CLAIRE: (is it really love)

by Grace Gervas

  "Canyoubelievewedidit?"Heyappedandsheregarded himwithafaintsmile."Oh,IguessI'llhaveagoodnightsleep today."

  "Sowilleveryoneelse."Clairereplied,seeminglyhalfinterested.

  Nathanmovedhisfacecloser."What'swrong?Youlookkindof angry?" "What?"Sheforcedasmile,andthegreydoorssplitopen. "I'mnotangry,I'mjusttoogladthatwe'reoverthisone."She saidastheyslidinsidethecabin.

  "You'reright.I'lljustcalltheofficeandsharethemthegood news."saidhe,whiletakinghiscell,andsheonlysmiled. Claire'sheadwastoooccupiedtoevenlistenwhenNathan startedtalkingwithabigsmilefromsidetoside.Shekept thinkingoftheweekendshe'dspentatSteven's,andhiswords aboutnotgivinguponhisgrandsontoosoon.Actuallythere wasnoneedforsuchareminderbecauseshewasalreadyon vergeofnotgivinguponhimeitherway;hekepttormentingher sincewaybefore,butyetshefoundherselfinhisarms somehow.Sowhatwasthepointofrunningawayfromherown feelings?Shewantedtoconfronthimforonce,andforcehimto listentoher,andmaybehecouldtellherwhatwasreallythe matterwithhim.

  Thedoorsfinallyopenedbythelobbyfloor;stillstucktothe cabin,ClairetoldNathantogoonahead."I'llbeintheoffice beforetwelve,Ipromise."Sheinsisted.

  "Okay,don'ttakelongerthanthat.We'rehavingameeting afterlunch."Heremindedher.

  "YesNathan.Thanks."Sheutteredandimmediatelypressed thelastfloorbuttononthelist;Ryan'sofficefloor. Athissecretary'soffice,thesamepolitelookingwomantold herthatMr.Stevenswasn'ttobedisturbed,accordingtothe instruction.

  "But,doyouwantmetopersonallyaskhimthatyouwant toseehim?"SheaskedClaire. "Ishewithanyone?"Clairequeried.

  "Nohe'snotbut--"

  "Thenyoudon'thaveto."Claireuttereddryly,andoffshe runforRyan'sofficedoor,leavingthepoorsecretarymoaningin terror;duetoClaire'sdisregardingofthewarning,andmaybeof losingherownjob.

  Ryanstooduphisfeet,amomentClairewalkedinlikea madwoman;shewaspanting,vividlyupsetofsomethingand thesecretarywasrightbehindher.

  "It'sokay,youcanleaveusalone.Anddon'tletanyoneelse in,unlessIsayso."Ryantoldtheterrifiedlady,andshenodded approvingly.

  Thedoorfinallyclosed,andthetwostaredoneanother,as thoughoneofthemwasgoingtokilltheother. "DidIaskyoutomarryme?"Clairesnapped.Herquestion forcedastartledlaughoutofRyan,despitehisuncool disposition.Hepacedfromhisseat,andstoodhimselfnextto her."IaskedifIeveraskedyoutomarryme!"Sherepeated,and nowhelaughedforreal.

  "WhatisthisallaboutClaire?"Hefinallyuttered,while leaningagainsthisdesk. "NothingmajorMr.RyanStevens,"Sheanswered."Isimply don'tunderstandwhyyoukeepsendingmemixedsignals;first youaskme,no,begmetosleepwithyou,andthenextdayyou treatliketrash.Whatisitthatyouwantfromme?Ifyou're shuttingmeoutofyourlife,thendoitlikeaman,andstopthis ridiculousandstupidgameofyours!"Sheyelledtohisface,that henarrowedhiseyesreflexively.

  "Whataboutyou?"Ryanasked,ignoringheryelling. Clairefrowned,unabletofollowhisremark."Whatabout me?" "Whatdoyouwantfromme?"Ryanreturned,somberly, withoutrevealinghowhefeltatthemoment.Herepeated, "You'retheonewhowantedmetoleaveyoualone,andit's exactlywhatI'mtryingtodo,sothenwhatdoyouwantfromme Claire?"

  Shepressedherlipstogether,thinkingcarefullyofwhatto say;whatdidshewantfromhim?Sheknewexactlywhatwhat shewanted. "Iwantyou!"Sheanswered,andwalkedclosertoRyan, whoseeyesglistenedinaninstant."Iwanttospendmostofmy timewithyou;talkingtoyou,havingdinnertogether,andeven sleepingtogether."Sheencircledherhandsaroundhisneck, boldly,sendingashiverdownhisspine."Iwanttocontinue whiningaroundyou,arguingwithyou,receivingabunchof bothersometextsduringofficehours,Iwanttolaughwithyou!"

