This Much is True

by Louise, Tia

  Fucking Becky. It’s interesting how easily murder takes up residence in your mind. I now want to kill two people.

  “I wasn’t running. I’m not a flight risk.” Struggling strains my voice, but I do my best to hide my rage.

  “Tell it to the judge.” She nods to the door. “Take him to the car. You’re going back to prison. This time for good.”

  The men lift and shove me into the hall, not even caring that my phone is on the floor broken and stomped on. I look over my shoulder at my whole world lying there in pieces.

  If Hope comes back, I’ll be gone, and she won’t be able to reach me. If the landlord comes, he’ll think I’ve skipped town and have the apartment cleaned.

  They’ll throw my broken phone in the trash. My last chance at freedom will be swept away with the garbage. Anger like an iron fist surges in my chest as the door slams. It can’t happen…

  I’m still struggling as they muscle me to the car. It can’t end this way.

  Hope

  As I walk through the open space of the original Pancake Paradise, I can tell I’ve changed.

  When everything shut down, when it was clear I would lose the business, I couldn’t come here anymore.

  The thought of entering this big, empty space after our gigantic grand opening celebration, after a weekend of smiles on people’s faces, happiness and laughter, photographs on Instagram, group photos on Facebook, sharing and eating and so many pancake creations…

  I walked away and never came back.

  My manager handled the online auction, where we sold all the kitchen equipment, tables, chairs, flatware, napkins… anything anybody wanted to buy.

  I used the money to pay my employees one week’s salary, which left almost nothing for me—and is why I was selling Dad’s precious Impala.

  If I had opened the restaurant and absolutely sucked at it; if I’d been irresponsible or made bad business decisions, and it had simply flopped, that would’ve been difficult.

  Correction, that would have been devastating, but I could have lifted my chin, and said I tried. It wasn’t meant to be, but you never know until you try. Right?

  This was something entirely different.

  This felt like some cruel, invisible hand, smacking me from behind. I’d worked hard. I’d planned and consulted advisers. I’d done everything right. It wasn’t my fault…

  Which is why it’s coming back now with benefits. JR and I are both getting a second chance, and we’ve found each other. I’m so sure, all the way to my bones, it’s meant to be and it’s going to be better than what we’d originally planned.

  I spent the morning loading the industrial-sized bags of flour, sugar, and cinnamon no one wanted into the back of the car. Dry ingredients keep for a while if they’re kept cool. I also discovered a mop and a step ladder stuck in a back closet. I guess they’re mine like all the rest of it.

  So I have four bags of dry ingredients, a mop, and a step ladder. They’ll go with me to the new Pancake Paradise, and like the Brazilian Crush, they’ll be my omens of something better to come… Now I just have to figure out where.

  I stroll out onto the Embarcadero, down to Pier 39 where the sea lions live. Tourists love to come here and gaze at the giant mammals lying in the sun, but it smells like raw fish and the air is stuffy. Wrinkling my nose, I continue up Fisherman’s Wharf.

  The sky is blue, and it’s slightly warmer, but the crowds are thin. I wander past the carousel, towards the giant metal crab, wondering if it’s too soon to call him.

  Last night was so amazing. The last thing I expected was for him to appear at my house in the foggy darkness. Then he kissed me.

  My stomach tingles as the memories rush into my mind. All of it was so amazing and hot and thrilling. He’s so possessive. He’s so perfect.

  I’m craving his touch when my phone goes off in my bag. I dig it out quickly, hoping it’s him. I want to spend the rest of this beautiful day together. Maybe we can hold hands and walk along the beach.

  I don’t recognize the number. It’s a strange area code, and I’m about to dismiss it, when I get a feeling, almost like something’s wrong.

  “Hope, thank God.” It’s a voice I haven’t heard in weeks—and it’s different, no longer laid-back and teasing.

  “Scout?” My heart beats faster. “Why are you calling me? What’s wrong?”

  “JR’s been arrested. Somehow they found out he violated his parole.”

