by Mahi Mistry
“Any questions?” I asked, trying to ignore the way Ethan was looking at me from his side. Throughout the whole thing, I had felt his heavy gaze on me, warming my skin, but I had tried my best to stay professional and not let him affect me.
But I was failing badly. If I could, I would tie my hair in a bun and fan myself with something, because I was turning into mush.
Why is he affecting me so much?
One mother raised her hand and wriggled her eyebrows at Ethan with a dirty smile. “Who is that fine man?”
Ethan offered a smile. “Hello, I am Ethan Kane and I will volunteer here as a swim coach for a couple of months.”
One of the women said, “Oh, is it only for our kids or can we join too? I need some lessons in correcting my positions.”
I bit my lip and looked at Anya who wriggled her eyebrows at me. Even though my cheeks were flushed, I couldn’t deny that Ethan was handsome and reeked of raw masculinity that could make any woman into a puddle if he just looked at her. The mothers of the kids had always been playful flirts with all the male teachers, so Ethan was not an exception. I knew this would happen. Even Anya had warned me to protect Ethan.
Now’s the time to play my role.
I announced, “Oh, look, it’s time for the one-on-one meetings, why don’t you guys come to my office?”
The kids and the adults immediately started talking among themselves while I took my files and looked at Ethan who was surveying me.
“Come with me.”
He smirked, “I thought you wanted me to stay here and look after—”
With a firm voice, I said, “I need your assistance.”
He raised his eyebrow. “Assistance, you say?”
Rolling my eyes at him, I walked to my teacher’s office, which was similar to the coach’s office but still had a bigger space. It was beside my classroom, and if I wasn’t teaching, I was in my office most of the time.
One parent after another, I talked to them about their kids and made sure both the parent and the student left the office with a smile on their lips. Ethan sat beside me and answered parents’ questions about how they could help their kids reach Olympic trials. I watched him explain all of it and was proud of him when he heartily talked to them.
When Anya and Andrew came, I tried my best to be professional even though we live together. We couldn’t help it and discussed what we should have for dinner. Once again, she invited Ethan as we were going out, and even Jake would join us. Ethan wasn’t sure, but he promised he would let us know as soon as possible.
Only Ben was left, and his mom had called to say that they were going to be a little late, so I didn’t mind. But I did mind when my office looked smaller than before with Ethan sitting beside me, his knees brushing with my bare legs whenever I tried to shift. Not to mention, even sitting down, he looked tall and muscular enough to make the room look smaller.
“Hey, Kiara.”
My eyes snapped at Jake’s when he entered the office, looking between me and Ethan.
I stood up. “Jake, what are you doing here? Where have you been?” I closed my eyes and cleared my throat, “We need to talk later, today is the parent-teacher meeting.”
He stepped closer to the desk and said, “I know. I need to talk to you.” He surveyed my face, and before he could speak again, Ben rushed inside the room with a big grin on his face.
“Hello, Ms. Kiara!”
I smiled at Ben, his blue eyes sparking with delight when he saw me.
“Look, meet my daddy! Daddy, this is my favorite teacher, Ms. Kiara. Ms. Kiara, this my daddy!” Ben exclaimed, his hand holding Jake’s as he made the introduction.
I looked between Jake and Ben and Stacy, Ben’s mom, when she entered and looked at all of us.
I shook my head to clear my brain, “Jake . . . I—what did he just say?”
Jake took a deep breath, “I needed to talk to you about this. Ben is . . . my son.”
“Huh.”
My eyes were wide as I stared between my fiancé and my student. I didn’t notice before, but looking at them side by side, they both had the striking sapphire blue eyes and I knew Ben would grow up to be as good looking as Jake. The only difference was Ben’s hair, which was golden instead of Jake’s black curls.
“So you have a son and didn’t think it was important to tell me before . . .” I stopped, took a deep breath even though my whole body was knotted in nerves and all I wanted to do was get out of there.
