My Life as a Holiday Album (My Life as an Album #5)

by L. J. Evans

When I turned back around, Cole was taking in the bar with a surprised smile on his face. While he was distracted, I took a moment to assess him like he’d done to me on the ride over. Like I’d been wanting to do―and resisted―the entire time we’d been together, walking from store to store on Main Street.

  I started at his full, brown head of hair that was surprisingly similar to my own and ended at his huge, Chuck-covered feet. He was lean and tall, but I realized he was also full of muscles. They rippled along his arms and his chest beneath his long-sleeved T-shirt. Even the cuts of the muscles on his legs showed through his tight jeans. He was powerful in an understated way.

  I swung my gaze back to his face and found his eyes on me, a smirk on his face, and I realized I’d gotten caught checking him out. My face flushed pink, and I brushed at a nonexistent speck of lint on my shirt sleeve. None of this was me. I didn’t check random men out. I didn’t flush and have my stomach turn to jelly when a guy glanced my way. I was the one who rolled their eyes at anything as lame as instant attraction.

  I turned back around and took off for the bar where one of the regular bartenders was working. I felt Cole following me with his eyes on my butt once more. It seriously made me want to check my panty line again, but I refused to give in to the impulse.

  “Hey, Ted, Phil around?” I asked when I got there.

  Ted smiled at me as he filled up a pint at the tap. He hooked his head in the direction of the hallway to the back. “In his office.”

  “Is that Guinness? On tap?” Cole asked, shock in his voice.

  “Yeah?” Ted said with a So what? to his tone.

  “I think I just fell in love with this place,” Cole said with admiration.

  “Why don’t you sit down and have one while I talk to Phil? You deserve a refreshment after tagging along with me.” I made the suggestion, just to put some time and space between him and me. Time to get a hold of the emotions that were raging through me, beating an unfamiliar pattern.

  “Nah, I came to help,” he said, shuffling toward me again.

  I had a million retorts on the tip of my tongue, but when he moved next to me so that our arms brushed, every word slipped away. I barely repressed a shiver as we made our way down the tiny hallway lined with wood and deep-green paint toward Phil’s office. The walls were packed with pictures of Ireland. A place I’d always wanted to visit. We had Irish in us from our daddy’s side, and I’d wanted to discover everything about them after I’d read Amy Harmon’s What the Wind Knows and read about her own journey through her family’s history.

  I knocked on Phil’s door. He called out, “Enter,” and we went inside. Phil’s grandparents had come from Ireland, and he’d taken over the bar when they’d passed away. He didn’t have a hint of the charm or the Irish brogue they’d had. No, Phil was something else entirely.

  “Ginny Waters, what brings ya into my office?” he asked, leaning back in his chair, arms going up until his hands locked behind his head. He was twice my age, but he seemed to flirt anyway. It was his thing. Like my cousin, Dalton. No harm, no foul, but tons of smiles and innuendos that would never be acted on.

  “The Elks Lodge roof fell in,” I told him.

  He chuckled. “No shit? What’s that got to do with you?”

  “Edie had it rented out for New Year’s Eve. We’re having a surprise party for a bunch of the family that’s turning fifty this year,” I told him.

  He sat up, bringing his hands to the desk. “I’m not sure how I can help.”

  “I know you have a bash here every year, but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask if we could rent out the bar.”

  He chuckled again. “Darlin’, that’s one of my best grossin’ nights of the year. I know your family has the dough for it, but my clients would be awfully pissed if I closed down just for y’all.”

  I felt Cole stiffen next to me as if he were taking offense at Phil’s easy banter. I risked a glance from the corner of my eye, and sure enough, he’d straightened to his full height, towering over me like a giant compared to my leprechaun status. He crossed his hands over his chest in a stance I recognized from my brother and male cousins. All testosterone-filled dominance.

  “I figured,” I said. It had been worth asking just so I could tell Edie we hadn’t left a stone unturned. “Thanks, anyway.”

  I turned to go, but Phil’s words stopped me as he rose from his chair. “I might have something that would work, though.”

