by Mahi Mistry
He clenched his jaw, trying to hide his anger, and swallowed the lump in his throat. “When you get ready, come and join us. I made Italian hot chocolate for you.”
I gave him a small smile and watched him walk out of the door, closing it shut. I sighed and looked at my almost empty room. All the boxes were still there, as I had been way too busy to move them to Jake’s house, and I was thankful for that. At least I wouldn’t have to face him again.
But where am I going to go?
Changing into sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt, I combed my wet hair and wondered about all the apartments I had looked through when I came back to San Diego. Maybe some of them are still empty? I shook my head. That was a fool’s wish. Looking at my tired reflection, I decided. I would only mope around for two days at the most. Then I would start looking for apartments because I didn’t want Anya Wu to let me stay here as long as I wanted, because I knew she would do that. No, I would find a way, I wouldn’t let this breakup affect me.
I was lying. It affected me too much.
After stuffing my face with pizza with Anya, Andrew and Ethan, we all had Italian hot chocolate for dessert and watched a mafia action movie with me sobbing and whining at the heroine who fell for the mob boss just because he saved her life from a bullet. Ethan had to calm me down while Andrew Wu asked his mom what was wrong with me.
I started crying all over again. But this time it was ugly sobbing, and my body shook and trembled so hard that I puked out my dinner in the toilet.
Ethan held my hair, stroking my back. “It’s okay, Bella. Get it out. It’s alright.”
My friend checked up on me when I brushed my teeth and handed me aspirin, ordering me to go to sleep. I did it without arguing because I was exhausted and my body felt numb. Ethan stayed by my side, flipping pages of my book in my desk chair and glancing at me every five minutes just to make sure I was there. I don’t know how I managed to tell him to cuddle with me, but he did.
My heart calmed down when I laid my head on his chest, his arm wrapped around me and gently rubbing my back, soothing me. Taking a deep breath, I peered up at his face, “Ethan, why are you so nice to me?”
He furrowed his brows at me. “What do you mean?”
I licked my lips and looked away from him. “I left you. I chose myself over our relationship and yet you are . . . here. Why don’t you hate me?”
He didn’t reply for a while, and his heartbeat increased under my palm. He cupped my face and made me look at him, his blue-green eyes intense.
“I can never hate you, Bella. You would do the same if I were in your place.” He paused and gave me a small smile, “And you are my best friend.”
Hearing those words did something weird to my stomach. I grinned and kissed his palm, tucking my head in his chest. Ethan was asleep with his arm loosely wrapped around my waist when I thought about all the events that happened that day.
I knew that I needed to stay away from any close romantic relationships. Either I would hurt that person, or that person would end up hurting me. It wasn’t worth it for all the pain and hurt. All I wanted was to feel normal again without having any romantic feelings for anyone at all. I needed to be stronger than before and not fall for it. I don’t want anyone to hurt me like that again.
Like Paul had when we were thirteen. Like the passing of my mom, my family pushing me away, and leaving Ethan when I was eighteen. Like how Jake hid being a father. I won’t allow it anymore. I will be stronger even though I have to keep people at arm’s length.
I clutched my heart, curling into a ball, the void getting bigger and bigger, and fell asleep with warm tears staining my pillow.
“I want your baby.”
Kiara moved into the guest room I had offered. She was stubborn, but I was persistent, and the school was much closer to my house. We had agreed on her paying the rent for her stay until she found a place of her own. I didn’t mind. She could stay as long as she wanted.
For the next week, I helped her move into the room next door while she helped me with the school stuff. Being a swim coach to kids was fun and stressful. I loved to teach them new swim strokes, but I had to stay on my toes all the time. Still, I enjoyed it.
But what I didn’t enjoy was seeing Kiara in tight dresses or formal pants every day. When she turned to grab the mug from the cabinet, I couldn’t help my eyes when they fell down to her tight ass in the form-fitting trousers or skirts. I closed my eyes and mentally groaned when I felt a twitch in my sweatpants.
