But then I knew the answer. I was absolutely confident she’d bitten me, because I was dying. The radiation she generated was killing me. Had been killing me, in the past. And this was the moment when she’d bitten me, to try to save my life.
Still, I wanted to hear her answer. I wanted to understand what was happening.
But I couldn’t perceive the response, her crimson eyes fading away as I plunged into darkness again.
Falling, falling, forever.
Again, a speck appeared in the infinite darkness, an invisible flame hovering close by – a familiarity to it, as if we’d met before. But I couldn’t focus on the wavering blemish, a brilliant light falling towards me, colliding into me with the force of a hundred-thousand trucks, feeling like I was laying on the surface of the sun.
Unable to see into the light, I turned my head to see the fissure between it and the darkness behind me.
Like the edge of the ocean, a sea of Life met a shore of shadows. Yet the shadows were empty, whereas the Life seemed full. There was nothing in the shadows. There was everything in the Life – it had a presence, whereas the shadow was the absence of that presence.
Abruptly, the light pressed into me, forcing my chest inward, causing an excruciating pain. It felt like my ribs were breaking. I tried to fall away, to sink into the empty darkness, but it reached out and hit me again.
And again.
With every push away, it paradoxically pulled me closer towards it. I struggled to free myself from its grasp, but then I heard a voice deep within the light, unseen by my eyes.
“No! Stay back!”
While I heard words, I couldn’t comprehend their meaning. It was as if they were from a language I didn’t understand, yet somehow the voice was familiar to me. The light hit me again and again, more forcibly each time. It grew hotter and brighter. It was burning me, consuming my body. The voice called out again.
Why did it seem so familiar? Why was it so afraid?
“I said stay back!”
The pounding continued, and then I saw the fear. Deep inside the light, a small shadow had invaded. It didn’t belong there, it was tormenting the voice.
Angered, I reached out towards the shadow. But it was too far away.
It infuriated me. I hated the shadow for causing pain. For causing her pain.
The anger drew something out of me that I hadn’t known was there. A deep energy caged up unable to free itself. I called on it, willing it to be, but I couldn’t direct it towards the shadow. I could only direct it out.
So I did.
My eyes abruptly opened to bolts of blue electricity firing everywhere in long arcs, lightning ricocheting all along a metal fence, yet it didn’t seem to touch the people who were inside it. A handful of humans were within the makeshift metal walls, trying to escape the explosion of energy.
Miriam’s red eyes glowed brightly above me, starkly contrasted against our brilliant azure surroundings.
She was sitting on top of me, straddling my waist, her hands on my chest.
Confused, I realized I was on my back beneath her. It was daylight, but the clouds in the sky were covering the sun, causing the already dim sunlight to seem even more darkened by the bright light around us.
Miriam looked like she was about to burst into tears at any moment, barely maintaining her composure. Carefully, I reached up to touch her face, trying to comfort her.
And then I saw it.
My hand was glowing – I was glowing. I could feel my heart pounding rapidly in my chest, sending arcs of energy out of my body with each powerful beat.
Miriam moved her hands to my face, holding me as tears slipped from her eyes. “Let’s go, love. You’ll be okay now.”
And then I realized it.
This was the moment I’d once died, shortly after my love had bitten me. I tried to speak again, tried to beg for help, but she vanished right before my eyes.
Instantly, I was swallowed up by darkness again, those crimson moons vanishing from my sight, the universe full of emptiness.
Falling, falling, forever.
Again, a speck appeared in the infinite darkness, an invisible flame hovering close by – a familiarity to it, as if we knew each other well. But I couldn’t focus on the wavering blemish, an intense light appearing before me, this time much different than the previous times.
This was like a brilliant star, but compared to what I’d just experienced, it was much dimmer, softer, and more gentle – the difference between the sun and a firefly, though I myself felt as tiny as a bug. It reached out to me, attempting to hold me as I drifted through the empty darkness.
Bloodthirsty demons appeared around me then, frozen in place, only to vanish from the intensity of the light – with brilliant green eyes being the only indication that there was a person within.
‘Michael, I’ve missed you so much.’
‘Amelia?’
A pair of warm hands rested against the sides of my neck and jaw. There was so much pain in her voice. So much despair.
‘I am Amelia, dear brother, but I’m not your Amelia. I’m the Amelia who lost you. The one who lost Riley. The one who lost Miriam. The one who lost mom and dad, and everyone else. But no more.’ She sobbed unexpectedly, her emerald eyes tightening. ‘Long ago – at least, long ago for me – I promised I’d tear the whole world apart for you – to protect you. To save you. And now…I’m doing just that.’
‘Amelia?’ I tried saying. ‘Sis?’
But I couldn’t speak out loud, feeling her voice fade away.
‘Because I love you, brother. I love you, Michael. So please, take care of your Amelia. Don’t let her feel this pain. Don’t let her experience this agony. Live. And protect her from this.’
I tried to reach out as her hands vanished, but was swallowed up by darkness, those emerald eyes vanishing from my sight, the universe full of emptiness.
