The Gamble (The Gamble Series Book 1)

by Kathryn Jacques

  “It ended up being Charlie and Daniel and some others from this compound. I was too afraid to approach them, but after they saw they couldn’t do anything and left, I followed them back here, watched the compound for a couple more days until I was so starved and exhausted I went up to the front gate. They locked me and Tisis up in that same cabin we had you in and I refused to speak to anyone. I think I just wanted to die and hoped they would kill me so I wouldn’t have to do it myself.”

  “Then Daniel came. He kind of reminded me of my father and he didn’t try to make me talk or eat or do anything I didn’t want to do. He just sat with me and occasionally told those ridiculous jokes of his. And now he’s left me. Now he’s dead just like everyone else I ever cared about.”

  I have no warning, let alone a chance to react, as Jax picks up the empty whiskey glass and hurls it against the far wall where it explodes into a thousand shards that twinkle in the lantern light as they fall to the floor. The sound makes me jump as I stare at him with a mixture of utter shock and heart-breaking sorrow.

  Lowering his head into his hands, he suddenly appears so vulnerable and I can picture a twelve-year-old Jax arriving at the gates of the compound needing help and having nowhere else to go.

  Leaning forward, I touch his arm and he looks up, as though he’s startled I’m here.

  “Daniel didn’t leave Jax, he was taken. He’d never leave you.”

  “He did leave me. He left me here because of Charlie’s stupid punishment and then he never came back.”

  Slumping forward, he rests his cheek on the table, and it occurs to me that he’s probably very drunk.

  “Come on,” I say, rising from the table and walking around to help him up. “Let’s get you to bed.”

  He stands, staggering and falling against the table, rattling the half empty bottle. I grab his arm to keep him upright and feel solid, bulking muscle beneath my fingers.

  “Wow… I am dizzy…” he says with a half-smile of amusement.

  “I can imagine.” I drag his right arm over my shoulders and guide him toward the living room.

  “I can just sleep on the sofa,” he mumbles, sliding away from me and tossing himself sideways onto the shabby old couch with a missing cushion and the fabric on the back worn so thin it’s almost transparent.

  I have no energy to argue, and I don’t want to wake Nadia by trying to get him upstairs anyway, so I yank a blanket off the back of the couch and drape it over him. Suddenly, he flails an arm out and takes my hand in his.

  “You’re so beautiful, Kelsey,” he murmurs, gazing at me with admiration and even in just the moonlight from outside, I can see the dazzling color of his eyes.

  I crouch on the floor. “You’re so drunk, Jax.”

  “You won’t leave me, will you?” he asks, his expression serious as he squeezes my hand tighter.

  Words catch in my throat. I can’t do this again. I can’t agree to this. Why does everyone want me to promise these things? Don’t they see I’m barely holding myself together?

  But he leans closer to me, as if he is frantic for some reassurance only I can provide. “Please Kelsey, promise you won’t leave.”

  He looks so fragile and I don’t have the heart to be the one to break him. He’s been broken enough. We both have. “I promise, Jax. I won’t leave. Now please go to sleep.”

  He flops back on the sofa, and within a moment soft snores pass his lips. I push to my feet, staring at his relaxed form and I’m angry at myself because once again, I have made a promise I’m not entirely sure I can keep. And then I’m angry at him for asking, for being drunk and dumping this weight onto my shoulders like everyone else.

  I storm into the kitchen, seize the half empty bottle of Whiskey off the table, and then march out the back door. The night air hangs heavy and humid, summer only a few weeks away.

  I rush down the stairs and onto the grass, soft and cushiony beneath my feet. Turning the whiskey bottle upside down, I allow the liquid to seep into the earth.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  “Kelsey,” a tiny voice whispers, dragging me away from my dreams. “Kelsey, wake up.”

  I blink my eyes open. Nadia hovers over me, her gaunt face inches from my own. We need to feed her more. She needs to gain weight. She’s eight years old and the size of a five-year-old.

  “There’s something wrong with Jax,” she says. “And I found a dog.”

  With a groan, I roll over and sit up, rubbing at my eyes. The wolf sits beside her, watching both of us with her head cocked to one side and ears pricked as if she can understand our conversation. “She’s not a dog, Nadia, she’s a wolf and her name is Tisis.

  “There’s something wrong with Jax,” the little girl repeats with urgency. “He won’t get off the couch and he’s moaning and complaining about his head killing him. I think he’s sick.”

  Pinching the bridge of my nose, I sigh. “He’s not sick. He’s just an idiot.”

  Slipping from the bed, I realize I’m still in my dirty clothes from yesterday. I don’t care. Jamming my feet into my boots, I stomp down the stairs as loud as possible, Nadia scampering behind and Tisis on her heels, claws clicking on the wood floor.

  I stop beside the sofa where Jax has buried himself under the blanket, and place both hands on my hips. “Get. Up.”

  “I can’t. I think I’m dying,” the blanket says.

