Rocky Ground

by Kaylea Cross

  He’d risked his life to save them today. Without hesitation. Without any expectation of thanks or reward. And Tiana knew he would do it all again if necessary.

  This. This was what true love felt like. Safe and fulfilled in ways she could never have imagined, even as it threatened to fracture her heart into a thousand pieces.

  Even though it was going to rip her to shreds to see him go, she wouldn’t have changed any of it for a single second.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Two weeks later

  “Did you like the French toast, Mac?” Ella asked him as she hopped off the stool at the kitchen counter to take her plate to the sink.

  “I did, aye. It was brilliant.” She and Tiana had made it for him, with chocolate chips and whipped cream on the side.

  She beamed at him, came back to throw her arms around him and press a kiss to his cheek. “Good. I’m going to go read now.”

  The lass melted him without even trying. He was going to miss her almost as much as he would her mother when he left, and he was still trying like hell to find a permanent solution that would allow him to come back to them for good. “All right.”

  Tiana stood at the sink doing the breakfast dishes, her back to them. She’d been quiet all morning, a little distant even, as though she was trying to pull back from him already. It would be kinder to let her, but he couldn’t. She was his and he wanted to imprint himself on every cell in her body before he left. Because he would find a way back to her.

  She stiffened when he came up to settle his hands on his waist, her spine going rigid. Seconds passed, only the sound of rushing water from the tap filling the void.

  He reached past her to shut it off and took the plate from her wet hands, then wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled the side of her neck, ignoring the tension in her body. “The dishes will keep,” he murmured.

  He’d spent the past two weeks falling asleep beside her, waking her with caresses and kisses until she was wet and needy and he could slide into her from behind and rock them both to heaven. While she was at work during the day and Ella at school, he’d helped his mates out with repairs around their places, trying to formulate a plan that ensured he came back to his lasses as soon as humanly possible.

  Tiana swallowed audibly. “I just… I need to keep busy.” Her voice was as taut as her muscles. “I’ll finish these up while you pack.”

  He was dreading the moment he said goodbye. There was no way to make it hurt less, for any of them. “All right.” He kissed the side of her neck, then her cheek.

  Ella’s door was shut when he walked down the hallway. She seemed to be handling everything that had happened well, with two video chat appointments per week with Tiana’s child psychologist friend in Seattle. With Brian dead any threat against her or Tiana was gone.

  Noah and his team had uncovered certain things about Brian’s activities over the days leading up to his death. He’d been at the same law office as Evan and had somehow put it all together and decided to hurt Tiana by leaving the file. It had his fingerprints on it. Aidan hoped the bastard was roasting in hell.

  In the master bedroom Aidan started gathering all the clothes and other items he’d brought over during the past two weeks. Tiana had helped him pack up everything else at Noah’s old place yesterday.

  He looked up when the door closed. Tiana stood with her back against it. They stared at each other in silence for a long moment, latent hunger arcing between them, then she reached behind her and turned the lock quietly.

  He dropped the shirt in his hand and faced her, his heart thudding hard against his sternum as he stalked toward her. Wrapping one hand in her hair, he tipped her head back to search her eyes. They were wet with unshed tears, the green and hazel even more vivid than usual. He made a low sound and covered her mouth with his.

  She clamped her arms around his neck, holding on so tight as she opened for him, meeting the thrust of his tongue as he wrapped his free arm around her hips and hoisted her up. Her legs locked around his waist, bringing her core against the hardness of his cock.

  He crossed the small distance to the bed and fell on top of it with her, plunging both hands into her hair while he devoured her mouth. She grabbed at the bottom of his shirt and yanked. A seam ripped.

  They went at each other with greedy hands, both of them urgent, desperate. When they were both naked he caught her hands and pinned them on either side of her head, waiting for her to relax a little. Surrender.

  Her quiet sob ripped him apart.

  “Don’t,” he rasped out, squeezing his eyes shut as a wall of grief rose inside him. He couldn’t bear to see her cry and know he was the cause of it. He’d never meant to hurt her. Hadn’t meant to fall this hard. But they both had. Now they had to pay the price.

  “I can’t lose you,” she choked out, tightening her legs around him. As if she couldn’t get close enough.

  Ah, shite.

  He slanted his lips across hers, possessing her mouth as he longed to possess her body. By the time he got the condom on he was riding the edge of control, ready to explode.

  He barely had the presence of mind to cover her mouth with his as she lost it, bucking in his arms, clenching around him with a choked, keening cry. He kept moving, kept stroking between her legs until she grabbed his hand to stop him and then gripped him tight around the back.

  “Come in me,” she whispered, a desperate edge to her voice.

  Aidan caught her wrists, bringing them over her head and held them there, staring down into her eyes as he plunged in and out of her. Demanding. Forceful. Way rougher than he had ever been before, but he needed it, and the way she softened and melted for him as if she knew it sent him rocketing over the edge.

  He threw his head back and clenched his teeth together, a throttled groan escaping as he locked deep inside her and let go.

