Love, Lust & Friendship

by Elizabeth Stevens

  “Were you about to…do something?” I asked, just wanting to act normal again.

  He shook his head. “Nope. Just grabbing my phone charger.”

  “Ah. Well, if you still wanted to… That is, I can meet–”

  “Ads?”

  “Yeah?”

  Topher looked like he was trying not to frown. “You okay?” he asked and I nodded. “This okay? We’re okay?”

  I nodded again. “Yeah. Yeah, we’re fine.”

  “If we’re fine, why are you being weird?”

  “Why aren’t you being weird?”

  He shrugged. “Because there’s nothing to be weird about. I got the girl. From where I’m sitting, I win.”

  And, suddenly, I was feeling a little less weird because I was the girl. I was actually the girl to someone. And, there was the added bonus of it being a someone I wanted to be the girl to. “You win? Where does that leave me, then?”

  He walked towards me and my chest did that thing again. It was getting to the point that I was hoping if this thing became a bigger thing then that weird excited, nervous, going-to-fall-over-my-own-feet-while-not-even-moving feeling would go away, or at least ease up and let me keep a tighter control of my brain.

  “Well,” he said, a smile on his face that told me he knew the effect he was having on me. “I’d hope it left you up on the winner’s podium with me.”

  “Because I won what? You?”

  He was trying to fight a smile. “I would never be so presumptuous–”

  “No, of course not,” I teased.

  He huffed a laugh and put his hands on my hips. “But, I’d like to think that’s how it worked, yeah.”

  I leant into him as a fluttery warmth ran through me. “Why? Because the girl has to pine after the boy and worship the ground he walks on? How very old-fashioned of you.”

  He chuckled. “Why not? Why shouldn’t she feel the same way he does?”

  Wait. What? “You pine after me?”

  “Well, saying I worship the ground you walk on is far too cheesy…”

  I snorted. “What?”

  He shrugged almost self-deprecatingly as he looked behind me. “I like you, Ads. I mean, I really like you. I didn’t know what it was until I found myself kissing you and now I feel like I can’t stop smiling.”

  I couldn’t really do much more than just look at him. I didn’t know what to say to that. Part of me agreed – I felt that way, too – and part of me was confused. And, unlike last time, I didn’t just randomly blurt out what I was thinking thankfully. When I did open my mouth, Topher grinned and I paused.

  “It’s fine,” he said, cupping my cheek. “I didn’t expect you to say anything back.”

  “I just…” I stopped as he shook his head.

  “No expectations, remember? I’m just happy that I get to do this,” he leant down and kissed me softly, “and no one else does.”

  “Yeah. Me, too.” I looked down so he didn’t see the embarrassing blush that warmed my cheeks.

  He tipped my chin up to face him. “We good?”

  I nodded. “We good.” I mentally rolled my eyes at myself. “We’re good.”

  “Good. Hungry?”

  I shook my head, finding I wasn’t so much now. “Not really. How long will dinner take?”

  “Dunno. Want to go investigate and watch something?”

  “Yeah, I’d like that.” I held my hand out for his and, after a hint of pleasant surprise, he took it and we headed downstairs.

  “Do you know what Aunt Jelly left?” he asked.

  “Nup,” I replied, thinking it was really nice to just hold his hand. It was warm and weirdly heavy. Not bad heavy, but like… I didn’t really know how to explain it except I liked it and it felt right.

  As we went for the fridge, I walked in front of him by accident and he nearly ran into me. His hands went to my waist as he laughed and nudged me along.

  “Sorry…” I said, rolling my eyes at myself.

  He wrapped his arms around my stomach and leant his cheek on my head. “You just finding excuses for me to touch you, Sonny?”

  I lay my arms over his. “Somehow, I don’t think I need to find excuses, Ranger Dan.”

  “Really, why is that?”

  “I’m willing to bet I could say, ‘Toph, touch me,’ and you’d be more than happy to oblige,” I giggled as he ducked his nose to my ear and it tickled.

