by Ashley Munoz
She was laughing about organic bananas being more of a rip-off because they were smaller when someone walked up to us and snapped a picture. It took me by surprise, so much so that I didn’t even realize what was happening.
“Is this the guy you left your husband for?” asked a large man in a loose hoodie from behind his camera. His curly brown hair was stuffed under a beanie and his protruding nose had acne scattered across it. I wanted to punch him there just so he’d leave us the hell alone.
“No, this is my friend from high school. Please excuse us.” Faith lowered her head and moved to the side. I was about to reach for the idiot’s camera to take out his damn memory card when Faith stopped me by touching my arm. “We can’t touch their equipment…just leave it. Let’s get out of here.” Faith gave the man a glare and shouldered past him.
We walked down a few more aisles in silence, and I checked over my shoulder to be sure we weren’t being followed before I asked, “Does that happen a lot?”
It was a stupid question, because of course it did. I suddenly felt sick over doing that to her. I hated myself for putting her through that shit.
“Yeah…you get used to it after a while, but since I left Bryan, it’s been worse.” She gently picked up a box of dryer sheets and placed it in the cart.
“So, you basically don’t have any privacy?” I grabbed a thing of laundry detergent and tossed it in.
“Nope.” She let the P pop and moved down the aisle.
We finished shopping, and I thought we were out of the woods where the media was concerned, but on our way out there was an entire group of camera-wielding men and women waiting for her. As soon as the glass doors slid open, we were bombarded.
“Faith, have you moved on? Did you reunite with your old flame?” asked one red-haired woman.
“Faith, is it true what Bryan said about your addiction problem?” yelled a man with a blue visor.
Faith didn’t falter for a second. She straightened her spine and plowed through the crowd without saying a word. They followed us, continuing to yell questions and accusations at her, some aimed at me. I followed her lead, clenching my jaw in anger. I wanted to yell at all of them to fuck off, but I didn’t want to make things worse for her.
I helped Faith unload the cart into the truck, and people took pictures of it, which wasn’t ideal because now they knew what I drove. They also had a good view of all Faith’s new furnishings.
Once we were done, she tried to return the cart, but I gently grabbed her by the arm and settled her into the passenger side of the truck, shut the door, and locked it. I walked the cart back to the little return area and heard a few more comments about Bryan and Faith—about their supposed baby, their upcoming trip to Martha’s Vineyard, and if they were still doing the charity auction in England this summer.
The reality of what she’d left behind settled into my bones so deep I nearly faltered, tripping to the ground. She’d had a good life with Bryan, at least in terms of financial security. It was something I wouldn’t be able to give her…not on the level she was used to.
I climbed back into the truck and began reversing, not caring if the idiot reporters were smart enough to move or not. Faith didn’t say a word as we drove out of the city limits. I saw her swipe at her face a few times as the day waned to night. I wanted to be sure no one was following us, so I drove around aimlessly for a while. We listened to a country playlist I’d made, no news clips to interrupt us, no media or gossip for her to hear.
I just wanted her to be okay, and for the first time since letting her go, I realized she might be as broken as me.
Twenty-Two
Driving around in the cab of Jace’s truck, listening to slow country songs and getting lost in the summer breeze was everything I needed. I’d had my fair share of surprise paparazzi follow me and snap pictures at the most awkward moments, but having them bring Jace into it felt dirty, wrong, like he was somehow tainted by the poor choices I’d made all those years ago.
His words about how quickly I’d moved on ran through my mind again. They’d been on repeat for the past few days, but it was worse now that he’d come to my rescue, helping me today and then having to witness that shitshow at the grocery store. It was embarrassing.
We’d turned off onto a backroad some time ago, and I had stopped paying attention. The truck slowed as it turned down a narrow dirt road, moving along at a snail’s pace, and tall trees created a curtain of green as the headlights reflected off them. We drove for a little while until we finally slowed to a stop. Jace put his truck in park, turning his key and clicking the headlights off. We were thrust into even more darkness, and for whatever reason, I loved it.
“Don’t freak out, but we’re both exhausted and we need a reprieve from what happened back there,” Jace slowly suggested. In my ears it sounded husky and warm. The moon was out tonight, so I was slowly letting my eyes adjust and pick up the shadows and little details I could make out. “The ice we bought will keep your food for the night. I’ve got a cooler back there in the bed, so I’ll throw the perishable stuff in there,” he offered, unbuckling his seat belt.
I copied his actions but furrowed my brows in question, not fully understanding what we were doing. “Then what?”
He waited, shifting around in his seat. “Then we sleep.”
“In the truck? Out here?” I looked around, hearing my voice pitch higher.
“Well, the way I see it, they’ve pieced together who I am by now and likely have people watching my place. They’ve probably got people watching around town for you, and even if we did go back to your place, we’ve got a full truckload of apartment stuff that can’t be left overnight in that parking lot.” He reached behind the seat and pulled something free. A soft fleece blanket landed in my lap. “Out here, your stuff is safe, and no one is going to find us. As for where we’ll sleep—no, not in the truck. I thought maybe we could sleep in the house tonight.”