Falling, falling, forever.
And ever.
Finally, a speck appeared in the infinite darkness, an invisible flame hovering close by – a familiarity to it, as if we were old friends reuniting.
As if…we were old friends, reuniting.
I focused on the invisible flame.
It wavered briefly, as if startled, prompting me to reach out with both unseen hands in an attempt to comfort it, despite our impending destruction – it floating in between my invisible palms.
In response to my gesture of goodwill, it began radiating gentleness, life, peace, and hope – revealing that it wasn’t as empty as it appeared.
No, it was far from empty.
It was full of life, with billions of interconnected thoughts stretching out all across the universe, like an infinite network of Life, all connected to one source – one I couldn’t comprehend.
Trying to understand what it was, the invisible flame communicated with me, sharing what it was called in two of the languages I knew.
Animarum.
Souls.
And this individual Soul specifically had a name, but it was one I couldn’t comprehend. A fathomless name, from an incomprehensible language.
In my perception, we had just met, and yet we had known each other for all of eternity, because for this Soul, time was meaningless, its existence stretching down the entire road of time, existing all at once, forever. For me, we came into contact after this particular Soul spoke with Gilgamesh. After I had been bitten.
And then we met again, and again, and again.
But for my friend, we had met multiple times, all at once. And because this Soul was my friend, responding to our mutual goodwill towards each other, it was helping me.
Guiding me.
As it had always done, staying by my side at my most terrified moments, existing with me even as I feared destruction.
But guiding me through what?
Time.
My friend was guiding me through time.
I could have found the way myself, eventually, but my dear companion was teaching me, helping me, leading m
e. Reminding me that I wasn’t alone. I didn’t have to do this on my own.
And as my friend guided me, I saw that there wasn’t a ditch beside the road. Rather, it was like there were hundreds of indistinct roads, overlapped with each other, all existing at the same time, just for a miniscule duration in the expanse of eternity. Though, out of the hundreds, it seemed as if only one was truly solid, the others somehow intangible.
My friend could see this, because time was meaningless for it. My friend could comprehend this, because it existed all at once, for all of eternity.
But now those roads were converging, merging, and my companion was guiding me to their intersection.
A brilliant light illuminated behind me, wrapping around my torso tightly, even as the Soul departed. I tried to say goodbye, but was unable to speak, unable to reach my thoughts out to communicate, the light holding me as I drifted through emptiness.
‘Michael, I love you so much,’ she sobbed.
I tried to reach up to grab her arm, to comfort her, but she rapidly vanished, disappearing from my perception.
‘Take care of me, brother. Don’t let me feel this pain again. Don’t let me experience this agony again. Live. And protect me from this.’
‘I will,’ I promised simply, sensing her presence ascend from me.
I blinked then, opening my eyes to stare into a pair of crimson irises slowly coming into focus, my arms already wrapped around her, and hers wrapped around me. Our bodies intertwined, our minds united as one.
Both of us turned our heads to look at the brilliant star illuminating the darkness, far off in the distance.
The sun, giving off warmth, light, and life.
Miriam then abruptly jerked her head towards me in confusion, asking just one simple question – an inquiry signaling a difference in our experiences.
‘The void – is it coming?’
Chapter 28: Resolution
I stared up at the midnight ceiling of our bedroom, illuminated by the stream of lava slowly undulating along the channel in the floor, the gentle tink-tink-tink sound filling the open area. The bed was actually comfortable, a layer of metal on top that was extremely malleable at this high temperature, feeling soft against my skin, though the comfort was only superficial.
Only skin deep.
Miriam had her leg draped across mine, her arm resting on my chest, with her elbow propped up, her cheek resting in her palm as she watched me with a somber expression as I stared into space. She knew I was distressed, because even though I was alive, I didn’t know what to make of my current existence.
Was this the same Miriam who I originally met?
And what about the future version of my sister? Was she alright? Did she still exist?
After realizing the destructive presence was truly gone – that the void didn’t appear to be coming after all – Miriam and I finally returned to our home, only to discover that Ruth and Ezra were still here in the castle. I would have sensed them sooner had I been paying attention. And we didn’t actually speak with them, only seeing them from a distance as we headed straight to the balcony that led directly to our room, but they were there, nonetheless.
So, I knew that the most recent time loop must have been the one that counted, but then what did that imply about everything else? Did it mean the other time loops had never existed?
What about the other versions of my beloved? The original one? Was this person, lying next to me, her?
I didn’t know.
And because I didn’t know, I couldn’t relax. I couldn’t enjoy the fact that I was still alive, or the fact that the time loop problem plaguing the universe might finally be behind us now.
Miriam of course ‘remembered’ what had happened in the previous loops, but that was only because I’d shown her all that I recalled, which was everything at this point. So, as far as I was aware, I had no way of knowing if it was really her, and that knowledge was devastating. Crushing.
It felt like someone was squeezing my chest, anxiety clawing at my heart.
