A Fake Girlfriend for Chinese New Year

by Jackie Lau

  An hour later, it was time for the Pictionary finals.

  Team Hipster vs. Team Avocado Toast.

  Team Lawn Mower—Nick and Lily—had finished third, Team Wasabi in fourth place, and Team Hot Air Balloon in last place.

  “Aiyah,” Ah Ma said. “This happens every year. We never make the finals.”

  Zach’s grandparents had had a hilariously poor showing, but despite their digs at one another, they seemed to be having a good time.

  Jo was gearing herself up for the playoffs, but it wouldn’t be easy. She wasn’t sure she and Zach could win against a team that had gotten “society” in fifteen seconds.

  Seriously. Fifteen seconds!

  Jo and Zach were first. Jo drew, and Zach easily guessed “lyrics.” Team Avocado Toast wasn’t to be outdone, however, and got a point for “extra virgin olive oil.”

  Zach went up to the whiteboard next. After looking at Amber’s phone, he began drawing.

  “Airplane,” Jo said. It was clearly an airplane, though she doubted that was the word—it would be too easy. “Travel. Vacation. Trip.”

  Beside the airplane, Zach drew a stick figure lying in a bed, the sun shining above them, a suitcase on the floor beside them.

  “Jet lag?”

  This correct answer earned Jo a gorgeous smile.

  Team Avocado Toast was up. Rosemary guessed “standing ovation” from Stuart’s drawing in less than thirty seconds.

  “How many rounds are in the playoffs?” Lily asked.

  “Four,” Amber said. “If there’s a tie, we go to sudden death.”

  Now it was Jo’s turn to draw. Her heart was beating extra fast, even though it was only a game of Pictionary.

  Her word—or words, rather—was “time zone.”

  She drew a rough map of Canada and glanced at Zach. He was looking at the whiteboard in puzzlement.

  Hmm. Maybe it was a very crude map, but she wasn’t accustomed to having to draw their country from memory.

  Jo wasn’t sure what the time zones did in the territories, but she drew thick lines for the approximate time zone boundaries in the provinces, followed by a clock at three o’clock over BC, a clock showing four o’clock over Alberta, and a clock showing five o’clock over Saskatchewan and Manitoba.

  Come on, Zach. You can get this.

  “Cross-country,” he guessed. “Time. Clocks.”

  She drew a clock at six o’clock over Ontario, then circled most of Ontario and Quebec.

  “Eastern Standard Time?”

  She drew another circle around the Central Time Zone—at least, her best guess at where it was. Was she making a mess of this?

  “And that’s...” Amber began.

  “Time zone!” Zach said.

  “You got it!” Jo grinned and returned to the couch. “Good job, you.”

  “No, it was thanks to your wonderful drawing skills.”

  Jo said nothing, just gestured to the whiteboard, containing her horrible map of Canada. It looked even worse from a distance. Still, he gave her a quick kiss on the temple.

  Team Avocado Toast successfully guessed “cheater,” and now it was time for the final playoff round. Zach’s turn to draw. He frowned when he looked at the word on Amber’s phone.

  Shit. This was probably a hard one.

  Zach drew a wide cylinder, the circular faces horizontal, with a wavy line through the middle—was that supposed to be water? Next, he put a stick figure in the cylinder.

  “Tub,” Jo said. “Bathtub. Hot tub.”

  Zach drew another tub of water to the left, except there was no stick figure, and the water line was a little lower. He drew an arrow between the water line in the two tubs. To emphasize that it had moved, perhaps?

  Jo wasn’t sure what he was getting at, and dammit, she really wanted to win.

  Think, Jo. Think.

  But she had nothing.

  She stared at Zach and willed him to telepathically tell her the word. After all, she was convinced that was how Stuart and Rosemary had gotten some of their words so quickly.

  Unfortunately, she got distracted by Zach’s forearms. He’d pulled off his sweater and was now wearing just a T-shirt.

  Focus.

  Zach drew a speech bubble for the stick figure in the tub. Of course, he couldn’t actually write any words in it.