  ThatmadeRyanbrokeintoanamusedsmile,andwithout hispureconsent,hishandswanderedaboutClaire'swaistand pulledhernear."I'mnotagoodguyClaire."Heconfessed plainly.

  "DoyouthinkIhaven'tlearnedthatyet?"Sheasked, seeminglyunbothered."Iknowperfectlywellwhatkindofan assholeyouare,andwhatabitchIamtoputupwithyoueither way."

  Ryanburstedoutlaughing."Mustyoubesobrutallyhonest Claire?"Heasked.

  Claireshrugged."Youwantedmyhonestopinion,right?" Sheuttered,andtheywentdeadsilentforaminute. "Whatkindofspellhaveyoucastonme?"Heuttered hoarsely,whilestaringdeeplyintohershiningeyes. "I'mnotsure,"Clairereplied."andlikeIsaid,I'mnotasking youtomarryme."

  Heraisedaninquiringeyebrowthistime."Whydoyoukeep mentioningthat."Hesoundedbruised. "BecauseIfeellikeyou'reterrifiedofcommitment;and trustmeRyan,you'requitefarfromthemanI'dconsider marryingsomeday,sodon'tworryaboutanyofthat."

  "Okay,whydoIfeelsuddenlyoffended?"Ryansnorted,and shechuckled.Hethenbreathedoutsoundly,feelingsucharelief. "Youlookexceptionallybeautifultoday."Headded,

  mischievously.

  "Sodoyou;Navybluetreatsyoubetterthanblack."She answeredsmilingly,anditwasapurefact;helooked breathtakinglygoodthatmorning.

  "Ohitdoes?"

  "Itsurelydoes."

  Theirlipsmet,andalongingkiss,that'sbeenrepressedfor anentireweek,finallytookitsplace.Nothingelsemattered anymore;allthethinkingandponderingwaswaterunderthe bridge.

  "YoudoknowifwegoondoingthisImayendupfucking youonmydesk,don'tyou?"Ryanutteredbreathlessly;his handshadalreadytravelledunderneathherdress.

  Shequicklyslappedthemoff,giggling."Don'tyoudareRyan! I'mgoingbacktoworkrightnow."Shewarnedhimandtriedto pullaway.

  Helaughed."Ohcomeon!Let'sjustplayhooky."He announcedlikeateenboy. "ShameonyouRyanStevens!Whatagoodexamplefor yourhumbleemployee,huh?" "Mybitchemployee?"

  "Don'tcallmebitchyouassholeboss."

  Theystartedlaughingagain."Doyouhavetogobackright now?"Ryanasked,alittledisappointedly. "Ioughtto,"sheansweredwhilefixingherselfwithalittle powderkitforamirror."Ineedtoworkonmylicensetoo,I wonderifIcandoitallbytheendoftoday."

  "Leavethattome."Hequipped.

  "What?Mylicense?"

  "Yeah.You'llhaveitsoon,unlessyoudon'tknowhowto driveatall." "OfcourseIdo!Ijusthavetorenewit."

  "Well,that'ssettledthen."

  "Okay,I'llbemorethanhappytogetmylicensewithout liftingafinger."Clairesaid,andthetwosharedasmile."Ineed togonow,bye!"Shetriedtoslipaway,butshewasbacktohis armsandanotherlongkisswasshared.

  "CanIpickyouuplatertonight?"Ryanaskedwhenthey finallysplit. "Ifyouwantto."Shereplied,smilingly.

  "Canwehavedinnertogether?"Heaskedagain. "Ofcourse,wecanhavedinnertogether." "Canwesleeptogethertonight?"Headded.

  "YesRyan,wecansleepto--"sheshothimaglance,andhe laughed."No!Wecan'tsleeptogetheronMonday.Areyou crazy?"

  "Comeon!Whynot?We'llgotoyourhouse,andyou'llget fewclothesforworknextday,orwecanjustbuyeverythingyou need."Heinsisted,withoutlettinggoofherwaist.

  "No!I'llgetdistracted,andIhavethingstodo." "Noyouwon't,I'llevenhelpyou!"

  "Ohsonowyou'readesignertoo?"

