The Gamble (The Gamble Series Book 1)

by Kathryn Jacques

  Jax and Randolph rush across the space, ducking between cars as they make a beeline for the exit. Nadia’s extra weight slows me down and I need to limp because the pain in my side throbs worse, spreading into my lungs and making it harder to take a full breath.

  At last we are across the garage and facing a tree covered hillside.

  “Hold on,” Jax says, scanning the area intently. “They’ll have patrols in the first mile or two. It would be best to split up so if we do run into trouble, there’s a better chance of some of us making it back to alert the others.”

  “I’m not leaving Kelsey!” whimpers Nadia, wrapping her arms tighter around my neck, her hair tickling my cheek.

  “And with Kelsey’s injury, we can’t have her and Nadia alone,” says Randolph.

  “I know,” Jax replies. “Which is why you, Kelsey and Nadia are going to head straight north that way.” He points to a dilapidated brick building and then miles of woods beyond. “I’m going to circle around through the perimeter and draw any potential guards away from you. If all goes well, I’ll only be an hour behind.”

  “That’s insane, Jax,” I argue. I want to make my voice sound forceful and authoritative, but I’m so weak and woozy that my tongue feels three sizes too big for my mouth, causing my speech to slur. Dots prance across my eyes as Jax and Randolph stare at me in alarm. I shake my head, but it suddenly weights a hundred pounds and lolls around uncontrolled.

  “Kelsey?” Jax reaches for me, but he can’t help. My vision tunnels and my knees give out. I fall forward onto the ground, Nadia jumping free of my arms and then kneeling beside me, her tiny hand on my shoulder.

  I touch my forehead, willing the world to stop rotating as cold sweat breaks out along my skin.

  “Change of plans,” Jax says. “We’ll take our chances with the patrols.”

  Then he leans down and scoops me into his arms, one under my knees and the other my lower back. The world lurches again and I moan, jerking my arms out because I feel like I’m falling. But Jax is strong, stronger than I ever considered, and I’m weightless and floating as he straightens up again.

  “Put your arms around my neck,” he instructs. I do, but I’m so frail and tired it takes all my effort to hold on.

  “Come on half-pint,” Randolph says, hoisting Nadia into a piggy-back and then we are all moving through the woods. The bouncing makes me feel even worse and my eyelids won’t stay open, so I bury my face into Jax’s chest where he holds me secure. Aware of the gentle sway of his movement and the soothing beat of his heart, I fall asleep.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  My eyes flutter open and I’m immediately confused by my surroundings. An intricate wood paneled ceiling stretches above me and I am laying on a soft bed that is nearly as large as the one I had in the O.Z. Grey light penetrates tall windows and the drum of rain pounds the roof. I wonder if everyone notices the sound of raindrops, or just me because it’s still so new.

  Then I remember last night; Randolph and Jax coming for me, escaping, almost passing out because I’d lost so much blood. I vaguely remember waking up to see us arrive at a large stone manor house with Charlie and other compound members running to greet us and someone looking at my injuries.

  Lifting the hem of my shirt, I see a clean bandage wound around my stomach. Someone even tried to clean up all the dried blood caked to my skin. I scrape at some of it with my fingernail. I have no idea if it’s mine or if it belongs to the woman I murdered. Or maybe somehow to the people Jax murdered. But I don’t want to think about any of that. I am free and alive, once again saved by those who shouldn’t want anything to do with a Sub.

  Like a tidal wave crashing onto the seashore, understanding floods through me. They saved me. Me. The girl who doesn’t belong. The girl they are supposed to hate.

  Sitting up is an agonizing process because, in addition to the wound in my side, my ribs are still not healed and cuts and bruises cover half my body, but I slowly push myself upright and notice Jax asleep in an overstuffed armchair tucked into a little alcove beside my bed. He’s changed into clean cargo pants and a grey t-shirt. His head is propped against the back of the chair, one leg folded to his chest and a piece of hair hanging over his face.

  He looks serene and peaceful and a flood of happiness streams through me. In all the events of last night, I didn’t have time to reflect on anything but survival. Now it occurs to me that I thought I’d never see him again and that maybe I actually kind of like him. A huge grin spreads over my face and I can’t control the giddiness rising up inside though I realize I’m being incredibly ridiculous.

  Picking up my pillow, I hurl it, hitting him in the left shoulder and startling him awake. When his blue-green eyes meet mine, they widen and he leaps to his feet to crouch beside the bed, elbows resting on the mattress. He goes to reach for my hand but stops himself and I’m disappointed because all I want to do is touch him, to hold his hand and prove that he’s really here and I’m safe again.

  “How do you feel?” he asks.

  “Like I’ve been beaten and stabbed, but I’ll live. What happened?”

  “You were in pretty bad shape so Randolph and I took turns carrying you back here, to the safe house Charlie set up. Took a couple hours, but at least we didn’t have another run in with the League or we’d have been screwed. And this is me admitting that.”