I knew Stacy was Ben’s mom, so Jake and Stacy must have been together. Or they were together, judging by the way they stared at each other and back at me. I hated it. The way Jake made me feel in front of my student and Ethan.
“I am so sorry, Kiara, but we need to talk—”
I sat down, glaring at him. “Later. This is a parent-teacher meeting, and as a parent you should know that we are here to talk about Ben. Love, why don’t you sit down with your parents?” I said, addressing Ben as he seemed confused, looking between me and Jake, his father.
For the next few minutes, I tried my best to ignore Jake’s presence and acted as if he didn’t exist. I talked to Stacy and Ben, trying to remain calm because Ben didn’t know what was happening. When Ethan made his introduction, it was curt and short, his voice clipped. Judging by the clench in his jaw, I knew he was angry.
Did he know that Jake had a son? I clenched my hand in my lap. No, if he had, he would have told me as soon as possible. He didn’t know.
After finishing up, I gathered the papers on my desk aimlessly and let them know that the meeting had ended. I was ready to get out of there. My skin was itching, and I wanted to do something instead of sitting there and realize that even though I was engaged to him, he didn’t have the need to explain to me about Ben. We were getting married in a month, for God’s sake.
“Kiara, we need to talk.”
I gave him a saccharine smile, “It’s a bit late, don’t you think?”
Stacy had told Ben to go hang out with Andrew, who was still in the classroom. That meant Anya had sensed trouble when she saw Jake here and was waiting for me to finish up.
Jake’s pleading eyes met mine. “Sweetheart, please, let me explain.”
I flinched at his words and looked at my desk. “You have a son, Jake. That you forgot to mention when you slipped this ring on my finger!”
I pulled the diamond ring off and grabbing his palm, I handed it to him. “You can keep it.”
Taking my purse, I was ready to get out of there, ignoring Jake’s shocked face when Stacy stopped me.
“I know what he did was terrible, but we were together a long time ago. We didn’t know we had conceived, and we had already broken up,” Stacy said. Her eyes were filled with sadness as she looked at me as if she understood my pain. “He had moved to New York and was working on his career, so I didn’t tell him. H-he found out when Ben was a year old.”
“Ben loves his father because from what I know, he talks about him every time he comes back home from his business trip,” I shook my head. “I should have known. You are either always late or miss our dates because you were with Ben.”
“Kiara, please let me explain,” Jake said, “I was meaning to tell you about this. That’s why I was going to meet them and let them know about you. Please don’t break this engage—”
“Jake,” I tried to say without a quiver in my voice, “It is too late. You could have told me when we went on our first date that you have a kid and I would’ve accepted you. Even before our engagement, I would have. But we are, no—we were getting married next month, and now you have the audacity to show up and tell me you were planning to tell me that you have a son!”
Jake seemed taken aback by my outburst.
Well, what did he expect would happen?
“Don’t bother to show up at the wedding. It’s over.”
As soon as those words escaped my lips, I left the office.
Anya saw me, saw the tears glistening in my eyes, but I shook my h
ead when she approached me. I needed to get away from Jake, even though I knew he was behind me.
Holding my elbow, Jake made me look at him, “Please, Kiara. I never meant to hurt you like this. I didn’t know how to tell you about Ben.”
I glared at him through my tears, “With your fucking mouth, Jake. You hiding this for such a long time means only one thing. I am not important for you to tell me about your son.” I wrenched my arm from his grip and managed to say, “I don’t want to marry you.”
He shook his head, but I was too busy thinking if he ever loved me. He did, I knew that, but you don’t hide such a big thing from the person you truly love. That’s why I had to tell Ethan about my anxiety through my words and leave him, because I could never tell him the truth if I had stayed.
You don’t hurt the people you love. And I had already done that.
My throat closed up as I gulped nervously and looked down at my hand, the empty ring finger. The night he had proposed to me was my twenty-fifth birthday and one of the best nights of my life.
