Built to Last

by Camellia Tate

  She looked up before I could do anything of the kind, pinning me with a look that made me feel like she could stare right through me if she wanted to.

  “So where do we start?” I asked, with a grin.

  “Bernie said he has been teaching you about events, so I thought we’d start there,” she answered. Rose set her book down. It was, I noticed, a romance book. Not what I would’ve expected her to read at all. She didn’t seem in any way shy about it. That kind of made me appreciate her even more.

  Ignoring the way my eyes lingered on her book, Rose shifted in her seat. “I figured we’d start with conversation. You are going to be expected to converse with some very posh people. They are not going to appreciate your inability to...” She paused, almost as if trying to find some nice words to say I didn’t know how to speak in her fancy way.

  Then, Rose just shrugged. “Conversation,” she repeated. “And if you do okay, I’ll consider teaching you to dance.” Now that definitely piqued my interest. Holding her close and swinging to music? Sign me up!

  I did take the seat beside her, her socked toes brushing against my thigh. I didn’t reach for her feet. I wanted to stay in Rose’s good books . Especially if it meant she’d teach me how to dance.

  “Why does it matter how I speak?” I asked. It was the same question that had bothered me all through my lesson with Bernie. “This way of doing things, refusing to catch up to the modern day. It’s not more efficient, it’s not easier. It just seems… fussy.”

  I wasn’t trying to get on Rose’s nerves. I really didn’t understand. “I can’t learn something if I don’t understand why it’s important .”

  “It’s tradition,” Rose answered. “It’s... culture. History.” That explanation didn’t really explain anything. The look on my face must have said as much. Rose sighed. It didn’t sound as frustrated as she normally was with me. Maybe I was growing on her.

  “I get why it seems weird to learn how to speak properly, how to have conversations like that... It’s showing respect. It’s showing that you can fit in to the history you have inherited. Right now, no one thinks you can be the Duke of Claxthorpe in anything but name.” And I knew that that no one included Rose, which suddenly felt kind of shitty. “Don’t you want to prove them wrong?”

  I wanted to prove Rose wrong. I wanted to show her that there was more to me than what she’d seen so far. I’d never been very concerned with fitting in - to history or anything else. I preferred to stand out.

  First, I had to prove that I could be a duke. The kind of duke Rose would respect.

  “Go on then,” I agreed. “Tell me how I show people that I respect them.”

  She smiled at that and it made my breath catch. I was pretty sure this was the first time in the whole time we’d known each other that I had made Rose smile. It felt... incredibly rewarding. A lot more rewarding than I would have expected. It made me want to do it again, to see her smile because of something I said or did.

  “We'll start with really basic things,” Rose said. “In general there are a few rules for how to successfully have a conversation. For example, you should always listen more than you talk. It'd be good if you had pre-prepared topics. The conversation should always be tailored to the other person.”

  None of that sounded particularly hard. Nor did it seem like something that only applied to dukes and... dukesses? I honestly had no idea what a female duke was called.

  “So for example,” she said drawing me back to the topic at hand. “I know you race cars, what made you get into that?”

  It surprised me that she’d pick racing to ask about, but I smiled. It was a topic I could cover at great length.

  “The same way most boys get into it, I guess,” I said. “I had toy cars as a kid. I used to race them over the kitchen counter while mom cooked, practice turns around the dishes.” I thought I saw another flicker of a smile. It made me want to press on, to tell Rose more about myself.

  But I remembered what she’d just said, about listening more than I talked . “And you grew up in a castle, right?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at her. “What was that like?” I did want to know the answer. I wanted to know how Rose had felt about this place when she’d been too young to be totally proper and correct all the time.

  She noticed that I stopped talking about myself in order to ask her a question. That seemed to earn me another smile. I could do this! I could make her smile and get her to talk to me.

  “It was... really cool.” She laughed. “I always found it almost, I don’t know, magical? All this history around me, all the people who’d walked here before me. And now it was my time?” There she blushed. Honestly, that was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

  My mind began to wonder what it might be like to make her blush in a different setting. I had to shake my head to get rid of the thoughts before I let them run wild.

  “I loved growing up in a castle,” Rose concluded.

  I tried to think what else I knew about Rose. It startled me to realize that there wasn’t much. Maybe she had a point about this etiquette stuff. I clearly hadn’t asked her enough questions about herself.

  “Did you get on with the old duke?” I asked. To me, he was just a name, a relative I hadn’t known existed. To Rose, he was a real person, a living breathing human being that she must have grown up around. He hadn’t had children of his own, I knew that, but not whether that was because he didn’t like kids.

  “Yeah,” she answered straight away. “He was lovely. I knew him since I was very little, so he was like a grandad.” That sounded much closer than whatever I had imagined. I was definitely not a great replacement for that . “And he was a great duke,” she added.

  Looking around the room, Rose shook her head. “I know you don’t get it, Austin. That this isn’t important to you. But it’s part of who you are now. Being a duke is a responsibility. You can’t just disregard it.”

  She was right, it wasn’t important to me. But I could see how important it was to her . That made me want to care about it.