  When the pleasure faded enough for him to breathe, he released her wrists and settled his weight on his forearms. Her eyes were wet again as she stared up at him, but that sharp edge of grief was gone, replaced by a soul deep sadness that he would give anything to be able to erase.

  “I love you, lass,” he whispered raggedly. “Desperately.”

  She pressed her lips together for a moment, regaining control, then nodded. “I love you the same way.”

  That’s why this hurt so bloody bad. He’d thought he’d been gutted when Ginny walked out on him. This was a thousand times worse. It was like he was literally bleeding inside and nothing could staunch it.

  “People do year-long separations all the time in the military,” he said, trying to put a positive spin on things. “My contract’s less than that, even worst-case scenario. It’ll be over before we know it, and hopefully by then I’ll have an answer about my work visa here.” No matter what happened, he would find a way to come back to them.

  “But you’ll be in danger that whole time,” she whispered, her expression stricken.

  He didn’t want her to worry about him constantly, and tried to ease her mind. “I’ll be fine, lass. This time I’m on a private security detail, not out doing combat ops like I did as a Royal.”

  She cupped the back of his head and tugged him into a kiss, then tucked his face into the curve of her neck. “I just want it to be over.”

  He didn’t know if she meant the upcoming agony of the goodbye, or the contract he had to fulfill. “Maybe I should go to the airport alone.”

  “No,” she said fiercely. “I’m not giving up one second of the time I have left with you.”

  He wished he could have reversed their positions and held her like that for hours, stroking her hair and skin, but he had to leave in twenty minutes or he’d risk missing his flight.

  He drove Tiana’s car to the airport, her beside him and Ella in the back seat.

  Tiana held his hand the entire way. They made several attempts at conversation but they all fell flat, and even Ella was uncharacteristically quiet. It seemed like it got harder to breathe with each mile
they drew closer to the airport.

  “Maybe you and your mom can come to visit me in Edinburgh when I get back from my assignment,” he said to Ella. “I could show you the old town and the castle. You would love it.”

  “I’ll be ten by then,” she said, making it sound like it was a decade from now instead of six to nine months.

  “Aye, you will. And taller too, I’ll wager.” It made him sad to think of all he’d be missing out on with them.

  Tiana’s hand tightened around his when the sign for the airport came into view. He squeezed back, pulled it to his lips to kiss it. “Want to just drop me at the curb?”

  “No,” both of them answered simultaneously.

  It felt like there was a lead weight in the center of his chest as they walked into the terminal together. Tiana and Ella insisted on staying with him while he checked himself and his bags in. But they could go no farther and he’d waited as long as he could. His flight was boarding shortly and he still had to clear security.

  Two long faces awaited him when he turned around from the counter, and the sight of them so sad was like a knife to the gut. “Hey, it’s not forever,” he told them, trying for a light tone. “It’ll go by so fast, you’ll see. And you’ll be so busy with Bruce once he comes to live with you next week. Lizzie’s coming to stay with you after her trip as well.” She was thrilled that he and Tiana were together, as were their friends and his parents, who desperately wanted to meet her and Ella.

  Neither of their expressions changed. He grinned. “You two could give Walter a run for his money right now with those expressions.”

  Rather than laugh or even crack a grin, Tiana bit her lip and Ella made a little hitching sound.

  Ah, God. How had he gotten so damn lucky to find them? And now that he had, there was no damn way he was giving up on making a life together somehow. “Come here,” he murmured, and gathered them both close.

  Ella reached her arms up to try and wind around his neck and started crying.

  “Hey,” he said in an anguished whisper, hoisting her up in the crook of his arm. She jammed her face into his neck and clung to him like a monkey, her little shoulders shaking with the force of her sobs.

  “I want you to s-stay and be my forever dad,” she cried.

  Aidan closed his eyes and hugged her as tight as he dared without hurting her, tears burning his eyes like acid. “Ah, lass, I want that too,” he said in a rough whisper.

  Tiana laid her head on his shoulder, her arms wrapped around them both. “Just be safe and always remember that we love you,” she said.

  “I will, I swear it. And you both remember how much I love you, too.”

  This was awful. A million times worse than he’d imagined. It felt like there was a raw, gaping hole in his chest where his heart was supposed to be. Not far from the truth, since he was leaving it behind with his girls.

  A voice over the PA system announced that his flight was boarding. He had to move his arse if he was going to make the plane.

  “Ah, Christ, I have to go,” he whispered, giving them both one last fierce squeeze. Then he let them go.

  He kissed the top of Ella’s blond head that smelled of her special detangling shampoo, then cupped Tiana’s cheek in his hand. He swallowed, his vision blurred by the sheen of tears he couldn’t hide. “My bonnie red-haired lass. I love you. And I’m coming back to you when this is done. This isn’t the end. We’ll talk as often as we can—there’s phone, text, email…” He would find a way to make it work. There had to be a way. He was going to spend the rest of his life with her.

  She slid her hands into his hair, her lips clinging to his for one last, lingering kiss. Then she stepped back and he could literally see the steely cloak she protected herself with drawing around her. “Be safe.”

  “Aye, always.” He picked up his carryon, paused to look at her one last time. “Bye.”