  Jo looked at the picture again. The water level had increased when the stick figure stepped into the tub. That was displacement. Discovered by Archimedes, right? She remembered learning that in high school science—Zach probably taught it to his students. And when Archimedes had stepped into his tub and suddenly understood displacement, he’d said...

  Zach circled the speech bubble.

  “Eureka!” Jo shouted.

  “Yes!” Zach ran to the couch and lifted her up, and once again, she found herself admiring his arms.

  He gave her a peck on the mouth, and now she was admiring his lips.

  It had seemed instinctive for him to rush over and kiss her. She couldn’t help the way that it warmed her heart.

  “You were amazing,” he whispered, and that sent tingles through her body.

  Rather than sitting next to her on the couch, he pulled her into his lap.

  “Get a room,” Amber muttered.

  Was Jo seducing Zach with her Pictionary skills?

  If she’d known this would work so well, she’d have done it ages ago.

  Team Hipster had managed to get all four words in the playoffs, but Team Avocado Toast still had a chance to tie.

  Indeed, they successfully got “climate.”

  “I think this is only the second time in Pictionary history that we’ve needed the sudden death round,” Nick said.

  Ah Ma patted Jo’s knee. “You are so good at this game.”

  Jo smiled, then walked up to the whiteboard on wobbly legs.

  They needed to get this. Somehow, she felt like everything depended on it.

  Unfortunately, her word was “shaft.”

  Shit. The first thing that popped into her head was, unfortunately, not something she wanted to draw in front of Zach’s family.

  “And...go,” Amber said.

  Jo stood there for a moment, unsure what to do, before she started drawing a mine shaft.

  “Tower?” Zach guessed once she had finished.

  She shook her head.

  Dammit, this wasn’t working. She drew a big “X” through her mine shaft and attempted to draw a shaft of light coming through a window.

  “Window,” he said. “Sunlight. Morning.”

  She looked at the time. They were past the halfway point. She needed a new plan.

  She really wanted to win, and her best chance was to draw a penis in front of Zach’s family.

  Did she dare?

  Chapter 7

  Zach watched as Jo quickly erased everything she’d drawn.

  He had zero idea what this word could be, but he was thrilled that he and Jo were close to defeating his parents. He and Amber had never beaten their parents in the playoffs. Nick and Greg had, but only once, and Zach suspected Mom and Dad had let them win.

  Jo, bless her, was the perfect partner who’d gotten more into this game than he’d expected. He’d rarely seen her so animated. It warmed his heart that she fit in with his family.

  But it doesn’t matter. It’s not real.

  He pushed aside his momentary disappointment and focused on the whiteboard.

  Jo drew a long object with two circles at the base of it. She added some wiggly lines on the balls.

  Because...those sure looked like balls, didn’t they?

  “Cactus,” he said, though that made no sense. That was an easy word, and she would have drawn a sensible cactus from the beginning. “Rocket?”

  Then Jo drew the head of the penis.

  There was no doubt now about what she was drawing.

  Everyone else was snickering, but not Zach.

  “Penis,” he said. “Cock. Balls. Circumcision. Erection.�
�

  He couldn’t believe he was doing this in front of his parents and grandparents, but he was determined to win this thing.

  Jo drew a circle around the center of the drawing, then turned to look at him. Her cheeks were slightly pink, her eyes wide and imploring.

  “Shaft!” he exclaimed.

  “Yes!” shouted Jo, pointing at him.

  “Just in time,” Amber said. “I can’t believe you went there, Jo.”

  “Yeah, neither can I.”

  There was some uncomfortable laughter.

  Ah Ma sniffed. “I thought Pictionary was a G-rated game. This is not G-rated.”

  “The picture isn’t quite anatomically correct,” Greg said. “For example—”

  “I think it’s a perfectly good shaft,” Zach said.

  “Alright,” Amber said. “Time to move on. Mom and Dad, if you get this, we’ll have to do another round of sudden death overtime. If not, Team Hipster wins.”

  When Jo came to sit on Zach’s lap, he was very aware of a certain part of his anatomy, especially when she wiggled to adjust her position.