  “Well, you’re not wrong,” he murmured, hugging me tighter and I honest to God could not have stopped smiling if I’d wanted to.

  Topher finally let go and put the casserole dish in the oven – all Aunt Jelly casseroles were well-known to go in the oven on the ‘on’ setting (also known as 180C) for two hours – and took my hand again before pulling me into the living room.

  “What do you want to watch?” he asked. “I hear terrible rom-coms are on the table?”

  I giggled and we fought for a bit over what movie to watch, but I was pretty sure it was all for show on Topher’s part and I just wanted to see if I could get him to cave. By the time we got through the movie, dinner was ready and we started another while we ate.

  After we’d finished eating, we hit pause, Topher took our plates back into the kitchen, and I checked I hadn’t heard anything from Ander.

  I’d been surprised how easy it was just hanging out with Topher. Sometimes we held hands, sometimes he put his arm around me, and sometimes we elbowed each other just to be annoying. It all felt surprisingly natural. A different sort of natural than spending time with Ander, but natural all the same.

  “Okay, do we need anything else before we continue?” he asked, coming back in.

  “I want to say popcorn, but I’m so full.”

  He laughed. “I’ll put that on the to-do list for later,” he said, dropping back down next to me.

  “How about a kiss, then?” I asked.

  He pretended to think about it. “Oo… I think I could manage that. What do I get out of it, though?” he teased.

  I nudged him. “You get to kiss me.”

  “Oh, my favourite.” He wrinkled his nose at me totally adorably and leant in to kiss me.

  I hadn’t meant it to be anything more than a kiss. But, I got completely caught up in the feel of him again. Before I knew it, I was lying down, with him over me and I knew without a doubt that this was what all the fuss was about. I was also pretty sure that I was going to sleep with Topher, it was just a matter of when. But, his aunt’s couch was not the time or the place.

  “Woah. Warning when you’ve got girls over, Christopher!” Aunt Jelly yelled and Topher jumped away from me to nearly the other side of the couch.

  God, she’d got inside and turned on the light and we hadn’t noticed. I sat up and closed my eyes, my cheeks flushing burning heat. How long had we been making out, anyway?

  “Dude, come one, we’ve… Holy shit! Addy?”

  “Hey, Aunt Jel…” I started, slowly opening one eye and looking at her, just waiting for the inevitable.

  “Ah…” She looked between us uncertainly. “I’m not dreaming, am I? I did just walk into my house and find my nephew and his little brother’s best friend making out on the couch?”

  “Come on, when you put it like that…” Topher started, giving her a look that I didn’t understand, but I’m sure she did.

  Aunt Jelly pointed at him. “No, no. There is no ‘put it like that’. I’m gonna put it exactly as it is. She’s Lex’s best friend, Christopher. She means the world to this family. She’s been in your life since you moved here. What the hell were you thinking?”

  “Hang on. Why is this my fault?” he asked, in my mind rightly indignant; I was just as capable of making poor decisions as Topher.

  “How do you think Lex would feel if he’d come home, not me?”

  “He’s not thrilled,” I muttered. “But, he said he’d give us warning so he didn’t walk in on anything.”

  Aunt J
elly’s mouth dropped open but she didn’t say anything. Then, her butt dropped onto the chair and she stared at us. Finally, “He knows?” managed to work its way out of her mouth.

  I nodded. “He knows. I talked to him first. Of course I talked to him first.”

  “You talked to him…” she breathed, nodding like she was having trouble processing. “So, you’re dating now?”

  Topher and I shared a look.

  “Sort of?” I tried.

  “Try again,” Aunt Jelly said carefully, like she could read my mind.

  “We’re taking it slow, Aunt Jel. I didn’t want to…rush into anything.”

  “I did ask her out properly.”

  “I didn’t say yes.”

  Aunt Jelly looked between us again. “Oh… So, when we had the sex talk…?” She pointed between me and Topher with a questioning look and I flushed again. Which only intensified when Topher snorted.

