by JA Low
“Women make you crazy,” I reply.
“So still nothing from Olivia?” Derrick asks and I shake my head.
“I know she loves you, but she has some crazy ass loyalty to her family which I don’t understand, but I guess she’s just scared that if she doesn’t do what her father wants and he dies, she is going to feel responsible.”
“I wish she had that kind of loyalty to me.”
“Honestly, Axel, I don’t think she is going to go ahead with the wedding.”
“To be honest, Derrick, I don’t know if I have the energy to care anymore. This is something Olivia needs to work out for herself.”
“Are you still going to be here if she finally comes to her senses?”
I look up at him. “Yeah, but I won’t wait forever.”
“Fair enough, just please don’t give up on her. I know she’s hurt you, and I honestly don’t blame you for being pissed. I’m pissed at her and I’m not in love with her…well I am, but only as my princess. I think deep down she is scared and just wants extra time with her father and she thinks this is the only way to do it.”
“Yeah I know, still sucks.” He slaps me on the back and we head outside to where the rest of the boys are. I am going to enjoy this time with my boys, and maybe for the first time in a week I can get her out of my head, even if it’s for a couple of hours.
154
Olivia
“You look beautiful,” my mother coos as I stand on the step in the middle of the wedding dress shop, twirling around like I’m her toy doll. My sister and Ivy are standing in front of me, both of them looking at me with scowls on their faces, but for two very different reasons. Father is still in the hospital and I thought this might cheer Mother up. It has but has depressed me even more.
“Honey, smile, you’re getting married to the man of your dreams.”
I don’t plaster on the fake smile that I normally would, instead I show her how I really feel.
“What do you think of the dress, sweetheart?” She changes tact.
“Yeah, it’s nice.” It looks like a million other white dresses. In all honesty I don't care. I want this over and done with so we can go about our normal lives again.
“I don’t know what is wrong with you.” She glares at me.
“Olivia’s just pining after some rock star like a love sick groupie, that’s all Mother,” Penny replies.
Mother glares at Penny. “There will be no talk about that; especially not in public, do you hear me?” She hisses at Penny who zips her lips on the matter.
“I think this dress looks beautiful, it’s very traditional, it’s similar to my wedding dress actually. I think Eddie is going to have tears in his eyes when he sees you walking down the aisle.” My mother smiles at me.
I look at Penny and she looks like she is ready to rip the stupid dress off me and burn it at the stake. “We’ll take it,” Mother tells the boutique owner. I shuffle back to the dressing room and change back into my clothes.
“Can I leave now?” Penny asks.
“Of course, dear, see you later.” Mother gives her a kiss on each cheek, and then she is gone.
“I’m off to the hospital, I will see you later, sweetheart.” My mother does the same to me, kissing me on each cheek. “Lovely to see you again, Ivy.” She nods at my best friend before getting into a town car.
“I need a drink,” I blurt out.
“So do I,” Ivy agrees.
We make our way down the street and find the nearest pub. We order two champagnes at the bar, and once we get them we sit down and look over the lunch menu.
“I’d say cheers to a great day wedding dress shopping, but I’d be lying.”
My best friend’s honesty hurts. “I know you don’t understand why I am doing this.”
“No, Olivia, that’s the thing. I get why you’re doing it; I just don’t agree with it.” That stings, Ivy and I never fight but this wedding is putting a wedge between us. I haven’t seen her since she got back from The Paradise Club resort.
“So, how was your holiday?” I try to change the subject.
“I had so much fun at the resort, it was amazing.” I notice her cheeks are pink.
“And?” I push.
“I did things that I never thought I would ever do,” she quickly confesses.
“Which was?” Come on Ivy spill the beans.
“I was spanked, I walked around naked on the beach, I was tied up. I…” Her cheeks are now red.
“Yes, go on. Come on, let me live vicariously through you.”
Ivy takes a gulp. “I had a threesome.”
I gasp loudly before reigning it in. “No way,” I whisper. “Tell me more.”
She shakes her head. “It’s nothing, but it was fun. Two men,” she giggles.
“I am so excited for you.”
“I want to go to the club in London, I think I want to become a member.”
“Really?” Ivy is about as adventurous as I am, but that was before Axel.
“Yes, I get why you changed when you came back from Monaco.”
“What do you mean?”
“You were more confident in yourself as a woman. There’s something about being with two men who desire you…they make you feel like you can take on the world.” This makes me smile because I am so happy for my friend, but I know why I felt different, it was because of Axel, because of the way he was with me. He showed me that I was beautiful, desirable, he was gentle with me, he took control of the situation and made me trust him. I know I am a fool to have chosen Eddie over Axel, but I feel trapped trying to please everyone.
“Hot sex will do that,” I giggle.
“Also the love of the right man will as well.” Yep, she gets right to the point.
“I messed up, I get it. You’re upset with me. I sent invitations to Vanessa and everyone and they all declined. I guess they are all firmly on team Axel.”