Not now, Eiffel. Stay down.
I came back from the gym and saw Kiara making eggs and bacon for both of us. I tried to avoid seeing her in the morning because I had to take a cold shower and stop my mind from thinking about her or her body. She didn’t need to know about my cold showers and what I did in them.
It had been a month since she called off her wedding.
The wedding that was supposed to happen today.
I cleared my throat and thanked her for breakfast. We had fallen into our usual routine of making breakfasts for each other. We rarely had lunch together as she would either be in the school or have a lunch date with Anya and Katherine. She invited me, but I would either have photoshoot gigs or swim practice that I couldn’t miss. We would either cook dinner together or order takeout and watch a movie on the couch with beers.
It almost felt like old times.
Almost because when she would lean over me to grab the remote of the television while we are on the couch, I would feel the brush of her chest on my arm and mentally groan every time I saw the cleavage from her t-shirt. Then I would eat the dinner with a pillow on my lap while she critiqued the main characters of the movie.
“What is your plan for tonight?” I asked, eating up the last part of my eggs.
She looked at me, her amber eyes seemed distracted and her lips were in a sad frown. I clenched the fork. She was still not over him. That stupid jerk who decided it was a good idea to hide that he has a son. I hated him when he made Bella cry in the hallway and thought she would accept him after hiding such a big thing.
“Why? It’s a usual weekday.” Her voice was clipped.
I reached for her hand and held it. When she looked at me, her eyes were guarded, but she let me rub my thumb on her pulse point.
“How about we have some Indian cuisine tonight? Panner Butter Masala with tandoori naan?”
Her eyes lit up and a small smile tugged her lips, “You want to have Indian tonight?”
“Mmhmm. I will cook.”
Her eyebrows raised, “You will cook Indian?”
“I may or may not have taken some cooking classes after university,” I brushed my lips on her knuckles, noticing the sharp intake of breath. The thin white blouse tightened across her chest and I forced myself to think about sharks. “So, it’s a deal. Tonight, Chef Ethan will cook for you.”
Kiara squeezed my hand. “You don’t have to do all this, Ethan. I will help you with dinner.”
She kissed my cheek before taking her handbag and walking out of the house. I sat there, staring at the empty stool where she had been sitting a few moments ago. I touched my flushed cheek where I could feel the slight pressure of her lips.
My skin burned, and I didn’t regret thinking about her in the shower. On her knees. Using those same full lips and soft hands on me, making me groan with pleasure. I let my mind wander and think about all the dirty things I would do to her and her body if I had the chance to be with her, even for a night.
Would she like being spanked? Being told when to come and not? Would she like being punished by me if she came in my hands or mouth without my permission? Would she like being clamped, padded, and tied up naked for me?
I came with a low groan, my sharp breath panting on the cold wall. My hand was still lazily stroking my cock, and I glared down at the mess I had made. I should not think about all that. It was Kiara. My best friend. The woman I have loved. Even if she was attracted to me physically, I didn’t know if she was into the ki
nks I enjoyed. She was kinky, I knew that, but times have changed.
I need to stop thinking about her. No matter what.
“Since when do you have biceps?” Kiara smiled giddily and poked the said bicep she was smiling giddily at.
I didn’t expect a very tipsy Kiara while I was preparing dinner. The taxi driver was nice enough to ring the bell and let me know about a very drunk woman who was whining about men for the past twenty minutes. I didn’t expect that. Sure, she must be bummed about the breakup, but she had been nothing but calm and collected after the day she called the marriage off and handed Jake her ring.
She must have reached her breaking point.
I helped her in, ignoring the way her breasts covered by a thin blouse pressed against my arm. She watched me cut vegetables for the Panner Butter Masala and ogled at me. Trust me, neither I, nor Eiffel minded the ogling and the casual lingering touches from her, but she was drunk.
“I looooooooove your becups, Ethan!” She hiccupped and continued trailing her finger on my right bicep.