  “Shut it,” I warned him.

  “No,” he chuckled. “I’m not saying anything.”

  “Keep it that way.”

  Aunt Jelly stood up. “Okay, so I am going to go upstairs and put on some music and I am not going to bother you. You guys do whatever you…” She paused and looked to the ceiling. “Nope. Not going there.” With a huff, she looked back at us. “I’ll see you two in the morning. Behave. Night, my loves.”

  I waved at her as Topher said, “Night,” then took my hand when she was gone. “So, you were talking to my aunt about sex?”

  I’d intended to give him the death glare, but the smile on his face was infectious. “Shut up.”

  “Oh, no,” he laughed. “I’d be really interested to hear this, Addy.”

  I rolled my eyes at him. “You already know I want to sleep with you, Toph…sometime.”

  “I just didn’t know you’d put that much thought into it.”

  “I hadn’t at the time.”

  “But, now?”

  “But, now I’ve thought about it more.”

  “Okay.”

  “What? That’s it?”

  “What were you expecting me to say?” he laughed.

  “I don’t know. Some great innuendo? An offer to go up to your room now? Something more than ‘okay’.”

  He shrugged, a wry smile tugging on his lips. “Why? If and when you’re ready, I assume you’ll manage to find some way to let me know.”

  “Oh, do you now?”

  “Yes. You’re usually pretty vocal about stuff when you want to be. I can’t think of a single time you refrained from telling me just what you thought about something.”

  “Uh huh. And, just how do people usually announce they’re ready for sex?”

  “Well, usually, ‘I’d like to have sex with you’ works pretty well.”

  “Does it? And, you know this from experience, do you?”

  “No. How about I try it now?” He shuffled closer to me, bending his knee up to face me. “Hey, Ads?”

  “Yeah, Toph?” I laughed.

  “I’d like to have sex with you.”

  I nodded, a huge smile on my face. “Okay. Good to know.”

  “See? It’s easy.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” I told him as my phone went off and I reached for it.

  “Lex?” he asked, settling back on the couch.

  I unlocked my phone as I sat back against him, his arm on the back behind me. “Yep. He says hurry up with whatever we’re doing because he’s on his way home.”

  Topher snorted, his nose dipping to my hair. “Right. And, what did you tell him we were doing?”

  “I didn’t tell him we were doing anything. But, he seems to think we’re boning like rabbits or something.”

  “Does Lex not grasp the concept of taking things slow…? Or…?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Topher reached for the remote and hit play again. “You’ve gotta love my brother.”

  “You really do.”

  He chuckled and kissed my hair.

  We just hung out, watching the movie, until we heard Ander yelling from the front door, “I don’t want to see anything!”

  “Then, shut up or you’ll wake Aunt Jelly up, you dork,” Topher hissed as he put some noticeable distance between us and turned to his brother.

  Ander poked his head around the doorway. “Aunt Jel’s home?”

  Topher nodded. “Yeah.”

  Ander grinned. “Cool. What are we watching?”

  “Sit down, you knob, and come see,” Topher said, fondly exasperated.

  This time, Ander didn’t try to sit between us. He just dropped beside me and I snuggled into him for a bit while the three of us watched movies.

  Chapter Seventeen

  I groaned as I read the message again, my fingers hovering over the screen as I tried to work out how to reply.

  “What’s up?” Ander asked.

  “Dinner tonight.”

  “Ew.”

  “Dad promised he’d be there.”

  “That…will be both better and worse…”

  “Thanks for that gem of wisdom, there, Yoda.”

  “No worries.” He grinned and I shook my head. “You going?”

  I shrugged. “I should see Dad. And, if I get it out of the way, then it’s done.”

  “But, Sonya.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay, options?”

  “Um… I go and witness the fighting but get to see Dad. Or, I don’t go and get barrages of messages telling me how much of a disappointment I am.”

  “Ah, but at least we’re disappointments together.”

  I laughed. “That we are.”

