The Complete Madion War Trilogy

by S. Usher Evans

  I might never have crashed on that island and met my amichai.

  I flipped the map over to display the four countries. Herin and Jervan shared a continent to the east of Rave—Herin to the north and Jervan to the south. Rave was a tiny island compared to them, and to Kylae, which loomed over all the other countries in the west. I placed my finger on Norose, where my amichai was sleeping tonight.

  Tears pricked at my eyes and I let them fall. I traced the distance between him and me. On this map, it was only finger-lengths. In reality, there was so much more standing between us.

  I traced the path our planes had taken on that fateful day. North from Vinolas a few hundred miles, to between the coasts of Herin and Kylae. I wasn't completely sure where we'd landed, having been too preoccupied with shooting down the princeling to note my location. At the time, I would have given anything for this luxurious apartment, but now...now I missed it. I missed him.

  I missed waking up to the smell of cooking rabbit meat and the proud grin he shared only with me. I longed for the days when we just talked, sharing stories about our childhoods, his family, my life in Rave. I wished for more than the few precious hours after we'd confessed our love for each other, when we'd showed how much we truly cared in the most intimate and breathless ways.

  If only my dreams could be filled with that instead of the nightmares that plagued me every night. I wanted to dream about his hands, not those of the Kylaen guard. I wanted to envision his face, not the man who'd walked into his own execution rather than die the slow, painful death of barethium poisoning. I wanted to dream of how he smelled, not the stench of Mael.

  It rose from my memory and I gagged, jumping to my feet and running to the nearest trashcan. After my stomach was empty again, I shook on the cold linoleum floor, begging my mind to stop reminding me of things I wanted to forget.

  There was no one to offer me comfort, as I dared not mention my nightmares to anyone. I was afraid that if I did, there might be more questions. But if I were truly honest with myself, it was more than just the fear of being found a fraud. A nagging guilt ate at me. I'd survived Mael, but there was no justice in it. My whole life, I'd believed surviving for as long as I had meant I was made for something greater, but I couldn't seem to accept that anymore. I'd survived merely because a man I fell in love with had the resources to get me out of the death camp.

  Some part of me, the one that had been so hellbent on supporting Rave even when I knew the battle was hopeless, hated him. Hated him, his father, his country, and how they continued to force Rave into battle. Hated that he'd promised me he'd come for me, that he'd close down Mael, and had done neither.

  But another, stronger part of me still loved him. No matter how much I tried to convince myself that I was better off forgetting him, forgetting the island...I couldn't. As bad as Mael was, as much as it haunted me, it was tinged with the beautiful memory of him. The island was our respite from all of that, a place where we'd forgotten about the war and just loved each other.

  He was the one good thing I ever had.

  More tears slipped down my face and the pain of missing him dragged me deeper and deeper into despair. I grabbed the bottle and took three long gulps, coughing as the liquid burned on the way down.

  Tilting my head back, I glanced up at the moon. It was full and bright, reminding me of nights when it was our only light. I took another, less desperate sip, and wondered if he was looking at it, too.

  Galian

  Damn, the moon was bright tonight.

  I stared at it longingly when I could spare a moment from the idle conversations about the interests of the most powerful men and women in Kylae. In a perfect world, perhaps, they'd be concerned about the number of planes my father sent to bomb Rave every week. But most of the conversations revolved around art openings and which socialite was found in the wrong bed. The only topic I was mildly interested in was the upcoming trade agreement with Jervan. This party was celebrating the commissioning of a huge shipping frigate to carry Jervan's wheat across the Madion Sea, paid for by one of Kylae's wealthiest shipping magnates and my father.

  The man of the hour, Silas Collins, was a national hero, so the conversation went. Collins would lower the cost of food and strengthen Kylae's economic engine. Collins was single-handedly bringing trade and jobs to the port city of Duran. Collins was...I downed my champagne because I just couldn't stomach much more of this.