‘I’m so sorry, love,’ Miriam apologized for the thousandth time, wishing she could ease my agony, but not even knowing herself if she was the original. Obviously, she felt like she was, but she was also aware that I’d met many iterations of her, all of them feeling like the real Miriam.
I knew this wasn’t fair to her. Even if she wasn’t the original, I knew it wasn’t fair to this Miriam. But part of me couldn’t help but feel like my love had died.
And it was agonizing.
However, I couldn’t keep punishing this one, acting like she didn’t matter. Or that she had less value because she might not be the exact person who I originally met. I was being selfish again.
I’d laid here long enough.
Enough was enough.
“No, love,” she replied somberly out loud. “It’s not selfish. I can understand how you feel. I can see your pain.”
I finally turned my head slightly to look up at her somber tender gaze, tears in the corners of her crimson eyes.
“I never got a chance to carve my name next to yours,” I recalled. “Not in this last time loop. We should go, so you can have that experience.”
She shook her head gently. “But I remember us doing it, and that’s enough, love.”
“No,” I disagreed, sucking in a deep breath as I sat up.
Miriam removed her arm from my chest and pushed herself up next to me.
I continued, our faces only a few inches apart, her black hair hanging on her pale shoulders. “It does matter. Because my name isn’t there right now, and it needs to be.”
She hesitated for a moment, before nodding once. “Okay, love. I just always imagined it being a happy event. And yet, both times, including this second time, will have been anything but happy.”
“I know,” I agreed sympathetically, climbing out of the malleable bed and standing up. “But if we’re going to continue living, then I think we’ll have to just try to work with what we have. I feel stuck right now, because I feel like my love is gone forever, causing me to not want to continue on, but simultaneously I would never leave you.”
Of course, she was aware of my feelings, which was why I didn’t water-it-down. I then focused on her crimson gaze intently as she climbed out of bed to stand with me.
“Not would,’ I clarified. “I could never leave you. So, I need to try to continue living. For you.”
She nodded again somberly, wrapping her arms around my waist.
We held each other for a few minutes, before leaving our room, exiting the following antechamber, and taking to the sky. Both of us felt somber as we descended to the cavern below, taking our time as we walked up the river of lava.
I paused when I sensed someone in the distance, making their way from the Ryujin capital towards our location. However, there was no guarantee they were actually heading here, and if I could sense them from this distance then it meant it was an ally – possibly Miriam’s brother, Gabriel.
Granted, she would have recognized his presence if it were him, so it must be someone else.
Still, I didn’t think it was something to worry about at this point. We at least had a handful of minutes before the person arrived, if they were even coming here.
Slowly making our way up the swelling and shifting surface, I stared at the glowing fluid, wishing I could enjoy the warmth all around me.
Unexpectedly, Miriam jerked me to a halt, her mind alarmed.
“Michael!”
But I’d already understood in her thoughts what she’d seen. My eyes snapped up as well, confused by the sight before me.
Miriam’s name carved into the rock wall…along with mine, a large heart framing the design.
In all the time loops, we had only done this one time, and it wasn’t the last time loop – the one when I helped Ruth and her son. But how was that possible?
Unless…
I focused on Miriam’s wide eyes, both of us wondering the same thing.
; “You said you could remember,” I noted.
“And, for all we know, it’s because you showed me everything you remember,” she added. “I can’t tell if there’s a difference.”
“But is there anything you remember that I wouldn’t know about? Not without you telling me?”
She thought about it for a second, really thinking hard, but the problem was that all the events leading up to reuniting with me were virtually the same.
Or more specifically, she could only recall one specific series of events, prior to our minds merging again, with her always being in the same spot as she searched desperately with her mind as a final resort, after having gone to various physical locations first.
Which would make sense considering that in all the time loops, prior to the last two times, my sister kept my mind secluded until a certain point in time – though I’d still waited to reunite with Miriam the last two loops. But that just meant, we had no way of knowing if Miriam’s memories, regarding the divergences after we had reunited, were hers or mine.
As was the nature of our intertwined thoughts.
But the fact that our names were scrawled on the wall had to mean something – or at least, I assumed. Because I was confident we hadn’t done this in the most recent loop, and Miriam had been by my side the whole time, ever since I last left this place prior to reuniting with her for the final time.
“That woman,” Miriam commented. “You didn’t tell her about this place, right?”
“No, and I don’t think she would do something like this anyway.” I focused on the engraving, debating whether it was even possible for her to mimic it so perfectly. I had been very careful when letting her in my head – she shouldn’t know about this at all.
“We should still ask her,” Miriam replied, her full lips forming a flat line. “And also inform her that the supposed deal you made with Jericho was a ruse,” she added. “That she is free to do as she wishes.”
I grimaced, knowing my love wasn’t happy that I’d unintentionally traded out having a connection with Jericho – who shouldn’t remember having ever met me – with Ruth. Though I was sure I could create many more such connections with anyone, ultimately creating my own true lineage, if I so desired, all of them having the bonds of family, even if they originated from another Original.
Demon Seer 2 Page 30
