Through the Eye of the Needle: A Romance

by William Dean Howells

  XXVI

  Like all cowards who wait a happy moment for the duty that should not besuffered to wait at all, I was destined to have the affair challenge me,instead of seizing the advantage of it that instant frankness would havegiven me. Shall I confess that I let several days go by, and still hadnot spoken to Eveleth, when, at the end of a long evening--the last longevening we passed together--she said:

  "What would you like to have me do with this house while we are gone?"

  "Do with this house?" I echoed; and I felt as if I were standing on theedge of an abyss.

  "Yes; shall we let it, or sell it--or what? Or give it away?" I drew alittle breath at this; perhaps we had not misunderstood each other, afterall. She went on: "Of course, I have a peculiar feeling about it, so thatI wouldn't like to get it ready and let it furnished, in the ordinaryway. I would rather lend it to some one, if I could be sure of any onewho would appreciate it; but I can't. Not one. And it's very much thesame when one comes to think about selling it. Yes, I should like to giveit away for some good purpose, if there is any in this wretched state ofthings. What do you say, Aristide?"

  She always used the French form of my name, because she said it soundedridiculous in English, for a white man, though I told her that theEnglish was nearer the Greek in sound.

  "By all means, give it away," I said. "Give it for some public purpose.That will at least be better than any private purpose, and put it somehowin the control of the State, beyond the reach of individuals orcorporations. Why not make it the foundation of a free school for thestudy of the Altrurian polity?"

  She laughed at this, as if she thought I must be joking. "It would bedroll, wouldn't it, to have Tammany appointees teaching Altrurianism?"Then she said, after a moment of reflection: "Why not? It needn't be inthe hands of Tammany. It could be in the hands of the United States; Iwill ask my lawyer if it couldn't; and I will endow it with money enoughto support the school handsomely. Aristide, you have hit it!"

  I began: "You can give _all_ your money to it, my dear--" But Istopped at the bewildered look she turned on me.

  "All?" she repeated. "But what should we have to live on, then?"

  "We shall need no money to live on in Altruria," I answered.

  "Oh, in Altruria! But when we come back to New York?"

  It was an agonizing moment, and I felt that shutting of the heart whichblinds the eyes and makes the brain reel. "Eveleth," I gasped, "did youexpect to return to New York?"

  "Why, certainly!" she cried. "Not at once, of course. But after you hadseen your friends, and made a good, long visit--Why, surely, Aristide,you don't understand that I--You didn't mean to _live_ in Altruria?"

  "Ah!" I answered. "Where else could I live? Did you think for an instantthat I could live in such a land as this?" I saw that she was hurt, and Ihastened to say: "I know that it is the best part of the world outside ofAltruria, but, oh, my dear, you cannot imagine how horrible the notion ofliving here seems to me. Forgive me. I am going from bad to worse. Idon't mean to wound you. After all, it is your country, and you must loveit. But, indeed, I could not think of living here. I could not take theburden of its wilful misery on my soul. I must live in Altruria, and you,when you have once seen my country, _our_ country, will neverconsent to live in any other."

  "Yes," she said, "I know it must be very beautiful; but I hadn'tsupposed--and yet I ought--"

  "No, dearest, no! It was I who was to blame, for not being clearer fromthe first. But that is the way with us. We can't imagine any peoplewilling to live anywhere else when once they have seen Altruria; and Ihave told you so much of it, and we have talked of it together so often,that I must have forgotten you had not actually known it. But listen,Eveleth. We will agree to this: After we have been a year in Altruria,if you wish to return to America I will come back and live with youhere."

  "No, indeed!" she answered, generously. "If you are to be my husband,"and here she began with the solemn words of the Bible, so beautiful intheir quaint English, "'whither thou goest, I will go, and I will notreturn from following after thee. Thy country shall be my country, andthy God my God."

  I caught her to my heart, in a rapture of tenderness, and the eveningthat had begun for us so forbiddingly ended in a happiness such as noteven our love had known before. I insisted upon the conditions I hadmade, as to our future home, and she agreed to them gayly at last, as asort of reparation which I might make my conscience, if I liked, fortearing her from a country which she had willingly lived out of for thefar greater part of the last five years.