  “What makes a great duke?” I asked. I was curious to know what kind of man Rose wanted to see me shape up to be. I’d always responded well to a challenge.

  There was a small pause, almost like she was checking to see if I was teasing her. I really wasn’t. I must have looked serious enough since she answered.

  “Respecting traditions is a big one. Someone who cares about the history, someone who wants to carry on helping the local community. The estate brings in people and that helps local businesses. What’s the point of a castle if you’re not going to help people with it?”

  It was nothing like what I expected the reason for owning a castle to be. She sounded so passionate about it, it was difficult not to care.

  “I like the idea of helping people.” Rose smiled at me then, making my heart skip a beat. She was stunning. It was all I could do not to reach out to cup her cheek. Her lips looked so soft and inviting, parting slightly like she was as eager for kisses as I was.

  I pushed my desires aside. I still needed Rose to warm up to me, but I was determined to do it.

  “Let’s get practicing, then,” I urged. I wanted to earn that dancing lesson, and the best way to do that would be to show Rose I could be the kind of duke she wanted.

  Chapter Eight

  Rose

  It felt like something had changed between us. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Maybe it was that Austin actually tried to listen to me. His interest in what I said seemed genuine. It was probably the reason why I let Austin move on to the promised dancing instead of continuing with the conversation.

  We could always come back to that. If I was perfectly honest with myself, the idea of teaching Austin to dance was not unappealing . Having his hands on me, having him pull me close...

  “Do you know how to dance?” I asked, rather than letting myself get lost in thoughts about how strong Austin’s hands might be.

  He grinned, and it made something in m
y stomach flutter. When he wasn’t making my life difficult, he was handsome.

  “Not the kind of dancing you mean,” he answered, getting to his feet. He held out a hand to help me up from the chair.

  “I took a deb to cotillion when I was sixteen, but we pretty much just swayed in a circle.” I must have looked confused, because he clarified. “A debutante ball. Her family was much fancier than mine was.” He laughed at that, shaking his head. “At least, they were until I became a duke.”

  That actually startled a laugh from me. The way Austin grinned at me laughing was nice. Like he enjoyed making me laugh. At least I liked to assume it was that. Besides, it was funny, because yeah, being a duke made Austin pretty fancy.

  “We’ll start with something simple, then,” I decided. “You are probably going to need to go to dance classes, though.” I doubted he’d love that, but knowing how to dance at events was important.

  Getting my phone, I set it to play some simple waltz music before taking the hand he’d offered. I hadn’t quite expected the way Austin pulled me close, my breath catching when my breasts pressed against his hard chest.

  His other hand spanned my waist. Even wearing work clothes, I could feel how strong his fingers were. It made me feel delicate in his arms. For a moment, he just looked down at me, neither of us saying anything. His eyes were so bright as they stared into mine. I could feel the heat of his breath against my skin.

  Austin’s tongue darted out, brushing over his lower lip. My gaze followed the movement, wondering how it would feel to trace the shape of his mouth with my tongue.

  Almost as if he could read my mind, Austin pulled me even closer. My eyes closed a second before I felt the brush of his lips against mine.

  I knew I should’ve pushed him away, should’ve told him that this was not happening. But my body wanted it so much. He felt like fire against me. My lips parted to let his tongue lick its way into my mouth. At first, the kiss was soft, almost surprisingly so.

  But then, the heat took over. I kissed back. His mouth was so hot and his big hands pulled me tighter against him.

  His tongue swept into my mouth, dancing against mine. The noise I made was swallowed up in the kiss, but I could hear the way he groaned. The hand around my waist slid lower, clutching possessively at my hip. I went up on my toes to meet him.

  Austin’s other hand cupped my cheek, his fingertips playing with a curl of my hair that had fallen free. He took a step back, pulling me with him, and then another. All I could think about was keeping my body pressed tight against his.

  Then there was a crash, and the heart-stopping sound of breaking glass.

  I could feel how red my lips must’ve looked when I pulled back. There was no time for shyness or bashfulness. Not when something had broken . It was my fault, too. I shouldn’t have... kissed back. Or even set our meeting to be in a room where things could break.

  Pushing Austin away, I turned to find what had broken. My breath caught in my throat when I saw it. A vase two centuries old, lying in pieces because of me .

  “Fuck,” I swore, kneeling down to see how bad the damage was.

  “Careful.” Austin’s voice rang out as he knelt beside me, trying to catch my hands before they could reach the vase. “It could be sharp. You don’t want to cut yourself.”

  Cutting myself was really the last thing I was worried about. I pushed his hands away, reaching for the biggest piece of the vase. Under it, the other side was completely smashed. It was shattered beyond any hope of repair.

  “It’s alright,” Austin said. “It was an accident.”

  “It’s not okay,” I snapped. I couldn’t help it. This was my fault . If I hadn’t organized this here, if I hadn’t kissed Austin back, if any of the things, I wouldn’t have broken an invaluable piece of history. If there was a way this could be restored it’d cost a fortune.

  I gathered the pieces up best I could, smacking Austin’s hand out of the way when he tried to help. It was so much easier to blame him than to blame myself. “I need to log this.” I sighed, standing up and setting the pieces to one side. An accident or not, this was awful .

