The Complete Madion War Trilogy

by S. Usher Evans

"Hm?"

  "Theo," Kader's voice echoed across the room. "We need to get going."

  She nodded, as if she'd been waiting for the order all day. Then, without as much as a goodbye glance, she crossed the room, nodding to my mother before walking out the door with Kader.

  The air left my chest, and I stared at the space she'd vacated. "Theo was just here, right?"

  "That poor girl," Mom tutted, joining me at the window. "Kader says she's a mess. They both are."

  "She didn't even look at me," I said hollowly.

  "Darling, Theo's got a lot on her plate right now," Mom replied, placing a gentle hand on my back. "She and Kader were both looking forward to a few days of rest. Theo is very upset that she can't remember what Anson said."

  That could've been it, but I didn't think so. There was something else she wasn't telling me. And I'd be damned if she'd go back to Rave before she told me what it was.

  "Where are you going, son?" Mom asked as I marched toward the door.

  "I need Johar to give me a ride."

  Theo

  "Well, shit," Kader said as we sat in his car.

  Shit indeed. As if my nerves weren't frayed enough, now there was the additional pressure of knowing our already risky journey into Rave was even more difficult. I couldn't even think about what it meant that Grieg was ending the last bit of trade with Herin; my mind was too full of other worries.

  Our entire mission rested on a stupid memory I couldn't recall. I'd spent six months wishing I could be helpful and now that I had the chance, I was coming up short.

  For the billionth time, I brought myself back to that day. The coldness of the wind, the worry that I was squandering my chance with Bayard, the fear when the man had approached me...then everything got fuzzy. I couldn't even picture his face.

  Kader had stopped offering platitudes somewhere over the Madion Sea on the way back to Kylae, as I'd snapped at him that he wasn't helping. I'd been looking forward to a few days in Rosie's guest room to sleep, think, and relax. But now, all I would get was a few hours of restlessness before we had to get right back on a plane.

  "Don't worry about the airplane part shipment. We'll figure something else out," Kader said, breaking the silence of the car. "We've been sneaking into Rave for decades. There's more than one way."

  I nodded, but couldn't find it within me to say anything.

  "Theo, you'll remember. I have faith in you." When I didn't respond, he said, "And the queen gave me enough crowns that even if you don't, we can bribe our way in."

  The car rolled to a stop at an intersection. "When do we leave tomorrow?"

  A sigh, almost inaudible. "Early."

  We drove the rest of the way in silence, each of us trapped in our own worlds of worry and frustration. When Kader parked the car underneath his apartment building, I almost didn't want to get out. I couldn't possibly watch him greet Rosie, not when I'd left Galian without as much as a goodbye.

  Even worse, I couldn't feel guilty about it.

  The pressure in the back of my skull built and I struggled to keep my frustrated tears from falling as we walked into the lift. How many hours of sleep would I get before he'd be shaking me awake? Not nearly enough. The elevator doors opened and I followed Kader into the hall, already dreading Rosie's questions, the concern that might break the dam on my frustration, and the sound of her disappointment when Kader told her we'd be leaving in the morning.

  Kader unlocked the door, and I scratched at the makeup on my skin. Perhaps a shower wouldn't be so bad, after all. Maybe I could drown myself in it.

  "Hey, beautiful."

  I nearly tripped over my feet, sure that I'd misheard. But unless my eyes were playing tricks on me, Galian was sitting in the center of Rosie's apartment, sharing a glass of wine with her, and offering me a bright, if not a little coy, smile.

  "What are you doing here?" Kader asked, sounding similarly surprised.

  "Since you two can't be bothered to stay at the castle, thought I'd come to you," Galian said, sharing a knowing look with Rosie.

  She pecked him on the cheek and stood. "Eli, dear, we're going for a walk," she announced, threading her arm through his. Kader's confusion was mirrored by my own, as we glanced between our respective other halves. But Rosie tugged him gently out the door, with a wink to Galian as she closed it behind them.

  I turned back to Galian, who stood with a second glass of wine in his hand. "Well? What's bothering you? We've got exactly three hours to hash it out."