  “Really?” I asked.

  “Yeah, but it isn’t pretty,” he said, looking down into my face as he joined Cole and me by the door. “You still wanna take a look?”

  I nodded, hope filling me. All we needed was someplace dry, fairly warm, and big enough to hold the group. “Will it hold a hundred people?”

  “I don’t see why not,” Phil said, heading out of the office.

  I exchanged a glance with Cole, and then the two of us followed him. Phil opened the back door to the alley and led the way up metal stairs on the side of the building. He shuffled through a set of keys, before unlocking a steel door and going inside.

  Cole held the door for me again, like he had every single time we’d gone in and out of a building. I was used to male manners. My family was full of them, but it seemed strange to have it directed at me by someone who wasn’t my blood. Someone who was causing the hair on my arms to raise every time I brushed past him.

  I’d laughed when any of my friends had talked about having this kind of reaction to someone, just like I’d rolled my eyes at it whenever it was written like this in books. But the flare of magnetism and electricity wafting over my skin when I was near Cole was undeniable. I’d thought such things were made-up fairy tales. Enjoyable but hardly real, and now here I was, feeling it for this stranger.

  I forcibly put aside my thoughts and reactions in order to concentrate on the space in front of me. As my eyes adjusted to the dim light, I could see it was filled with boxes. Some full. Some empty. Dust coating everything. Phil shuffled around to a back wall where he hit a light switch that turned on two dim bulbs hanging from the low ceiling. So low all Cole would have to do was lift a hand, and he’d be able to touch it. In addition, the roofline sloped down toward the street side so that the windows there sat on the floor, barely waist high. The room was basically glorified storage.

  Cole and I exchanged a look as Phil made his way back to us.

  “This is it?” I said, trying to keep the shock out of my voice.

  He nodded. “I know it isn’t much. But if it was cleared out, it would easily fit a hundred or so people. The fire marshall wouldn’t even blink an eye at it.”

  I looked around doubtfully. “It’s a little full.”

  Phil flung an arm around my shoulders, smiled down at me, and said, “Well, now there’s the catch.”

  Cole coughed and stepped closer to me.

  “Spill it, Phil,” I said, squinting my eyes at him.

  He chuckled. “I’ve been meaning to get this all cleaned out for a long time so I could use it just for special events, but who has the time?”

  “You want them to clean it out for you,” Cole said. He had picked up on it quicker than I had, but I knew he was right as soon as he said it.

  Phil nodded. “Seems like a fair trade. I won’t even charge a rental fee. Plus, I’ll close my eyes when the alcohol for the party isn’t from the bar.”

  Phil squeezed my shoulder, hugging me into him, and I kind of froze, suddenly uncomfortable in a way I’d never been with him before. Cole seemed to notice, eyes narrowing. He grabbed my hand and tugged it. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”

  Phil let me go, and I resisted a shiver, both from the release of getting away from Phil, who smelled like a cologne factory and cigarettes rolled into one, and also at the soft touch of Cole’s fingers twined with mine, shooting little waves of power through my arm. My senses were on overload.

  Once we’d pretty much put the entire room between us,
Cole said quietly, “This guy has some nerve.”

  His face was almost comical in its disgust.

  I couldn’t help a smile.

  “It’s not like we have a lot of options,” I said reluctantly.

  The check-ins on our group text had not been good. Everyone had been turned down. Mayson was left, trying to argue with Mr. Clark about education codes and usage permits.

  “He just wants you for free labor. Look at this place. Is it even safe?” Cole said scornfully.

  I laughed. I couldn’t help it.

  “Are you afraid of a little dirt, City Boy?”

  It took a minute for him to register what I’d said, and then his face turned into a huge smile. “Did you just call me City Boy?”

  “I did. When was the last time you even got your hands dirty?”

  “Is this retaliation for me calling you dependable?”

  I laughed again. “No.”

  “It is, right? But I will have you know I surf all the time in L.A.”

  “Surfing is in the water. Water cleans you.”

