Like a Freeze

by Olivette Devaux

  “Weirdly jumbled,” Cooper repeated with a carefree laugh. “Is that a specialized term in your field of study?”

  “Must be,” Ash said amicably. He hoped it would come back to him in a dream. Sometimes it did that – but only sometimes. “Hey, do you think anyone took our space? It was warm in the lodge, and there was a pile of blankets.” He waved at the snowed-in gher. “We can rescue our stuff later.”

  “I could kill for some hot chocolate right now,” Cooper said as he headed out into the crystalline, powder-like snow that shimmered with the brilliance of diamonds. “Getting there will take a while. This stuff is deep.” He turned, pulled Ash into a one-armed embrace, and planted a kiss on his forehead. “Good thing our gher is just fifty feet away, right?”

  “Yes,” Ash whispered, as though he was taking care not to clutter up the peaceful night. “Good thing.”

  CHAPTER 17

  JARED

  Ojii-san strode out to the edge of the wooden porch, and took in the new layout of his inner world with his sightless eyes. As Jared stood next to him, he could tell the old man knew where the smooth wooden planks ended. He knew where the fragrant cherry blossoms froze on their branches, and he knew where the flat, brittle expanse of the iced-over lake replaced the pastoral hills and copses of woods.

  And the flowers.

  And the song of the insects and birds – all that was now gone.

  “I need you to focus on your one-point and pretend you are inside a glass egg,” Ojii-san said, addressing Jared in perfect English. “And I need you to make the inside of that egg smooth and shiny, like a mirror. Do it.”

  Jared strove to imagine an egg so large, it would hold him as he walked. He decided to let his feet peek out magically, and he also turned his mind away from the way his energy swirled around his ankles in hope that it would settle down all by itself, and remain supple so he could walk.

  This much glass was heavy, though – so heavy, Jared staggered under its weight until he remembered that the egg shield was a mere construct.

  A product of his imagination – and he could make it however he wished.

  With a focused frown, he softened the glass. A ball, a big elastic ball-like egg surrounded him, and when he took an exploratory step, its elastic skin stretched with his stride.

  Not a glass egg, then, and not a bird egg. Maybe a snake egg? Weren’t those soft and elastic?

  Except he had made his transparent.

  And now, he’d make it’s inner surface shine.

  This construct was of his own mind. If he wanted a transparent snake egg with a shiny surface on the inside, all he had to do was imagine it, and hold that image in his mind nice and steady, like...this.

  It wavered, wobbled, but then the wall solidified, and stayed.

  “Good, good,” Ojii-san said with approval. “I can barely hear your thoughts now.”

  “But it’s not loud in here,” Jared pointed out. “How come?”

  Ojii-san remained silent. Then, after a time, he said, “You can make a small window less shiny now, and send a thought to Shika.”

  A test message, then. One that wouldn’t bounce back off the mirror-smooth surface. One that he could let through. But what to say?

  [: I can hear you loud and clear, :] Shika thought back from the other side of the house. [: Good job! :]

  Which is how Jared realized that his mental sendings were akin to a verbal diarrhea of a star-struck teenager. When he heard Shika laugh in response, he quickly focused and made that window go away. Once again, he was surrounded by a shiny, yielding egg which moved with him – it even let him sit down – but it let only his strongest thoughts through.

  One of those was his horror at the fact that Cooper, Ash, and the rest of the clan lost so many memories.

  The lake spirit as well.

  [: Don’t worry, we know what happened, :] Shika sent, and to his surprise, he was right next to Jared now. [: We are the guardians of that knowledge now. :]

  Ojii-san stroked his long, white beard with thoughtful deliberation. Thinking. Debating, perhaps. Then he turned to them both. [: We are all guardians of all manners of knowledge. It is up to us whether we release it back into to world, or whether we file it away and let it dissipate over the centuries. Some things are best forgotten, after all. :]

  Jared stared at him in wonder. He had never considered the advantages of staying in this little pocket of time-space, but... but now he wasn’t horribly lonely anymore. In fact, with the sword’s spirit fractured into the souls that composed it, the house was positively crowded.