My Bella is a horny drunk.
I sighed, and holding her wrist, made her sit down on the stool. “They’re called biceps, Kiara.” She kept looking at me with her half-lidded hooded brown eyes. “How much did you drink?”
“Sixty-nine.”
“What?”
She licked her lips and took a long time doing that. My eyes fell on her plump lips. I clenched my jaw and looked away.
“I want to try sixty-nine.”
Yes, she was definitely horny. And drunk.
I ignored the images of sixty-nine with her and straightened up. “You’re coming with me.” I didn’t wait for her to reply and helped her in the bathroom, turning on the warm bath for her while she leaned on the frame of the door.
“Get inside.”
“You first.”
“No, Bella. You need to take a bath. It will clear up your head.”
An adorable pout framed her lips, her amber eyes looking up at me from beneath her lashes. “Won’t you join me?” Her voice was barely a whisper, but I felt it deep within my skin. I wanted to join her. Fuck.
She is drunk.
My eyes darkened, and I stepped closer to her. “I would have thought about it if you weren’t drunk right now.”
Kiara stubbornly pressed closer to me, her hands clutching the side of my t-shirt, scrunching the fabric. “I am not drunk. I just need to feel you. Skin to skin,” she whispered sultrily, her eyes darkening with lust. “And maybe try sixty-nine.”
I closed my eyes. This is the worst torture for mankind. I could try to handle Kiara, but a horny, drunk Kiara? No chance. With as much control as I could muster, I held her shoulder and turned her toward the bath.
“Get undressed and take a bath. I will check up on you in a while.”
“Why don’t you help undress me?”
I glared at her and said with a firm voice, “Kiara. Get in the bath. Now.”
She seemed stunned by this and blinked at me. Kiara giggled, “Whatever you say, Daddy.”
I gaped at her and her words. She did not just—Kiara turned her back on me and removed her blouse, her wavy hair tumbling over the nude bra strap. Okay, this is my cue. I quickly backed out of the bathroom and closed the door behind me, breathing a sigh of relief.
Somehow, I knew tonight was going to be a long night.
As promised, I went to check up on Kiara when she didn’t step out of the bath after half an hour. I had already prepared the sabzi, and the naan was ready as well. All we had to do was serve it and eat. But Kiara was still in the bath. I knocked and waited. She didn’t reply, so I called her name, but still, she didn’t reply. Should I let her take her time? She seemed sad before leaving for school today.
What if she is not okay and sad?
Fuck it.
I opened the bathroom door and walked inside. Kiara was in the bathtub, but she was naked and wet. I felt like a teenager looking at breasts for the first time, even though her body was covered under the foamy water.
“Oh. I knocked, but you didn't say anything; and it had been too long, so I wondered if I should check up on you,” I rambled like a complete idiot.
Way to go, Ethan.
Kiara’s eyes seemed brighter than before, and she looked a little better. She pursed her lips, her wet hair clung to her wet skin.
She smiled at me, not at all bothered by my presence. “It’s alright, Ethan. I loved the bath and found it too relaxing to get out of it. I’m sorry, I lost the track of time.” Kiara blushed, the water in the bath splashing when she moved. It took all the control in me not to avert my eyes from her face.
“It’s fine, I’ll leave you to it,” I said, my voice deep and husky.
“Oh, no. I am done with the bath, I was about to get out, anyway.”
My eyebrows raised when I noticed the subtle change in her tone, and my lips fell open when Kiara stood up from the bath. Her naked body dripped wet with water as she stepped out of it and walked toward me. I couldn't help but watch her perky breasts pouting toward me with her hard nipples as they bounced a little with each soft step she took. Her stomach was taut, and her body was toned and curvy in all the right places. I wanted to touch and lick every part of her golden, soft skin.
“Kiara,” I warned, my voice heavy with arousal.
I clenched and unclenched my fists while I watched her dry her naked body with a towel. If I could, I would get rid of the useless towel and eat her out against the wall while she writhed in my arms, moaning my name and begging me to make her come in my mouth. But I wouldn’t for her teasing me like that.