  “You aren’t dying.”

  “Can I have a glass of water?”

  “You can have as much water as you want, but you’re getting it yourself.”

  “Kelsey,” he says, tugging the blanket down so I can see his face and even I have to admit that he looks like crap, which for Jax, is quite a feat. He casts me what Elsa once called “puppy-dog eyes”. “Please can you bring me a glass of water and then I’ll get up. My mouth feels like sandpaper.”

  Without a word, I spin on my heels and march to the kitchen, Nadia following with piqued interest.

  There’s just enough water left in the sink bucket for me to pour it into a glass. Sauntering back to the living room where Jax has fallen back asleep with an arm over his eyes, I pause for a moment. Then, tipping the glass, I let the water slowly cascade down onto his face.

  Sputtering and waving his arms, he lurches into a sitting position, hair clinging to his wet skin.

  “Seriously? You have a really hard time just letting me sleep, don’t you?” he demands, glaring. Nadia cowers behind me, peeking out around my waist.

  “You brought this on yourself. Now, if you get off the couch and go wash up, I’ll make breakfast.”

  “Fine.” He tosses the blanket away and lurches to his feet, brow furrowed.

  “And we’re out of fresh water,” I add. “You’ll need to go get more from the well.” And before he can respond, I flip around and stalk into the kitchen to see what food we have left.

  * * *

  Aside from silverware scraping on the plates, breakfast is silent. I’m still mad, Jax is still hung-over and Nadia perches awkwardly on her chair glancing back and forth between the two of us probably wishing she hadn’t asked to live here after all. Tisis lays beside her, gobbling up any scraps Jax throws and oblivious to the tension.

  As we finish eating and I move to clean up, Nadia comes to help even though she’s barely tall enough to see over the kitchen counter.

  “I guess we need to figure out what to do with you,” I say because I’m not sure what is expected of children in the compound. I’ve seen them help with basic tasks, and most of the teenagers are assigned jobs, but I have no idea what the younger ones do.

  “There’s school,” Jax offers. The food seems to have done him well, he at least doesn’t look like death warmed over anymore, with a little color in his cheeks and eyes bright.

  “School?”

  “Yeah. In that long brown building. We only have about seventy kids under thirteen, which is when they start working, but they go to school to learn to read and write and stuff before then. Depending o
n how they do and what they’re interested in helps us assign jobs for them when they’re older.”

  “Can I please go to school?” Nadia begs, bouncing on her toes in excitement. “I’ve never gotten to learn anything.”

  "Absolutely," I say, enjoying the grin that spreads over her face.

  * * *

  An hour and a half later, and after a much-needed bath, Nadia and I trail Jax across the compound to the brown building in the center. Mold creeps up the walls and most of the front door and window frames have decayed into nothing. Dozens of children play outside with several adults keeping order.

  "Morning Jaxon," an older woman calls. With her grey hair, round stomach and lined face, she reminds me of Elsa and a slight pang of guilt and longing tugs my insides. I never even said good-bye to Elsa, she has no idea what happened to me. I’m sure she thinks I’m dead. By now though, she’s probably back in the Subs, her job in Sector A finished unless my father decided to keep her as a cook and housekeeper. I wonder if she is still able to get the medicine she needs to live.

  Jax nods an acknowledgement to the elderly woman. "Kelsey, this is Moreen. Moreen, Kelsey. And this is Nadia. I'm sure you've already heard about her and she wants to go to school."

  But Moreen isn't focused on Nadia, she's staring at me and I shift uncomfortably.

  "You saved my granddaughter," she says.

  "I... what?"

  "That baby you carried out of the burning house. She is my granddaughter, my daughter's child. Don't pay any attention to that closed-minded dimwit my daughter calls a husband. People here are impressed, even grateful for what you did. What you both did," she says, now looking at Jax. He appears almost embarrassed and tries to look anywhere except at Moreen and eventually decides to inspect the ground, his hands stuck into his pockets.

  Nadia glances up at the woman. "They saved me too. They're heroes." Then she hops up the single step and disappears into the building, chasing after two other children about her age.

  It’s never occurred to me that I’m a hero. I mean, I guess by definition I am, but that wasn’t my thought at the time. I never intended, never even wanted to be a hero. I just couldn’t leave people to die when I could do something to stop it. Isn’t that what most people would do?

  Isn’t that what Rey did?

  The jarring thought jerks me out of reality. Now I understand why he did what he did, putting in his number extra times so others wouldn’t have to. Saving families from the grief he had already suffered.

  “If either of you ever need anything, you let me know,” Moreen announces before following the children inside.

  I stand, my mouth hanging half open for almost a full minute before Jax takes my hand, dragging me toward the driveway that leads to the entrance of the compound. “Come on.”

  Frowning, I yank my hand away. “I’d like to point out that I am still mad at you.”

  “I figured. Let’s go for a walk.”

  Sighing, I follow him to the entrance where we are released from the compound and into the forest.