  Did she know what she was doing to him? Was she wondering if he had a perfectly good shaft?

  He couldn’t help it; he rather hoped she was.

  Amber turned over the timer, and Mom started drawing. There was a man with a beard and a hat. Santa Claus? And now he was drinking a beer?

  Zach had no idea what this was, but he wouldn’t be surprised if his father still guessed correctly.

  Next, Mom drew faces of people laughing.

  “Humor? Laughter? Comedy act?” Dad said. “Christmas gone wrong? Drunk Santa?”

  Zach stared at the timer and tightened his hold on Jo.

  He wanted to defeat his parents, but if he was honest with himself, this was mostly about Jo. About the way she would smile when they won. She was so sexy when she was flushed and excited.

  “And...”

  “Boxing Day?” Dad said.

  “...that’s time,” Amber said. “Team Hipster wins!”

  Jo grinned as though she’d never been happier.

  “What was the word?” Dad asked.

  “It was ‘parody,’” Mom said. “Sorry, I had no idea what to draw. It’s hard to show ‘parody’ when you can’t use any words.”

  “That’s okay,” Dad said.

  Zach wasn’t looking at him, though.

  He couldn’t take his gaze off Jo.

  * * *

  They left at ten o’clock. Zach offered to walk Jo home, like he always did after they went to the bar on Friday nights. But this time, as they made their way across town, there were a couple things different from usual.

  First of all, it was slippery.

  The temperature had been above freezing for much of the afternoon, and some of the snow had melted, but now the water had turned to ice.

  Jo slipped and clung to Zach. To steady her, he wrapped his arm around her body.

  The other thing that was different?

  He couldn’t help wanting to take off her jacket and toque...and more.

  They’d made out when they were skating, and he’d replayed their kisses over and over in his head, thinking about what would happen if they went further.

  “What was going through your mind,” he said, “when you drew a cock and balls on the whiteboard in my parents’ living room?”

  “Oh, God.” She turned away. “I really wanted to win, that’s all, and I couldn’t think of another way to get you to say ‘shaft,’ since you didn’t get ‘mine shaft’ or ‘shaft of light’ from the first two drawings. Your grandma kept giving me dirty looks afterward! I’m mortified.”

  “Yeah, I figured you just wanted to win.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay, I like your competitive spirit.” He paused. “What else was going through your mind other than winning?”

  “Nothing. Nothing at all.”

  “For example,” he pressed, “were you thinking of that particular part of my anatomy?”

  “No, your whole family was there!”

  The strength of her protest was suspicious, however.

  “Mm-hmm,” he said. “But my family isn’t around now. What are you thinking about?”

  “Zach,” she said, as though in pain.

  “I’ll stop right now if you tell me to.”

  He waited a beat.

  She said nothing.

  “I think you want to do unspeakably dirty things to my shaft,” he said quietly.

  A strange sound escaped her lips, a mixture of shock and laughter.

  No one else was out on the residential street. He stopped walking and pulled her against him, each of his hands holding one of hers.

  “May I kiss you again?” he asked.

  She nodded quickly and tilted her head upward.

  “You’re eager,” he observed.

  “Sorry!” She put a hand over her face.

  Jo might have drawn a not-quite-anatomical picture of a penis at his parents’ house, but she seemed a touch uncomfortable talking about this stuff. It was cute.

  He pulled off his gloves and tucked them into his pocket. Gently, he cupped her cheeks and slipped his fingers under the bottom of her hat.

  Then he kissed her, in the quiet of the night, his lips meeting hers over and over. He hadn’t thought of doing this with her until recently, but somehow it felt right and real, despite the lies they were telling his family.

  Jo adjusted herself so that one of her legs was between his, but she lost her balance and knocked into him. He fell backward before he could catch himself, though he managed to land on a snowbank instead of the icy sidewalk.

  She fell on top of him, laughing, and kissed him again.

  For a moment, neither one of them spoke.

  “Jo,” he said carefully, “would you want to do this indoors? Maybe on a bed?”

