by Susan Payne
His finger slid into the silky warmth and felt her become moist immediately in response to his touch, which almost undid all his good intentions as he kept from groaning in need. He let his fingers slide further and enter her deeper, getting her used to feeling him there inside her if only with his hand.
The previously hidden nub at the top of her channel began to firm and grow as he rubbed it carefully with a slight pressure. He kept whispering soft encouraging words as she began to breathe in short pants and he felt her internal muscles clasp his finger as she unconsciously squeezed him.
A few minutes of attention and Jillian was thrashing her head back and forth on the mattress, her hands grasping the sheet in wads as she fought the sensations welling inside her.
“Let yourself go, Jillian. Relax and let it happen. Trust me, I’m right here, let it come.”
Jillian didn’t seem to understand what he was saying, but responded by relaxing. Then she was in a wild whirl of emotion and feelings as she clutched him to her body during the throes of passion he elicited. As she was trying to catch her breath, Gawain placed his erection at the same entrance that had just given her such pleasure.
“If I enter you now, I think it will be the least painful.”
Jillian nodded in agreement. Gawain stopped his penetration when he came to a barrier, waiting until she was aware what was happening and not still reacting to her orgasm. Jillian must have felt him hesitate and pushed her hips up into his, settling him to the hilt and he stilled once again as he was sheathed in her moist warmth.
He rested his forehead on hers. Unable to go slowly any longer, Gawain set a pace that soon had him stiffening - his neck stretched taught, arms rigid as he held his weight off her. Grinding his hips deeply until the last spasm left his body, he laid to her side to catch his breath. Keeping his arm across her body, he could monitor her emotions by feel.
Jillian was still analyzing her own physical response to Gawain’s touch and then had to figure out what actually happened to him. Was it the same for both of them? He seemed to respond differently in a way, but the increase of his heartbeats, his breathing, and the following lethargy seemed to mimic what she discovered happening to her own body.
And the pain was minimal. She hardly noticed since she was so overwhelmed with her own rapture as well as feeling Gawain’s body as it entered her, stroked her body internally. She wondered if she hadn’t just lived through that mind shattering euphoria, would his penetration have caused it as well? Was that what all the talk and innuendos were about? All the things the men stopped saying when they realized she was near enough to hear them?
Living as a woman in a man’s world opened her up to hearing, seeing things proper young ladies would not have access to, but she had no one to ask so had to live with part of a truth she was sure. If she had a mother or female relative, she would have had someone to ask, but her father kept a male household. Even her tutors had been men.
Men vetted thoroughly by her father, young men who knew not to compromise their student in any fashion. Young men who spent a lot of time visiting with some of the other men in the crofts.
Now, after this experience, she was sure she would remember conversations cut short or expressions curtailed when she came nearer. Her father’s men may have been older, but they were men and used to living roughly. Soldiers who lately had no battles.
She was unsure whether she could walk among them now and not realize the undercurrents. Not that they lusted after her since she was treated much as their daughters would have been if they had stumbled into the training arena. But now she knew much more about things personal. Things a husband and wife have between them. These past few minutes had altered her life as she knew it and as she would forever know it.
Her husband had added much to her knowledge and she felt more a woman than at any other time in her life.
Gawain finally pulled himself back to reality after experiencing the strongest orgasm of his life, even without Jillian doing anything exotic. But when she raised her body to meet his, when she in fact forced his penetration, he lost all sense of reason. Only the need to bury himself into her body controlled his every motion and finding release in filling her with his spend. Something he had always been careful to prevent with any woman before Jillian. But he didn’t want to think of those others. Jillian was the most wondrous woman he had ever come across.
“Now we are truly husband and wife. Now no one will be able to force you from here, from me,” he told her as he let himself sleep next to Jillian as she, also, fell into deep, relaxed sleep.
Gawain was almost fully dressed when Jillian woke. Standing near the washstand as he strapped on his sword belt and dirk, he turned to her as she walked towards him. He smiled then said, “You should make sure to keep your hair worn down like yesterday. I marked you last night when I lost control,” he said as he reached toward her neck to see the love bite just under her left ear.
He hadn’t realized he had done so at the time. He knew he wanted to join with her, but resisted covering her mouth with his and thrusting his tongue into her as he thrust his erection. Instead, he found his mouth sucking the soft skin behind her ear on her neck, and he must have done so with passion because the bruise was readily obvious. Not that he cared if the whole clan knew, but he did not want anyone to say something that would embarrass Jillian, not until she was more comfortable making love with him.
Then it wouldn’t matter if she had love bites or she scratched his back as she spiraled out of control. The thought of his making love with her again had parts of his body jerking to attention and he had to pretend to be occupied with getting his belts in place.
Jillian pulled back from his reach saying, “I always wear it down like that. I don’t waste my time braiding and playing with my hair all morning.”
Gawain dropped his hand at her maneuver away from him and continued to finish the buckling of his belts. “I am going back out to finish the hunt that was interrupted. The kitchen is calling for more meat and my men and I rarely disappoint.” Then he turned to leave.