  Stepping from the gates and into the wilderness always seems to catch my breath, like a balloon floating up inside me. It’s the most free I have ever felt in my life because nothing stands between me and thousands of miles of earth and sky and beauty. I could run and never stop running and I sometimes wonder what I would find out there, what other secrets and surprises this planet has waiting for someone to discover them.

  And now I know there are other people out there, far more than I could have ever imagined. Other continents and countries, cultures, languages, lives that I only read about in history lessons and assumed would never exist again.

  I hate that I have been lied to my whole life, nothing will ever change that, but a part of me is grateful that I get to experience it this way. Maybe if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t understand how wonderful this world truly is, I wouldn’t find the magic and wonder in things others don’t seem to notice at all. Maybe I would have taken it all for granted too.

  Of course, now there’s the whole situation with the League coming to enact revenge and I cast a nervous glance around, expecting some black clad figure to jump from the trees and attack. “Should we be out here?”

  Jax offers a sideways smile. “I told you before, I can take the League.”

  “We don’t even have a gun,” I say, because I have yet to replace the one I gave Ashlynn in her devious exchange.

  Lifting his shirt, Jax exposes a hint of solid abs as well as a revolver tucked into the waistband of his jeans. “Got a couple knives too. We’ll be fine. I’m sure they need time to coordinate whatever their attack is going to be anyway.”

  Picking our way through the woods, I don’t bother to ask where we’re going because I have a pretty good idea.

  It’s a beautiful day, sunny and warm with just enough of a gentle wind I don’t sweat as we hike. Birds chirp and leaves rustle, and I inhale the scent of clean air and grass and damp moss.

  We round the bend in the trail and there’s Jax’s rock looking out over the magnificent lake, as if keeping guard over the peacefulness of the scene.

  With a jump, Jax lands on top of the giant stone and, after a moment’s hesitation, I climb up beside him. It’s warm from the sun and smooth from centuries of wind and rain eroding its surface. We both sit so close that our arms are almost touching.

  Suddenly, being so near to Jax, I feel very awkward. We’ve kissed, but I don’t know what that means now or how he feels or what he’s thinking. Or how I feel and what I’m thinking. I still want to be mad at him about last night, but what am I really upset about? The drinking? The promise I was forced to make? Why? Why is this so hard for me?

  Then he reaches out, his arm encircling my waist and sliding us together until the last of the space is gone. It feels right and comfortable and perfect. I fit here, held against his body.

  I angle my head until it rests on his shoulder and I can feel his muscles move beneath me, fluid like the water in the lake, but powerful and strong too, a force not to be underestimated.

  “I shouldn’t have had all that alcohol last night,” he says.

  “Is that your way of apologizing?”

  “Yes. For the record, I’m not very good at doing so, so you’ll have to take it or leave it.”

  I lift my head. “Here, let me help. Repeat after me, I’m sorry.”

  “I’m… hungry?”

  “Sor-ry,” I say with strong emphasis on each syllable.

  “Sexy?”

  “Ugh, fine, whatever.” A small smile sneaks across my face anyway. I can’t help it. Somehow, with Jax, I never can. “But just so you know, I dumped the rest of the bottle into the grass.”

  He laughs. “That was probably a smart move. Now I know why Daniel tried to hide it. Come on, let’s go for a swim.”

  Jumping off the rock, he kicks off his boots and then yanks his shirt over his head, muscles along his back and arms rippling. I don’t mean to stare, but I do anyway without even realizing, my mouth slightly parted.

  Turning, he squints one eye against the sun, his black hair shining. I don’t move, still trying to tear my eyes away from him and unable to do so because he really is gorgeous. His shoulders are broad, chest muscular, his arms and face tanner than the rest of his body. On some people I guess that would look weird, but on Jax it doesn’t matter, adding to his rugged attractiveness instead. I refuse to tell him I think that though because it will only serve to inflate his ego further.

  Then I notice he’s watching me as I watch him and I am finally able to move again, quickly turning my gaze to the grey rock because I’ve now turned four shades of scarlet.

  “I uh… I don’t know how to swim, Jax.”

  “Then come float.”

  “I don’t know how to float. I’ve never been in anything larger than a bathtub.”

  Strolling back to me, he extends both hands my direction, palms up. “Then I’ll hold you.”

  I don’t really want to go i
n the water because I’m pretty sure I’ll drown in about five seconds, but he looks so eager and insistent, I don’t know how to say no. Scooting off the boulder, I remove my boots and tiptoe to the edge of the lake. Jax watches me,

  “You probably aren’t going to want to get your clothes drenched.”

  Horrified, I whip around. “I’m not stripping naked!”

  “Relax! That’s not what I’m suggesting. Geez, someone thinks highly of themselves. You have underwear on, right?”

  “I mean, yeah, but-“

  Undoing his belt, Jax kicks off his jeans until he wears nothing but boxers. “It’s all basically the same as a bathing suit.”