  The smile she put on broke his bleeding heart in half. “Bye.”

  He didn’t allow himself to look back, glad neither of them could see the tears he’d been fighting back begin to fall.

  Epilogue

  Eight months and three days later

  Edinburgh

  “Aidan, did you dust the top shelves for me in the bookcase?”

  He didn’t look up from the book he was reading in a lounge chair in the living room. He’d only arrived at his parents’ house last night, fresh off a flight from Afghanistan on what had felt like the longest deployment of his entire life. Every Hogmanay his mum turned into a cleaning cyclone and they’d all learned to go with it. “I did.”

  “And the top of the kitchen cabinets? You know I can’t reach those, even with the stepladder.”

  He turned the page, only paying partial attention to her. “Aye.”

  His mum bustled in a moment later wearing her red dress with the MacIntyre plaid shawl draped around her shoulders, holding the traditional smoking juniper branch in one hand. She waved it around and muttered some Gaelic, “purifying” the room.

  He shook his head. “We just spent the better part of three hours scrubbing this place from top to bottom, and now you fill it with smoke.”

  “It’s tradition,” she argued, and hurried toward the kitchen to purify it too.

  The book he was reading was okay, but it couldn’t hold his attention. Tiana and Ella were flying in from Oregon in two days, and after not being able to touch or hold his lasses for so many months—no amount of video chats or calls or emails could match that—finally seeing them in person again was pretty much all he could think about.

  Ella had proven incredibly resilient in how she’d recovered from all that had happened with Brian, and Evan had stayed consistently in contact, even coming up to see her once a month. Aidan was literally counting the hours until they arrived.

  “Did you put the whisky and the shortbread by the door?” his mum called out a moment later from the kitchen. “It’s quarter to midnight. Maggie and the girls should be here any minute, and I want everything to be ready for first footing.”

  “It’s all ready.” His dad was far smarter than him, hiding upstairs until she’d finished the redding of the house.

  The front door opened and his little sister Maggie tramped inside with her husband and teenage girls. “Made it! It’s so pretty out there with the snow falling, but I hate driving in it.”

  Aidan hugged her and the girls. “Good to see you lassies.”

  “Same to you.” His sister beamed up at him. “Glad you decided to wear your kilt this year.”

  “Mum insisted.” He didn’t mind so much as he didn’t get the chance to dress up all that often anymore.

  “Look at you, all dressed up with nowhere to go,” Heather said and gave him a big kiss on the cheek.

  “My turn,” Sophie said, and gave him one on his other cheek.

  “And you both look far too grown up for a fifteen and seventeen-year-old.” He looked at his brother-in-law. “It’s not too late to lock them both away yet. We’ll let them out when they’re twenty-five.”

  “Not that again,” Sophie groaned. She was the baby but looked at least nineteen and Aidan had already put the fear of God into the boy she’d brought over to meet them last night.

  “I know how boys think, lass.”

  “Well, what David now thinks is that he’s never coming over here again while you’re around. He’s terrified.”

  Aidan grinned. “Aye. That’s a good thing.”

  “Good, everyone’s here,” his mum said, marching back in with the smoking juniper branch. She waved it at everyone, making them all flap their hands in front of their faces and cough.

  “Granny, ugh, that’s so old school,” Heather complained. “Who does that anymore?”

  “Och, shush.” She waved it a few more times for good measure, twice more over Sophie’s head, maybe to purify thoughts of David out of her hormone-addled brain, then tossed the branch into the fire crackling away in the hearth. She kissed Maggie and the girls, then Gr
aham. “All right, come and eat something before the bells.”

  They gathered around the table to help themselves to bites his mum had made for them, talking and laughing while they waited for the stroke of midnight. They’d celebrated Hogmanay this way every year for as long as he could remember, but tonight there was something missing.

  Two people, to be precise. And each of them owned a half of his heart.

  “A toast,” his dad said, raising his glass. They all raised theirs. “I wish you all love, peace and prosperity in the New Year. Lang may your lum reek. Happy New Year.”

  “Happy New Year,” everyone chorused.

  He’d missed this more than he’d realized. Being surrounded by family in his childhood home and taking part in their traditions, especially Hogmanay, which was a much bigger deal than Christmas in Scotland, but especially Edinburgh. But this year his enjoyment was diminished by the absence of the two people who had come to mean everything to him.

  He’d surprised Tiana and Ella with the plane tickets on Christmas Day, and even though he loved his family, his lasses were his world now. He couldn’t wait to introduce them to everyone and show them around his city.

  The past eight months had been the longest of his life. Even with frequent video chats and phone calls, it wasn’t the same as being able to wrap his arms around them.

  His green card application was moving forward, and he had enough money saved up that he could move back to Crimson Point for the better part of a year before needing to make more. Hopefully by then, something more permanent would be decided.

  He and the others gathered around the fire with a drink while they waited for the clock to tick down. At the one-minute mark his mum got ready to start the countdown, watching the second hand with her eagle eye. “Ten! Nine!”

  They counted down the remaining seconds together. At the stroke of midnight they all cried Happy New Year and did another round of hugs and kisses.