Ivy takes my hand. “Vanessa is now Axel’s sister-in-law, he’s her family.” I know she’s right but it stings. “And Camryn, well, you know she never keeps her opinions to herself, she’s upset because she wants to see you happy and you know Eddie is never going to make you happy.”
I let out a heavy sigh. “I am going to divorce Eddie when my father…” I can’t finish the words; tears start to stream down my cheeks.
“Oh, Liv.” She pulls me in beside her.
“I know he won’t make me happy, I hate him and I hate my sister, but I love my father and this is his dying wish. He’s hanging onto life waiting to watch me walk down the aisle.”
“I know, Liv, I know, and it’s noble what you are doing and people can’t judge unless they have walked in your shoes, but you can’t ask people to support something they are against either.” I sniffle, I know she is right.
The weeks have dragged on since I broke up with Axel. My father’s heath has improved significantly; he had his double bypass and is now at home recovering. Penny is gallivanting around London with Eddie, thankfully the tabloids are not reporting on it, but it’s still all over their social media pages. I checked Axel’s Instagram account, there are pictures of him at Ryder’s first birthday party. Looking at all my friends there having fun, the pang of regret hits me like a ton of bricks. I should be there beside him, I should be in these photos, we should be planning a life together except he’s moving on and I am stuck in some messed up soap opera scenario marrying a man who is screwing my sister and everyone else around town.
I sent a text to Sienna, wishing Ryder a happy birthday and she replied back thanking me for the present. I got him a life size Paddington Bear. The pictures of him hugging it and trying to eat it made my ovaries burst, as did my heart. At least Stacey has been chatting with me; she told me Axel doesn’t frequent The Paradise Club anymore. If I’m honest, this makes me happy. The thought of him moving on is too much for me. She’s also told me that he walks around the label like a bear with a sore head, he’s pretty grumpy and people tend to stay out of his way
. Stacey loves working at the label, especially now that Oscar likes to call her into his office and do wicked things to her. This makes me laugh. Isla left last week to her new life in Europe with hot chef Sebastien. Finn has decided to stay on in the New York office instead of LA, so she doesn’t see him much anymore. She told me how Sienna’s new children’s boutique is really coming along and the grand opening should be happening in the next couple of weeks. They have also moved Wyld Jones Boutique next door into the two story space. The boutique down the bottom and up on the top is all Derrick’s styling space, they’ve even hired staff.
I also sent Derrick a message congratulating him on his new space, and he replied by telling me that he misses me and wants his sister back. This of course makes me cry because I miss all of them. In such a short time they became my friends and family, something I don’t have here. Sitting in my office, I look out of the window over the forest, the rain pouring down and the countryside looking miserable, it matches me perfectly. How the hell have I gotten myself into such a mess? I grab a bottle of wine and drink it straight from the bottle. Fuck it.
A couple of hours later, after I have watched maybe one too many episodes of Dirty Texas live on Netflix, my finger hovers over the call button. The large amount of wine flowing through my veins giving me courage, and I just need to hear his voice. That’s all it takes for me to call him, just once. It rings and rings and rings. I have no idea what time it is in LA, he’s probably asleep.
“Olivia.” His gravelly voice answers the phone. I freak out and hang up.
155
Axel
I’ve been up late writing most nights. This break up with Olivia has been great for my writing and I have been putting my heart and soul into new songs. I’ve given some to the Sons of Brooklyn boys and the Gypsy Sisters to play around with. They are about to go on a small tour together. After seeing them play at Christian’s wedding we knew that a national small venue tour might be a great way to get new fans to come see them together.
The label has been keeping me busy, Finn’s setting up the New York office, Ness is there as well training Harper, Camryn’s friend, on all PR responsibilities for the label. Her company is going to take over when Vanessa goes on maternity leave, which isn’t for a few months but she likes to be prepared. Carrying twins can be dangerous and they could come any time so she wants to make sure work is covered. Like we would care if it wasn’t; her and the babies’ health are the first priority.
I’m not going to lie, seeing the ultrasound of my nieces really got to me. I envisioned images of Olivia maybe pregnant with twins, showing our family and friends photos of our babies. I am such a fucking pussy; I hate that meeting Olivia has made me want more than I am able to have. It was nice that Olivia sent Ryder a present, the Paddington Bear was pretty cute, Ryder loved it. Why wouldn’t he? It was a big fluff ball that was double the size of him that he could crash tackle all the time.
Christian told me that he and Vanessa received wedding invites in the mail for Olivia’s wedding. So did a couple of the other guys. I was pretty pissed off that she had invited my friends, but Vanessa reminded me that she had known Olivia a long time, and that it was only natural for her to invite her. But she then told me she declined. One reason being the babies, another being she didn’t agree with the wedding and lastly because I was family.
Derrick told me he declined the invite as well, he said he was having a protest vote, but he would send a kick ass wedding present because he’s not that much of a bitch. All my friends and family’s support over her wedding made me feel good, but there was a small portion of me that felt bad that Liv wasn’t going to have any friends there, well except Ivy. Even Camryn declined organizing the event. Olivia probably feels pretty alone with all her friends not supporting her decision. I’m not saying that I support it at all, because fuck no, but I get why she is doing it. It still stings.