  “But…” I’m walking fast, heading to where I parked my car. “I don’t understand. If he’s cleared of the charges, won’t that mean he didn’t violate parole?”

  “He never talked to his lawyer. He said he was trying to call when the cops showed up.” Scout’s speaking fast, and I grab my keys.

  “He called you?” I hate feeling jealous, but I can’t help it. I want to be the one he calls when he needs help.

  “He called Jesse. He wanted to tell him he wouldn’t be home as soon as he said.”

  “Oh…” Tears fill my eyes. “He must be devastated.”

  “It’s going to be okay.” Scout’s voice is determined. “I told Jesse we were going to get his dad home. I’m flying to San Francisco tonight.”

  Swallowing the knot in my throat, I nod quickly. “How can I help?”

  “I need you to go to JR’s apartment and get inside. Find that phone.” He’s moving quickly in the background. “We’ve got to get it to a lawyer. This time we’ll be there for him.”

  Scout texts me the number of the apartment, but when I arrive, the door is locked.

  Standing in the hall, I look all around trying to figure out how I’m going to get into a second-floor apartment with no key.

  “He’s not here.” A raspy voice comes through the door across the hall, and I clutch my neck to stop a squeal.

  My heart beats faster as I face the closed door. “Hello? Are you talking to me?”

  “If you’re looking for the guy in 213, they took him away this morning.” I can’t tell if the person is really old or really sick.

  Hesitating, I decide to take a chance. “I’m a friend of his. He asked me to come here…”

  The door flies open, and I jump back with a little yip. A very small, very old woman with frizzy gray hair and a mask with a smiling sloth on it appears.

  She can’t be taller than four-foot-eleven, and she squints one eye at me. “Are you selling encyclopedias?”

  “Um… no…” I hold up both hands. “I just need to get into this apartment.”

  “Why?” She squints even harder. “Is there a cat in there?”

  I’m not sure how to answer this question, so I’m careful. “If I say yes, will you let me in?”

  “No.” She shakes her frizzy gray head. “I don’t have a key.”

  My shoulders drop, and I collapse against the door. “What am I going to do?” It’s a whispered sigh to myself, but the old lady holds up a finger.

  “The fire escape is in the alley. If he leaves his windows unlocked.” Her small arms cross. “Would he be that irresponsible?”

  “Only one way to find out!” I push off the door, running down the hall.

  “Remember to feed the cat!” She calls after me, and I don’t bother to argue.

  Slamming into the stairwell, I fly down the stairs. Outside, I skip quickly along the sidewalk, looking for any break in the buildings to access the alley.

  Finally, half a block down, I spot a narrow passage almost obscured by ivy. Pushing through it, I jump back and yelp when a dog barks loudly right at my head.

  “Holy shit!” A window is between us, but he paws at the glass. “Good doggy!”

  I dash farther down the passage, tracing the buildings with my eyes, trying to count the windows so I can figure out which is his.

  At last I locate a metal stairwell covered in flaking white paint I’m sure leads to JR’s building, but I’m stumped. The ladder is pulled all the way up, and it’s too high for me to reach.

  “Shit.” I look
all around the tiny, square area.

  Boxes and crates are tossed around. A dumpster is against one wall, and it’s clear nobody comes back here except for garbage. Shoving both my hands into the sides of my hair, I try to think. If only I had something to stand on… Or something to reach up and catch the bottom rung so I can pull down the ladder.

  If only I had a mop and a step ladder! I jump up and down then take off running back to Metallicar. Jamming the key into the trunk, I open it quickly and pull out the supplies.

  “Is this some kind of miracle or what?” I’m breathless as I run back to the fire escape.

  I’m sure I look like a deranged maid in a paper mask running down the sidewalk with a mop and a step ladder. If I weren’t so desperate, I’d probably stop and take a picture to send to Yarnell. As it is, I’m in the alley, looking up to where the metal fire escape ladder is all the way up.