“What, Ethan?” she asked in her sultry, mischievous voice, teasing me with a dirty glint in her eyes. “It’s not like you haven’t seen this before.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to control myself from pouncing on her like a wild beast. God, this woman made me lose the ability to think straight.
Shaking my head, I pinned her with my gaze and gritted out, “Dinner is ready.”
I turned and left her in the bathroom. In the kitchen, I gulped down a glass of cold water. The images of her wet naked body flashed in my mind. If she kept teasing me like that, then I would have no choice but to give in. I shook my head. No, she thinks she has the upper hand here, but not again. I have much more self-control than she thinks I do.
Kiara had dinner with me, and she was much more sober than before. She tried her best not to meet my eyes or even look at my face, hiding hers with the curtain of her damp hair.
Did she regret pulling that stunt in the bathroom?
“Kiara, what happened back there?” I asked when she loaded our empty plates in the dishwasher.
She pursed her lips and her shoulders tensed. “I am sorry I flirted with you like that. I wasn’t thinking straight.”
I would have accepted her statement, but her voice was too firm and sounded too robotic.
Holding her elbow, I made her face me, her eyes guarded. “What happened back there?”
She parted her lips to reply, but I said, “Be honest.”
Kiara paused and gazed up at me, her dark eyes softening. “I am sorry, Ethan. I can’t play being your best friend or even have a platonic relationship with you.”
My face must have shown how hurt I was after she said that. I took a step back, but she shook her head, taking my palm in her hand. “No, Ethan, listen to me. I am apologizing to you because as much as I want to be your friend or go back to how we were, I can’t do it. I loved you. You were my first . . . everything.”
“What are you trying to say, Bella?” I whispered, pulling her closer, the pulse on her neck beating faster. “Why can’t you be my friend?”
“Because I am still attracted to you.”
Time slowed down, and my ears rang with her confession. Because I am still attracted to you. Kiara Sharma, my Bella, was attracted to me.
I could see her brain turning, her dark brown eyes looking up at me and waiting for my repl
y. I released the breath I was holding and said, “Come visit my parents.”
“What?”
“Yes, Bella. Come visit my parents. Eveline. Tomorrow.”
“Ethan, I just told you I am—”
“I heard you, Kiara.” Pushing her back on the island, I caged her with my body and made her feel the bulge in my sweatpants. Her rosy lips parted, my muscles clenching and fighting the urgent need to kiss her and take her on the kitchen floor.
“I am attracted to you as well, Kiara.”
Before I could go any further, I pulled away. “But I want to take this slow. Come meet my parents and Eveline with me tomorrow.”
I didn’t wait for her reply and walked to my room, closing the door. I might have been pushing her a little, but I wanted her to know that this was serious for me. I was either all in or not at all. I was more than attracted to Kiara Sharma, but this time, I wanted to play all my cards right. I wanted her to spend time with my family, take her on a date, and kiss her when the date was over.
The next morning, silence filled the car ride to my parents with a very fidgeting Kiara. I would glance at her every two minutes because she looked gorgeous in a peach summer dress, her tan skin glowing and begging for my touch. Even though she had agreed, she was holding the seat belt and clutching her handbag. At one point, she even made a low braid with her hair because she couldn’t sit still.
“Are you okay, Bella?”
“I am perfectly fine and not at all nervous.”
I smiled. I couldn’t wait till she saw my moms and Evey.
As I had expected, my moms took Kiara in a big hug with tears in their eyes while Eveline stared at her the same way when Cinderella from Disney World took a picture with her. Not a single minute had gone by, and my family already accepted Kiara back with open arms and cookies.
We had sat down for lunch and were piling our plates with food when my mom looked at me and Kiara who was sitting beside me. I raised my eyebrow at her when she glanced at her ring finger. Before I could tell her to not ask about it, my mom smiled at Kiara.