  And he could send thoughts instead of speaking, which transcended any language barriers.

  [: Use your knowledge wisely, :] Ojii-san said before he disappeared.

  Shika stood next to him in reverent silence.

  [: Where did he go? :] Jared wondered almost aloud.

  [: He dematerialized, :] Shika whispered. [: He does that sometimes, but he’ll be back, don’t worry. :]

  Jared was far from worried. New hope blossomed in his heart, because he had heard that word before.

  He himself had dematerialized.

  It was not an irreversible state, not if Ojii-san could pop in and out of existence here in this dimension. This meant Jared could, theoretically, learn to do the same thing.

  Now he had skills to learn, and now he had choices.

  Now he also had a job and a mission, and thinking of Cooper no longer meant a dive into heart-breaking sorrow. With a plan, and with a new friend by his side, Jared could forge a new life and he’d trust Cooper and Ash to do the same, even though things had gone badly awry with their celebration.

  His first order of business was to talk to the lake spirit, see what can he could do to help.

  “Good idea,” Shika nodded next to him. “But just whisper, like you did before.”

  ASH AND COOPER

  The inside of the sweat lodge reminded Ash of a dark cavern. The warm air had a measure of residual softness left behind by the steam, which had given the participants not only the comfort of penetrating heat, but also a measure of privacy.

  Wood smoke mingled with the scent of ceremonial sage, human sweat, and sex.

  So that’s what his clan did to pacify the lake spirit. Now, however, the Old Woman had set the over-powered upstart in his place and Ash’s river spirit friends seemed to have teamed up in some kind of an educational intervention. Or a beating. Cooper had a hard time imagining how the animistic spirits inhabiting the Earth went about their internal politics.

  He only knew that he and Ash were cold, and tired, and in dire need of sleep.

  “Here,” Ash whispered and tugged on the sleeve of his parka.

  The snow on it was melting, putting the water-resistant claims of the manufacturer to the test. Cooper sheathed the sword that was Jared with a measure of guilt for not drying it off and oiling it the way he always did. Then he unzipped his parka with fingers still clumsy from the bitter cold outside, and shrugged out of all his garments until he wasn’t too hot, nor too cold.

  “All the way down to your skivvies,” Ash whispered, sounding amused despite the yawn he failed to suppress. Then he kicked his meditation pillow to where it would support his head, slumped to the soft bearskin on top of an old woolen rug, and opened his arms toward Cooper.

  Cooper didn’t resist the lure of Ash’s embrace. Their limbs entwined as he pulled a spare blanket over them in anticipation of a morning chill.

  His lips sought out Ash’s in a good-night kiss that was as heartfelt as it was perfunctory. Then, with his sword safely tucked under his own pillow and with Ash’s arms in a warm embrace, he obeyed the call of dreamland.

  ASH KNEW HE was asleep as clearly as though he were water-walking. With an uncanny clarity, he was aware of his physical body next to Cooper’s, and of Cooper’s clan in a lodge sprawling on a flat of downtrodden snow under him. The reek of smudged sage and ceremonial tobacco was replaced by the fresh scent of water and the deep, familiar
notes of water-logged mud.

  He drew another lungful as he looked around, floating above the lodge. He was wearing the same short-legged briefs he wore when he and Cooper crashed with the others in search of warmth, and of restorative sleep. Instead of letting his subconscious sort out the wild events of what had been, and what the spirits chose to hide from his conscious memory, he was out here as though somebody had called his name.

  And now he heard it again. [: Healer of Rivers! :]

  Ash spun in the direction of the voice. It came from the icy expanse of the bay and carried a plaintive, needy note of distress.

  But this was just a dream. Of course he’d follow, if only to gain insight into what was, what is, and what would be.