  "Smile, Gally, it's a party." Rhys, my oldest brother, joined me on the fringes of the party, replacing my empty glass with a fresh one. He wore a uniform similar to mine, and his brown hair cut closer in the military style. We both resembled our mother, whereas our late brother Digory had been thick and brutish like my father.

  "Careful, Rhys, the media'll get wind of you serving drinks and they'll call it a new career," I said lazily, examining the drink he'd given me. "Your part-time job at the radar tower is boring them."

  "I think they'll be more shocked that you returned to the castle," Rhys replied. "Is your great feud with Father over?"

  My gaze darted over to the front of the room, where my parents sat on their thrones receiving guests. My mother was radiant, smiling and graciously greeting all the richest bastards in my country, whereas my father seemed more distant. I hadn't as much as inched in that direction since I'd arrived half an hour before, and I had no plans on going any closer.

  "I was threatened with bodily harm if I did not attend."

  "I do like that Kader," Rhys said with a grin that quickly disappeared. "It's damned good to see you, regardless." His eyes remained focused on the crowd, but his voice rose a bit with emotion. "We pulled you off that island and...it's like we lost you all over again."

  I looked at my champagne, considering how much I'd have to drink to not regret it in the morning. "Anything happening up that way?"

  "Nothing—Raven or otherwise—has passed the airspace over your island," Rhys said with a loud sigh. "Do you realize this is the first time I've seen you in almost four months? We haven't even had a conversation."

  "Work's been keeping me busy."

  "Bullshit."

  "What do you want me to say?" I said, glancing at the front of the room again. "I can't stand to live under his roof. I can barely stand to live in his country." I wrenched my gaze away. "Not after what he did to me. To her."

  "Gal, one of these days, you're gonna have to let her go," Rhys said. "She's Bayard's now. Maybe she had feelings for you at one time, but now...now the Ravens are probably pumping her head full of lies."

  My grip tightened on the stem of the glass, and I downed what was left of my drink. "Whatever, Rhys." I placed the empty glass on the tray of a passing waiter and strode toward the thick crowd of people.

  "Galian..." Rhys called after me, but I lost his voice in the conversations around me. My appearance at a palace event was somewhat of a conversation topic, and no less than four people stopped me to remark on it.

  All were young women, dressed in their finest low-cut gowns with painted faces and coiffed hair. From their expressions, I guessed my mother had informed them I would be in attendance, which had prompted them to line up around me. In my younger days, I might've continued drinking and taken my time choosing which I'd be taking back to my room.

  "Was that between your debauchery and socialite girlfriends?"

  Theo's voice in my mind took me out of the room and back to the island. A waiter walked by with skewers of meat on sticks, and I could taste charred rabbit on my tongue. The roaring fires burning in the hearths reminded me of the way the firelight used to flicker in her brown eyes. The green of a socialite's dress was the same shade as the forest that was our home. Our sanctuary.

  "Your Highness, is everything all right?" Olivia Collins, Silas' very eligible and very beautiful daughter, stood in front of me, resplendent in her sky blue dress. Her strawberry blonde hair was pulled back in a twist, and delicate diamonds hung from her ears. My eyes briefly drifted down to her bust, noting that she
wasn't offering her breasts to me like the rest of these girls.

  Then again, Olivia didn't have to try very hard. She was the current frontrunner to be my girlfriend—I wasn't sure if by her hand or the media's. She played the part admirably, taking tea with my mother and nearly gluing herself to my side whenever we were in public together. Part of the reason I kept myself out of the public's eye.

  "It's just lovely, this event your father has thrown for Daddy," she said, looping her arm through mine. With so many eyes on me, I didn't have the heart to remove it.

  "Lovely, yeah."

  "I do hope that Daddy will take some time off now. He's worked so hard on this agreement for nearly half my life. I don't recall a time we weren't at the shipyard."

  I resisted a snort. Like this girl would ever set foot in a shipyard. I found myself comparing her to Theo, as I did with every woman who flirted with me. Theo would've mopped the floor with her with one of her signature "are-you-kidding-me" looks. God, I missed those looks, even if they were usually directed at me.