  * * *

  It was the stuff of her fantasies. Jo was walking up the stairs in her house and Zach Wong was following her, his hand resting lightly on her hip.

  They were going to her bedroom.

  They were going to have sex.

  At least, she was pretty sure that’s what would happen.

  She flicked on the lights in her bedroom and sat on the bed. She should probably strip off her shirt and give him a show, or kiss him against the door, or...something.

  But though she could do those things in her imagination, she couldn’t do them now.

  He sat beside her and pulled her into his lap.

  “If you’ve changed your mind, that’s okay,” he said.

  “No. Not at all. I’m just not very good at initiating stuff. Feeling comfortable with someone new. You know.”

  Except Zach wasn’t “new.” She’d known him for ages. They were friends. Maybe that’s why she was sharing her inadequacies with him, even though she had a crush on him.

  Plus, she’d already drawn a cock in front of his family, so it was hard to feel more embarrassed after that.

  “That’s one thing I never told you about Matt,” she said. “He wished I’d initiate more often. I like sex, but I was always...well. Just a tiny bit awkward about how I look. Not that I think I’m ugly, but my body is more function over form. I can run 10k and play hockey and swim laps, but I hardly look like a model. Anyway, one time, I decided I would try. After dinner, Matt was on the computer, and I told him to join me in the bedroom, with a little wink, you know? I asked him to give me five minutes. I put on sexy underwear and a bra, nothing else, and lay down in bed, waiting for him. After half an hour—”

  “Half an hour?”

  “Yeah. He still hadn’t shown up. So I texted him and he didn’t reply. He knew how hard this was for me, and he didn’t even have the decency to let me know he wasn’t interested that night. Then the next week, he asked me again why I didn’t initiate.”

  Zach held her more tightly against him. “That bastard.”

  He’d called Matt a bastard before, but this ti
me, it was different.

  “Anyway,” she finished, “that was a few weeks before I ended the engagement. And I haven’t been with anyone else since. You’re much less out of practice than I am.” She shook her head. “Sorry. I’m being weird. I wouldn’t blame you if you don’t want to do this anymore.”

  The confused look he gave her was, admittedly, rather gratifying.

  “I’m interested, I promise,” he said, sliding his hands down to her ass. “Relax and don’t worry about anything. I’ll take care of you. Just tell me if you ever want to stop, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  He turned on the lamp beside the bed and got up to flick off the main light. It was dim now, the lamp only illuminating part of the room, and it made her feel a little more comfortable somehow.

  As he sauntered back to the bed, he pulled his sweater over his head, followed by his T-shirt, exposing his chest. She swallowed as she took in the light and shadows playing over the canvas of his body.

  It was nothing she hadn’t seen before. She’d seen him in a swimsuit more than once. But this time, he was going to bed with her.

  At the back of her mind, she wondered if maybe this wasn’t a good idea. He might be physically attracted to her, but he’d never given any indication that he wanted this fake relationship to be not-so-fake, that he harbored anything other than friendly feelings toward her. As far as she knew, he still had no interest in a relationship.

  But Jo was suddenly tired of only doing things that were good ideas. The man she craved wanted to be with her tonight, and she wouldn’t pass up the opportunity.

  “Second thoughts?” he asked. “Want me to cover up?”

  “No, that’s a terrible idea.”

  He chuckled as he eased himself on top of her, his chest vibrating against hers. His cock was right there between her legs, and he was getting hard. He circled his hips against her, nice and slow, and she groaned. God, that felt nice. When he grasped the bottom of her shirt, she lifted her arms up so he could pull it off, and then he unclasped her bra and tossed it to the side.

  She felt a moment of panic that he’d change his mind now, but he didn’t.

  Instead, he looked at her in awe.

  She swallowed past the lump in her throat. She could trust him. He would never make her feel like Matt had.

  He started kissing her everywhere. All over her chest, her breasts, her stomach...as though every inch of her was important and deserved attention. She squirmed against him when he pulled her nipple into his mouth and swirled his tongue over the peak. Then he made his way down, and when he got to the waistband of her jeans, he lifted his gaze, and she nodded.