  “I guess you’ll have to go, then?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I guess so.”

  “What are you going to wear?”

  “I thought clothes were a good start.”

  “Yeah. I mean, it’s not a first date, is it? Or, even the fourth.”

  I snorted. “No. That it isn’t.”

  “Toph was fine with your choice of pyjama pants and my hoody last night?”

  “I didn’t stop to ask him what he thought of it. Should I care?”

  “Well, I’m supposed to care what she thinks.”

  I shrugged. “Has she seen you at your absolute worst for the last like ten years?”

  He stopped to think about it. “No. Well, I hope not.”

  “I like how you didn’t disagree about the whole ‘worst’ bit.”

  He sniggered. “Yeah…”

  “You suck, babe.”

  “You love me.”

  “I do.”

  “You know I’m here for you if you need.”

  I nodded. “I know. Thanks. It’ll probably be easier if I just get it over with.”

  “No worries. I get it,” he said as his phone went off. He looked at it and I couldn’t tell what was going through his mind. “I’ll…be back in a sec.” And, he disappeared outside as he answered it.

  I pulled my own phone out to while away the however long he was going to take. We hadn’t talked about his ‘date’ except that he said he thought it went well and he’d had a good time. Likewise, we didn’t talk about my ‘date’ at all. Not that there was anything to tell; Ander didn’t want to know I’d decided that kissing his older brother was definitely what all the fuss was about or that it was only a matter of time before I had sex with him.

  That was a weird feeling; knowing I wanted to do it with this guy but not being quite ready to jump straight into the sack. At least, it made me feel like I’d put enough thought into it. Whether that was right or wrong, or I was right or wrong, I didn’t know.

  I jumped as I felt hands on my waist and a kiss on my cheek, and heard a recognisable, “Hey,” in my ear.

  “Hey yourself,” I said, leaning back into him a little.

  “Where’s Lex?”

  “His secret girlfriend called so he’s out back.”

  “An
y idea how long we have?”

  I laughed. “For what?”

  “For whatever we can fit in before he’s back.”

  I turned so I was facing him. “You’re an idiot.”

  “That’s not the first time you’ve said that. I might start to believe it.”

  “Your arrogance wouldn’t let that…” My smile fell as I looked at the message that had just come through on my phone.

  “What’s up?”

  “Have I got a face thing going on again?”

  He tucked my hair back. “Something like that. Anything I can do?”

  I shook my head. “No. Thanks. Dad’s home and they want to do dinner.”

  “Ah. You sure I can’t do anything? Come with you?”

  I looked up at him sharply. “What?”

  He shrugged. “What? Sort of dating. I guess I sort of thought that meant I was there for you if you needed anything.”

  I smiled at him. “Don’t feel obliged, Toph. It’s fine.”

  “I don’t feel obliged, Ads. I want to. If you’re good going alone, cool. But, I’m here for you if you need me, because I want to be.”

  I searched his face, not quite sure what I was looking for. But, whatever I found, I liked it.

  “You’d come to dinner with my family for me?” I asked him.

  He nodded. “If you wanted me to. Sonya loves me. I figure it might take some pressure off while you see your Dad and your brothers?”

  “And, what are they going to think when we turn up together?”

  “Who cares?”

  “Me. I care. I care what my highly dysfunctional family is going to think when I bring Christopher Henderson home for dinner.”

  He wrapped his arms around my back. “Tell them I followed you home.”

  I snorted. “I swear, your cheesiness level is rising.”

  “I can’t help it. You just do something to me.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Oh, and it gets better!”

  He laughed. “I could go back to being a dillweed?”

  “I don’t think you ever stopped.”

  “Fine.” He was still smiling. “I can go back to being a jerk, if you’d prefer.”

  “Oh, can you? I miss that guy.”

  He grumbled as he pulled me close and dipped his nose to my neck and my arms went around him. As he chuckled, his breath tickled me and my chest felt like something skittered through it and left me with a happy.