  He floated through the icy air, but this time the light, crisp wind propelled him from the forested campsite toward the lake, and then above it. With alarming speed, as though his consent had been the trigger for his precipitous flight, he found himself at the edge of the bay where the ice ended and the choppy, dark waters of Lake Superior began.

  [: I am here. Who is calling for my aid? :] He knew, in the depth of his heart, who this was even though his voice had changed from a powerful, fully-grown man to an uncertain crackle of a teen.

  [: You can still call me Bob, if you want. Or something else. I... I have many names. :]

  Ash descended to the rough ice edge. In the dream, his feet were aware of the cold, yet none of his heat fell prey to its greedy grasp. He alighted, unafraid of slipping or falling, and unafraid of the dark and roiling waters below. [: Show yourself, :] he commanded, [: so I know who does me the honor of their presence! :]

  [: You’d have to come under, :] Bob said.

  [: Last time you tried to trap me. :]

  A mournful wail split the air, cut short as though Bob had gotten slapped into a state of self-control again. [: I won’t. I promise I won’t. Word of honor, you can go back whenever you want, and you will leave unchanged. And I’ll try to make sure She doesn’t wipe your memories clean again, but there’s only so much I can do in that regard. :] Then, sullenly, Bob whispered, [: They’re keeping an eye on me now. :]

  THEY WERE ASLEEP. Cooper was as sure of that as he was sure of his own earth-sense. Yet even in his slumber he was aware of the sword that was Jared, and of Ash’s little trip out of his own body. He couldn’t follow him, not for a lack of will, but because leaving his body wasn’t something he had ever done before.

  Ash seemed to have felt confident, though. Comfortable. Not a single note of distress marred his flight from Cooper’s side toward the lake. On the contrary, Cooper detected that satisfied, busy air Ash always exuded when he was filled with his own purpose.

  He vacillated, wishing he could follow, but in the end he yielded to gentle sleep.

  [: Hush, :] the Old Woman gently cajoled. [: He’ll be back. :]

  Soothed and mollified, Cooper settled into a dream world of his own. He dreamt that he and Ash had stayed for his clan’s ritual, and that instead of running off, he had bent Ash over a fur-covered log and let his hands and lips feast on the skin that glowed gold-white in the gentle illumination of the coals. And when he used his tongue the way Ash liked it best, he had gasped in pleasure and begged him for more.

  And Cooper had given him more. The seething velvet heat of Ash’s body welcomed Cooper as much as it had consumed him, and Ash writhed under his weight in silent ecstasy.

  All was good, and all was as it should be.

  ASH CAME TO mostly because people started their morning stumble to the lodge’s front door and out, ready to wash off and dress in clean clothes in preparation of a more formal meal later. The snippets of chatter from the outside told him there was much to do, both camp chores and kitchen work so all could enjoy tonight’s dinner feast.

  With the smallest of regret he extricated himself from Cooper’s arms and begun to dress.

  “Ash?” It didn’t take long for Cooper to notice the small movements Ash tried so carefully to disguise. “You okay?”

  “Yeah. I just want to get out and see people. Maybe help out a bit.” All awake now, Cooper rose up and kissed Ash’s nose. “I wasn’t too rough, was I?”

  Ash remembered the dream-filled night, his conversation with Cooper, and their loving embrace and all that had entailed. And then he thought back, and wondered how much of that had been a dream, or a true joining they had both experienced last night along with everyone else. He took a quick, internal inventory. “No, love.” He didn’t feel sore at all.

  He thought that should be awkward, except it wasn’t. Instead of thinking much about it, he rose and began to dress as well. “Okay. Whatever. Lets’ just go and clean up after that microburst.”

  “What microburst?”

  “ The one that tore our roof off last night?” Ash laughed. “How about we tackle that whole mess together?”

  And they did, unspeaking, as silent as the night.

  CHAPTER 18

  JARED

  “Are we moving again?” Shika put his flute away and turned to Jared with an expression which might have been slightly interested on anyone else. On Shika, it spelled unbridled excitement.