“When will Agatha come for me? I wish to speak with my father.”
“You are my wife. You have access to any room in the keep as well as the bailey,” he told her.
“But what am I supposed to do?”
“Ask Agatha. I’m sure there are things she would be happy to pass along to you as lady of the house. She is always complaining about how busy she is running this place so now you can divide it between the two of you.” He left her staring in the mirror at herself.
Ann came in right after Gawain left, as if she was outside waiting for his leaving as her cue to enter and help Jillian with her dressing. She carried a set of women’s clean underclothes and blue sacque dress asking, “Should I bring up the tub again, Madam?” When she saw the expression on Jillian’s face continued, “I don’t feel I can call you anything but Madam now you are the Laird’s wife.” She hesitated again and finished, “You’ll still be Jillian when we’re alone then, m, Jillian, if that’s all right.”
“Call me what you will. I do not wish a bath. I’m anxious to speak with my father. I didn’t really get time yesterday and I am worried about him.” However, she did not explain why she was worried, that after his complacency of last night she wasn’t sure he wasn’t more ill than he let on.
Once Jillian was dressed, Ann grabbed the stained sheet and wadded it into a ball saying, “I’ve been told to bring this to Agatha. She will be in charge of it.”
Jillian shook her head in disbelief, but was too interested in finding her father to argue on where her soiled sheets got taken. She hurried along the way to the hall where she knew she would find most of the people awake in the keep. She was correct, seeing her father sitting and talking with a lovely older woman, her upswept gray hair covered with a cap and two braids left to hang alongside her surprisingly smooth face.
“Father, you appear so much better. I was worried you were getting weaker,” she said a
s she approached the two, both with empty plates in front of them.
“Ah, Jillian. Daughter, I would introduce you to, Lady Edith. She is the healer of this keep and I am feeling so much better since following her advice,” he told his daughter while accepting her kiss on his cheek. His eyes seemed clear and he was freshly shaven with his hair pulled into the usual queue at the back of his neck. She could see this rest was what he needed.
“Lady Edith, I have you to thank for my father’s increased good health, then?” she asked and stated. The woman’s smile was warm and genuine. She wore a dark blue short gown over a lighter blue round dress with lace sleeves and white lace trimmed cap over her once golden hair. Her father didn’t stop staring at the woman as if he couldn’t get enough of her beauty.
“Well, you had already done the best thing for him by removing him from your home. After examining his nails and hair, I am certain he was being slowly poisoned. Being away from that danger helped him survive and now with a few herbs and lots of water, I do not see why he won’t be with us for many more years.” The woman gazed into the old man’s eyes then lowered her own in shyness.
Jillian took into consideration what the woman said, then nodded. “That is when Father began to get weaker and have problems regaining his strength. I thought it was due to Dennis’ constant browbeating and demands for more control of the property and cattle. I had no idea he would resort to actually trying to kill my father in so insidious a way.” Jillian stroked the silver-white hair on the head that was so dear to her.
“I will let the kitchen know you wish food and let you two speak privately. Lord Riley has been worried about you and it will impede his convalescence to have so many items on his mind. He needs to rest all of his body including his brain before he will heal and be the man he was meant to be, even at this age,” Lady Edith teased as she left the two alone.
Her father appeared worried. “Are you very angry at me for handfasting you to Gawain without consulting you? I was still so weak and I was afraid I would not be able to protect you from your cousin any longer. It made sense to align you with a strong warrior. I think you will get along if you give him a chance.” He looked up at her, concern coloring his watery eyes.
Jillian could no longer stand in censure or give him the reprimands that had been building up in her. Ever since she woke to find herself the wife of a stranger and her body given in sacrifice to pay for their sanctuary, she felt at peace.
She was not sure Gawain wouldn’t have allowed them to stay with him until they both grew stronger, but it was too late now unless Jillian left him before they stood in front of a clergy and said their vows.
Handfasting could be broken, especially if both parties agreed, even after a consummation. Jillian was hoping she could convince her father to return to their original plan. Leave Scotland to seek help from someone strongly related to the King.
“Gawain seems like a nice enough man, Father, but that was not our plan. I still feel we can make it to England, especially now, once we are stronger. And the horses can carry us further in a day if we can take a few extra provisions than what we had when we left home.”
He gazed at her sadly, saying, “But Daughter, we had no destination and England is a big place. Most of my friends are old and if they even remembered me, would not feel an obligation to take us into their home or speak to the King to favor my cause. It was a wild plan and, I thought, the only choice available to us.”
Spreading his hand wide, he encompassed the high ceiling and large beams of the hall, the two huge fireplaces and glass windows. “Now we have a home right here where there are kind people and plenty of food and good care for both of us. Your husband seemed very concerned you had not had enough food lately and that you had taken on too dangerous and difficult a task to get me to England. Now you won’t have to, the need is gone.”
Staring deeply into her father’s eyes, she tried to see if he was diminishing his own wants and needs thinking it was the easiest and best thing for her. She didn’t want her needs to be considered in this decision. Losing his land and title to an upstart spoiled brat, dangerous though he was, should not be so easily contemplated.
