Rocky Ground

by Kaylea Cross

  “Ohhh. How old are they?”

  Her soft heart was evident in her voice. She’d been rescuing all kinds of animals ever since he’d known her. “Young. Real young, maybe a couple weeks old, I dunno.”

  “Any sign of the mother?”

  “She’s dead. Hit by a car.”

  “Oh, the poor things. Where are they now?”

  “Crawling all over my shirt.”

  She let out a soft laugh. “Is it any wonder why I love you?”

  He was just damn glad she did. His life had been cold and empty without her.

  “Can you bring them in right away? They’ll need to be kept warm and fed.”

  His wife had this all dialed in. “Sure. Be there in about ten minutes.” He went into the flower shop to get a box for the kittens. After settling them into it on top of his jacket for warmth, he took a towel from the back of his truck and went and wrapped up the mother cat to take her to the clinic with her babies. He placed the box of kittens on the passenger seat where he could keep an eye on them as he drove.

  His phone rang as he was getting behind the wheel. Mac. “Hey, brother. What’s up?”

  “You sound busy. Should I call back?”

  He grunted. “Just performing a standard rescue op with a litter of orphaned kittens. I gotta get them over to Sierra asap.”

  “Oh, well, I won’t keep you then. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  It wasn’t like Mac to hedge. “Something wrong?”

  “No. I’ll talk to you later. Good luck with the kittens.”

  Beckett set his phone down and started the engine, wondering what was going on. Mac wasn’t a secretive guy, he was too much of a snoop for that. There was only one reason Beckett could think of for him to put off their conversation, and he hoped the hell he was wrong, but his gut said otherwise. The damn work visa extension must have fallen through. “Hell.”

  Mac was not only an invaluable part of the company, he was a damned good friend. Beckett would hate like hell to lose him.

  One kitten made a reckless escape attempt over the side of the box. Probably the same intrepid one that had wandered into the road earlier. “Whoa there, little man,” he said, grabbing it before it could fall over the edge and use up another one of its nine lives. “Hang tight. I’m taking you guys to a real nice lady who’ll fix you all up.”

  Sierra had a soft spot for lost and wounded things. She rescued them, nurtured them and turned their lives around.

  Him included.

  Chapter Five

  Tiana was with her last patient of the day, dreading the upcoming meeting she couldn’t avoid. It couldn’t be helped, however, and getting home to be with Ella and Lizzie after was its own reward for what she was about to endure.

  She helped Mrs. Alvarez back into her recliner, providing support and watching for any signs that the elderly woman was about to lose her balance, mindful of the hip replacement she’d just undergone. “Easy does it.”

  “Yes, yes,” she murmured, gingerly easing her weight back into the chair with a grimace. When she was seated she let out a relieved breath and grinned up at Tiana. “Whew. I hope my bladder holds out until bedtime. I’m not looking forward to getting up again anytime soon.”

  Tiana smiled back. “I’ll bet. But you know how important it is for you to keep moving, for your muscles and your cardiovascular system. I know it hurts, but the longer you sit, the harder it will be to get moving again.”

  Mrs. Alvarez groaned. “Yes, yes, I know.”

  Tiana wasn’t fooled by the ready agreement. “So you promise to get up when the timer goes off in the kitchen?”

  The woman narrowed dark, accusing brown eyes at her. “You left it in the kitchen? Sadist.”

  “It’s only because I care,” she answered, taking a page out of Lizzie’s book. Her aunt was leaving way too soon. Tiana didn’t want her to go. It was so nice to have the company.

  “Hmph.” Now Mrs. Alvarez looked worried. “How long do I have?”

  “Forty-three minutes and counting.”

  Her eyes widened. “Forty-three…”

  “You’ll thank me later, I promise. And your daughter is coming by in about fifteen minutes, so she’ll help you when you need to get up again.”

  Tiana called Lizzie on her way out of the one-story bungalow two towns east of Crimson Point. “Hey, how are things there?”