  Jared inhaled, breathing in the scent of water from the little creek by their feet. No cherry blossoms – no, they had frozen before, and now the brave verdant leaves fought their way out of their swollen buds. Their curtain of drooping branches provided a mere illusion of privacy.

  But that was okay. They only needed to disappear to their favorite space, out of sight of Ojii-san and Arashi and Ameru-san, whose name had probably once been Amelia Earhardt. She still had not said.

  “Well, are we?” Shika asked again with an insistence which was entirely un-Japanese.

  Carefully, as though he had been walking a tightrope and had to stop and bend to tie his shoe, Jared dismissed the smallest portion of his egg-shaped shield.

  He reached his mind out to Cooper – tentatively, because Cooper himself had been shielded and keeping all private for the last few days. And no wonder. Jared knew his cousin would want a few days to recover from the Lake Spirit disaster. Add to it the fact that his memories were not only erased, but false ones were implanted – this would tire his mind out.

  Jared didn’t like any of it.

  He didn’t like the Old Woman’s meddling ways. At least Ameru-san, who was also an old woman, spoke with human forthrightness when he asked her a question.

  He nodded to answer Shika’s query. “Finally,” Jared said on a breath of an exhale. “We’re finally leaving the place where the lakes are.” He reached out again, borrowing Cooper’s eyesight. He scanned for a while.

  “We’re on our way home, but we had stopped somewhere else for a while. I’m not sure what happened.” The glance he shot in Shika’s direction was full of alarm, and he fought hard to rein his emotions in. No need to alarm his new friend.

  Shika smiled. “Being behind that shield all the time has its disadvantages. You protect your thoughts from me, but you can’t read the world on the other side.”

  “I don’t need to protect my thoughts from you.” Jared’s words rushed out. “Not from you, only from the others. From the old nosy ones.”

  “Except I’m connected to them, so if I know, they will eventually find out as well.” Shika tilted his head to the side. His hair was longer now, let down from its topknot and framing his face just-so.

  Jared wanted to kiss him.

  Startled, Shika let their eyes meet. Then he smiled, reached out, and squeezed Jared’s hand with his own. “Would you like me to play for you?”

  Heart beat in Jared’s chest like a drum as all the bits began to fall together, forming a sketch of a picture from hundreds of years ago. A picture of love that was not censured. A graceful, dimensional painting of a fated relationship that was meant to be.

  One that had once died a violent and premature death.

  Shika nodded, as though confirming his thoughts without elaborating upon them in so many words. He
pulled his shakahachi flute out of his obi, and set his fingers on the smooth-worn openings in the bamboo. For how long had he been playing that self-same flute, gently wearing it down? For how long had he been waiting for him, hoping for the threads of destiny to resume their pattern of the tapestry?

  “Would you like me to play for you?” Shika asked with a coy smile.

  “Yes, please.” Jared would sit still for as long as Shika would have him by his side. He didn’t care if his back began to cramp – he had no back. He could wish it away.

  “You may lie down and set your head in my lap, if you wish,” Shika said so quietly, Jared thought he might’ve been... shy.

  Shy to ask.

  “I’d love to.” He settled down with his neck on Shika’s thigh, looking up at his graceful fingers, at his focused expression. As music washed over him, both new and strangely familiar, Jared let go of his worry about Cooper.

  Cooper would do his best on the other side, and until he called on Jared, Jared would tend his own little fire and enjoy this man who was a stranger, yet who seemed strangely familiar at the same time.

  ASH AND COOPER

  The good-byes had been awkward, Cooper reflected as he drove the first leg from Michigan’s Upper Peninsula toward Ann Arbor. As the road rumbled under the wheels of the old van, and as the snow-covered plains flashed by on the sunny side of his dark sunglasses, he wondered whether the embarrassed vibe had been the result of their gher having been blown down by an unexpected microburst, or by everyone’s general spaced-out expression.

  “They all acted weird,” Ash said, echoing his innermost feelings. “Do you think they were on something?”