  "...the trade agreement has just been ghastly. Father is, of course, loyal to Kylae, but the Jervanian representatives have given him the runaround. They want twenty crowns a bushel for wheat, can you believe that? Cheaper to grow it ourselves."

  I stifled a yawn.

  "You don't know why your father is so dead-set on this trade agreement, do you?" she asked with a sly look.

  "Nope. I'm too busy pulling shit out of people's asses at the hospital."

  She laughed, and I could practically feel her forcing it out. This girl didn't think I was charming or attractive, but she was trying her best. I caught my mother's eye across the room and she nodded her approval. Swallowing my annoyance, I turned back to the young woman in front of me and struggled to find something intelligent to say to her.

  The only thing I could come up with was that I used to be so much better at all this.

  "Your Highness—"

  "Galian," I said. That was a start, at least. "I prefer Galian."

  She blushed demurely, almost as if on cue, and took a dainty sip of her drink. "Very well, Galian, I was wondering if you were planning on attending the latest Kaines play in the theater district?"

  "I..." Plays made me want to gouge my eyes out. "I hadn't thought about it. Getting good reviews?"

  "Oh, the best, you must see it soon," she said, with a flirtatious bat of her eyelashes.

  I stared at her for a moment before realizing she wanted me to ask her to the play. I suppressed a groan and scrambled for an excuse. "Unfortunately, the hospital keeps me busy. I have a few late night shifts."

  She sighed and shook her head. "You have a good heart, serving your countrymen. Kylae is lucky to have such a thoughtful prince."

  That wince I couldn't keep hidden. I wasn't thoughtful or kind, or any of that. Not really, not when the children from Kylae's slums were working in a death camp sanctioned by the very people in this room. Not when I'd promised Theo I would come for her, and...

  "If you'll excuse me," I said, placing my now-empty glass on the serving tray and walking toward the open balcony on the other side of the room.

  The fresh air hit my face, and I unbuttoned my tight collar in relief. Straining my eyes in the darkness, I looked for any sign of Rave in the distance. But just like my girl, her country was out of reach.

  I pressed my head against the cold stone railing and sighed.

  "Not having a good time, my darling?"

  My mother had joined me on the balcony. She looked beautiful tonight, with her regal gold gown and the delicate crown atop her head.

  "I saw you with Olivia," she said. "Charming girl."

  I grimaced, sensing where this conversation was going. "Mom, I've had a long day. I'm not in the mood—"

  "Do you remember Mr. Gumbles?"

  "My old teddy bear?"

  "When you were four," she said, gently placing her perfectly manicured hands on the railing. "You wouldn't let him out of your sight. You even made me put him on the sink while I gave you a bath."

  I gave her a dubious look appropriate for a man my age talking about a teddy bear, but she shrugged lightly.

  "On your fifth birthday, we had a big party for you—do you remember?" she asked me with a nostalgic smile. "And Digory, rest his soul," she looked up at the moon when she mentioned my late brother, "Digory was so jealous of the attention that he stole your teddy bear and threw it into the ocean."

  I turned away, remembering how I'd told this same story to Theo once on a rainy day. The ache in my heart returned with a vengeance.

  "You were inconsolable," she said, emphasizing the word so I knew just how much of a fuss I'd made. "You didn't want any of your toys, or any of your friends. We had to cancel the party altogether because you refused to come out of your room."

  I blushed as she grinned at me.

  "Is there a point to this embarrassing story?"

  "Yes, son," she said, patting my arm. "You asked if we'd found Mr. Gumbles every single morning for a year. Every morning, you would come into the playroom and say, 'Momma, did he come back?'" She cooed at me. "It was precious, and it broke my heart."

  "Point?"

  "One day, you just...stopped asking," she said, sounding like the idea surprised her, even two decades later. "You found some other toy to play with, and you were back to my beautiful, happy baby boy."