She wanted him to fight, she wanted to fight and after learning about the poison, she had no objections now of running her cousin through with her own sword.
Some of her thoughts must have shown on her face because her father said, “Daughter, think about the title. In Scotland, the law doesn’t prohibit titles from following the female line if the King does not place any ruling against such a thing occurring. Even if Dennis had some way of making that happen, of getting the King’s favor, if you begot a son while I was still living that boy could be my heir. He would be much closer in blood than a sister’s son, a nephew, a son of a man with his own family name and legacy.”
Jillian had not thought that far ahead. She was more of a day to day planner with the ability to change direction quickly if needed. She thought about her child inheriting, for her to be the mother of the Earl of Crawford. She could see that happening and she could live in the castle until he was of age to care for his title and lands. When he reached his majority. The idea was far from an anathema to her.
Lady Edith came in followed by a servant carrying a tray laden with food and cider, a pot of tea as well as toasted bread with melted cheese on top. Jillian turned and attacked the food as she usually did every other morning at home before going out and working with the horses and practicing and training with the men who guarded the castle.
She was trying to find a way to do the same here and not embarrass the men or anger Gawain. A husband in a bad mood wasn’t someone she could control even if he was besotted with her…and Gawain was far from besotted.
During dinner, Jillian wasn’t exactly warm towards him, but she shared the trencher and complimented both the game bird and venison he and the hunting band brought back. Then she thanked him for offering her his wine and asked to be excused from the table to get ready for bed.
Gawain was surprised by the request, but thought possibly the conversation with her father earlier in the day had her understand she was safer here with Gawain than on the road to England. He stayed a while longer so it did not seem as if he was rushing after her and left when his cup was again emptied.
Opening the door to his room, he expected to find her in one of the chairs but instead she was already on the bed in somewhat the same pose as the night before only covered by the sheet.
“Are you trying to tell me something, wife?”
“I thought this is what I was supposed to do, be acquiescent and oblige my husband with my body as he wishes. Isn’t that what is expected of me?” she asked innocently, too innocently.
Gawain began removing his dinner clothes. “That may be what most husbands would expect, but I did not expect such wifely diligence from you. Is there perhaps a dirk waiting for me under that sheet, too?”
“No, I wouldn’t need to hide a weapon if I wanted to kill you. I would take you on as a warrior, not like some weakling.”
“Then to what do I owe this unexpected welcome?” he asked as he gazed over at her, his chest bare and only his breeches left to remove before he blew out the candles.
“Something my father said. Something I believe you and he discussed when you offered to handfast me. That our child would be his heir if he were conceived before my father died. Now that he is so much better, that could be a possibility. I could have a child and then Dennis would be completely out of the contest. He would have no chance at the title or property.”
“So, you wish my seed to make this happen?” he asked casually seeing a possible way of getting what he wanted out of this marriage, too.
“That’s how it works, isn’t it? I mean you did not seem to mind last night and I will not turn you away.”
He decided to use his wife’s wants to get what he sought. “I understand you wish me to get you with child. You and I agree that doing so would be very pleasant for me, but I
want more.”
“More? What do you mean more?” She seemed perplexed.
“I mean that waiting here in bed, ready for me is a good start, but I wish this to be between you and me. Not only to conceive although I have nothing against a child being the outcome of our more intimate endeavors.” He stared into his wife’s confused face and continued as he kneeled onto the bed. “I want to make love with you. That includes kissing and touching and tasting you, all of you and for you to do the same to me.”
“I don’t understand. Didn’t we do that last night? I mean, didn’t I do it, right?”
“Last night was a good beginning. Especially for the two of us coming together as strangers, but you will need to let me guide you. I promise it will not be onerous and I will never hurt you. Simply lay back and enjoy as you did last night and mayhap reciprocate as the urge takes you.” He pushed his breeches down, pushing them off with his foot leaving them on the floor next to the bed.
Jillian’s eyes were huge watching him prowl closer like a large, dark cat getting ready to pounce on a mouse sitting paralyzed in fright.
He laughed. “Let me show you. The first lesson I should have taught you if I had understood how untutored you were sooner.”
Placing his hands on both sides of her face, he gently covered her mouth with his, gently sucking and returning for more before licking his tongue out against her lips and urging her to open for its entrance. She understood his request and gave a soft moan as his tongue entered her warmth and then tried to follow his out with her own. He sucked her tongue into his mouth and reciprocated with a louder moan of desire, holding himself back from moving too quickly now his pupil was showing willingness for his tutelage.
Jillian seemed focused on her mouth and his tongue and his sucking on her bottom lip as he returned again for more of her, bringing her breathing to short pants between kisses. He found he needed to feel even closer and covered one soft orb with his hand, feeling the nipple harden into his palm. Then he left her lips to cover the other breast with his seeking mouth, rolling the nipple with his talented tongue and bringing it to a peak to be suckled deeply.