  “Wonderful, of course. Ella’s just finishing up her homework, then we’re going to walk up to get Walter and take him for a stroll. Who knows, maybe we’ll even get lucky and bump into Aidan while we’re out.”

  “Wouldn’t that be something?” Tiana said dryly. Her aunt had asked her about him every day since they’d seen him at Whale’s Tale. Tiana hadn’t seen him again and wasn’t going to search him out.

  “Yes.” She could hear the smile in Lizzie’s voice. “If we do, maybe I’ll invite him over for dinner. That way you can have that talk afterward.”

  “Yeah, thanks but no thanks. I’ve got enough on my mind today.” The apology would happen when it happened. She had more important things to worry about at the moment.

  Her aunt was silent a moment. “You sure you’re up to this?”

  “Oh yeah.” There was no damn way she would let Evan meet with Ella without first having a face-to-face talk with him privately, court-appointed liaison supervisor or not.

  “I kind of wish I could watch what happens live. I can picture you flaying him alive with only your eyes. It would be awesome.”

  Tiana frowned. “Can Ella hear you?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Good. Because I’m going to try and keep this civil, for her sake. But if he gives me any sign at all that I don’t like, I’ll fight him in court until I’m bankrupt and living on the streets if that’s what it takes.”

  “That’s my girl. And if you go bankrupt, you can both move in with me. I’ll give up traveling and support you guys until all my savings run out.”

  Tiana smiled. Except for Lizzie, she’d never had anyone to support her. It meant a lot. “I love you, you know.”

  “Of course I know. And I love you back. You’re my—”

  “Favorite niece. I know.”

  “Well, it’s true. All right, you get on the road then. I know how you like to be early for everything. You can set up camp and be waiting there for him when he walks in. Like a spider waiting for the fly to land in its web.” She sounded gleeful. “I’m sending you all my love and strength. Everything’s going to be fine, you’ll see.”

  “Thanks. I’ll call you after.”

  “You’d better.”

  “Tell Ella I love her.”

  “She knows, but I will anyway. Bye.”

  “Bye.” A nervous bubbling started up in her stomach as she drove to the meeting location two towns to the south. She’d wanted this to be on neutral ground, where no one she knew was likely to see her or overhear what was said.

  She was waiting in the restaurant at a corner table by the window when Evan walked in twenty minutes later. Even though she’d thought she was prepared for this, even though she knew what he looked like now from doing research online, the sight of him in person was still a shock.

  He’d dyed his mousy brown hair dark and cut it short. He’d filled out through the chest and stomach but he carried the extra weight well and he cut a professional figure in dress slacks, shirt and a tailored jacket. The image of a professional, successful musician on the rise. Barely having any resemblance to the hard rock sex symbol she’d fallen for a decade ago.

  He scanned the restaurant, his blue gaze locking on her when he spotted her over by the window. She’d chosen her seat specifically so that he would have to be looking into the light the entire time. Maybe it was a little petty, but whatever. He deserved to be uncomfortable.

  Evan put on a pleasant smile that ten years ago would have made her all fluttery. Now it had no effect on her whatsoever. “Tiana, hi,” he said when he reached the table. “It’s been a lo
ng time.”

  She didn’t stand or return the smile. “Evan.”

  His expression sobered and he sat, trying and failing to angle his chair to avoid the glare of the sun in his eyes. He settled for shifting around the table, twisting so that he was almost in profile to her. “Thanks for meeting me. It’s… You look great.”

  “Thanks.” She didn’t give a shit what he thought of her looks, but she’d worn one of her nicest dresses and heels and touched up her hair and makeup before coming inside. Because she had an image to project. She was all grown up now, independent and not to be fucked with.

  A server came over to take their drink orders. Tiana ordered coffee. She would have loved a double martini, but that would have to wait until she got home. Lizzie would fix her up. “So,” she said once they were alone again. “Why now?” she asked, not willing to engage in bullshit small talk when her daughter’s welfare was at stake.

  “Why now what?” he asked, looking puzzled.