  I nodded, finally seeing her point. "And so you think that this is the same?"

  "I think that you loved that girl very much," she said and my heart hurt at the thought of it. "But I also think that one day you'll forget about her the same way you forgot about Mr. Gumbles."

  I pushed myself off the balcony.

  "Gally," she called after me.

  "One question, Mom," I said, turning to look at her. "Did I ever love anything as much as Mr. Gumbles again?"

  She opened her mouth, and nothing but a sigh came out.

  "Can I go home now? I have a long day at the hospital tomorrow."

  "Of course, son." She smiled lovingly. "It was very good to see you tonight. I miss you."

  "I miss you, too," I said, but she didn't ask me to come home. For that, I was grateful. I hated saying no to my mother.

  THREE

  Theo

  The car rolled to a stop, and I rubbed my face to wake up. My head pounded and my mouth was dry, but there would be photographers at this event—yet another commissioning ceremony for a crop of young pilots—and I needed to look presentable. Running my hands along the top of my head, I smoothed the stray hairs into my bun. I rubbed under my eyes, feeling the puffy dark circles and the concealer I'd added to mask them.

  The door opened, and the light made me wince. I pulled my sunglasses over my face and stepped out, searching for the newspaper reporters and saw none. That was concerning. My first event had been swarming in photographers, but ever since, there'd been fewer and fewer. In order for me to maintain my status at Bayard's side, I needed to draw attention to myself. Unfortunately, I was at a loss on how to do that.

  The airfield was similar to the one where I'd flown before the island. Most Raven airfields, I'd come to learn, were vestiges of Kylaen rule. While Veres had seen upgrades and new construction, the rest of the country, the parts where I'd grown up and learned to fly, remained stagnant. Even the hangar where I'd be "inspecting" our newest aviators and pinning on their wings still bore the shadow of the Kylaen crest. At one time, I'd have thought the crowned lion was meant to remind us of who we were fighting against and what for, but now I knew better.

  "Major Kallistrate!"

  A harried-looking teenager wearing captains' bars rushed up to me. He looked barely sixteen; perhaps he'd become the favorite and ascended rank as I had done. I could see myself in him, the worried bags under his eyes, the youth that clung to him while he struggled to remain in charge. This was a new assignment for him, and he was carrying the weight of twenty souls on his shoulders.

  "Captain." I nodded my greet
ing to him when he half-heartedly saluted me.

  "We are so honored you've agreed to attend our first flight demonstration," he said, as he'd been instructed to say.

  "Has the media arrived yet?" I asked, peering around hopefully.

  "N-no, I don't think anyone is coming. Were they supposed to?" He ran his hands through his short-cropped hair.

  "No," I said, swallowing my own disappointment to keep him from thinking he'd done something wrong. "Shall we?"

  The captain, named Govine, took me on the same tour I'd been on six times already at different bases, and the same one I'd had to give when I was a young captain in Vinolas. We started in the hangar, where the line of Raven planes had been lined up in almost perfect formation. They were the same models I used to fly, and seeing them always twisted my heart a little. I missed the thrill of flying, but I hadn't as much as sat in a plane since my crash.

  "How many mechanics do you have on staff here?" I asked, walking up to one of the planes.

  "Ten," Govine replied. "We've asked for more, as we've got near two hundred planes here, but—"

  "I know how that goes," I said, shedding my jacket and tossing it on the wing of a plane. I wasn't supposed to do more than just look at the planes, but I couldn't help myself. I knew the risks of flying planes that weren't well-maintained.

  I opened the hatch to the engine, calling for Govine to hand me a socket wrench. I checked the oil and tightened a few nuts that had come loose. It wasn't a full inspection, but I felt like I'd done something.

  "Major," Govine said, holding his hands nervously. "Major, I don't want to keep you from the rest of your schedule. The pilots are ready, if you'll join me outside."

  I was about to argue that I could be much more useful working on the rest of the fifty planes, but I heaved out a breath. That wasn't what I was there to do, and I had my orders.