He was watching me with those same eyes I had seen so many times, I hated it. He was pitying me.
“I’m . . . I just need to leave.” I stammered, swallowing the lump in my throat and turning away from him.
I knew exactly how I was feeling. The day I saw Paul Corey on an ice cream date with Shaely. The day I saw my father and brother cry when my mother passed away. The day my brother, Karan, left for university without a word. The months without seeing my father’s face because he was grieving by drowning himself in work. The day I left Ethan, my best friend. The day I received the news that my unborn baby had died. It felt all the same. This feeling of dread, guilt and pain. So much pain.
I wanted to drown in this pit of sadness and never hurl myself out again.
I should have listened to myself. I was better off alone. Why didn’t I? This is my fault. I didn’t listen to myself, loved Jake, and now this breakup was my fault too. Thirteen-year-old Paul was smart enough to stay away from me. My mother left me alone. My brother pushed me away. My father was afraid to look at me because I reminded him of his dead wife. I pushed away Ethan and now he hates me. And now, Jake.
He saw all of it and didn’t want it.
I should’ve known. I was supposed to be smarter than this.
Why did he have to shatter my trust like this? Why did he have to ruin it? Was I not enough? Was I ever enough?
I couldn’t stop it when a sob broke out of my throat and I covered my face in my palms, my legs giving out under me. I knew I was about to fall, but I didn’t care. Strong arms held me from falling.
Jake mumbled in my ears, “Oh, honey . . . please don’t cry.”
I shook my head, more tears falling out, “Don’t touch me, Jacob. Please don’t.”
My shoulders shook with heart-wrenching sobs. “I don’t want to see you or touch you. Just . . . go away.”
Jake’s eyes turned grim when he looked at my tear-stricken face, “Kiara . . . please, don’t do this.”
I squeezed my eyes shut as more tears leaked out, hearing the small tremble in his voice. That hurt me as much as what he did, what he had already done.
“You don’t hide things like this from the people you love, Jake. Why did you do this?” I asked as more sobs threatened to pierce through my throat.
“Kiara. Babe, please, we can talk this out. We can a-adopt Ben if—”
I took a sharp breath, my eyes wide, “Are you hearing yourself right now? You want to take Ben away from his mother just because . . .” I shook my head and wiped the tears, “I don’t know you. I wish I had never loved you, Jake.”
He looked like I had slapped him. I might as well have. I turned and walked away from there. Tears slid down my face as I clutched my hand in the straps of my purse.
What am I going to do?
My eyes were blurred when I walked away from him in the empty hallway. I still couldn’t wrap my brain around the fact—the reality that Jake was the precious father Ben always talked about. I couldn’t process what was happening.
I stepped out of the school, and the evening breeze dried up my face, which was feeling heavy. God, I must look like a mess. What would I do now? Anya was supposed to move out at the end of the week, and I was supposed to move in with Jake. But not now. Where will I live? Shit, this is a mess.
Cinnamon woodsy musky scent wrapped around me and flowed in through my nose, calming my brain. I met his sharp, fierce eyes which clouded with smoldering anger, looking down at my face.
“It’s alright, Bella. I got you,” he whispered, kissing my hair and crushing me against his chest. He let me hide my face in his warm shirt, “Come on, I will take you home.”
Temporary home. I mentally added.
I didn’t know what to say or how to thank him when he buckled me in his car and held my hand while he drove silently. I was clutching his hand so tight that I wondered if it hurt him, but he didn’t complain. I needed to hold on to something as more silent tears escaped my eyes.
“Come on, Kia, we are here,” Ethan mumbled softly in my ear and gently coaxed me out of the car as if I was a fragile china doll. Maybe I was, because he knew I was at my breaking point, and I would either end up shouting at him or breaking something. I hoped neither of them would happen.
“Thank you, E,” I mumbled through a sniffle as he opened the door to the apartment with the key from my purse and sat me down on the couch. He told me to remove my heels and gave me a glass of water, sitting down beside me.