  Out of emotional energy, I burst into tears.

  Galian

  Theo stood before me, shaking, her face buried in her hands. I set down the wine and crossed the room, gathering her into my arms. Relief washed over me when she returned my embrace. I'd been a little scared she'd push me away again.

  "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she whispered, her lips puffy and trembling.

  "There's nothing to apologize for," I said. "Just talk to me."

  "No, I just wanna kiss you," she said, pressing her lips to mine.

  She tasted of chalky makeup and salty tears, but it had been too long since we'd been together like this. I crushed her to me and found the warm skin under her shirt. But there was something off. Her kisses seemed almost too desperate; there was a fake passion behind them.

  "Theo," I said, pulling away. "Let's talk first."

  "No," she murmured, not meeting my gaze as she tried to kiss me again.

  "Theo, something's bothering you."

  "Just kiss me—"

  I sighed. "I'm not going to force you to sleep with me."

  "No, I want to." But the tone of her voice was anything but breathy, her eyes focused on the floor with a faraway look.

  "It's kind of hard to take you seriously when you keep crying," I said, although I was only half-joking. "Theo, you wouldn't even look at me. Are you...are you mad at me?"

  "No, it's not you..." She sank down onto the couch and buried her head in her hands. "I'm just... I don't know, Galian."

  Galian. It was the first time she'd called me that in... "Theo, please don't shut me out. Tell me what's going on. Whatever it is, I promise...I promise I won't be mad or upset. I just want to know."

  She took a shaky breath. "When I was over there, I didn't ever look at the moon."

  "Come again?"

  "You told me to look at the moon when I was sad, but I didn't because all I could think about was the mission and Anson and worrying about whether I was being useful, and some part of me wonders why..." She rubbed her face, glaring at the makeup that came off with it. "And now you're here and...and I can't stop crying. I should be happy. I should be kissing you and forgetting all my troubles. But I can't and I just..."

  I released a loud sigh of relief. "Theo, for fuck's sake. That's what you're worried about? The fact that you didn't think of me while you were sneaking around Rave?"

  Teary-eyed, she finally looked at me, and I plopped down next to her with a smile.

  "If you think for one second that I feel bad I wasn't at the forefront of your mind this whole time...well, then...you don't know me very well at all."

  "B-but what if...what if..." She released a loud sigh. "What if it means I don't love you anymore?"

  I shrugged, ignoring how that nearly stopped my heart. "Then I'll just make you fall back in love with me. I did it once before. And you actually hated me then..."

  Instead of making her laugh, my joke just made her cry more. "I don't even know what I feel right now. I'm so...so damned frustrated."

  I placed my hand on the small of her back and rubbed gently. "That's why I came, Theo. I want to help you. We'll figure this out together, okay?"

  She rubbed her face, looking at the makeup smearing off. "I've been trying. I can't remember anything about it. I just remember..." She growled.

  "Okay, okay," I said gently. "Let's start with something easy. What did you have for breakfast that morning?"

  She snorted. "Funny."

  I was heartened, a little
bit. "Fine, that's too hard. Tell me what happened that day? How'd you end up wherever he met you?"

  I thought she might snap at me, but instead she said, "It was my day off. I wanted to take a walk because...because I was worried about a lot of things, and the apartment was suffocating."

  "Good start." I took her makeup-covered hand in mine, and she didn't pull away. "What were you worried about then?"

  "I was worried about you," she said, her voice even. "Worried that you weren't doing enough, but at the same time, I wasn't doing enough. I was frustrated because Bayard seemed to say one thing and do another. I was already noticing the disparity in the country, and it made me uneasy."

  "Uh-huh."

  "Then this man approached me. He said..." She furrowed her brow.

  "It's okay, don't push it," I said, drawing circles on her palm. "What did he look like?"

  "Not like a rebel leader. He looked like a regular guy. Long hair, patched up jacket. But he seemed...I guess I should've known he was someone important. His face was... I don't know how to explain it, but looking back on it, I remember him being somewhat curious."

  "How did he approach you?"