He didn’t give me time to argue, just hopped out and started sorting the groceries out of the back seat and into the cooler. I jumped out to help him, and we worked quickly, moving the perishables into the cooler and the dry goods to the bed of the truck, freeing up the back seat. Once we were finished, I stood there, unsure what to do next.
“If you prefer to sleep in the truck, we can. I can sleep up front and you can have the back,” Jace offered, tone somewhat awkward and nervous.
“That depends,” I said, looking back toward the dark house. It was two stories, but that was all I could really make out in the darkness. No lights were on inside, and there seemed to be a few tools scattered around the property, ladders and some tables out and ready for a slab of wood to be laid across them.
“On what?” Jace hesitantly asked, walking closer.
“On whose house this is and whether or not we’re going to get shot for trespassing tonight.”
Jace laughed and moved ahead of me. “We won’t be getting shot. This is…uhhh…” He hesitated and went quiet for a moment. “It’s mine.”
Shocked, I stopped where I stood and clung to the blanket in my arms.
“What?”
Jace stepped forward, moving ahead of me. I was losing track of him in the darkness, so I scrambled to keep up.
“Yeah, it’s not finished, but it will be soon.” He used a key from his keychain and unlocked the front door. More darkness greeted us, save for the moonlight that streaked in through the back windows.
My mouth dropped open in surprise—the place was enormous. My eyes narrowed, searching for what little details I could glean from the dark space. A massive kitchen sat snugly against the back part of the house, windows facing whatever view was out there. A gigantic room was next to it, and a small wall divided another compact space near the front door. There were stairs off to the side, leading up to where bedrooms and bathrooms probably were.
“Jace…” I was in awe of what he had done.
“It’s not too bad, I guess,” he said humbly.
I walked over and grabbed his arm. “Not bad? Jace, this is beyond incredible. Can I have a tour?”
“In the dark?” He laughed and took his hat off.
“I can use my cell phone light,” I eagerly offered, holding up my nearly dead phone.
“How about in the morning? I’m pretty tired, and I imagine you are too.” He moved away from the open space and headed toward a side door. I trailed after him. The door led to a garage, and he had his cell phone light out until he found a small space heater. He turned and led me back through the house until we were heading upstairs.
I tried to take in what I could of the space, but it was too dark to really see much. He led us toward the end of the hall, to a bedroom from the looks of it. He shut the door, which was without a doorknob, so it sat slightly ajar. As I walked around, I noticed it felt softer under my shoes and the floor was lighter up here. I kneeled down, pressing my fingers into the surface, and sure enough, the space was carpeted.
Jace walked over to an outlet and plugged in the small heater then turned to face me. “Don’t ask, but one of the crew guys was left unsupervised for the day while my contractor was out sick. He decided to put electricity and carpet in this room.” He shook his head back and forth, bending down to remove his boots. “We haven’t even painted yet, so yeah…it was a massive clusterfuck. But, it hasn’t been fixed yet, so for now it’ll work to our benefit.” He scooted back until he was resting against the wall.
I was already feeling warmer with the heater going, so I toed my shoes off too then stood there awkwardly.
“You gonna sit down?” Jace laughed, looking up at me. I shifted from foot to foot.
“Yeah, it’s just that…uh, could you turn around or something?”
He let out a laugh. “I can’t see you as it is. Why, you gettin’ naked?”
A nervous laugh slipped free as I tried to control my shivering. It was warmer in here, but it was still cold. “No, I just have to take my bra off. This one I’m wearing is all kinds of uncomfortable.”
“Plus, you have that theory,” Jace said, adjusting his back into the corner.
I turned my back to him and began unhooking my bra from under my shirt as I laughed at his remembering my theories.
“The wiring messes with the shape of your boobs, right?” Jace laughed from behind me.
I pulled the bra through the sleeve of my shirt. “All I know is it seems unnatural to sleep in anything but your skin.”
“Does that include clothes too?” Jace rasped with heat in his voice.
“Sometimes,” I joked, getting on all fours and dragging the blanket closer to the heater. “How did you want to do this tonight?” I asked, lifting the blanket like an offering.
He leaned forward and pulled his sweatshirt off, up over his head. Folding it a few times, he stuffed it behind his head. “I’ll sleep in this corner, and you can sleep there in front of the heater.”
I let out a sigh and offered him the blanket. “Truce, for one night?”
I couldn’t make out his face, but he sounded amused when he asked, “What do you mean exactly?”
“You use that sweatshirt as a pillow, spoon me, and let me use your arm as a pillow, that way we’re warm and both covered by the blanket?” My voice pitched with question even though I was trying to make a statement. My fingers twitched.
My offer was greeted with silence…awkward, heavy silence. I was about to move and lie down, ignoring him, when I heard, “A truce sounds good.”
He lay down behind me ever so carefully, his back up against the wall. I tugged the heater a bit closer and swallowed the fat lump of anxiety in my throat while cautiously adjusting my body until I was lying prone in front of him.
His large arms came around me, caging me in, until we were spooning. I held my breath for a second, until I heard his rumbling voice say, “Want me to let you go and find somewhere else to put my arms?”