  “You’re coming down!” I’m not sure why I’ve decided that ladder is my enemy, but here we go.

  Carefully, I climb to the top of the step ladder and reach with the mop as far overhead as I can. It’s super awkward, and I nearly lose my balance twice. Still, I manage to catch the bottom rung with the hair of the dry mop and pull it down to the ground. It’s spring-loaded, so as soon as I step onto it, the ladder starts to rise.

  Not losing time, I climb with it, reaching the second floor quickly. Sure enough, JR’s window is unlocked. I want to yell to Crazy Lady across the hall he is that irresponsible, but there’s no time.

  I dive into the one-room apartment, and quickly begin my search. Spare and very clean, JR’s bed is neatly made in one corner of the room. A brown wood dresser is beside it with a framed picture of him and Jesse sitting on it.

  Picking it up, I smile at the two of them. Jesse looks about three. He’s on his dad’s hip with an arm around his neck, and they smile with matching cheek dimples. Jesse does resemble his uncle, but he’s clearly JR’s son. I think about having them both in my life, and my chest shimmers. Jesse wasn’t a fan of my football skills, but maybe I could win him over with some pancakes. It’s such a happy dream. I want it so much.

  Returning the picture to the dresser, I continue searching for the phone. Scout didn’t tell me where it would be. I go to the kitchen, which is clean with only a few circulars on the bar.

  A bottle of whiskey is on the counter, but it’s barely been touched. My mind flickers to the night Scout bought whiskey for us. JR and I danced in the headlights, he kissed me for the first time…

  I could get lost in that delicious memory, but I don’t have time for distractions.

  I go quickly into the small living area, and when I step around a chair, my eyes land on the black device lying on the floor.

  “Oh, God, no.” I fall to my knees beside it, desperation tightening my throat.

  It’s not just shattered. It’s demolished. The face is splintered into a million pieces, and it looks like something heavy was dropped on it for good measure. Picking it up carefully, I grab a bit of paper towel off the end table and wrap it around the device, doing my best to preserve every bit.

  I’m scared now. JR said this was his only chance at a reversal. Slipping it into my pocket, I go to the door and open it.

  Crazy Old Lady is still there waiting. “Did you feed the cat?”

  “Oh!” I jump back with a squeal. “Yes… It’s all good. Thank you, Miss…”

  “Ronnie. Short for Veronica.” She turns and goes back inside her apartment, slamming the door.

  Shaking my head, I run to Metallicar. I’ll have to come back for my supplies. I’ve got to get to the nearest phone repair shop and pray they can work a miracle.

  “Try ten, four, twenty fifteen.” I quickly repeat the numbers to the guy behind the counter.

  When I pulled out JR’s demolished phone, the repairman’s face drained of color, but I wouldn’t let him discourage me. We’ve come too far.

  He attached a bunch of wires to the dead device. Then he needed the passcode to unlock it. Thankfully, Scout was on a layover.

  “That did it.” The tech winces at me. I think he meant to smile, but he’s been pretty bleak since I pulled out the phone.

  “You’re a genius.” I tell Scout.

  “When my brother gets out, I want you to be sure and tell him that.”

  I have to hand it to him, even in the face of this dire situation, Scout still manages to try and keep things light. Of course, he hasn’t seen this phone.

  “What were the numbers?”

  “Jesse’s birthday.”

  “Got it.” I make a mental note, October fourth. “How much longer until you get here?”

  “I’m supposed to be there at seven.”

  Glancing at the clock, I see it’s two more hours. “I’ll be glad to see you.”

  “Same here, girl. You know, we were only together a few days, but it felt like the three of us could face anything after that road trip. Didn’t it?”

  A surge of warmth fills my stomach. “It did.”

  It really did.

  “Here’s your receipt.” The guy hands me a long piece of paper, and he shakes his head. “Nothing is guaranteed, and we’re not promising we can fix it.”

  Taking the sheet, I give him a pleading look. “Please, please do everything you can. You have no idea how important the information on that phone is.”