  "I think he said something about it being a cold day," she said, shaking her head as if that weren't right. "But he started talking about Bayard's unfulfilled promises, and I knew that he wasn't someone I needed to talk with. So I left as quickly as I could."

  I doubted that the message had anything to do with Bayard. "What did he say about the day?"

  "It wasn't the day," she said slowly. "It was the Madion Sea. It looked kind of like it did on our island." Her eyes flew open. "Something about trouble. It was poetic. I mean, that fits, right? He's always using symbols. Maybe it was a line from a poem?"

  A memory from long ago jumped into my head. "Wait a second," I said, closing my eyes and thinking. "Something like...Madion Sea is calm, but dangerous underneath?"

  I heard the sharp intake of breath. "Y-yes. Where—"

  "It's a poem, I think," I said, standing and pacing the room as I jogged my memory. "Remember the teddy bear Digory threw into the ocean?"

  "Maybe?"

  "I had this teddy bear," I said with a small blush. "And Dig threw it into the ocean. I never forgave him for it. But when I was a kid, I read a book of poems about the Madion Sea, and that line—about the dangers—I always had this vision of Mr. Gumbles hanging out with some evil sea creatures..." I trailed off at the amused look on her face.

  "Mister...what?"

  "Gum—It doesn't matter what his name was," I said, my cheeks burning as I sat down next to her. "The point is, I remember the line. It's something like—"

  "There's always something dangerous beneath the ocean—even when the surface is calm," she said, a bright smile growing on her face as she stood. "Amichai, I think that's what he said. Or close enough to it."

  "That's—" I couldn't get the rest of my sentence out, because she kissed me, the fiery, passionate kind of kiss I'd come to expect from her.

  She sat back and her eyes sparkled with excitement and relief. "You're brilliant, do you know that?"

  "Yes, I am aware of how incredible I am," I said with a cheesy grin.

  Her eyeroll was dramatic and welcome. "Woooow. And here I thought you were done with the pompous princeling act."

  I grabbed the front of her shirt and pressed my lips to hers, but she pushed away almost immediately with a disgusted look on her face as she licked her lips.

  "This makeup is gross."

  "Want some help getting it off in the shower?" I asked innocently.

  "It or me?"

  My mouth fell open. She slid off the couch, taking both of my hands and leading me toward the bathroom with a sly, devilish grin.

  NINE

  Theo

  I was drunk with happiness and relief, and hopeful for the future for the first time in months. I was brimming with gratefulness for Galian, for his patience, for his unwavering belief in me. Once again, he'd taken my jumbled mess of fears and anxieties and helped me through them. And now there was nothing left to do but make good use of the hours given to us.

  Because for the first time in six months, we actually had a few hours. Just that thought alone pooled warmth between my legs as I guided him toward the small, cramped bathroom.

  I hadn't even closed the door before I found myself pressed against it, Galian's mouth over mine and his hands dancing along the skin of my lower back. I shivered and my breath grew shorter as he removed my shirt, unbuckled my pants, and slid my underwear down to the floor. He stepped back from me, an amused look on his face.

  "What?"

  "Look at yourself in the mirror."

  I craned my neck around him and saw my naked body. My face, neck, and collarbones were pale, although they'd become streaked from the tears. I was a multicolored freak.

  "How about we get you nice and clean?" he said, turning on the water in the shower.

  I grinned and pulled him back to me, helping him remove his clothes, which joined mine in a pile on the floor. I couldn't help myself as I ran my fingers along the ridges and valleys of his chest, reminding myself of the man I'd fallen in love with. His scent, so familiar and comforting, wrapped me up in a warm embrace as I breathed him in.

  The water was warm, and the rest of my worries washed away as I leaned against the tile wall. Galian retrieved a washcloth and wet it under the shower head. Then he drew close to me, placing a warm hand on my hip and sliding the rough texture of the cloth along the sensitive part of my neck. With long, deliberate strokes, he wiped away the remnants of my makeup. Every few moments, he paused to press a kiss a spot or, God help me, run his tongue along my skin.