  “Have you ever been surfing? You come out full of sand in places there shouldn’t be sand,” he said, and my brain went right to the places on him he was talking about. My whole face heated, and I thanked the Lord for the dim light as I turned my head away.

  My phone buzzed.

  MAYSON: It’s a no-go. There’s no way Clark will give in.

  TY: What a prick. I think we need to TP his house tonight.

  KHI: What are we going to do? And has anyone heard from Edie? I haven’t heard anything from her in the last thirty minutes.

  Khiley was right, and my worry turned from a place for the party to my cousin.

  ELIZA: We just heard from Grandma. She’s taken her to the hospital because the contractions are like ten minutes apart.

  Shit. Edie was having her baby. Without her husband. She had to have been flipping out. It made me more determined than ever to not let her down. She had bigger things on her mind to worry about. Or littler things. Tiny little things.

  ME: I think we might have found something.

  A wave of questions and exclamations came rushing back at me.

  ME: Before you start cheering. I think you should all check it out. Meet me at McFlannigan’s.

  TY: I knew Phil would come through.

  ME: As I said, don’t start cheering yet. Just meet me there.

  KHI: Mysterious. I like it.

  Phil jangled his keys, reminding us he was waiting. I turned and made my way back toward him with Cole following on my heels.

  “So?” Phil asked. “Do we got a deal?”

  “I want the gang to see it first. Is that okay?” I asked.

  He nodded, and we made our way out the door and back down the steps. I felt the need to wash my entire body, even though we hadn’t touched anything in the space. It was going to be a huge job. We had two days until the party if we didn’t count the actual thirty-first. We’d need every hour of them to get the crap moved out and the space cleaned and decorated.

  Back inside the bar, Phil joined the bartender, and Cole and I took a seat at the huge round table in the corner. Cole ordered a Guinness, asking if I wanted anything. I shook my head. I wasn’t twenty-one yet, and while my twin had no problem partaking, I wasn’t willing to get myself or Phil in trouble for serving to a minor.

  Then, I wanted to roll my eyes at myself, because it was exactly why Cole had thought I drove a white Camry. I was predictable. Dependable. Boring. My only solace from our whole conversation was in knowing he was wrong. Not only about my car, which had been a splurge, but also about me. I’d done things that no one in my family even knew about. Like jumping from a plane.

  Cole took a sip and then sighed, a huge sigh, leaning back in the chair. He had foam clinging to his top lip, and I had to physically restrain myself from leaning over and using my thumb to wipe it off. It was a ridiculous urge.

  I pointed to my lip. “You have…”

  He smiled and used a bar napkin to wipe it off. “It’s almost half the fun. Knowing the beer is thick enough for the foam to just sit there.”

  “I wouldn’t have taken you for a Guinness drinker,” I said. He hadn’t seemed snobby enough. At UTK, the guys who drank anything other than cheap, American beer were the ones who used their knowledge of alcohol as some sort of bragging point.

  “So, you’re making an assumption about me based on my beer choice?”

  “You made an assumption about me based on what vehicle you think I drive.”

  He smiled, a knowing smile, one I wanted to wipe off his face with something random and daring. Instead, I flipped my phone over and over on the table, and it drew his eyes. I stopped, putting my hands in my lap and squeezing my legs to keep my fingers from moving again.

  “Where’d you pick up the love of Guinness?” I asked.

  “Ireland.”

  My eyes widened. “You’ve been there?”

  He nodded his head.

  “I’ve been wanting to go for ages,” I said, excitement coursing through me. “Where have you been? What’s your favorite place? What would you do again?”

  He laughed. “That’s a lot of questions. If you’ve wanted to go, why haven’t you?”

  “No time.”

  He frowned. “What’s wrong with summer or spring break?”

  I was shaking my head. “No, I usually help cover at the dealership so the people who have families get some time off.”

  He put his elbows on the table and leaned in toward me so our faces were only inches apart. “Dependable. So, when exactly do you have this fun you talked about?”