  “It’s been almost ten years. Why do you suddenly want to be part of Ella’s life now?”

  Her directness seemed to take him aback for a moment. He cleared his throat and looked down at the table as he fiddled with his napkin. “I’m married now. My wife and I have twin six-month-old boys.”

  “I read that, yes.”

  That seemed to throw him off too. “Well, it made me think more about Ella. She’s been on my mind a lot recently and I want to get to know her. I want her to get to know me and my family.”

  His words twisted like knives in her gut. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” No way in hell was she allowing him any form of custody. Supervised visits were hard enough. And there was something else bothering her. “Your wife started this, didn’t she? After you had the boys, she started encouraging you to find and meet Ella.”

  His stunned expression told her she was dead on. “She may have been the one to start the ball rolling in this direction,” he allowed.

  “That’s what I figured.”

  A spark of anger lit his eyes. “But I’m here now because I want to get to know my daughter.” He sighed and lowered his gaze. “Tiana, I know what you must think of me after—”

  “Trust me, you don’t,” she shot back. There was no way he could understand what she thought or how she felt about him—the man she’d given everything to, only to be suddenly abandoned with their child without a backward glance.

  He grimaced at the bite in her tone. “Look,” he said, glancing around to make sure no one was watching and then lowering his voice before he continued. With his career as a lead guitarist finally taking off, he had his image to protect. She hoped the hell that wasn’t another reason for this sudden interest in Ella. “I was a selfish asshole back then. I know it, and I’m not proud of it. Ella came along by surprise and I just couldn’t be what either of you needed me to be then.”

  It’s not like she’d had a choice either. Ella had been just as much a surprise to her as to him, yet from the moment she’d learned she was pregnant, there was no way she could ever have walked away from her own child. “So you took off and left me to deal with everything alone without bothering to check on us or pay any kind of child support. Until very recently. And, if you’ll remember, I was two years younger than you and going to school full time when I got pregnant.”

  “I know,” he acknowledged with a solemn nod.

  “I had to quit school. It took me until just a few years ago to finish my program and become certified as an OT. That entire time in between, I struggled with working two and sometimes three part-time jobs just to feed us and keep a roof over our heads while raising her by myself.”

  He winced a little but she didn’t see any reason to spare him the details. Why should she? She wanted him to have a clue about what she and Ella had gone through because of him.

  Her pulse beat faster, anger pumping through her bloodstream. This confrontation had been a decade in the making. She wasn’t going to cause a scene, for both their sakes, but she also wasn’t going to make any of this easy on him. He didn’t deserve to have Ella in his life now.

  “And I also never went after you for any kind of support,” she continued. “I could have. You know I could have, and I’d have gotten it, too. I could have ruined your life for what you did, but I didn’t.” She could ruin it now, if she chose, and he knew it. “And do you know why? Because I recognized that Ella and I were better off without you. I recognized that you were a toxin, and I wanted you out of our lives for good.”

  Evan let out a breath, all but squirming in his chair, the sun still blinding him. “I know, and I get it. I’ve got no defense for what I did. And now that I’m a father again and I see all the work that goes into raising a child, all the little milestones I missed with Ella…” He met her eyes, and to his credit he didn’t look away.

  “You feel guilty now.”

  “Yes. I did all along, but even more so now.” He lifted his hands. “All I can say is, I’m sorry, Tiana. For leaving you both like that, and for making you do all the hardest work in the world in raising her by yourself.”

  His apology surprised her. It seemed so sincere. But he’d fooled her before, and other men had since too. “Thank you for that.”

  He gave a slight nod. “How is she, anyway? Does she have a father figure in her life?”

  “No.” How was she? She was a gorgeous, bright and kind little girl who was always seeking the approval and attention of the men around her. Unconsciously trying to heal the wound of her father leaving her.