  With astonishment, I stare down into his face. I realize I’ve never looked at him so closely before. His nose is a little crooked, as though it were broken once before and didn’t heal properly. There’s a thin, faded scar high on his forehead mostly covered by his hair. I almost reach out to brush his hair aside, but stop myself because I’m scared he’ll pull away and I don’t know if I can handle the rejection. “I still can’t believe you guys came for me.”

  He seems confused, as if he doesn’t understand why I’d say such a thing. “What was I supposed to do? Leave you there?”

  “I’m just a Sub.”

  He lifts his right arm, showing me the fake barcode. “Then I guess I’m a Sub now too.”

  “But that will come off won’t it?”

  Licking his lips, he shakes his head. “No. We couldn’t risk using paint or something that would come off because if the League figured it out, they’d kill us. Charlie had someone at the compound tattoo them onto our skin. It’s as permanent as yours.”

  This time, without even thinking, I trace my fingers across his wrist and over the tattoo that’s barely a week old, but almost looks like it’s been a part of him his entire life, just like mine. Something he despised so much, something that stands for lies and oppression, and he willingly inked it onto his body forever. One more thing we have in common now. Demons and tattoos, the two things linking us together.

  “You and Randolph both did that to save me? I’m not even one of you.”

  Lifting one dark eyebrow, he rotates his hand so that he’s holding mine and my heart beats faster. “You are one of us. That’s why we came for you. Charlie put it to a vote at the compound and nearly everyone agreed. You should see how many people volunteered to come.”

  My disbelief is impossible to hide. “People volunteered?”

  “Of course!” he exclaims with exasperation. “Raoul might be a jackass, but after what you did to save his daughter, marched out to take patrol, and then with everything Ashlynn did to us; to you; people lined up to come down here. I had to turn over sixty away because we couldn’t reasonably take more than ten.”

  “You led them?”

  “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “Because you could have been killed!”

  “I know, but I didn’t care about any of that. We had… I had to save you. I can’t just let you die,” he replies. Our eyes lock and I see something different behind his. Something I’ve never noticed before, but it sends a flood of warmth through my body. I realize he still has my hand and tiny butterflies flit in my stomach.

  Then the corners of his mouth curl up and his face wrinkl
es with a playful grin. “Besides, I still haven’t gotten either of those kisses you owe me.”

  I don’t know what to say, but I don’t need to say anything at all because the next thing I know, his lips crush down on mine, hungry and intense.

  And despite rational thought, I’m kissing him back. At first, guilt consumes me because it’s been barely three weeks since Rey died. But then I remind myself that that’s just it. Rey is dead, Jax isn’t. Whatever feelings Rey and I may have had toward each other don’t matter anymore. I can’t let them matter if I have any hope of moving forward with my life.

  Where Rey had been gentle and hesitant, Jax is the opposite; powerful and passionate, setting my blood on fire, the heat racing along my veins with a life of its own. As I sit straighter, pressing into his kiss, he shifts closer and his arms lace around my body as if he’s afraid to let me go because I might somehow evaporate into nothingness if he does.

  Any pain I might have felt is overridden by the feel of Jax against me, his body hard and strong and unbreakable. I wrap my hands into his thick hair, vanquishing the last of the space between us. As his mouth moves against mine, I can’t breathe, but I don’t even need to anymore because somehow breathing has become trivial.

  Standing, and with a gentle grip on my waist, he lifts me until I kneel on the edge of the bed. His hands wander over my shoulder blades and up the back of my neck until they are tangled in my curls. I realize he tastes like the rain and all I want to do is stay in this moment forever.

  When his lips do eventually break away from mine, he lowers his head until it rests between my neck and collar bone. I can feel his heavy breathing against my skin. It sends a tingle up my spine. I grasp the back of his shirt in my fingers, clinging to him, and lay my cheek atop his head.

  “I’ve wanted to do that since the moment I saw you,” he murmurs.

  “I seem to remember you wanted to shoot me the moment you saw me.”

  Lifting his head, he cups my chin in his hands, his thumbs gently running across the mosaic of scars and bruises on my face as if he has the power to erase them. I reach up and lay my hands over his, our fingers entwining together.

  “Fair enough,” he says. “But I’m glad I didn’t.”

  “I’m kind of glad you didn’t too.”

  He smiles, then moves forward to kiss me again, but this time it’s soft and slow and my whole body turns to jelly as I lean into him. He touches his forehead to mine, eyes closed and long lashes brushing the fine, delicate skin underneath.

  “Jax,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry about Daniel. I wish I could have done something.”

  He hardens and drifts away, somehow taking a part of me with him so I’m left cold and disappointed. The iron doors behind his eyes slam back into place, an impenetrable barricade between him and the world.