  Austin stood, too, dusting his hands against his trousers. He stepped closer, the smell of his aftershave washing over me. I felt his hand come back to rest against my waist.

  Part of me wanted to take whatever comfort he was offering. I could hide my head against his muscled chest and just let go, for a moment. It wouldn’t repair the vase, but it might ease the sudden clenching of my heart against my ribs.

  “You won’t get in trouble, will you?” Austin asked, sounding genuinely concerned. “I mean, it was just a vase.”

  That was what made me pull away.

  What was I thinking? He was never going to get it . To Austin, this was just a game. Something that didn’t matter. He didn’t care and he would never understand why I did. I wasn’t interested in a fling with the duke, I really wasn’t. It was obvious that nothing more than that was going to be a possibility.

  He would never learn. So far, Austin had shown next to no interest in understanding why any of this mattered. Why it mattered to me .

  “It’s not just a vase,” I snapped. “It’s been here for two hundred years and now, because I’m stupid, I’ve destroyed it.” And so had he. But Austin obviously didn’t care either way.

  I needed to go find a box to put all the pieces in and then log it. Maybe start looking at finding someone who might be able to restore it. There were so many things I needed to do. And yet, here I was, still standing in front of Austin.

  “You just don’t get it,” I said, shaking my head, maybe reminding myself how true that was more than anything else. “It matters to me, Austin. All of this,” I said waving my hand to indicate everything around us, “matters to me.”

  Without letting him say anything, I stormed off. I couldn’t deal with this, with him . It had been stupid of me to kiss him. No matter how much my body reacted to his touch, I couldn’t let myself fall for this. For him. Fuck.

  Chapter Nine

  Austin

  I didn’t see Rose the next day. Bernie said she was just dealing with her actual work on the estate - work that didn’t include looking after me - but I had a feeling it was more than that. Rose was avoiding me. I didn’t know if it was because of the kiss or the vase, or both.

  I’d fucked up. Not by kissing her, I couldn’t regret that, but by not being more careful . Obviously, I hadn’t wanted to start knocking over the furniture. I just also hadn’t been able to take in anything but Rose. I couldn’t even remember what the vase had looked like before it broke. That’s how little attention I’d paid.

  I knew I needed to do something. I couldn’t exactly go out to the shops to buy a replacement two-hundred-year-old vase. It took me about half the day to realize the only thing I could do was apologize.

  Two days after our lesson in conversation - and kissing - I found Rose in the ‘staff’ wing of the castle. Her office was small and kind of dim. One of the perils of working in a genuine castle.

  I knocked at the door, my stomach a mass of nerves. I hated the thought that she might not want to see me. If anything, I wanted her more since our kiss. It was all I could do not to get distracted by the perfect pink of her lips.

  “Can you take a five-minute break?” I asked. I was doing my absolute best to be respectful.

  For a moment, it really looked like she was going to say ‘no’. After a pause, Rose nodded. “Yeah, okay,” she said, getting up from her desk. “What can I do for you, Your Grace?” The title didn’t escape me. In this instance, I knew she was using it as a barrier between us.

  I couldn’t let that discourage me. I’d won her over once - sort of. I could do it again.

  I stepped inside, propping my hip on the edge of Rose’s desk. “Nothing.” This wasn’t about Rose doing anything for me. I wanted to make sure she knew that.

  “I’m sorry about breaking the vase yesterday,” I said, holding eye contact. I’d as
ked Bernie what the right way to apologize was. He hadn’t really told me anything that different from how my dad had taught me.

  “And I’m sorry I didn’t get how important it was to you,” I added. I felt worse about that than about the vase. “You’ve said over and over how much you want me to respect the history of this place. I shouldn’t have let myself get distracted from that.”

  If she was surprised by my apology, she did a great job of not showing it. I wanted to think that she wouldn’t be, that my apology wasn’t that surprising. Except I also knew that Rose didn’t think I cared. It was difficult to prove her wrong but I really wanted to. The way she had smiled at me yesterday, I wanted to make her do that again .

  And also have her kiss me again.

  “I have said that over and over again,” Rose nodded. “And you have repeatedly ignored it. The fact is, Austin, that you don’t care. You couldn’t give less of a shit about the history of this place, of your family or the people associated with the Claxthorpe estate.” Her tone took me aback. She sounded angry .

  Pushing her chair back from the desk, Rose shook her head. “I can’t force you to care, but I don’t have to put up with it either.”

  She had a point. The fact that the vase was two hundred years old meant a lot less to me than the fact Rose had been upset over it’s breaking. Why did I need to care about history when I had living and breathing people to care about?

  I didn’t know how to make her understand that.

  “I care about the people,” I argued. “The ones who are alive now, working on the estate.” It was why I’d wanted James to get his job back, why I did my best to pay attention to whatever Bernie droned on about.

  “I care about you .”

  That surely had to count for something, right?

  The look she gave me didn’t seem to agree. Rose rolled her eyes, like my words weren’t true. I didn’t know how to convince her that they were. But I really wanted to. I wanted Rose to believe me. The wish struck me so suddenly. I sent up a silent prayer that it wasn’t too late.