  But when we met again I could see that she had been thinking seriously.

  "I won't give the house absolutely away," she said. "I will keep the deedof it myself, but I will establish that sort of school of Altruriandoctrine in it, and I will endow it, and when we come back here, for ourexperimental sojourn, after we've been in Altruria a year, we'll take upour quarters in it--I won't give the whole house to the school--and wewill lecture on the later phases of Altrurian life to the pupils. Howwill that do?"

  She put her arms around my neck, and I said that it would do admirably;but I had a certain sinking of the heart, for I saw how hard it was evenfor Eveleth to part with her property.

  "I'll endow it," she went on, "and I'll leave the rest of my money atinterest here; unless you think that some Altrurian securities--"

  "No; there are no such things!" I cried.

  "That was what I thought," she returned; "and as it will cost us nothingwhile we are in Altruria, the interest will be something very handsome bythe time we get back, even in United States bonds."

  "Something handsome!" I cried. "But, Eveleth, haven't I heard you sayyourself that the growth of interest from dead money was like--"

  "Oh yes; that!" she returned. "But you know you have to take it. Youcan't let the money lie idle: that would be ridiculous; and then, withthe good purpose we have in view, it is our _duty_ to take theinterest. How should we keep up the school, and pay the teachers, andeverything?"

  I saw that she had forgotten the great sum of the principal, or that,through lifelong training and association, it was so sacred to her thatshe did not even dream of touching it. I was silent, and she thought thatI was persuaded.

  "You are perfectly right in theory, dear, and I feel just as you do aboutsuch things; I'm sure I've suffered enough from them; but if we didn'ttake interest for your money, what should we have to live on?"

  "Not _my_ money, Eveleth!" I entreated. "Don't say _my_ money!"

  "But whatever is mine is yours," she returned, with a wounded air.

  "Not your money; but I hope you will soon have none. We should need nomoney to live on in Altruria. Our share of the daily work of all willamply suffice for our daily bread and shelter."

  "In Altruria, yes. But how about America? And you have promised to comeback here in a year, you know. Ladies and gentlemen can't share in thedaily toil here, even if they could get the toil, and, where there are somany out of work, it isn't probable they could."

  She dropped upon my knee as she spoke, laughing, and put her hand undermy chin, to lift my fallen face.

  "Now you mustn't be a goose, Aristide, even if you _are_ an angel!Now listen. You _know_, don't you, that I hate money just as badlyas you?"

  "You have made me think so, Eveleth," I answered.

  "I hate it and loathe it. I think it's the source of all the sin andmisery in the world; but you can't get rid of it at a blow. For if yougave it away you might do more harm than good with it."

  "You could destroy it," I said.

  "Not unless you were a crank," she returned. "And that brings me just tothe point. I know that I'm doing a very queer thing to get married, whenwe know so little, really, about you," and she accented this confessionwith a laugh that was also a kiss. "But I want to show people that we arejust as practical as anybody; and if they can know that I have left mymoney in United States bonds, they'll respect us, no matter what I dowith the interest. Don't you see? We can come back, and preach an
d teachAltrurianism, and as long as we pay our way nobody will have a rightto say a word. Why, Tolstoy himself doesn't destroy his money, though hewants other people to do it. His wife keeps it, and supports the family.You _have_ to do it."

  "He doesn't do it willingly."

  "No. And _we_ won't. And after a while--after we've got back, andcompared Altruria and America from practical experience, if we decide togo and live there altogether, I will let you do what you please withthe hateful money. I suppose we couldn't take it there with us?"

  "No more than you could take it to heaven with you," I answered,solemnly; but she would not let me be altogether serious about it.

  "Well, in either case we could get on without it, though we certainlycould not get on without it here. Why, Aristide, it is essential to theinfluence we shall try to exert for Altrurianism; for if we came backhere and preached the true life without any money to back us, no onewould pay any attention to us. But if we have a good house waiting forus, and are able to entertain nicely, we can attract the best people,and--and--really do some good."