  “It wasn’t your fault. And Ashlynn got what she deserved.”

  “The League killed him, that guy Elijah,” I say, though if I were smart, I’d stop talking. “And while I would have happily seen Ashlynn punished, she didn’t deserve what the League did. They’re horrible.”

  “Well, they aren’t going anywhere any time soon,” he snaps. “Considering what we’ve done to save you, they’ll be at the compound soon enough.”

  “You think they’ll retaliate?” Dread unfurls inside my chest like a snake.

  “Of course, they will!” he exclaims, standing and pacing the room. His shoulders hunch forward and he runs his hands through his hair. “That was the gamble we were willing to make, but the League doesn’t take stuff like that lightly.”

  At his choice of words, I feel a tautness in my chest, like a fist squeezing my heart. He doesn’t know what he said, doesn’t know what it means or the effect his words have on me. After all, it was once just a simple, meaningless expression. ROC made it evil.

  But his words are also true, as they are with ROC. It was a gamble, all of our choices are, and they always affect others, whether we mean them to or not. Someone made the choice to have a child, so Rey died. I made the choice to murder that woman and escape the League, now members of the compound will die. This time, I took a gamble, and now others will pay the price.

  Deep inside my gut, anger billows at the unfairness of it all. “What does it matter? Why am I so important? What does anyone care about ROC when ninety-nine percent of the people down there have no idea there’s even life on the surface?”

  Jax flips around, his jaw tense and eyes blazing as though they are a cold, turquoise fire. “Because the one percent that does know, has made our lives miserable up here.”

  “But how? I don’t understand.”

  “Because you haven’t been willing to understand,” he growls. His words hurt, but they are true.

  I look at the floor and wring my hands in my lap. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just been so much to take in.”

  The mattress sags and I lift my head to see Jax sitting beside me, so close our shoulders almost touch and my stomach knots because we have just kissed, and now we’re fighting and I don’t know how to act or behave or think or anything.

  “I sometimes forget what you’ve been through,” he says carefully, staring at the wall on the opposite side of the room as if it tells him what to say. “I sometimes forget that until a few weeks ago, you never even breathed real, fresh air and you are trying to swim through lies so thick, I’m not even sure those who do know the truth realize how deep the lies run.”

  “I’m ready now though.”

  He turns his head to look at me and the expression on his face is so sad. But not the kind of sadness reserved for himself, the kind of sadness meant for me. The way someone would look at a child whose innocence has just been destroyed by something heinous and life-altering. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. Whatever this is, it has decided to involve me. It’s time I learned the full truth.”

  He rises, offering me his hand and helping me to my feet. I wince against the pain that moving causes, but an electricity runs between our fingers and it makes me stronger, like I can handle anything.

  “Let’s go find Charlie,” Jax says. “She can tell you everything.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  “Kelsey,” Charlie says in surprise as Jax and I enter the dining room. She’s seated at the dusty, ancient looking dining table with drawings and maps laid out in front of her though she pays no mind to any of it. Standing from her chair, she looks at me with concern. “Shouldn’t you be resting?”

  “I’ve done enough resting. Jax says you’re the best person for me to learn what happened between the Occupied and Unoccupied Zones.”

  She nods slowly. “Yes, but do you think you’re ready for this?”

  “No, but it’s time. I need to know the truth. I’m tired of believing lies and being caught up in something I don’t fully understand. I made the agreement to trust you and to make your compound my home. Your people have already risked their lives to rescue me and with whatever the League is planning, I need to understand why and where my place in all of this falls.”

  “Fine. Jax, I think this might be easier on Kelsey if we’re alone, please.”

  He casts me one last look, as if assessing whether or not I can survive what’s about to come, and then slips from the room, closing the door behind him with a soft creak.

  Charlie moves her documents aside, clearing a corner of the table and then we sit adjacent each other in worn leather chairs with broken arms and torn backings. The tattered remains of moth-eaten velvet curtains hang over the windows. Outside, the sky looms grey and cloudy. Members of the compound patrol the yard; weapons ready in the chance the League finds our hiding spot.

  Resting her elbows on her knees, Charlie leans toward me. “So, where do you want me to start?”

  I pause for a moment because I have no idea. Where does one begin a century old history lesson?

  “In ROC,” I say, “we’re taught that there was a third world war and the violence and revolts got so bad that on
ce the former United Nations was disbanded, countries started bombing each other. Eventually several of them, the United States included, launched nuclear attacks, eradicating all life on the surface, The original citizens of ROC were chosen to be the last of humanity and sealed inside the subterranean city until the earth had time to heal.”

  “Well, that’s partially correct. Based on what I’ve been told by my grandparents who were alive during the war, ROC was originally an experiment, though I’m not really sure what for, and there was a lot of violence and revolts on the surface, particularly in the United States.”

  “If the other countries weren’t bombed, what happened to the rest of the world?”