  “You just need something off it?” His brow furrows.

  “A video. It was made two days ago, and it’s vitally important.”

  He nods. “Usually it only takes a day, but it might take a little longer in this case.”

  “As soon as you can.” I think about what Stephen Hastings said about having faith in each other.

  I do have faith, and I have to believe this guy can help us.

  “Here’s another number just in case you can’t get me.” I quickly write Scout’s number on the receipt. “Call either of us as soon as you know something.”

  Two hours later, I’m picking up Scout at the airport.

  “What’s the latest?” He hops into the passenger’s side dressed in faded jeans and a long-sleeved tee.

  His light hair is messy, and instead of the carefree expression he usually wears, he’s focused.

  “The guy at the repair shop wasn’t very encouraging.” I glance over with a worried face.

  He gives my shoulder a squeeze and shifts in the seat, taking out his phone. “I’ve got a backup plan. We’re going to see JR at the prison.”

  My heart beats faster. I want to see him so badly. “You think we can?”

  “We have to try. I need him to help me find this Clyde guy.”

  “You think he’s still there?”

  “Only one way to find out.” Scout’s jaw tightens. “JR didn’t beat a confession out of him, but I will. Then I’m going to find a good lawyer and get my brother free.”

  Jr

  For twenty-eight hours, I’ve been alone in this cell.

  The warden said we’re isolated for our safety, but it only intensifies the thoughts pressing hard against my brain.

  My one call was to my son. I wanted to call Hope. I ache every time I think about her, but I had to call Jesse.

  At the sound of that boot crunching my phone, he was the first thing on my mind. He’s waiting for me. He believes me when I say I’ll be back soon. He’s also five—too little to understand why. He’ll only know I never came back.

  Again.

  Exhaling a low growl, my fist tightens as all the rage roars to life in my chest. I’d released my dad. I’d kept myself from beating the shit out of that asshole Clyde, but injustice still won. I’m back to where I was when I left this place a month ago. I want to hurt somebody. Not somebody, three people in particular.

  The bitterness in my chest is a physical pain. My one chance at overturning this wrongful conviction is gone… There’s no way it survived, and powerlessness is a cruel driver.

  Scout said he was getting on the next plane here, but it’s
hard to believe it’ll make any kind of a difference.

  “Just hang on, bro. I’m going to get you out of there.” My brother’s voice was level.

  Then he put Jesse on the line.

  “It’s taking a little longer than I expected, buddy.” Despite the flames in my throat, I managed to quiet them for him.

  “How much longer?” Jesse’s wobbly whisper clawed at my heart.

  “I’m not sure. I’m not sure…” My voice cracked as I said the words, and I blinked up at the overhead lights, doing my best not to lose it.

  “I did what you said.” His small voice turns positive, hopeful. “I invited Hunter to be on my team.”

  “You did?” Leaning my head back, I fight to match his optimism. I imagine being there with him. “How’d it go?”

  “Just like you said. We’re all friends now.”

  “That’s good. I’m really proud of you.” God, this is so hard.

  “Uncle Scout said he’s going to get you and bring you home. Will you come home with Uncle Scout?”

  “If there’s any way…” I swallow the knot in my throat. A beeping on the line tells me my time is up. “I have to go now, buddy. I love you, little man.”

  “I love you too, Dad.”

  Ever since that call, I’ve sat waiting. I should have a meeting with a lawyer, but according to the guards, everything takes longer these days. All I can do is wait and hope.

  Hope…

  Dropping my head into my hands, I can’t stop thinking about her, her soft skin and bright blue eyes, her sweet laugh and sexy little body. After weeks of searching for her, there she was, back at that old beach house. We shared the most amazing night. When I left her, we were making plans. I’d asked her to go with me to Fireside, and she said okay.

  Now it’s all shot to hell.

  My fingers curl against my forehead. I believed. I actually prayed. Snapping my gaze up to the ceiling, my jaw tightens along with my fist. Why would I find something I’ve never had only to have it taken away?