  "Icanlearn."Hesaid."Howhardcanitbe?"

  "Ashardasputtingabuildingoutofabareland."She utteredandrunforthedoor,leavinghimlaughing."Catchmeif youcan."Shesnappedbeforeleavingforgood.

  THEweekwasstartingveryblissfully,andtheglowonClaire's facehadreturnedtremendouslythatnoneofLydia'ssarcastic commentsbotheredherwhileatwork.Shekeptherselfbusy, withfewassignmentsthatNathangaveeachoneofthemduring theafter-lunchmeeting.Thetimeseemedtoflybyfast, especiallywithRyan'smessageseverynowandthen,toremind heroftheirdinnerdate,andapossibilityofhersleepoverathis placeandevenhisnaughtyregretthathecouldn'thaveheron hisofficedesk.Withabigsmile,Clairereturnedhislastmessage.

  FROM:Claire TO:RYANTHEJERK Mon***4:17PM

  (Subject)DearMr.Stevens,IclearlytoldyouthatIcan'tsleep overtonight;butsinceyou'resoinsistent,letmejustsaythatI'll giveyoumyfinalansweroverdinner.Andaboutyouroffice fantasies,maybewecansaveitforanothertime;untilthen,just keepfantasizingaboutit,justlikeIdomine.

  sent. ShebitherlipsatthethoughtofRyan'scrazyideaofhaving sexinhisoffice.Whatamaniachewas,shethoughtwhile blushingtoherself.Luckily,herworkwasn'taffectedatallwith alltheweirdthingsthatkeptgoingoninsideherhead.Shewas actuallybackinsearchingforthetrendybathroomideasonthe web,whenherphonechirpedagain.

  FROM:RYANTHEJERK

  TO:Claire Mon***4:20PM (Subject)OkaydearMs.Challenge.I'llbehopefullywaiting foryourreplylatertonight.OhyesIdofantasizeaboutit,Ijust can'tseemtolovethewaitingidea.Andyouhaven'ttoldme aboutyourfantasyupuntilnow,what'sgoingoninthatsmart headClaire?

  received. Again,Clairestartedlaughinglikeanidiot,andthankedheavens forwhomeverinventedtheofficepartitionsforalittlepriva
cy. Sheimmediatelytypedherreply.

  FROM:Claire TO:RYANTHEJERK Mon***4:21PM

  (Subject)Aren'tyouabittoonosyforaCEO?WellI'llletyou knowofmyfantasiesinduetimeSir.Oh,don'tsay"don'tcall meSIR"becauseI'llneverstopifyoudo.Nowpleasegetbackto workRyan,anddon'tforgettopickmeuplateratseven.

  sent. Shejustplacedherphoneaside,andevenwhenanew messagearrived,shetriedtoignoreuntilshewasdonewiththe notesshewasjottingdown.Asweetsmileescapedherlipsas shereadit.

  FROM:RYANTHEJERK TO:Claire Mon***4:55PM

  (Subject)Mybeingnosywhencomestoyou,doesn'teven countasadefect.You'reright,I'llgetbacktoworknow.Ihavea meetingoutsidetheoffice,butI'lldefinitelypickyouupatseven.

  P.S:Youjustkeepcallingmesir,andyou'llseewhatIcandoto thatfoulmouthofyours.

  received. Withasmile,Claireshookherheadtothesides,andslipped herphonebackintoherhandbag,beforeproceedingswithwork. Evidentlyshewasanticipatingthenightsobadly,andeven entertainedtheideaofsleepingoveratRyan's.Knowingthat Doriswasoutoftheequation,madehergrinincredulouslyfrom eartoear.EventhoughRyanwasn'thers,thefactthathe's wasn'tanyone'seither,madeherfeelconfidentalloveragain. Andyes,shefinallyfellbacktotheGreatRyanStevens!Have somethingtosay?Justsayit.

  Didyouenjoythestory?Ihopeyoudid.Thisisitforthefirst part;it'sanongoingstorythat'sstillpublishedonWATTPAD.I wantedtosharethispartsothatIcanhearsecondopinionfrom you;YESYOU.

  Thankyousomuchforreading. Youhaveaquestion?Putitonthecommentsection,oryoucan alsowritetomeviagracegervy1@gmail.com.Ialwaysrespond, promptly.I'dappreciateifyourateandsharethis.Thanks again!!!

  FormorestoriesandchaptersofCLAIRE,followmeon WATTPAD.Username:geegervy.

  AbigTHANKYOU!