  Tiana had learned all of that when she’d taken Ella to an old college friend in Seattle who had a child psychology practice for therapy after the horrific incident with Brian. More than any of the rest of it, that knowledge broke her heart. “And to answer the first question, she’s fine. She’s well-adjusted, gets good grades and has a real way with animals.” In spite of everything. Ella was a miracle.

  Evan sighed almost in relief at her answer and sat back. “I appreciate that you were willing to do the mediation and do this without involving lawyers too much. And if it makes you feel any better, I have no intention of seeking partial custody. I don’t want to try and take Ella away from you. That’s not what this is about.”

  His words should have eased her deepest fears but instead they stirred them, making them shove against the lid of the box she’d stuffed them in before entering the restaurant. “That’s good. Because I would fight you until my dying breath to make sure that never happened.”

  He shook his head, a wry smile tugging at his mouth, and she’d be lying if she didn’t admit to feeling a subtle pang. He’d been her first love. Her first everything. And then he’d shattered her whole world. “You’re a lot tougher than you used to be.”

  He had no idea. “I’ve had to be tough.”

  “Yeah, I guess you would have.” His eyes held something that seemed a lot like respect, and that surprised her too. “All I’m asking for is a chance. If Ella wants to meet me, then I’d like to meet her. Introduce myself. Get to know each other a little. Talk over the phone every so often so we stay in touch. And maybe one day if she was comfortable she’d want to come to California—” Tiana opened her mouth to protest but he cut her off with an upraised hand and a firm look. “Maybe one day. I’m not saying anytime soon.”

  Not until hell freezes over. But it wasn’t her decision, was it? Once this initial visit happened, it would open a virtual Pandora’s box of possible repercussions. What if Ella wanted to be with him instead? What if one day, when she was old enough, Ella decided she wanted to move to California to be close to him? Or worse, move in with him?

  Fear congealed her insides, her stomach muscles cramping.

  She was already fifty steps ahead, worrying about things that might never happen. Her anxiety was expert at it. “When do you see this meeting happening?”

  “The sooner the better. I was hoping to see her before I fly home this weekend. The court liaison is free this Saturday, if that works.�
��

  So soon? “Where would you meet?” She didn’t want him coming to her house. It had to be on neutral ground.

  “Wherever Ella’s most comfortable.”

  It was what Ella wanted, so she had to find a way to make peace with it. “Fine. But you should know, Ella’s been through a lot already in her short life. If you do anything to hurt her or try to take her away, I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you never see her again.” She didn’t care if it made her seem like a cold, raging bitch. She didn’t give a shit what he thought of her—her only concern was for Ella. “Are we clear?”

  He held her gaze for a few heartbeats, taken off guard. “Yeah. We’re clear.”

  “Text me if it’s a go for Saturday.” She started to rise.

  Evan shot a hand out across the table to grasp her wrist. “Can’t you stay and eat? I was hoping we could…” He gave a nervous laugh, seemed at a loss of what else to say.

  She raised an eyebrow, incredulous. “What? Be friends?” Her acid tone let him know that was never going to happen.

  “That we could not be enemies at least,” he said slowly.

  She pulled free of his hand and straightened. “Whether or not we’re enemies depends entirely on you,” she said, then dropped a five-dollar bill on the table beside her untouched coffee and strode for the door.

  By the time she got to her car the shakes had settled in. She shut her door and gripped the wheel, glad he couldn’t see how much this had rattled her.

  Closing her eyes, she took slow, deep breaths until the worst of it had passed. She hated that Evan had once again become part of their lives, but there was no help for it. All she could do now was support her daughter and hope that the secret fear of losing Ella turned out to be unfounded.

  ****

  Evan stayed and ate alone, though he took Tiana’s empty seat to escape the blinding sun hitting him right in the eyeballs. The meeting hadn’t gone at all as he’d envisioned—or hoped.

  The woman he’d just met with was hard to reconcile with the one he’d once known, except physically. She was still as beautiful as ever, still dressed in her long, bohemian-style clothes. But there was a hardness to her now. A blade-sharp, cold edge that had sliced him where he sat, just from meeting her eyes.