and evening if I had to. But at exactly 4:03 p.m. I saw his fine behind appear. I started my engine and slowly eased my car next to him as he walked toward the bus stop.

  I honked my horn one time and let down my driver’s window. “Hey, handsome. You want a ride?”

  Malcolm looked at me, then looked at his wristwatch. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”

  “I’m trying to offer you a ride, Malcolm. It’s about ninety degrees out here.”

  “If it weren’t for you, I would have a ride. And you ain’t gotta tell me how hot it is. I’m already sweatin’.”

  “I can fix that.”

  Malcolm stopped walking and looked at me. “What are you talkin’ about?”

  “Get in, and I’ll tell you.”

  He shook his head from side to side. “You must be smoking dope if you think I’m foolin’ with you.”

  “Malcolm, that was cruel.”

  He shrugged his shoulders and kept walking. “You may as well know that I took out a restraining order against you.”

  I knew he was lying. “Is that right? Why haven’t I been served?”

  “My lawyer didn’t serve you today?” He tried to look shocked, but it wasn’t working.

  I had to laugh at him. “First of all, if you’re gonna tell a lie, at least make it sound like you know what you’re talkin’ about. A lawyer doesn’t serve restraining orders. Sheriffs do. And if you do have a lawyer who’s dumb enough to darken my doorstep with a restraining order, he’ll get shot in his butt.”

  “I really believe you’ll do something like that.”

  “I was joking, Malcolm.”

  He kept walking toward the bus stop while I cruised down the street. “No you weren’t.”

  This back-and-forth banter was getting on my nerves. “Malcolm, I was joking. Now, get in this car.”

  “Rhapsody, you need to go on. First, you cuss me out on my voice mail, and then you scratch my back up. After that, you showed up at Mr. G’s and embarrassed me. Then you bust my car window. And now you think I’m gonna let you drive me somewhere and kill me?”

  I was offended. “Oh, so now I’m a killer?”

  “I wouldn’t put it past you,” he said.

  “Okay, Malcolm, I admit that I behaved badly the past couple of days, and I’m sorry. I bought you a gift, a very expensive gift.”

  Malcolm got to the corner and sat down on the bench next to the bus stop sign. “I don’t want it.”

  I pulled my car over to the curb. “It’s something I know you’ll like.”

  “Where is it?” he asked.

  “At my house.”

  Malcolm shook his head from side to side. “Nope. It’s a trap.”

  “It’s not a trap, Malcolm. Trust me, you’ll want this gift.”

  “Oh, snap,” Malcolm said excitedly as I pulled my car into the driveway and stopped next to the Lincoln Navigator. “Is this for me?”

  “Yep.”

  I had barely placed my car in park before Malcolm was at the driver’s door of the SUV. I got out and walked over to him. I could see all thirty-two of his teeth.

  “When did you get it?”

  “This afternoon.”

  I gave Malcolm the keys. He pressed the button on the remote to operate the keyless entry and hopped in.

  “Hello, Malcolm. Welcome to paradise.”

  Malcolm’s eyes lit up, and he covered his wide-open mouth. “How much did you pay for this?”

  “A lot, and I’ll be paying on it for the next three years.”

  “How much is the note?”

  “Why? Are you gonna help me pay it?” I asked with an attitude. He was getting on my nerves with the questions.

  “Calm down. I was just asking,” he said.

  I stood outside the SUV, next to him, as he fumbled with the knobs and buttons on the dashboard.

  “Malcolm.”

  “Huh?” he said, preoccupied.

  “Malcolm, look at me.”

  He gave me his undivided attention. “What’s up?”

  “Contrary to what people may think, I don’t have a lot of money. Just because I have a nice job and I’m single, with no kids, doesn’t mean that I’m rolling in dough. I made
a huge sacrifice and bought this truck for you because I really like you, and I wanted to show you how sorry I was for doin’ the fool.”

  He leaned out of the truck and kissed my lips lightly. “It’s cool, Rhapsody.” He began pushing buttons on the dashboard.

  “And one more thing,” I said.

  He kept fidgeting with the dashboard. “I’m listening.”

  “This truck isn’t a free ride for you. Just like it’s costing me, it’s gonna cost you too.”

  Malcolm looked at me, then shrugged his shoulders. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean I want you at my beck and call. I don’t care what you’re doing or where you are, when I call, you better come.”

  Malcolm giggled. “Oh, so it’s like that, huh? You puttin’ my junk on a leash?”

  “That’s the way it is.” I needed Malcolm to know how serious I was.

  “A’ight. I’m down with that,” he said. He settled back into the deep leather bucket seat. “I can’t wait to show Ivan.” He started the engine. I reached for the keys and turned the engine off. Malcolm looked at me like I was crazy. “What’s the deal, Rhapsody?”

  “You need to thank me for your gift.” I walked toward my front door. Malcolm exited the SUV and followed me.

  It was almost 9:30 p.m. when I woke up. I turned my night-light on and sat up on the bed. Malcolm was gone, but his cologne, mixed with the scent of sex, still lingered in the air. I reached for the telephone to test my powers. Why? Because I wanted to.

  “This is Malcolm,” he answered.

  “Where are you?” I asked.

  “Ivan and I are about to go get somethin’ to eat.”

  “Come back to my house right now.”

  “What?”

  “You heard what I said, Malcolm.”

  I heard him exhale loudly. “Rhapsody, I just left you a couple of hours ago. Plus, I’m already on the South Side, and I got my boy with me.”

  “Is that supposed to mean something to me? What did I tell you earlier?”

  “Come on, Rhapsody,” he whined.

  “Either you come back to my house or I’m coming to get my truck.”