  I wanted to shout out all the incredible things I’d done, but I couldn’t. The list of adventures I wanted to have was long, and while I knew for certain I’d someday cross them off, up until now I’d only made a small dent in them.

  I’d thought for sure I’d have crossed off a couple more at UTK. For example, the “Have a one-night stand” should have been a no-brainer, living in the dorms as a freshman. Except, trying to achieve it hadn’t been as much fun as I’d expected. Especially when I’d never found myself turned on by any of the drunken boys who thought they were men.

  This man…this one sitting with his lips so close to mine I could lean forward and taste the Guinness off of them…he was the only man who’d ever crashed my skin and bones with awareness. With a desire and longing. I’d almost thought it wasn’t in the cards. I’d started reading up on asexuality, wondering about myself, and yet also not feeling like it fit me. And now…with my blood coursing through my veins at a pace that caused me to become dizzy just sitting there, I knew the truth.

  I’d do anything on my list with him. Anything.

  Cole

  WHAT ARE YOU DOING NEW YEAR’S EVE?

  “Maybe I'm crazy to suppose

  I'd ever be the one you chose.”

  Performed by Idina Menzel

  Written by Frank Loesser

  Her lips were so close that they could almost meet mine just by breathing. She was thinking again. I noticed she did it a lot. You could almost see the dialogue running in her head, and I wondered what it sounded like. What were the words? Was she trying to hold herself back as much as I was?

  “I have fun,” she said, but it lacked much conviction. Her eyes toured to my lips and back.

  “Prove it,” I responded before even thinking about it.

  Her eyes widened. “Excuse me?”

  “Kiss me.”

  Her mouth popped open in surprise, and her sweet breath flashed over me. Maple syrup, or maybe fudge, since it was the holidays. It was tempting to close my eyes and savor it, but I didn’t. Instead, I locked them on hers until her cheeks turned pink again. Which only made me wonder how pink they would turn if I was actually touching her in all her intimate places.

  The bar door banged opened, and she withdrew. I cursed whomever it was. Cursed it more when I
saw it was the ego man and his blonde girlfriend. He and Phil exchanged a wave and a hello as the couple made their way to us.

  “Well, that was a complete loss. I think the barn is the only choice,” Ty said, sliding into the seat next to me.

  Ginny was shaking her head.

  The door flew open again. The storm that had been brewing outside was making itself known. I could almost feel the bite of the wind all the way at the back of the room.

  More of the gang wandered in, including Mayson and Grace, who still had their hands joined together like they’d never been apart. I was happy for them. Happy for Grace that Mayson had apologized, and she’d accepted. They belonged together. But if he hurt her again, I’d personally murder him in his sleep.

  “So, what’s the big mystery?” Khiley asked.

  “I’m going to take them up, okay, Phil?” Ginny hollered. The older man just waved with a creepy smile, taking in her curves all over again. Like he had since the moment she’d walked into his office. None of the men in her family seemed to notice. Maybe they just didn’t expect it when he was old enough to be her dad.

  We made our way outside and back up into the grimy storage room Phil had shown us just a few minutes before.

  “You’ve got to be shittin’ me,” Ty said once they’d all entered the dust bunny collector’s museum.

  “It’s inside, and it’s big enough. If we decorated, it could be really quaint,” Ginny said, defending the space.

  “We don’t really have a choice unless we want to let one of the parents in on the secret and have it at one of our houses,” Stephen responded.

  “Edie will shoot out a second kid if we do that,” Khiley protested. “She’s worked hard to keep it a surprise.”

  “I wish we could ask her,” Eliza said wistfully.

  “We are not bugging her while she’s having a baby,” Stephen said resolutely.

  “Look. It’s free. It’s heated. It’s ours. All we have to do is give it a little elbow grease,” Ginny insisted.

  “You sound like Grandma,” Khi said with a smile.

  I saw Ginny bristle at the comment like when I’d called her dependable. As if the qualities I’d stated were bad qualities. Her family obviously saw her in a similar light, but calling her a grandmother only annoyed her.