“You don’t have to thank me, Bella,” he said, keeping my empty glass of water on the coffee table. He frowned at me and leaned closer, “Let me help you with that.”
I held my breath when he touched my hair and gently removed the pins which were holding the sides of my hair in place, tucking them back. I sighed in relief when he ran a hand through my hair, tucking the loose strands over my ear. I swallowed the lump in my throat, and I knew the tears were welling in my eyes while I desperately tried to hide them in front of him. But he knew how I felt. He always knew how I felt by just looking at me. We were best friends and more than that. Sometimes he knew me better than myself. I used to hate that when we were teenagers, but not anymore.
My body tensed when he held my cold palms in his warm hands. I fluttered my eyes to him, and he saw he was looking down at the white, tan line on my ring finger.
His eyes flickered to mine and leaned closer. My body stilled at the intensity of his eyes pinning me to the spot. His warm breath fanned on my skin, his hands cupping my face and gently wiping the tears.
“Please don’t cry, Bella,” he whispered silently.
My eyes averted to his hands and saw the swollen bruise on his right knuckles. Clenching my jaw, I held it and observed the swollen cuts on his hand.
I glared at him, “Why?”
Ethan sighed, “Because.”
God, he and his stubborn ass.
I stood up to get the medical kit from the bathroom and tried to ignore my reflection in the mirror. He said that it wasn’t needed, and it was just a few scratches, but he stopped arguing when I gave him a blank stare and clasped his hand to clean it up.
After cleaning the wound and blood from his knuckles, I didn’t want to imagine how Jake must have looked.
“How was he?” I asked, wrapping a Barbie bandage around the injury with gentle fingers.
He was giving me a funny look for the pink bandage, but he could handle it with the big man ego of his.
“I gave him a split lip. He will be fine,” Ethan said as if he did this every other day. As if he had not just punched a model.
Taking a deep breath, I held his hand in mine. “You didn’t have to do that, Ethan.”
“Yes, I did. Any guy who hurts you will have a warm welcome with my fists,” he said without a hint of any guilt. He looked at me and my dress, “Come on, go take a shower. I will clean this up.”
Anya and Andrew stepped in the apartment. She took one look a
t me before sending Andrew to his room, telling him that she would explain everything later. She took me to my room and before I could explain, she said, “You don’t have to say anything. I figured it out, Ben is his son. That stupid jerk. I knew there was a reason I didn’t like him that much.”
“I thought you told me that you wished you had wooed him with your oral ski—”
She glared at me. “Not now, Kiara. That was before. I wished Ethan had punched him again. Now go take a shower. I will order some pizza and we can watch action movies together.”
I hugged her because that’s exactly what I needed. During the shower, I tried to ignore looking at my mirror, but I couldn’t help it. My eyes looked red and puffy because of all the crying, and my face was flushed red.
I stood under the shower, squeezing my eyes shut as I thought of all the good memories I had made with Jake. The first meeting with him, the night I had spent in his suite that night, drunk and laughing and cuddling with him. All the dates, my birthday, our engagement, the dinner with our family. But not once did he tell me about Ben. I wondered if that’s why he closed off when I talked about children with him. God, I was so stupid.
A sob pierced out of my throat. I closed my eyes and let the tears wash along with the soap. I slid down on the floor, hiding my face and wondered if I was ever enough for him that he had to hide that he was a father. And he wanted to take Ben away from Stacy, his mother. My head felt heavy with all the overthinking and my heart crumpled. I didn’t want to do anything. I wanted the water to wash away the sadness.
A knock on the door snapped me out of the whirlpool of my thoughts. I turned off the shower and stood up. I walked out of the shower stall which was steamed with fog and covered myself in a thick, towel robe.
Opening the door, I saw Ethan. His eyes drilled into my face, and I didn’t avert my red eyes because he would know if I had cried or not anyway. He always knows.