I shook my head, because his arms were warm, and they felt good. So right.
“It’s okay,” I whispered.
The silence was somewhat stifling, but it was also peaceful. I closed my eyes, ready to drift off to the rhythm of his rising and falling chest, but reopened them when he asked, “Do you miss it?”
I pressed my lips together and watched the shadows dance across the moonlit wall.
“That life, the money…do you miss being rich, having everything you could ever dream of?” His husky voice rumbled in my ear, making goose bumps erupt down my arms from how close his lips were.
“Not at all actually. I hated that life. Maybe if I’d had it with the right person, but still…it was exhausting.” I yawned, feeling more and more drained by the second.
He kept still behind me, but I swore I could feel him tighten his hold on me.
“You ever going to tell me what happened after I left?” I muttered, sinking further into his firm chest.
His torso moved behind me as he situated his body again, this time bringing one of his hands to my hip. “Well you know my mom died while I was in jail…”
I nodded, irritated that he wouldn’t just explain the entire story to me. “Yes, but what put you in jail? What on earth happened?” I urged him on.
“It’s a complicated story…” He heaved a heavy sigh then changed the subject. “When did he start hitting you?” Jace’s voice was so soft, so tender it made my eyes water.
I was at war internally about my response. My heart thrashed in my chest and all I wanted to do was tell him, but a part of me still wanted to keep a few things hidden. He’d abandoned me and now he wanted me to talk about the abuse I’d endured with my husband?
I shifted in his arms to get more comfortable, and I unintentionally brushed up against something hard at my back. I froze, wide-eyed and a little surprised. I slowly pulled forward, not sure what to do.
He laughed behind me and pulled me back against him. “Sorry…looks like I can’t hide what it does to have you with me like this. Don’t worry though, I’m not going to try anything.”
For whatever reason, that turned me molten. My face flushed as arousal and memories flushed my body. He was hard for me when we hadn’t even done anything, hadn’t kissed or touched…I mean, I was lying back against him, but still.
I cleared my throat, determined to move past the awkwardness. “It was about ten months ago.” His arms tightened around me as I began to open up. “He…he had these big business deals that were falling through left and right. He’d lost millions, and he was stressed.” My explanation was choppy and awkward.
Jace started rubbing my arms, dragging his palms up and down my bare skin. After a few times of him doing that, my t-shirt had ridden up, exposing the skin on my abdomen. I blinked, trying to focus on my next words.
“We’d been distant much longer than that…to the point where I started sleeping in another room. I think a part of me wanted him to cheat on me, just get it over with so we could divorce and be done with it.” I dipped my head, feeling shame flicker inside. “I should have left him within the first year. He knew…” I paused, not sure I wanted to reveal this part of the story.
Jace placed a careful kiss to the back of my ear, silently urging me on.
“He knew about you…knew I wasn’t over you. He knew it when he proposed and when we said our vows. I’d never kept it from him, but it strained things once we were married. After the first year, things between us just fizzled and faded. He worked constantly and I slowly became a shell of who I once was. So, I essentially set up my own room, slept separately from him…we hadn’t been intimate in months when he started hitting me.”
I whispered my confession, feeling my resolve begin to crumble. Explaining this to Jace was horrible and the worst kind of absolution. It felt good to talk about my life with someone, and it felt good to have someone care.
“He came home one night, drunk…started talking about you…about how he didn’t want to be my second choice anymore, how he wanted to sleep in the same bed at night and
for me to be his wife again. He kissed me hard, pushed me against a wall, and then…”
I held my breath, not wanting to relive it.
“That’s enough,” Jace whispered breathlessly against my ear. Pain reverberated in his tone, sinking into my chest.
His arms were like a band of steel around me.
I watched the darkness, seeing nothing but, for the first time in a long time, feeling entirely safe. Warm air hit my skin as Jace began to mutter something, but I was so exhausted I didn’t hear all of it. The only thing I caught was “…mistake and should have never done it…” Then I was asleep in the arms of the one man who’d hurt and somehow healed me.
Twenty-Three
Early morning light cut through the window above me, the reflection hitting me right in the eyes. It woke me and brought back the entire evening in one harsh moment, reminding me of the reckless thing I had asked the night before, about the abuse…to hear Faith talk about her life with another man. Thankfully she hadn’t been able to see my face, I’d hid it—or at least I had tried to.
It wasn’t easy to picture her with another man, but it was worse picturing her being forced and beaten. I’d lain awake for hours, with her sleeping silently in front of me. I had debated telling her the whole story, about why I left her, why we ended. Apprehension had stalled me, and when I’d heard her soft breathing and felt her go lax in my arms, I had let it go.
Faith was quietly snoring against my chest, hair mussed, shirt pulled taut against her chest. Her pert nipples showed through the fabric, and the blanket pooled at her waist. I was already rock hard against her, painfully so, and this just made it one hundred times worse.
I tried not to watch the rise and fall of her chest, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away. They kept going to the curve of her breasts on their own. My arms tightened, my fingers desperate to find purchase somewhere on her skin. I was battling this silent war when Faith stirred, opening her eyes.