  He tilted my head down to meet his gaze, and held it as he wiped away the tears and makeup on my face. There was playfulness in his eyes, but also longing. And love. The warmth in my chest grew hot, and I closed the distance between us, but he pushed me back to the wall gently.

  "I'm not done yet."

  He lifted my right hand, where most of the makeup washed off already, and cleaned it as slowly as the rest of me, kissing the tips of my fingers. When he finished, he placed it on his chest and began working on the left. But I was no longer content to be toyed with without reciprocation, so I slid my hand down the front of his body, dancing along the lines of his groin before circling his erection.

  He sucked in a loud breath and swallowed.

  "Are you all right?" My voice came out in a whisper, and it must've proven too much, for he closed the distance between us, pressing himself fully against me and crushing me against the slick tile. His kisses came ferociously, hungrily taking all that he'd missed the past six months. And I returned them with my own, threading my hands through his hair and pulling him closer to me as I wrapped one leg around him.

  "I want to make this last," he panted against my lips. "But it's been a long time..."

  "And Kader and Rosie might come home soon," I replied with an eager smile.

  "I might come soon," he said. "But...I don't want to—"

  "I don't want to wait anymore," I said, and I meant it. I guided him toward me and as he slid into me, I gasped in pleasure and relief, and he moaned softly. Tilting his head, he caught my gaze, and the sweet moment quickly turned playful as he grabbed my other leg.

  "Do you trust me?"

  "No," I said, gripping his shoulders anyway.

  He hooked a hand under my knee and lifted my second leg around him, a devilish look on his face.

  "Is this going to work?" I asked, deciding against asking if he'd done this before.

  "We'll find out, I guess." It took a moment to figure out the rhythm and the balance, but once we found it, I never wanted it to end. The sound of his groans in my ears, the feel of him, the warmth of the water and the steam, proved too much and stars exploded behind my eyes as my body rolled with pleasure. He thrusted twice more before groaning and slumping against me.

  Gently, he set me on the ground and we held each other,
panting and enjoying the aftermath. But the steam of the shower was growing uncomfortable for me, and, based on the redness of his cheeks, probably for him, as well.

  He turned off the water and grinned, a boyish smile that made my heart skip a beat. "Shall we continue this in your bedroom?"

  I grabbed a towel for myself and tossed one at him, drying my hair quickly before wrapping it around myself. "You know, we're hopelessly out of alignment."

  "Not neck, are we?"

  "N...neck? You mean niec?"

  "Yeah, neck. That means square, doesn't it?" He shrugged and smiled playfully. "Because, yet again, I've come to save the day?"

  "I'm serious, amichai. I don't like being in your debt."

  His playful smile faltered. "You called me ay-me-key."

  "So?"

  "You didn't before."

  I opened my mouth to question it, but the look on his face stopped me. It was still playful, but there was something deeper, too. Almost a little bit of relief, mixed with desperation. And it struck me that Galian needed me just as much as I needed him. For all his joking when I'd told him my fears that I'd fallen out of love with him, it had scared him.

  "Amichai," I said quietly. "I'm sorry."

  "For what?" The jovial princeling was back. "You'll just have to figure out a way to make us neck."

  I rolled my eyes. "Niec. Ni-yeck."

  "Nope, sorry. I just love Ravens, I can't speak their language. My tongue doesn't work that well."

  "Your tongue works just fine, if memory serves."

  He grabbed my hips and pressed me against the bathroom door. "Why don't I refresh it?"

  "Why don't we take this to the bedroom?"

  "Are Rosie and Kader back yet?"

  I spun in his arms and cracked the door to the apartment. When I saw no one, I grabbed his hand and we scurried to the bedroom.

  Galian

  We flung our wet towels on the ground and climbed onto the bed, stealing kisses as we went. I knelt over her, taking time to imprint her on my memory again. Our time together was so beautiful, and so infrequent, that the memories had to sustain me for the in-between. Her wet hair splayed out around her, her skin soft and supple from the shower. But the look on her face sent a dagger right to my heart, and I fell in love with her all over again.