Barnaby's Shorts (Volume One)
Page 17
*****
For some reason, which even the princess could not explain, she decided to take a chance and accept. Perhaps the artisans had been particularly obdurate that day, or perhaps it was just the smell of spring in the air.
The little frog washed under his arms twice in sheer delight at the prospect and made sure he was wearing clean underpants.
She put on her finest clothes, to show the frog that she was indeed a real princess. She wore her black leggings and her clumpy black shoes and her big sloppy pullover. The little frog had never seen anything so beautiful in his whole life.
To her surprise, the princess had a good time at the pub. The frog turned out to be good company. She even drank three glasses of orange juice and went home just a little bit squiffy.
The frog and the princess went out a few times after that. They went to the theatre and had dinner together. Once they even went to Portobello Road together. And the frog thought the princess was more beautiful every time he saw her, and the funny thing was that the princess thought the frog looked less like a frog every time she saw him. For the truth is that the little frog's heart beat so strongly when he was with the princess, that he grew younger and more handsome every day.
Pretty soon the princess lost interest in her other suitors. She preferred to be with the frog. Somehow the frog made her feel like, well, like a princess.
One day she quite forgot that he was a frog at all and she leaned across and kissed him on the lips.
"Why!" she cried , "You're not cold and clammy at all. In fact I think you are the nicest person I know."
The little frog thought that he would explode with joy.
Soon after that the frog moved in with the princess and helped her with all the housework. He was well trained and always lowered the loo seat after he had used it.
And one day the frog wound up his affairs and gave up his daytime job, and he took the princess to live in his castle in frog land.
There she set up a business selling artefacts to tourists, for the truth is she enjoyed the trade, and he did this and that to ensure that she would always feel like a princess. Sometimes he would buy her new leggings or a new jumper, because he always liked her to look beautiful.
And he always made sure she was well supplied with flimsy silk underwear, because even frogs have fantasies.
THE END
Barnaby Wilde March 1993