I’m working late, not sure what time it is but it’s late, I think the first rays of the morning sun are breaking through the night sky. My phone starts ringing, I didn’t realize I’d fallen asleep at my writing desk. My face is glued to bits and pieces of paper as I fumble around on my desk looking for my phone. When I glance down at the screen I can’t believe my eyes the word Olivia is flashing across it. I answer the phone, wondering what on earth she has to say after all this time. But when she hears my voice she hangs up, I guess it’s just a pocket dial, she doesn’t really want to talk to me.
“Hey, Ax,” Derrick calls me. It’s late on a Friday night.
“Hey, D, what’s up.”
“We can still stop the wedding.”
This makes me laugh. “Why would I do that?”
“Because you love her,” Derrick huffs.
“Love sometimes doesn’t conquer all, D. This is the real world, not some fairy tale.”
“You are so goddamn stubborn. The both of you are. That stubbornness is letting the woman you love marry Marquees de Dick Face.”
“Yeah, well that’s her choice.”
“So, you are totally fine with her taking that royal douche to bed tomorrow night and letting him touch her, fuck her, impregnate her.”
My fists ball up. “Of course I’m not, D,” I yell at him. He is such a meddler. “But she chose him, what do you not understand about this situation? Tomorrow she is marrying someone else, not me.”
“But you never fought for her.”
“I flew to fucking Scotland to be by her side, then she told me to take a hike.”
“She was hurting, her father almost died, she wasn't thinking straight.” Derrick tries to reason on behalf of his friend.
“She never contacted me, it’s been months.”
“I know…” Derrick concedes. “I just…I just wanted you two to make it.”
“I know, D, so did I. It just wasn’t our time, right girl, wrong time.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Well I’m here for you tomorrow if you need me.”
“Thanks, D, but I have heaps of work to do, tomorrow is just another day.” I know I am kidding myself but I have no choice.
“Okay, well I’m here anyway, anytime.”
“Thanks, D.”
I will not look, I will not look, I will not look. I repeat that mantra over and over again, determined not to check out any social media or the internet until Christian calls me.
“Hey,” I say, picking up the phone.
“Holy shit, the wedding,” he splutters down the phone.
My heart is racing. What the hell has happened? Is Olivia okay?
“I can’t believe it,” he continues in shock.
“What? What’s happened?”
156
Olivia
It’s been a month since my stupid drunk call to Axel. He never called me back after that fateful call and it pissed me off, but I understood why. I had fucked up; this was all on me. He didn’t owe me anything. I just hope that he is okay, happy even. Oh who am I kidding, I don’t want him to move on. I’m not ready for him to move on.
“Hey, how are you doing?” Ivy pops her head into my dressing room.
Today is my wedding day.
Yes, I know! How did I make it to this point?
In a couple of hours, I will be walking down the aisle with my father by my side to a man I loathe and despise and I’ll be wishing that the man greeting me at the end of aisle was someone else. I can’t think of him today otherwise I will burst into tears. The gravity of today has hit me and hit me hard and I am barely hanging on by a thread.
“You okay? You’re looking pale.” Ivy looks at me with concern in her eyes. I rush to the toilet and proceed to throw up my breakfast into the bowl, over and over again until there is nothing left. I slump on the floor knocking over the waste basket, but I don’t care.
“Um, Liv. Do you have something to tell me?” She points to the mess on the floor and that’s when I see it, a pregnancy test.
“That’s not mine.” I point to it.
; “But you just threw up,” Ivy states.
“Yeah, because I am about to make the biggest mistake of my life, that’s why I am throwing up. Not because I am pregnant.”
“Then how the hell did that test get into your trash basket?”
This morning Mother made Ivy, Penny and I have breakfast together in my suite, all for the photos of course. Penny excused herself to go to the bathroom after breakfast. Did she leave it there?
I jump up from the cool, tiled floor and throw some water on my face. “Someone needs to answer some questions and I am going to find out exactly what is going on.”
“Liv, wait, wait for me.” Ivy runs after me as I walk out of the hotel room. I’m dressed in my bathrobe and bare feet. I knock on Penny’s door but there is no answer, I continue on down to my parents’ door and knock on it.
“Sweetheart,” Father greets me warmly, pulling me in for a hug. “I am so proud of my little girl, it’s her wedding day. I never thought I would get to see this day, but it’s here.” I feel sick in my stomach.
“Where’s Penny?”
Mother pops in. “She’s just popped down to Eddie’s room to grab your wedding present from him.”
I’m sure she is. “I think you better follow me to Eddie’s room then, I have some questions to ask my sister and I think you might want to hear the answers to them.” I tell my parents.
“It’s bad luck to see the groom before the wedding,” Mother squeals.
“If you don’t come with me right now, there will be no wedding,” I hiss at her. My parents look at me in shock, but they do as they are told and follow me down the hallway. There is a maid about to knock on the door with fresh towels, her eyes widen as she sees us barreling toward the door.
